fishndude57

Infatuation…

108 posts in this topic

…mostly I think for us dudes. Can it happen? Has it happened to you? I know for a fact it has to me. How do we handle it? I mean this is an atmosphere where we’re able to gain satisfaction, but how is that defined? For me at least, it cannot just be a physical thing. For 2Big…who cares. But if I cannot have at least a thought process, why fuckin bother. I’ve fallen hard for 2x now. One I stay in touch with, one who cares. I’m learning how to control, not my emotions, but my thought process. We are all people, we are all people, it can be hard, because there can be sincere exchanges over time between all. Does there have to be a deviation, or can we remain friends. I’m gonna wish the latter. I so want it to be the latter…or was it all just a fuckin waste of time. Personally, I put a lot of energy into this, so I really hope not…Peace

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You are my lobster😘

It happens and so much fun to ride the train. Just gotta make sure you jump before the wreck😂

Edited by Laci French
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Ride the wave of happiness! So many people go without in life! To feel on any level is incrediblely lovely! Many levels of love in life all of which makes you human!😍Love Love Love!!!

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Been there. Falling in love (or lust) is a beautiful thing. Never a waste of time. Celebrate that it was. Accept that it has ended, if ending there is. Realize what you loved about her. Change your life in some meaningful way to honor the muse she became for you. Try to keep your heart open...breathe deeply.

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1 hour ago, Laci French said:

You are my lobster😘

It happens and so much fun to ride the train. Just gotta make sure you jump before the wreck😂

Absolutely

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8 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

 Has it happened to you?

 

Nope. Never. It's a paid transaction, and once the services have been rendered, thanks, and close the door on your way out. 

Think about it: you're "infatuated" by a girl who runs around with stale lube in her snatch, driving a car from appointment to appointment littered with McD's French Fries wrappers.;)

Edited by 2Big
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Infatuation is just another word for stalking. -_-

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14 minutes ago, 2Big said:

Infatuation is just another word for stalking. -_-

One man’s terrorist is another’s freedom fighter. 😇

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3 hours ago, 2Big said:

Nope. Never. It's a paid transaction, and once the services have been rendered, thanks, and close the door on your way out. 

Think about it: you're "infatuated" by a girl who runs around with stale lube in her snatch, driving a car from appointment to appointment littered with McD's French Fries wrappers.;)

Oh 2big! I have always been a fan of yours! I’m one of the rare people that sees your humor. T.O. Used to tell me all the time how he wised more people would see things the way you do. Sometimes a bit abrasive, but other times funny as hell. People take you too literal. Cheers!

Fishndude, enjoy the ride! You never know where it might take you! Look at me! Rare, but it happens. Keep it real, and let her define the boundaries. Continue to be your charming self, and maybe, just maybe sparks will fly. If not, be grateful for the time you spend with the gal and grow from it. Love, infatuation, lust etc comes in all different ways and looks different to everyone. You gotta try it on til you find the right fit. 

Word of caution...Be careful with falling for hookers! Most bitches be crazy! Don’t try to fix a young lady either! Either accept her and hang on or fucking RUN! 

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I’m not in love...I’m magnetized

 

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13 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

…mostly I think for us dudes. Can it happen? Has it happened to you? I know for a fact it has to me. How do we handle it? I mean this is an atmosphere where we’re able to gain satisfaction, but how is that defined? For me at least, it cannot just be a physical thing. ... We are all people, we are all people, it can be hard, because there can be sincere exchanges over time between all. Does there have to be a deviation, or can we remain friends. I’m gonna wish the latter. I so want it to be the latter…or was it all just a fuckin waste of time. Personally, I put a lot of energy into this, so I really hope not…Peace

 

Oh yeah! Besides greatly enjoying our BCD times together, handling it for me involves riding the relationship's infatuation ups & downs plus adding in humor during any available opportunity.

Every time one particularly amazing and sweet lady visits, I always propose at least once just to hear her creative answer. Last time I even got down on my knees and gave her a 2 ct round brilliant CZ engagement ring. The look in her eyes when she first saw it was priceless, and then she threw back her head and laughed uproariously - truly great fun for us both and helped keep the relationship real and simple! Next time we may play wedding night... more power to the quality crazy ladies!! :)

 

Edited by shane
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13 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

…mostly I think for us dudes. Can it happen? Has it happened to you? I know for a fact it has to me. How do we handle it? I mean this is an atmosphere where we’re able to gain satisfaction, but how is that defined? For me at least, it cannot just be a physical thing. For 2Big…who cares. But if I cannot have at least a thought process, why fuckin bother. I’ve fallen hard for 2x now. One I stay in touch with, one who cares. I’m learning how to control, not my emotions, but my thought process. We are all people, we are all people, it can be hard, because there can be sincere exchanges over time between all. Does there have to be a deviation, or can we remain friends. I’m gonna wish the latter. I so want it to be the latter…or was it all just a fuckin waste of time. Personally, I put a lot of energy into this, so I really hope not…Peace

 

Controlling the thought process is the only way to go remember it doesn't go both ways even though it can seem to. The emotional part and the communication that you can have can be very real and fun just have to remember that's all it is friendship is the best results if you're lucky

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I truly enjoy the physical part of a visit.  Who doesn't?  But, the more I've experienced this hobby the more I realize I'm better satisfied with the personal connection added in.  I believe the lady's dream is to make a living in the most comfortable manner they can and the guy's dream is to satisfy a fantasy.  Interpersonal relationships, whether initiated through physical means or not, can always lead to finding someone who intrigues you and really satisfies your interpersonal needs at that time.  Just by reading these forums and actually visiting some of the women, I enjoy the involvement and the friendships made.  A few of the ladies I feel I could spend a lot of time with.  The trick is to never over think it, recognize there is essentially a good deal of acting in this hobby, and know that this is a...... well....... a hobby!  

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Just because we're adults and it's a transaction doesn't mean affection can't develop and grow. In my other real world, I often get very fond of my clients and feel a bit of loss when I have to move on to another project. On the other side of the transaction, I've found that customers tend to buy from sellers they like. It's hard to fully separate the financial from the emotional. We're people, not ATMs.

The challenging part is continuing to be adults when circumstances get in the way of "going steady".

 

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But how many are in this "hobby" simply because they are incapable of infatuation or sincere feelings of affection toward another? On the flip side, how many want those feelings so bad they look anywhere for it, including places such as this that are a really bad idea as far as looking for true feelings? 

There was a fairly well known, well reviewed, p411, blah, blah lady a few years back that kicked ass in session.  Outside of sessions she had not just ice water in her veins but liquid nitrogen.  She was a professional grade con artist that could (and given the chance would) convince anyone equally well that she loved them and that the sky is purple with green polka dots.  And  she had ZERO capacity for remorse, compassion or concern for those she robbed blind.    Her business model was escort in order to find victims.  Infatuation is blood in the water to certain predators like her.  Fortunately for now she remains either very far UTR or retired.  Or pulled her shit on the wrong sucker and ............. nah, wishful thinking.

I only repeat over and over with a couple ladies where I believe there is a true friendship and connection.  But never again will I allow the delusion that it is remotely likely to be more than a great friendship with boundaries. 

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5 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

But how many are in this "hobby" simply because they are incapable of infatuation or sincere feelings of affection toward another? On the flip side, how many want those feelings so bad they look anywhere for it, including places such as this that are a really bad idea as far as looking for true feelings? 

There was a fairly well known, well reviewed, p411, blah, blah lady a few years back that kicked ass in session.  Outside of sessions she had not just ice water in her veins but liquid nitrogen.  She was a professional grade con artist that could (and given the chance would) convince anyone equally well that she loved them and that the sky is purple with green polka dots.  And  she had ZERO capacity for remorse, compassion or concern for those she robbed blind.    Her business model was escort in order to find victims.  Infatuation is blood in the water to certain predators like her.  Fortunately for now she remains either very far UTR or retired.  Or pulled her shit on the wrong sucker and ............. nah, wishful thinking.

I only repeat over and over with a couple ladies where I believe there is a true friendship and connection.  But never again will I allow the delusion that it is remotely likely to be more than a great friendship with boundaries. 

Live and learn😎

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This is a common topic used to come up on eccie all the time. I never thought it would happen to me. From the beginning I always saw it as strictly a business transaction. Everybody on the boards is always reminding us that it's just business and don't get confused. Well, little did I know that we would have married (and divorced lol).

It couldn't work as we got together for all the wrong reasons it was out of lust and in the end that wasn't enough we had too many big differences. I suppose we just let our emotions get carried away. We were probably never actually good for each other but, I guess lust is a hell of a drug lol

I saw a lot "behind the scenes" as they say. I don't regret my experience no matter how shitty things got and ended. I just try to remember the good times. Having seen a providers life behind the scenes and how things really work. I can see how guys can get confused about what's real and what's not, as this is their job and some are really good at what they do. I mean that's why they are getting paid, it's their livelihood, they might have a family, a kid in college, a mortgage etc. Anyway not trying to bring anybody down. Obviously it can happen as ive heard of it before not just in my case. Unfortunately from what I've seen they just don't seem to work out in the end. Point is just have fun and enjoy your time try not  think about the serious stuff. You would be surprised at what good actors some of them are...

Crazy enough that she was my first, I never even had a real relationship in my life before her. I've only seen providers since I was 17. So I don't know what I am saying. Yes, it can happen. It happened to me and if it can happen to me it can happen to anybody lol If it happens to you just enjoy it. I wouldn't "try" to go out looking and hoping for something to happen. Im sure its rare, I highly doubt it would happen to me again. I also don't think it's something I would want to happen again. I think keeping it just business is better for me in the long run. If I'm wanting a "real" relationship I should try and find somebody outside of the hobby. Keep the hobby on the side so it's always there if my "real" relationship gets shitty. Instead of screwing up my hobby life lol she was always suspicious of me, I couldn't hobby because of obvious reasons she knew this part of my life. Then me knowing her part of this life, I guess you could say shit can get confusing real quick. 

If you're asking if it can happen. Yes, it can. Should it happen? I don't know probably not in my case but, everybody is different. How do you know its real and you're not getting played? Thats a slippery slope. I was skeptical for a long time even after we were together. Because of my inexperience with real life relationships I feel it was worth it for me to try and make things work but, in the long run it seems like it was a terrible idea, things ended pretty badly. The grass isn't always greener, enjoy it for what it is now and try not to think about the future. If it happens it happens. Anyway sorry for the rambling just enjoy your life and have fun and make the best of it, whatever it is! 

 

Edited by Femboy286510
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2 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

But how many are in this "hobby" simply because they are incapable of infatuation or sincere feelings of affection toward another? On the flip side, how many want those feelings so bad they look anywhere for it, including places such as this that are a really bad idea as far as looking for true feelings? 

There was a fairly well known, well reviewed, p411, blah, blah lady a few years back that kicked ass in session.  Outside of sessions she had not just ice water in her veins but liquid nitrogen.  She was a professional grade con artist that could (and given the chance would) convince anyone equally well that she loved them and that the sky is purple with green polka dots.  And  she had ZERO capacity for remorse, compassion or concern for those she robbed blind.    Her business model was escort in order to find victims.  Infatuation is blood in the water to certain predators like her.  Fortunately for now she remains either very far UTR or retired.  Or pulled her shit on the wrong sucker and ............. nah, wishful thinking.

I only repeat over and over with a couple ladies where I believe there is a true friendship and connection.  But never again will I allow the delusion that it is remotely likely to be more than a great friendship with boundaries. 

I'm in the hobby because I honestly don't want what comes along with a relationship. I enjoy time alone. I enjoy the freedom to come and go as I please, with not obligations to other people. I don't want to explain why I took off for a few days, or worse, get permission for it. People get clingy and jealous in 'real world' relationships. A provider doesn't expect me to call her before I go to bed after we've met a few times. 

I've made friends with a few providers. Good people who are fun to talk to. Felt a little hung up on one provider a few years back, so I stopped seeing her. Her life was a trainwreck, and I figure I was more hung up on the fantasy than what reality would have ever been, so I stopped booking. She still advertises here from time to time, and I'm tempted to check in, but so far the big head keeps winning.

There are so many wonderful experiences to be had out in the world. I don't think I could limit myself to one, and it's a rare unicorn of a woman who wouldn't impose that on a non-professional partner.

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9 minutes ago, jj254-1 said:

I'm in the hobby because I honestly don't want what comes along with a relationship. I enjoy time alone. I enjoy the freedom to come and go as I please, with not obligations to other people. I don't want to explain why I took off for a few days, or worse, get permission for it. People get clingy and jealous in 'real world' relationships. A provider doesn't expect me to call her before I go to bed after we've met a few times. 

There are so many wonderful experiences to be had out in the world. I don't think I could limit myself to one, and it's a rare unicorn of a woman who wouldn't impose that on a non-professional partner.

 

So true 

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Thankfully my big head remains in control and not crossing any emotional lines that would cause wreckage.  That being said I feel a certain bond with my first and still stay in touch and see her.  Hopefully for quite a while but the relationship definitely has its boundaries for good reason.  I have met a couple of ladies that strongly intrigue me, I won't use infatuated, and can't wait to see them again.  We have to remember why we are where we are.  Personally I am not looking for E Harmony, just a pleasant respite from the real world.

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13 hours ago, AdeleFontaine said:

 Whatever made you post this, I wish you peace and healing. We are shaped by our experiences; whether they are positive or negative, they are always transformative, and therefore, worthwhile.

Actually several texts from a Lady got me on the subject, and how far I've come in my attitude too. She was focusing on one Gent and I used the word she was smitten. I looked up the word and decided it wasn't the correct definition. I then began thinking of the past, and present experiences, and again how far I've come along being polite, patient, and realistic. So I'm at Peace with the world right now. I will say I'm glad I posted this, I'm reading and re-reading every reply. Can only help, not only me, but others that may read too much into this hobby. In the last couple of months I've been fortunate enough to meet a lot of our peers that I never ever would have. One thing I've learned to be true, "We all need a friend now and then". I have only met a few true evil peeps so far in my 3 years. No regrets. 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, BeenHereDoingThis said:

Thankfully my big head remains in control and not crossing any emotional lines that would cause wreckage.  That being said I feel a certain bond...

Early in the morning I can't sleep
I can't work and I can't eat
I've been drunk all day, can't concentrate
Maybe I'm making a big mistake

Caught me down like a killer shark
It's like a railroad running right through my heart
Jekyll and Hyde the way I behave
Feel like I'm running on an empty gauge

Oh no not again
It hurts so good
I don't understand
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation

Heart beats silly like a big bass drum
Losing all equilibrium
It's so hard in the middle of the week
Maybe this woman's just all I need

Oh no not again
It hurts so good
I don't understand
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation…

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Things did not work out so well for me. I acted too weird, for example- I would be sitting in my chair waiting, she would come through the door and I would say "where you been", she would say "out ho-ing", then I would go off ranting "you're lying, you been out shopping, getting your nails done".

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32 minutes ago, fishndude57 said:

Actually several texts from a Lady got me on the subject, and how far I've come in my attitude too. She was focusing on one Gent and I used the word she was smitten. I looked up the word and decided it wasn't the correct definition. I then began thinking of the past, and present experiences, and again how far I've come along being polite, patient, and realistic. So I'm at Peace with the world right now. I will say I'm glad I posted this, I'm reading and re-reading every reply. Can only help, not only me, but others that may read too much into this hobby. In the last couple of months I've been fortunate enough to meet a lot of our peers that I never ever would have. One thing I've learned to be true, "We all need a friend now and then". I have only met a few true evil peeps so far in my 3 years. No regrets. 

I'm glad you're at peace. I do want to say that real mutual love can happen, even in this business. I had a girlfriend/lover/partner for 8 years, that I met doing this "hobby". 

It can, and does happen. Probably not frequently. I also think the evil gr8owl described is very rare, both here, and in the regular world.

So, I say, be open to anything, just don't be foolish. 

I wouldn't trade that 8 year relationship for anything! :)

Edited by pfunk
added a thought
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But how many are in this "hobby" simply because (we) are incapable of infatuation or sincere feelings of affection toward another? On the flip side, how many (of us) want those feelings so bad (we) look anywhere for it, including places such as this that are a really bad idea as far as looking for true feelings? 

This rings so true for me.  For me there is something painful about being alone - I mean REALLY SOLO in life, and I find myself resorting to this "transaction" all too often to avoid that discomfort.  The sad part for me is when I know in my heart that someone I desire won't give me the time of day unless I pay them to.... 

I'm genuinely curious about the ladies' motivations - sure there's the obvious money factor, but what's underneath that...?  What is it that makes you open up for any guy with money?  Are you looking for a momentary connection?  Do you feel loneliness at the end of the day...?

Edited by lintlizard
left out a verb
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19 minutes ago, lintlizard said:

  someone I desire won't give me the time of day unless I pay them to.... 

To be honest this is something that never really goes away lol at the end of the day money makes the world go around. That's women in general they will want to see money one way or another no matter what lol I lost way more money hooking up with a provider in a relationship than I would have if we had kept it strictly "business".

Edited by Femboy286510
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Some guys might be surprised as to how busy their providers really can be and what their schedules can be like. Many of them don't really even have time for a personal relationship. They are essentially on-call all night and day. Clients have different schedules and the money is good so they have to be there. I know mine could have appointments early as 7am and not come home until midnight some days.  The ones that treat it like a real business. On top of that in some way they are taking a pay cut and losing a client because eventually you won't be paying to see her. Now to mention all the possible drama that can occur from being in the hobby. It's just hard to make it work out and almost seems not worth it when you consider all the downsides. 

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