CallieVane

A Screening Conundrum

75 posts in this topic

Within the past few days I've noticed an odd trend of gentleman refusing to screen until I produce them with a list of rates and or services. The issue is I don't provide those until said gentleman have passed screening, that way I'm able to open more about myself. To the beautiful providers of this amazing site, how would you handle this situation? To the gentleman of this wonderful site, am I being unreasonable? I'm usually met with complete vitriol from the gentleman's part when this happens that results in me having to block them. Any help on this subject would be appreciated. Thank you! :) 

Edited by CallieVane
Added context.
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I’m sending you a Pm. 

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In my opinion, a gentleman will always be willing to provide screening information.

Some gentlemen may not be comfortable with the level of screening you want and in that case, it would be best for everyone concerned if he then contacted a different lady.

If a gentlemen is not willing to provide screening information of any kind, then he should consider that maybe this hobby is not the right outlet for him.

Guys need to realize that in order to get certain information from the ladies about rates and what may or may not be on the menu, a lady will feel more comfortable providing that information after he passes screening and she feels comfortable withe the gentlemen.

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One purpose of screening is to avoid silver bracelets.  Answering certain questions prematurely can lead to such troubles. I think you can probably explain rates on an hourly basis w/o problems. But never discuss services with an unknown.  If a potential client/escort can’t/doesn’t accept this, you don’t want to see them anyway; they probably have other faults. 

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2 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

One purpose of screening is to avoid silver bracelets.  Answering certain questions prematurely can lead to such troubles. I think you can probably explain rates on an hourly basis w/o problems. But never discuss services with an unknown.  If a potential client/escort can’t/doesn’t accept this, you don’t want to see them anyway; they probably have other faults. 

Agreed

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I am also running into this problem. You need to do what makes you feel safe. There are guys that are just never going to want to be screened in anyway. Those need to be blocked immediately... Your safety is absolutely imperative.

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39 minutes ago, CallieVane said:

Within the past few days I've noticed an odd trend of gentleman refusing to screen until I produce them with a list of rates and or services. The issue is I don't provide those until said gentleman have passed screening, that way I'm able to open more about myself. To the beautiful providers of this amazing site, how would you handle this situation? To the gentleman of this wonderful site, am I being unreasonable? I'm usually met with complete vitriol from the gentleman's part when this happens that results in me having to block them. Any help on this subject would be appreciated. Thank you! :) 

Sorry this is happening to you.  I agree with Bit.  Discussing "details" with an unknown can be risky.  I don't think what you are asking is unreasonable at all.  Two way communication, especially with someone new, is a give and take and proceeds at a pace that makes both sides feel more safe.  I thought we were in this to have some fun in a safe and respectful way for everyone involved, so do what you need to do to feel safe and HAVE FUN !!  

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45 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

In my opinion, a gentleman will always be willing to provide screening information.

Some gentlemen may not be comfortable with the level of screening you want and in that case, it would be best for everyone concerned if he then contacted a different lady.

If a gentlemen is not willing to provide screening information of any kind, then he should consider that maybe this hobby is not the right outlet for him.

Guys need to realize that in order to get certain information from the ladies about rates and what may or may not be on the menu, a lady will feel more comfortable providing that information after he passes screening and she feels comfortable withe the gentlemen.

My typical screening question is "Do you have any references or perhaps a TOB or p411 page you can share? :)" I feel as though that is very light screening and should they not have those I'm willing to work with them in other ways to try to help. My issue is gentleman refusing to provide absolutely anything until I lay out everything for them. I'm always very nice when responding so when it's met with hate back it tends to bruise my tender heart. :( 

it might just be a "pull out the toys and get it done myself" kind of night. 

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21 minutes ago, average1 said:

Sorry this is happening to you.  I agree with Bit.  Discussing "details" with an unknown can be risky.  I don't think what you are asking is unreasonable at all.  Two way communication, especially with someone new, is a give and take and proceeds at a pace that makes both sides feel more safe.  I thought we were in this to have some fun in a safe and respectful way for everyone involved, so do what you need to do to feel safe and HAVE FUN !!  

I couldn't agree more! 💕

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From my point of view: screening is a hassle. It's a very welcome hassle that makes me feel safer as well... But it's still a hassle. 

So before I bother to jump through all the hoops, I just like to know if the date has any chance of happening. I'd like to save us both some time by removing the big barriers to the date right off the bat. For me, those are dollars and location. If those two items aren't going to line up, it seems like a waste of both of our time to go through the screening process.

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I dunno. New world out there where both sides of the equation needs to adjust to the times.

Personally, no issue giving my TOB handle. But then again, not going to go much past that until I get an idea of rates and incall available and roughly where. And now that P411 is closed to new people, if a provider does not have some other presence, makes it hard for guys shut out to get some inkling, so yes, they might be getting a little more direct than ladies are used to.

Do what makes you feel comfortable/safe. Stick to your guns. Get a website built. But at same time, it isn't going to be smooth sailing anytime soon, so hike up the thigh highs and deal with it.

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30 minutes ago, CallieVane said:

My typical screening question is "Do you have any references or perhaps a TOB or p411 page you can share? :)" I feel as though that is very light screening and should they not have those I'm willing to work with them in other ways to try to help. My issue is gentleman refusing to provide absolutely anything until I lay out everything for them. I'm always very nice when responding so when it's met with hate back it tends to bruise my tender heart. :( 

it might just be a "pull out the toys and get it done myself" kind of night.

If that amout of screening was too difficult, or troublesome for them to provide.

It was probably going to be " a get it done for yourself " type of date anyway.      :D

 

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When we apply for certain privileges in life, like our jobs, perhaps a CC license, we undergo extreme screening and background checks. I see absolutely no reason why any person should think the safety of their inquiry, nor themselves should be any different. If I can't gain any due diligence on an inquiry, whether it be a job, housing ( I have successfully uncovered fraud )  at the request of one of our peers there, then simply move on. But do not deny the request of one our peers to screen you. I'd block you too. Their safety and yours!

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56 minutes ago, CallieVane said:

My typical screening question is "Do you have any references or perhaps a TOB or p411 page you can share? " ...

If they have P411, ask them to send a request through the system. Do NOT accept a P411 ID over the phone or through normal email. For TOB you might ask for a PM.

Other than that, you screening does look light. 

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Sorry if someone already suggested this but it will save you a lot of headache to put rates etc on your website. That way you can direct potential clients to the helpful information. 

Whether or not they actually read the helpful information is not guaranteed 😅

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I can see both sides here (menu first and screening first); however I always ask what screening a provider would like from me and let them know afterwards I'll have those questions.  Because I am a big fan of meeting ladies up North I always also include that I will be looking for an outcall up here as well so if she isn't up for that we don't waste our time.

 

In my opinion it's just kind of setting the terms of the meeting.  Its your business, so you get to pick whether or not I can have a taste.  But before I do I'm going to make sure I'll like it!  Plus, I respect someone who is upfront and I feel like the providers I prefer will appreciate that as well.

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My take:

I unfortunately no longer have my p411 account.  I was always an infrequent hobbyist, so my habit was to let my p411 expire and see regulars until I actually needed it again.  Had bad timing to be on the off part of the on-again, off-again cycle when the changes hit.

So now to provide screening means you'll have to contact a lady I've seen recently (and since I am an infrequent hobbyist, that list is short).  So I do not want to provide screening info before I know the hourly rates.  I don't want my references to have to field unnecessary calls!

There is also the idea for guys that we don't want to give out screening info if there's no chance of a date.  The more people who have the info, the more risk.

That said, the proper response for a gentleman is not vitriol.  It is either a polite explanation of why he wants to know rates first, or a simple "Sorry we couldn't work something out, have a great day"

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1 hour ago, fishndude57 said:

When we apply for certain privileges in life, like our jobs, perhaps a CC license, we undergo extreme screening and background checks. I see absolutely no reason why any person should think the safety of their inquiry, nor themselves should be any different. If I can't gain any due diligence on an inquiry, whether it be a job, housing ( I have successfully uncovered fraud )  at the request of one of our peers there, then simply move on. But do not deny the request of one our peers to screen you. I'd block you too. Their safety and yours!

I’m surprised you haven’t gotten a response to this but the first couple of things to answer the bold point would be: 

1.) The absolute legality of the nature of this business. So a general fear of being busted. 

2.) Fear of being busted by a spouse and/or job should a provider suddenly decide to become vindictive. This point comes up a lot on this board if not more so than the first. You don’t have to look too far to see someone say “I have too much to lose should X find out.” Often this is rebuked with one of three responses. “don’t give out more than you’re comfortable with”. “never give out personal information” and finally “if you have that much to lose pick a different past time.” 

So really if anyone were to actively read this board and take any advice you’ll overwhelmingly seeing “don’t give out personal info” more than anything else. Which, again, should anyone actively read and heed could cause problems when it comes to screening. 

Now that doesn’t explain the gross responses that are received. That’s something else entirely. 

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2 hours ago, decafnaetd said:

From my point of view: screening is a hassle. It's a very welcome hassle that makes me feel safer as well... But it's still a hassle. 

So before I bother to jump through all the hoops, I just like to know if the date has any chance of happening. I'd like to save us both some time by removing the big barriers to the date right off the bat. For me, those are dollars and location. If those two items aren't going to line up, it seems like a waste of both of our time to go through the screening process.

While I completely understand I would have to say my biggest concern is that discussing rates over text is hard evidence against me should anything go wrong. But it appears I may have to take the advice offered here. It just the recent changes and influx of LE that have got me so nervous. 

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2 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

If they have P411, ask them to send a request through the system. Do NOT accept a P411 ID over the phone or through normal email. For TOB you might ask for a PM.

Other than that, you screening does look light. 

I always have them message me through p411 or TOB if they say they have those, unfortunately, I have had gentleman try to fake that before as well. :( 

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I only hold out for general location info prior to screening. If she's too far away I don't wanna waste either my time or hers with screening. 

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Just now, jj254 said:

I only hold out for general location info prior to screening. If she's too far away I don't wanna waste either my time or hers with screening. 

Yeah I think general area of town is reasonable to ask for.  For some that's probably more important than rates, etc.  Sometimes you need something close to home or work...

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3 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

When we apply for certain privileges in life, like our jobs, perhaps a CC license, we undergo extreme screening and background checks. I see absolutely no reason why any person should think the safety of their inquiry, nor themselves should be any different. If I can't gain any due diligence on an inquiry, whether it be a job, housing ( I have successfully uncovered fraud )  at the request of one of our peers there, then simply move on. But do not deny the request of one our peers to screen you. I'd block you too. Their safety and yours!

+1

Well said Fish

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Hate to say it but there are ladies that create the impression that no screening is kosher.  I recently inquired with a lady about her availability the day I contacted her.  We had a very pleasant but brief text conversation.  I became even more convinced I would like to see her, but she said she was booked that night.  So I asked "then could I get screened ahead of time for making easier in future since I know I really want to see you?"  Her response - "what do you mean screening?"  I shudder for her safety and others like her, but there are enough that it gives some guys the impression that is normal and then boom, somebody wants real name, references, place of employment, etc.  I am not blaming the ladies that do zero screening, but I do worry about their safety and they do create misconceptions.

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Another unfortunate result of the changes thanks to the new, non-information age. Now I am sure the guys in question don't have a problem comprehending safety and such...at least for the most part. That said, I understand the mindset. A guy goes through the screening process with questions, referrences...whatever the particular lady wants. It takes however much time and effort it takes. Finally, it is done. Him;" OK....I like X"  Her" I don't offer X".....Him..."Bye". Want another example? You go to a car lot to get a new car.....First thing in the door they say....'Let's get you down to finance and fill out the credit apps and get you approved......afterwards...we will tell you what kind of cars we sell, how much they are, and if you can see one."  

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As much as the ladies are all individuals so are the guys.  All I can speak for is myself.  I tend to do my research on a potential date prior to initial contact.  Other reviewers, other sites that still allow activity lists, personal websites, etc.  So I have an idea prior about activities. Costwise have all been in a median range. Some VIPs get out of my range but as a rule haven't hit a deal breaker yet.  Time available is my big issue. Daytime hours are difficult for me.  Even location is minor.  As far as screening, I am open to the ladies asking most anything.  Just my thoughts.

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2 hours ago, gr8owl said:

So I asked "then could I get screened ahead of time for making easier in future since I know I really want to see you?"  Her response - "what do you mean screening?" 

     Sounds like one to avoid...no matter what she looks like.  She's a handcuff case just waiting to happen.

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I have a question maybe someone can answer. What do you do when other providers contact you and pretend to be a hopeful client. Also ladies can you give me tips on how to properly screen a client. Because Denver is much different the. Los Angeles where clients are willing to provide details. 

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11 hours ago, CallieVane said:

Within the past few days I've noticed an odd trend of gentleman refusing to screen until I produce them with a list of rates and or services. The issue is I don't provide those until said gentleman have passed screening, that way I'm able to open more about myself. To the beautiful providers of this amazing site, how would you handle this situation? To the gentleman of this wonderful site, am I being unreasonable? I'm usually met with complete vitriol from the gentleman's part when this happens that results in me having to block them. Any help on this subject would be appreciated. Thank you! :) 

As a gentleman,  (some would debate that 😎) I always introduce myself as a member of theotherboard. I sometimes include a link to my profile. I direct her to my reviews. I also have several providers on here that are excellent references for me as I am for them. I also vouch for a number of gentlemen on Theotherboard, as they do for me! 

I think a gentleman  should be willing to be screened for both parties benefit. If I pass a providers screening, isn’t that a feather in MY cap as well as giving her assurance of a safe encounter with me? The only thing I will not do is provide real life information. I will provide a photo, ( no selfies) upon request,  via email. In the distant past I have been asked to produce a drivers license upon arrival. To which I kindly declined. 

It shouldn’t be so difficult to get together. We both know WHAT we want. If you are a non-member on Theotherboard guys, I recommend you join up. It would probably be a lot easier to get together with the beautiful ladies on this board! Don’t be so unwilling to give her a comfortable feeling about you. 

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4 hours ago, JRWolfe said:

     Sounds like one to avoid...no matter what she looks like.  She's a handcuff case just waiting to happen.

 Perhaps. A different approach I lean toward is encouraging her to check out this board and other resources and learn to protect herself. Didn't ask about handcuffs lol. 😎 oh wait .......

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