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Was told not to bother old clients

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So I reached out to a massage therapist to see where she was exactly located up north.  She did tell me which was greatly appreciated.  During the conversation because she asked not to discuss particulars I stated I was checking with her clients to see if we would be a good fit.  I was told not to bother her clients (2 reviewers) and that after the initial email I could ask her whatever I wanted.

 

Seems that since TOB had to tighten things up, it keeps getting harder and harder to get answers from people.  I do not feel I steeped over the line to see if she was good at her job!

 

Have other been experiencing this?

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If she alowes reviews, what is the problem. She should be glad your playing it safe.

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Perhaps a self reviewer if their new to site?

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OK, now you have learned to call the other two guys without necessarily detailing every nuance of your due diligence to the lady.

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Honestly I have had a couple of my clients complaining about pm's sent asking detailed questions and wanting to know what is on the menu.

Most gentlemen do not want to be bothered by others and find it to be a problem with their hobby discretion. 

Don't be surprised if you do not get a response. Most guys are not the gossip type.

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I have reached out to about 3 different "clients" of providers that had posted one of those innocuous reviews.  I found all 3 to be very responsive and helpful.  I disagree that "most gentlemen" do not want to be bothered.  And I certainly dont consider it "gossip" by trying to find out exactly what services are offered and which are shunned. It might be fine for some guys to just blindly throw around hundreds of dollars and hours of their time trying to land on the right provider, but that's pretty foolish if you ask me.  Specifically, with the lack of menu items and no way to determine if a provider is a 3-G er or even just a rub and tug, the consumer here shouldnt be faulted for looking under the hood, so to speak.

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Asking about services and other information on a lady from a gentleman that seen her is fine. I just know that I don't perform the same with anyone as everyone is different.

So YMMV.

Edited by Kandi Apple
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2 hours ago, Fritzie said:

I have reached out to about 3 different "clients" of providers that had posted one of those innocuous reviews.  I found all 3 to be very responsive and helpful.  I disagree that "most gentlemen" do not want to be bothered.  And I certainly dont consider it "gossip" by trying to find out exactly what services are offered and which are shunned. It might be fine for some guys to just blindly throw around hundreds of dollars and hours of their time trying to land on the right provider, but that's pretty foolish if you ask me.  Specifically, with the lack of menu items and no way to determine if a provider is a 3-G er or even just a rub and tug, the consumer here shouldnt be faulted for looking under the hood, so to speak.

Thanks Fritze.  I feel contacting a client or two is the only way to find out sometimes.  I am a cyclist and actually want a good massage.  I contacted another hobbiest on here about a massage woman and he told me that if you want some oil on your back rubbed in from a really hot girl and pay a lot then she is your girl.  Now that is not what I was wanting to hear or want.  So checking is the only way and I feel we have every right.

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YMMV usually with any/all providers of course, because chemistry is always different from one person to another and what happened between 2 people may not happen with another and sometimes even when you have the same people involved it's still YMMV, because you might both be in a different mood or the chemistry is slightly different the second time around. But with the op, more and more you get potential clients messaging other clients for at least a little bit of general info so that you have an idea of what kind of time you could possibly have apposed to having no clue and if it's someone with multiple reviews themselves there shouldn't be much of an issue because you should look out for each other to stay safe and out of trouble.... Now if you or the one your messaging about info on a lady only has 1 or 2 reviews then that's when people get a lil more hush hush imo

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14 hours ago, leigeois said:

So I reached out to a massage therapist to see where she was exactly located up north.  She did tell me which was greatly appreciated.  During the conversation because she asked not to discuss particulars I stated I was checking with her clients to see if we would be a good fit.  I was told not to bother her clients (2 reviewers) and that after the initial email I could ask her whatever I wanted.

 

Seems that since TOB had to tighten things up, it keeps getting harder and harder to get answers from people.  I do not feel I steeped over the line to see if she was good at her job!

 

Have other been experiencing this?

Leigeois,

You are welcome to contact me about providers I’ve seen. Obviously since the changes on Theotherboard, reviews lack what I consider important information. And as such it becomes necessary to reach out via messaging, It was happening prior to the changes and is occurring now.

If the YL has preferences then obviously we need to respect those. But I for one do not mind being contacted.

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This is where the newbies really suffer under the current environment. When I receive a request for particulars about a YL, I consider WHO asked:

  • Has he been around a while (3+ months)?
  • Has he participated in the board (50+ posts)?
  • Has he been seeing established ladies (2+ reviews)?

If YES to most of the above and I have personal knowledge of the YL, I’ll give him a recommendation.

If not, crickets.

 

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9 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

This is where the newbies really suffer under the current environment. When I receive a request for particulars about a YL, I consider WHO asked:

  • Has he been around a while (3+ months)?
  • Has he participated in the board (50+ posts)?
  • Has he been seeing established ladies (2+ reviews)?

If YES to most of the above and I have personal knowledge of the YL, I’ll give him a recommendation.

If not, crickets.

 

I hate crickets...just sayin

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What Bit said, but, I'll be more strict "guidelines". And when I do respond, will not go into graphic detail as things are very YMMV, time passes (what was valid then might not be now). If I had a bad time, might go into more specific things (eg. Fake pics, bad location, bad attitude).  I am a cyclist and actually want a good massage.  I contacted another hobbiest on here about a massage woman and he told me that if you want some oil on your back rubbed in from a really hot girl and pay a lot then she is your girl.  Now that is not what I was wanting to hear or want.  So checking is the only way and I feel we have every right.

1 hour ago, leigeois said:

I am a cyclist and actually want a good massage. 

A mistake, imo. If you want a good massage, don't be trolling body rub girls, go to a legit massuese. Yes, at times, there are body rubbers that can give a good massage, but they tend to be few and far between. Kinda like going to an Italian restaurant but also wanting to get good sushi there as well.

ADD: lesson learned. Don't have to tell a lady everything, lest you piss her off and or creep her out.

Edited by NoCoGeezer
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Question....legally speaking. It’s unwise to ask Providers these questions but is there any issues with client to client contact? I guess I’m wondering where is the line and who is allowed to cross it?

Plus, I think it makes sense to not get full answers until screening. It’s like any top notch website. You don’t get all the goods/discounts until you register as a user. 

 

XxKae Marie 

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Not a lawyer, but -

As long as the client providing information does NOT have a financial stake in the YL’s business, it should be very hard for LE to build a case for pandering/promoting against him. If the person asking happens to be LE, any confession would be w/o Miranda.

If the person providing the information is LE, it would be hard to build a case for solicitation because the person asking is not requesting services, just information.

Webmasters, on the other hand, do have a financial interest, ablet indirect through advertising revenue, in the YL’s success. The new laws make this issue more difficult to skirt.

———

At least that’s my interpretation.

Edited by Bit Banger
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I think you have every right to ask the clients, and they have every right to answer or not answer your questions. My job is to protect myself and that is through screening, and then making sure that you know what to expect when meeting me. I know others do it differently which is why I am explaining my veiwpoint. My thinking is it is my job to provide the service so it is my job to make sure the clients know what to expect.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

Xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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2 hours ago, Fritzie said:

I hate crickets...just sayin

   Disagree, I always liked the Crickets.Both with and after Buddy Holly was their leader.

 

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Guys sharing information about ladies they've seen through PMs have become a way of life on this board.  I would think, as long as it is done responsively, the ladies would be in favor of this. I for one, would not book with a lady if I could not find out certain information, information that used to be in the reviews.  I have booked with ladies recently after getting information from others on here, and I have reason to believe that others have booked with ladies after getting information from me. If I ever reached out for information and got a response like "I saw her but she doesn't want me to give out any information about her to others," there is no way I would book with her.  Of course, it goes without says, that the safety of the ladies on this board is paramount, but I think most guys will move on if they can't get the information they are looking for.

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I'll be maintaining an absolute Don't ask policy for myself. My don't tell policy will be limited for a very few. I've always done my own due diligence, yes reviews helped, but I'm just not gonna go there. Plus a few of us figured out how to contact some in a different fashion, that is in my Don't tell policy, so don't ask. Eccie has published they expect to be back up early June. 

Edited by fishndude57
Eccie
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5 hours ago, Fritzie said:

I hate crickets...just sayin

I had Cricket in my house once! Woke me up 2:00 in the morning! Pissed my right off! 🤨

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These communities are about making the best and safest decisions you can to keep your hobby life discreet, safe, and fun.  With current reviews the way they are, I feel you should always PM another fellah who has dated the gal you are about to see if you have questions.  I've been PM-ing people when trying to make the best dating choices for 20 years now and it always helps me out when I'm seeing someone new.  Which is why I always share what I can to pay it forward.  If I get crickets, I just don't go see the lady.  No ones asking for gossip, far from it, just helpful hints.  And how hard is it to simply reply in a very non-incriminating manner?

Aren't there board rules that govern the confidentiality of PM conversations?  Also, and more importantly, PMing may reveal some 411 that could help one steer towards a better opportunity for them.  If you 'cricket' someone and they proceed with an otherwise unavoidable lackluster time, or a time where there is a 'provider's no no' that was a 'john's please please', a provider may get a 'no' rec that could have easily been avoided.  And there are too many bullshit 'no' recommendations out there because of some jaded dude, riddled with entitlement issues, has an axe to bear because he didn't get what he felt he deserved.  Happens way too often - IMO.

YMMV - always the golden rule, always will be, respectfully:)

Agree that guys aren't gossipers and want their hobby life private - I want it that way and respect it in others.  But the landscape of this hobby is very different now and a whole lot of what people used to access on these boards (that helped them immensely) resides only in the minds of those that have dated before them.  Sad that is so hard to see. 

I hope everyone can use the current tools and make the best decisions they can - and choose smart and safe; and if they see a provider whose offering misses their mark, I feel bad for both parties.

My 2 cents - yes, i'll keep the change:)

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Why crickets?

French rules 😁 A presumption of guilt, of being LE, until proven otherwise.  Until I’m convinced you’re a legitimate client I will neither confirm or deny a YL's services, rates, or attitude. Sorry newbies, but us old farts want to protect our friends.

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2 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

I'll be maintaining an absolute Don't ask policy for myself. My don't tell policy will be limited for a very few. I've always done my own due diligence, yes reviews helped, but I'm just not gonna go there. Plus a few of us figured out how to contact some in a different fashion, that is in my Don't tell policy, so don't ask.

  Great :(  Now we will never find out the best fishing holes,bait to use and what lady is best at cleaning the fish for dinner :(

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1 minute ago, JRWolfe said:

  Great :(  Now we will never find out the best fishing holes,bait to use and what lady is best at cleaning the fish for dinner :(

Yup...Go Find Your Own Damn Fish, lol

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Pretty sure anything I would tell another client is totally worthless to LE.  They could not prove that I, or the YL in question, actually participated in anything I say I did in a PM.

I'm not a lawyer and I don't play one on TV.

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Personally, I believe the problems lies with fake providers and fake reviewers as the real people on this site do not mind sharing their experiences and the only ones who would are part of the new trend that has infected our home here....Dont get me wrong not everyone new here is part of that by any means but the ones who are not willing to do things right are the problem here now....If you happen to encounter reviewers or providers who are not willing to be helpful check the number of reviews they have and how long ago they joined the site and I am relatively certain you will begin to see a trend that is emerging here....Just saying that I see happening and am certain that others here do too....Have a wonderful day and play safe and realize top rated providers do not became that in days or weeks instead it takes years of providing quality service to quality clients here and those who think otherwise clearly are the problem here....The is no short cut to quality here or anywhere else....

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2 hours ago, a_happycamper_12 said:

I had Cricket in my house once! Woke me up 2:00 in the morning! Pissed my right off! 🤨

I love them! However, I am not sure about having them inside my home?!

if you ask me about reiki? I will try not to bore you to sleep. I can also answer questions about my approach to physical massage. Just please refrain from asking about some of the other more intimate inflammatory info pleasssseee😘

Edited by Kali Sensual Reiki
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4 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

I'll be maintaining an absolute Don't ask policy for myself. My don't tell policy will be limited for a very few. I've always done my own due diligence, yes reviews helped, but I'm just not gonna go there. Plus a few of us figured out how to contact some in a different fashion, that is in my Don't tell policy, so don't ask. Eccie has published they expect to be back up early June. 

Why? As in why do you maintain this policy? You wrote ample reviews so had no problem putting information out into the ether for any and everyone to read. You giving up any details about services or experience in a personal response doesn’t really cause any harm because it’s still up the provider to screen accordingly. Yes?

So while this is directed to you it’s not at the same time as many others here have said they too would be tight lipped. I guess I don’t see the difference of someone asking you a question in a message and you listing out acronyms as well as your date in detail in a review. 

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10 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

This is where the newbies really suffer under the current environment. When I receive a request for particulars about a YL, I consider WHO asked:

  • Has he been around a while (3+ months)?
  • Has he participated in the board (50+ posts)?
  • Has he been seeing established ladies (2+ reviews)?

If YES to most of the above and I have personal knowledge of the YL, I’ll give him a recommendation.

If not, crickets.

 

Bit, I take almost the same stance as you do.  I do take into account who is asking.  I may not go "crickets", but if someone is brand new, no board presence, no reviews, I will be polite, but very general in my response.  And I do appreciate that the newbies will have a tougher time.  But if the newbies hang around here, participate, find a couple of newbie friendly ladies, and review then they won't have to be worried about being newbies anymore. 

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10 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

This is where the newbies really suffer under the current environment. When I receive a request for particulars about a YL, I consider WHO asked:

  • Has he been around a while (3+ months)?
  • Has he participated in the board (50+ posts)?
  • Has he been seeing established ladies (2+ reviews)?

 

 

Well, that leaves me out as I have never written reviews on the ladies :(

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