Posted July 4, 2018 It has come to my attention that a Client falsely told a provider that I referred him to her!. I DID NOT refer him to her. And worse still an unfortunate incident occurred between them. Nothing physical but something very disturbing to her, me AND him! Please do not ask me what it was. She claims he used my screen name, he claims he didn't! Who to believe!? However, as a result of this situation, I am asking ladies to please message me if you have seen me. AND want me to refer gentlemen to you. I will tell you EXACTLY what I will tell a gentleman that I refer to you. In other words, I will tell him EXACTLY what to tell you to verify that I did in fact refer him to you! I enjoy helping folks get together! Anyone who has been here very long knows this! I only refer gents who have reviews or FNG's that build a dialog and gain my trust! Many gentleman ask me about ladies and I am happy to help. Take care everyone and be safe! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 4, 2018 Wow, that is unfortunate. I always take these, "another client of yours or one of my colleagues referred me to you" with a grain of salt. I don't believe that most men chat about their encounters. This is just me though. The proper channels in screening should be in place, IMO. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 5, 2018 With all that’s going on, ladies, if anyone tells you that I referred him to you, contact me before agreeing to see him. I will tell you if I referred him or not. Be safe out there....and of course, have fun! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 5, 2018 17 hours ago, a_happycamper_12 said: It has come to my attention that a Client falsely told a provider that I referred him to her!. I DID NOT refer him to her. And worse still an unfortunate incident occurred between them. Nothing physical but something very disturbing to her, me AND him! Please do not ask me what it was. She claims he used my screen name, he claims he didn't! Who to believe!? However, as a result of this situation, I am asking ladies to please message me if you have seen me. AND want me to refer gentlemen to you. I will tell you EXACTLY what I will tell a gentleman that I refer to you. In other words, I will tell him EXACTLY what to tell you to verify that I did in fact refer him to you! I enjoy helping folks get together! Anyone who has been here very long knows this! I only refer gents who have reviews or FNG's that build a dialog and gain my trust! Many gentleman ask me about ladies and I am happy to help. Take care everyone and be safe! Sorry this happened. Open, discreet and HONEST communication is what makes this whole thing work. I'm like you in that I want to be helpful and also am cautious with what I share and with whom. It sucks when we try to be helpful and it backfires because everyone involved can be affected. And, yet, good communication can make things so much better. Again, just sorry this happened. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 5, 2018 51 minutes ago, ilovewomen said: With all that’s going on, ladies, if anyone tells you that I referred him to you, contact me before agreeing to see him. I will tell you if I referred him or not. Be safe out there....and of course, have fun! Many times I have a lady ask me if I referred a gentleman to her! So it is advisable, ladies, to please double check with me! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 5, 2018 I guess my question is what is a referral. There have been many times I have answered questions about a lady but very few that I have stated if you see them let them know I said hi. No matter which gentlemen I have asked about a YL I always expect the YL to do her due diligence. I cant remember a time I have mentioned another guy to get a date. This topic may have come about after the session but not before. Safe Hobbying 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 5, 2018 I am so sorry this happened to you but I commend you on being a logical and trusted reviewer on this board and not publicly blasting her info. I have had this happen to be three times in the past week, though on the opposite end. Gentleman trying to use me as a reference to see other providers when they've never even seen, let alone spoken, to me! Stay safe out there everyone and remain vigilant! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 5, 2018 3 hours ago, CallieVane said: I have had this happen to be three times in the past week, though on the opposite end. Gentleman trying to use me as a reference to see other providers when they've never even seen, let alone spoken, to me! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 5, 2018 3 minutes ago, pfunk said: This made me audibly snort and then howl in laughter! 🤣 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 10, 2018 HC - As other have said I am sorry this happen to you for honest and open communication helps all. Be safe and have fun, Chick 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 11, 2018 Sorry to hear that someone misrepresented knowing you. Yes ladies pm us if any one drops our handle. Better safe than sorry. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 12, 2018 On 7/5/2018 at 10:58 AM, new2hobbying said: I guess my question is what is a referral. There have been many times I have answered questions about a lady but very few that I have stated if you see them let them know I said hi. No matter which gentlemen I have asked about a YL I always expect the YL to do her due diligence. I cant remember a time I have mentioned another guy to get a date. This topic may have come about after the session but not before. Safe Hobbying A Referral. This occurs when a Gentleman may message me and quiz me about a particular lady I have seen. If I know the gentleman, as many guys and I message quite a bit, I will tell him to mention I referred him if he wants! Then SHE knows he and I "know" each other. She may feel more comfortable about seeing him! In this case, a client told YL that I referred him! (Message me and I'll direct you to his scorching review AND her reasoned rebuttal). I did not refer him! She texted me if I did refer and I said no I did NOT. And coincidentally, JUST as she and I were texting, he and I were messaging! SO I asked him, if he told her I referred him to her! He said no! So I am like who am I going to believe!? I believe YL! Be safe! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 12, 2018 3 hours ago, a_happycamper_12 said: A Referral. This occurs when a Gentleman may message me and quiz me about a particular lady I have seen. If I know the gentleman, as many guys and I message quite a bit, I will tell him to mention I referred him if he wants! Then SHE knows he and I "know" each other. She may feel more comfortable about seeing him! In this case, a client told YL that I referred him! (Message me and I'll direct you to his scorching review AND her reasoned rebuttal). I did not refer him! She texted me if I did refer and I said no I did NOT. And coincidentally, JUST as she and I were texting, he and I were messaging! SO I asked him, if he told her I referred him to her! He said no! So I am like who am I going to believe!? I believe YL! Be safe! Ladies still need to do screening and research on the gentleman to see if the two of you are compatible. We hear this all the time and it never should bypass screening or research. Unless a gentleman has had a personal encounter I’m not taking that as a solid reference. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 12, 2018 19 minutes ago, Laci French said: Ladies still need to do screening and research on the gentleman to see if the two of you are compatible. We hear this all the time and it never should bypass screening or research. Unless a gentleman has had a personal encounter I’m not taking that as a solid reference. never just let someone say that they "saw me" and think that is alright and good to go. Please either give me a call or send me a message. I research everything too. Just accepting word from a guy saying that they saw me? That is not enough information. When I give a provider a green light I get descriptive for their needs and i also research the provider if I have never met her. Possibly, by most (both sides) I get too descriptive? Just understand I am always playing on the safe,well polished, and clean side of this line of work and all the information I give is from my perspective yes, but always very honest. My concern is for everyone. Seldom do I personally ask for references from other providers. However, trust me in saying, I review all and I do my research on everyone involved. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 12, 2018 41 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: ...When I give a provider a green light I get descriptive for their needs and i also research the provider if I have never met her... I've always wondered what the ladies share among themselves when they give a reference. I'm okay with any kind of description about me or a session with me since I know I always behave like a gentleman... but just curious Maybe something like: He is okay... you'll have a lot of fun! or... he is okay but be prepare for the boring 1 hour of your day! LOL 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 12, 2018 I know I am a short timer here but I really have to question the value of another gentleman's referral. With all respect guys you don't know me and my behaviour first hand like a YL that I have actually spent time with. I could be filling you full of BS and be a rotten SOB ( I am not by the way) and just a few PM may not catch that. Another YLs reference though, totally different matter. I have chatted with a few guys here and have been offered a couple of referrals but won't use them. If a YL doesn't feel comfortable meeting me after communicating PM and phone then it isn't meant to be. Dropping another gentlemans name to change that just doesn't feel like the right way to progress toward a meeting. So for myself, I would prefer to pass or fail a ladies screening on my own 2 feet. I learned a long time ago to be careful of references as they can come back to bite you in your tender parts. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 12, 2018 3 minutes ago, BeenHereDoingThis said: I know I am a short timer here but I really have to question the value of another gentleman's referral. With all respect guys you don't know me and my behaviour first hand like a YL that I have actually spent time with. I could be filling you full of BS and be a rotten SOB ( I am not by the way) and just a few PM may not catch that. Another YLs reference though, totally different matter. I have chatted with a few guys here and have been offered a couple of referrals but won't use them. If a YL doesn't feel comfortable meeting me after communicating PM and phone then it isn't meant to be. Dropping another gentlemans name to change that just doesn't feel like the right way to progress toward a meeting. So for myself, I would prefer to pass or fail a ladies screening on my own 2 feet. I learned a long time ago to be careful of references as they can come back to bite you in your tender parts. I think I'm with you on this. I don't think I've ever asked a guy for information about a lady. I've been asked about whether a lady is of one sub genre or other (BDSM, FBSM, for example) and always ask the lady herself whether it's OK to give a specific answer (previewing the words with her). It may be unfair, but if a lady has a recent spotty track record, I just move on. In my opinion, there are too many good choices to get fixated on a unicorn. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 12, 2018 3 hours ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: never just let someone say that they "saw me" and think that is alright and good to go. Please either give me a call or send me a message. I research everything too. Just accepting word from a guy saying that they saw me? That is not enough information. When I give a provider a green light I get descriptive for their needs and i also research the provider if I have never met her. Possibly, by most (both sides) I get too descriptive? Just understand I am always playing on the safe,well polished, and clean side of this line of work and all the information I give is from my perspective yes, but always very honest. My concern is for everyone. Seldom do I personally ask for references from other providers. However, trust me in saying, I review all and I do my research on everyone involved. If there is”TOP SECRET” information shared? That information will only stay with me tho😘 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 13, 2018 18 hours ago, BeenHereDoingThis said: I know I am a short timer here but I really have to question the value of another gentleman's referral. With all respect guys you don't know me and my behaviour first hand like a YL that I have actually spent time with. ... Actually, over the course of years, by observing posts, through personal interactions via PM & Meet&Greets, and through a cross section of reviews, it is possible to determine who might be a good fit for an individual (M|F). Of course each of us must perform our own due diligence to make the final decision. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 13, 2018 32 minutes ago, Bit Banger said: Of course each of us must perform our own due diligence to make the final decision. Absolutely agree Bit. Ladies especially. Trust, but verify. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 14, 2018 Meeting someone in a social situation is a great way to get a better idea of what the individual is about. Nothing is hiding when you meet someone in a public social situation and watching them interact with others. Even if they can't see very well. Bit claims I am designated driver! Ask him HappyCamper! See I can't even hide from my own eyes!!! I don't look so good! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 14, 2018 1 hour ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: Meeting someone in a social situation is a great way to get a better idea of what the individual is about. Nothing is hiding when you meet someone in a public social situation and watching them interact with others.. To clarify for those that may not know, alway go through the Systems in place & not around them. However contact is established —-> triple check TOB users profiles, have them PM you or PM them. Also P411 alway go through their site & create a dialog confirm the ID in that manner. I have seen on Ladies websites to include ones P411 user handle in their contact form. Gentlemen never do this, if they ask tell them you will contact them through P411. If the Lady doesn’t have a P411 Profile be very skeptical going forward. The same with the Ladies, if someone says they are a member on TOB don’t assume that as fact. If you receive a false referral please report them. I hate to say it but meeting up one on one for lunch (a social setting) with an unknown might be the worst thing to do. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 14, 2018 11 hours ago, Kaduk said: To clarify for those that may not know, alway go through the Systems in place & not around them. However contact is established —-> triple check TOB users profiles, have them PM you or PM them. Also P411 alway go through their site & create a dialog confirm the ID in that manner. I have seen on Ladies websites to include ones P411 user handle in their contact form. Gentlemen never do this, if they ask tell them you will contact them through P411. If the Lady doesn’t have a P411 Profile be very skeptical going forward. The same with the Ladies, if someone says they are a member on TOB don’t assume that as fact. If you receive a false referral please report them. I hate to say it but meeting up one on one for lunch (a social setting) with an unknown might be the worst thing to do. Agree and if you have doubts or hesitation about scheduling you should not meet in public. If you do meet this does not by any means become a reference for this gentleman. Only reason to be a reference is after an encounter has taken place. I believe that LE can and will still bust ya for coffee. You might get it thrown out, but what a headache. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 15, 2018 On 7/5/2018 at 11:57 AM, CallieVane said: I am so sorry this happened to you but I commend you on being a logical and trusted reviewer on this board and not publicly blasting her info. I have had this happen to be three times in the past week, though on the opposite end. Gentleman trying to use me as a reference to see other providers when they've never even seen, let alone spoken, to me! Stay safe out there everyone and remain vigilant! Same has been happening to me. But also ladies need to remember just because so and so said he's nice to see doesn't mean he always is. Most of the time in my reference request i state "now this is for my visit(s) so please let me know if he's any different." OP, darling, so sorry that happened to you. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Amber720 said: But also ladies need to remember just because so and so said he's nice to see doesn't mean he always is. Most of the time in my reference request i state "now this is for my visit(s) so please let me know if he's any different." Good point! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 15, 2018 On 7/4/2018 at 1:24 PM, a_happycamper_12 said: It has come to my attention that a Client falsely told a provider that I referred him to her!. I DID NOT refer him to her. And worse still an unfortunate incident occurred between them. Nothing physical but something very disturbing to her, me AND him! Please do not ask me what it was. She claims he used my screen name, he claims he didn't! Who to believe!? However, as a result of this situation, I am asking ladies to please message me if you have seen me. AND want me to refer gentlemen to you. I will tell you EXACTLY what I will tell a gentleman that I refer to you. In other words, I will tell him EXACTLY what to tell you to verify that I did in fact refer him to you! I enjoy helping folks get together! Anyone who has been here very long knows this! I only refer gents who have reviews or FNG's that build a dialog and gain my trust! Many gentleman ask me about ladies and I am happy to help. Take care everyone and be safe! Here lately there has been lots of "unknowns" popping out of the wood works so please LADIES AND GENTLEMEN be EXTRA careful an safe out there!! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
