Audrey Astor

Post Your Funnies

207 posts in this topic

Blast from the past (1956)... theme song for hot dogs and our wonderful ladies. ;)

Edited by shane
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On 8/1/2018 at 6:03 PM, average1 said:

All of these made me laugh.  Thanks !!  In Burbank there was a hot dog shop...I don't remember the name, but their tag line on he sign was "Where 8 inches is merely average".  I often wondered how many giggles they got from drivers passing by.

Finally found the link for all 28 of them from Megan Marie's Twitter feed: https://www.ranker.com/list/dirty-business-slogans/nathandavidson

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3 hours ago, Bora Bora said:

only-100-years.jpg

 

you-are-very-pretty.jpg

 

I laughed my butt off at your post. And I am still laughing while typing this.  Great and thanks, I needed a good laugh.  It's been a tough week at work.

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3 hours ago, Bora Bora said:

only-100-years.jpg

 

you-are-very-pretty.jpg

 

George should tell his wife, that the pretty waitress has cured his erectile dysfunction . . .

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24 minutes ago, Skylighter said:

George should tell his wife, that the pretty waitress has cured his erectile dysfunction . . .

:D:D:lol::lol:

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Last Wishes

His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, are with him.

He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.

When all is ready he begins to speak.

"My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses."

"My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments between mile markers100 and Tavernier."

"My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the Marathon Government Center."

"Sarah,  my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bay side on Blackwater Sound."

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says:
"Mrs. Pender, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property.

The wife replies, "The asshole has a paper route"...
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There is a medical distinction between “Guts” and “Balls”, according to the British military. We've heard colleagues referring to people with “Guts”, or with “Balls”.

Do they, however, know the difference between them?

Here’s the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.

GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the “Guts” to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum and having the “Balls” to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

Medically speaking, there is no difference in outcome; both are fatal.

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This guy goes to a new bar and orders the special drink. He likes it so he orders a few more and gets wasted. The next day he comes in the bar and asks the bartender, “what was in the drink? I went home and blew chunks...”

Bartenders says, “look it’s okay, we all throw up after drinking too much..”

The guy says, “chunks is my dog...”

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