Posted July 5, 2018 Where is the love? It is closer than you think. It is so easy to look to others to make us feel a certain way. To need others to accept us, to support us, to see us, to validate us and yes, to love us. When that desire is met from something or someone on the outside we experience a sense of joy and maybe a certain attachment to the external source. We connect our happiness, joy, and self-worth to that external source. Then sadly things begin to change. Our needs change, desires and wants begin to change. However, In our perfect world, the external source would change with us! It would step up its game, it would know what we wanted before we even opened our mouth to utter a request, in our perfect world. When that does not happen we find a reason why the external source disappointed us, let us down, failed us and then we set out to search for a new external source to fill the void, A bigger, better one and we vow that this time it will be the right one, the right person, the right experience. Then the cycle begins again. What most fail to see is that life does not happen TO you, it happens THROUGH you. When you love and accept yourself unconditionally then, and only then will the external source match how you see yourself. Then you will see everything as just an experience, with no expectations, no attachments, no stories. Just a fun time, a new experience, something to add to your memories of being a human, after all, you are all those things (happiness, contentment, supported, validated, love) regardless of what is happening outside of you, around you. Where does your source of acceptance, validation, support, and love originate from? If your answer is pointing to an external source then this is your opportunity to build up those qualities inside of you and then watch how everything changes around you! Where is the love? It is you, always has been, always will be. Much Love, Tali 9 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 5, 2018 Thank you for this beautiful reflection. Wow there are so many things to be said about it! I like these kind of conversations. I think the key element or question of what you say is this: "Where does your source of acceptance, validation, support, and love originate from?". And I agree with you that "when you love and accept yourself unconditionally then, and only then will the external source match how you see yourself." I think it can't be the other way around because that approach would only be a continuous source of frustrations and problems. Being said that, I would have a different approach to what you say next about having no expectations, no attachments, no stories and just living an experience. I think true love, true friendship, true camaraderie at work, at war or during challenging moments, comes from us being willing to be vulnerable and to trust. It's a vulnerable position because that trust many times will be betrayed. But trust enables us to commit, to have expectations and attachments. To me the equation is simple to me: no trust = no real love, no real friendship, no real partners for important things. Now, if the main source of love comes, as you say, within ourselves, then we are capable of trusting once and again and open ourselves to true love. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 6, 2018 Tali, great post and am now smiling. I believe self acceptance and self compassion are so important and so under-rated. What I've found amazing is that acceptance (in many ways) can be the genuine start of positive change. And I have to quote BoraBora: 6 hours ago, Bora Bora said: To me the equation is simple to me: no trust = no real love, no real friendship, no real partners for important things. Now, if the main source of love comes, as you say, within ourselves, then we are capable of trusting once and again and open ourselves to true love. Trust is a commodity that is crucial for all types of relationships. And I do realize that there is a difference between "realistic" trust and "foolish" trust. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 6, 2018 4 minutes ago, average1 said: Tali, great post and am now smiling. I believe self acceptance and self compassion are so important and so under-rated. What I've found amazing is that acceptance (in many ways) can be the genuine start of positive change. And I have to quote BoraBora: Trust is a commodity that is crucial for all types of relationships. And I do realize that there is a difference between "realistic" trust and "foolish" trust. Please explain this "realistic" trust concept - I have only experienced the "foolish" trust reality. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 6, 2018 1 hour ago, BadBoy said: Please explain this "realistic" trust concept - I have only experienced the "foolish" trust reality. LOL. I think I learned about "realistic" trust because of some lessons learned from "foolish" trust. Thankfully, I survived some "foolish" trust situations. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 6, 2018 I used to have blind trust to all the lovely ladies of Colorado. Unfortunately because of a few that have robbed me not only of the cash but of services not rendered I have hardened a little. Trust has to be earned and when it is then friendship and even love may appear. I have to take things one step at a time. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 6, 2018 Profound Tantric wisdom eloquently put, Tali. Thank you. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 9, 2018 On 7/6/2018 at 3:06 PM, briscorp1 said: Profound Tantric wisdom eloquently put, Tali. Thank you. Thank you for reading On 7/6/2018 at 0:12 PM, Mr.Pink said: Blah lol a Man of many words....I like it! On 7/5/2018 at 6:47 PM, BadBoy said: Please explain this "realistic" trust concept - I have only experienced the "foolish" trust reality. Trust is a commodity that you must have in yourself in order to experience it in others. It is the same as romantic love, acceptance, happiness..etc it is always an inside-outside job. A favorite quote of mine is ( Be careful of a naked man who offers you his shirt) You can not give, you can not experience that which you do not occupy for yourself first. Thank you for the dialog 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 13, 2018 Tali, That truly was deep!!!!!!! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
