bmg45

New Guy Here - encourage me, PLEASE!

71 posts in this topic

1 hour ago, bmg45 said:

This seems to be 100% correct from everything I’ve read.  So it looks like P411 is the way to go.  Ultimately safest for everyone I suppose.  

I’ve read a lot of posts here and elsewhere specifically on P411 and have seen very little negative.  And from the comments in this thread it seems they are generally respected and supported within the community.  Anyone have a different opinion?

I know it sounds like we all get a commission when you sign up for P411, but frankly you need to realize that about once a week some new guy wanders in and asks all the same questions, puts up the same objections, etc., and frankly, I get tired of it.  No, P411 is the solution to all of your problems, but it appears that you wanted some direction as to the easiest way to meet some quality ladies.  It is the easiest way.  That is its primary advantage.  Are there other ways, sure there are, but I don't know what they are.  P411 is just easy, that's all.

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38 minutes ago, BadBoy said:

I know it sounds like we all get a commission when you sign up for P411, but frankly you need to realize that about once a week some new guy wanders in and asks all the same questions, puts up the same objections, etc., and frankly, I get tired of it.  No, P411 is the solution to all of your problems, but it appears that you wanted some direction as to the easiest way to meet some quality ladies.  It is the easiest way.  That is its primary advantage.  Are there other ways, sure there are, but I don't know what they are.  P411 is just easy, that's all.

I’m with you BadBoy. At least once a week someone Johns andnoists and asks how they can get verified without giving out personal information.  It does get tiring trying to tell everyone what is already written and available here.

Maybe we should direct them all to Mustang as he claims that in the hundreds of women he has seen, he has never once given up one iota of personal information to anyone to get screened to verify who he is. He can tell them how to get screened without giving up something.

I will say this, once you get references and they will verify you, then you are pretty much golden....and that goes for the guys who claim they have NEVER given up iota of personal information.

 

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I always wonder how new guys seem to know all the terminology...stuff I don't even know as a provider, and then there like any new advise for a Newbie??? Lol. I'm like please...you found your way to this site, know more than I do about the hobby. The dots don't always connect... 🤔

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Forgive my spelling...it seems like my phone and my fingers are fighting each other today 😂

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39 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

I’m with you BadBoy. At least once a week someone Johns andnoists and asks how they can get verified without giving out personal information.  It does get tiring trying to tell everyone what is already written and available here.

Maybe we should direct them all to Mustang as he claims that in the hundreds of women he has seen, he has never once given up one iota of personal information to anyone to get screened to verify who he is. He can tell them how to get screened without giving up something.

I will say this, once you get references and they will verify you, then you are pretty much golden....and that goes for the guys who claim they have NEVER given up iota of personal information.

 

Never said anything like that.  It's just that I have never given up my name and employment, and I've hobbied hundreds of times, not see hundreds of different women. Please don't misrepresent what I said.  I think P411 is a good organization, and if you don't mind give up your name and employment, they by all means go sign up.  It's just I've never found the need.  I have posted many reviews and have many references and no p411 account. I'm not trying to talk anyone out of getting a p411 account, if fact for some it is a really good option. But the OP expressed concern about giving up personal info and I just wanted to let him know that there might be another way.  And yes, you are free to direct anyone to me that you would like. I'm happy to share what info I have.  :)

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3 hours ago, Mustang87 said:

I've never given these things up and have hobbied hundreds of times over the last 7-8 years. Have not joined p411 either. It can be done without out too much trouble. 

Not mis-representating what you said. I repeated what you said.

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41 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

I always wonder how new guys seem to know all the terminology...stuff I don't even know as a provider, and then there like any new advise for a Newbie??? Lol. I'm like please...you found your way to this site, know more than I do about the hobby. The dots don't always connect... 🤔

Well I guess I didn’t really start the whole thing to ask about P411.  It’s seems to have gone that way, but it wasn’t so much my intent.  I guess that’s on me for expressing concern about verification but I’ve stated I see the need and that I’ll likely do the easy thing and join.  

Really was more interested in what other kinda crap I oughta know. I get the generic be respectful stuff and I’d think unless your just an asshole that’s not to hard, but certainly there are some unwritten rules folks could share, right?  Some thoughts on what gets you a good rep with the ladies, right?  Some things to avoid that really piss them off (apparently questioning verification is one - I got that one down now)? 

Certainly there’s more advice than just join P411, right?   Help a guy out here.  

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I’m with Mustang on this one. I’m not a P411 member either and I had no problem getting started in this hobby a couple of years ago. Once you have seen a couple of ladies that are newbie friendly and they give you references on your profile you are on your way. It also helps to give reviews occasionally and ask for references from the ladies that you really connect with. Current references are important to most of the ladies on this board.

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6 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

Not mis-representating what you said. I repeated what you said.

You wrote this, and it is not true:  "Maybe we should direct them all to Mustang as he claims that in the hundreds of women he has seen, he has never once given up one iota of personal information to anyone to get screened to verify who he is. He can tell them how to get screened without giving up something."

Not sure why you feel the need to keep challenging my positions just because you disagree with me. I said I've hobbied hundreds of times.  That's true.  You said, I said, I've seen hundreds of women.  I never said that. (but I have seen over a hundred, many of them multiple times) I said I never gave up my name and employment.  That's true.  You said, I said I never gave up any information.  I never said that. I've given my handle and access to my profile.  You can varify everything I said by just looking at my profile.  If you want to tell everyone the only way they can hobby is to join p411, feel free, and I won't challenge. 

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I too have never given name and employment. You don’t need to do that to enjoy this hobby

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32 minutes ago, bmg45 said:

Well I guess I didn’t really start the whole thing to ask about P411.  It’s seems to have gone that way, but it wasn’t so much my intent.  I guess that’s on me for expressing concern about verification but I’ve stated I see the need and that I’ll likely do the easy thing and join.  

Really was more interested in what other kinda crap I oughta know. I get the generic be respectful stuff and I’d think unless your just an asshole that’s not to hard, but certainly there are some unwritten rules folks could share, right?  Some thoughts on what gets you a good rep with the ladies, right?  Some things to avoid that really piss them off (apparently questioning verification is one - I got that one down now)? 

Certainly there’s more advice than just join P411, right?   Help a guy out here.  

Of course. I think as long as you are respectful of the provider and her requests as far as what she personally needs to feel comfortable spending time alone with you, you'll be fine. As far as getting a good reputation with the provders...its not that difficult really. All you have to do is treat her well during your session. Just like a normal human being no better no worse than you would expect to be treated. Be a gentleman before during and after. If you can do this, you'll get great references. You don't need to be the best looking man, or have a ton of money, or a 100 reviews or a thousand posts.  I hope this helps.  This is just a perspective from a provider. 

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2 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

Of course. I think as long as you are respectful of the provider and her requests as far as what she personally needs to feel comfortable spending time alone with you, you'll be fine. As far as getting a good reputation with the provders...its not that difficult really. All you have to do is treat her well during your session. Just like a normal human being no better no worse than you would expect to be treated. Be a gentleman before during and after. If you can do this, you'll get great references. You don't need to be the best looking man, or have a ton of money, or a 100 reviews or a thousand posts.  I hope this helps.  This is just a perspective from a provider. 

Thanks you Hunter. This is more what I wanted.  Some insight from someone who’s been there.  

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I'll add, as a recent newbie myself, the hardest appointment is the first one.  Once I made and completed that first appointment I felt much more prepared to book the second.  You learn a lot when you get in the game the first time.  I also had a better idea of what I was or wasn't willing to share about my life outside of the hobby after I had gone through a screening once.  I have seen that some providers ask for more than I am willing to share.  No harm done. Now that I have a good reference or two, that part becomes easier.  

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13 hours ago, bmg45 said:

So yeah, I kinda agree.  Here’s the funny thing to me. It’s not a breach of any legal contract, but if you look at marriage from a Biblical perspective it is clearly wrong to withhold yourself from your spouse.  There’s a specific direction not to do that.  With very good reason.  Yet I’m the one that will get drug through hot coals if this goes bad.  

I don’t feel great about it.  It’s not where I thought this would go. But the physical ache and the mental toll of having no physical contact has simply warn me down.  It’s not just a lack of sex. There’s nothing. It’s like I’m raising kids with my sister or something.  Some of y’all on here have got to know what I’m talking about because I KNOW I’m not the only one dealing with this. 

Sorry I call BS. You do have a contract, a verbal commitment. It was in your vows. One's word is supposed to mean something.

You mention children and you're willing to risk hurting them and their mother. Don't stay in relationship for "the kids" you're doing them no favors. Do them a favor, get a divorce and play all you want.

 

Off my soapbox now.

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1 hour ago, comfortseeker said:

Sorry I call BS. You do have a contract, a verbal commitment. It was in your vows. One's word is supposed to mean something.

You mention children and you're willing to risk hurting them and their mother. Don't stay in relationship for "the kids" you're doing them no favors. Do them a favor, get a divorce and play all you want.

 

Off my soapbox now.

Yeah.  I hear what you’re saying. There’s unfortunately not an ideal solution here.  Believe me I’ve tried a lot of them. Didn’t just get to this point overnight.  I think we each have to pick a path that we think is best. Each person’s situation is unique.  You can’t really choose the best path for me anymore than I could for you.  Though I am curious as to whether you’ve been married and whether you have kids. 

I respect your thoughts, and honestly you’re not wrong. But that’s about as deep as I’m gonna go on that line of conversation. 

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8 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

I always wonder how new guys seem to know all the terminology...stuff I don't even know as a provider, and then there like any new advise for a Newbie??? Lol. I'm like please...you found your way to this site, know more than I do about the hobby. The dots don't always connect... 🤔

Thank you!

I've often wondered how all the newbies found out about TOB yet have no indication how any of this works... *scratches head*

I can't imagine where TOB advertises that so many newbies pour in every week. LoL!

Edited by Cecilia
oops
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17 hours ago, ilovewomen said:

So you’re saying in the hundreds of women you’ve met, you’ve never once given up one little tiny bit of personal information? You are one in a Million then.  Unless they are all BP or CL ladies who do absolutely no screening at all.

 

Make that 2 in a million. I have been a P411 member for 10 years and never gave them any of my private information. hobby name, hobby phone, and P411 that's it.

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13 hours ago, bmg45 said:

Though I am curious as to whether you’ve been married and whether you have kids.

Yes, married, divorced and brought up 2 children as a single parent. Second wife was ill, stayed by her and took care of her 6+ years until she passed. No intimacy during that period. Was celibate during this because it was in my vows. To me, it's all about the kids. All of my decisions were based on what was on their best interest. 

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21 hours ago, Cecilia said:

Thank you!

I've often wondered how all the newbies found out about TOB yet have no indication how any of this works... *scratches head*

I can't imagine where TOB advertises that so many newbies pour in every week. LoL!

I just don't believe all the guys claiming to be newbies are actually newbies. Sometimes a guy burns through so many providers, and can no longer get the attention he is seeking and creates a new identity to start over. I am NOT referring to the person who started this thread. I do hope it provides some clarity as to why some providers require your personal information though. They don't want to be stuck behind closed doors with an individual like that, and they don't want to give an individual like that there exact location. Not all men have the intention of doing no harm. It's a tricky situation for providers and clients, and luckily we have a place like this where we can do some research and choose who we are willing to take that risk with. 99% of the time it's worth it and rewarding for both individuals from my personal experience. I am skeptical of a couple of the new profiles claiming to be Newbies though. Be safe out there boys and girls. Safety first!

💙 Hunter 

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On Sunday, February 11, 2018 at 2:36 PM, Hunter VanDyke said:

I always wonder how new guys seem to know all the terminology...stuff I don't even know as a provider, and then there like any new advise for a Newbie??? Lol. I'm like please...you found your way to this site, know more than I do about the hobby. The dots don't always connect... 🤔

What she said. B)

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One of the new posters that signed up on Feb. 10 is posting regularly now...his posts are starting to sound like he is a seasoned hobbyist.

Does have to make you wonder.

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So just to get this straight...

”Go read all the previous threads before you ask questions!”

followed by...

”hey, this guy knows all the lingo, he can’t be new!”  

Am I the only one that sees the humor here?  Maybe some of us newbs actually DID do some reading first (gasp!). It’s not like the terminology is that hard to pick up.  

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Dude, don't try getting all logical around here. Scares the shit out of some folks, lol!

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Why would we want logic brought into any discussion?

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Maybe they are all fishing buddies of Fishindude or maybe kids from multiple prior relationships?   But all of a sudden there is a new bunch showing up here.    Jeez it is getting tiring 

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37 minutes ago, petey-9950 said:

Maybe they are all fishing buddies of Fishindude or maybe kids from multiple prior relationships?   But all of a sudden there is a new bunch showing up here.    Jeez it is getting tiring 

Nothing wrong with an influx of new blood..helps to keep the board alive.

Although I have a suspicion one of the newbies is a reincarnate of a recent former board member.

Wish the newbies would take a little time to look at threads before asking “tell me how to do this “.

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6 hours ago, bmg45 said:

So just to get this straight...

”Go read all the previous threads before you ask questions!”

followed by...

”hey, this guy knows all the lingo, he can’t be new!”  

Am I the only one that sees the humor here?  Maybe some of us newbs actually DID do some reading first (gasp!). It’s not like the terminology is that hard to pick up.  

Pummel the newbie is way too popular a sport at times around here.  Humor, you want humor ................ I can think of at least couple ladies that are direly missed in that regard.  Welcome to board by the way, good luck, have fun.

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10 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

 

Although I have a suspicion one of the newbies is a reincarnate of a recent former board member.

 

Say it isn't so!!  Yeah, more than one lately actually, but know what you mean.

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These threads with folks stressed out about not having references and how to get them crack me up a little bit.  The first call I made I was anxious as well, but now that I do have references a healthy percentage of the time I’m not even asked for them. (And that’s even with ads that say “no newbies references absolutely required”).  I’ve guessed it’s how I make contact and what I say, but I’m not sure.  

My advice would be first to get a burner phone.  I like the cheap tracfone smartphone I bought, but there are others.  Register it with a pseudonym someplace with free WiFi and buy minutes cards with cash. They sell them at Walgreens so if you’re away from home they are easy to pick up.  Next, find a local review board if you can or use one of the national ones.  Look for ladies with good reviews and make contact.  Many won’t return messages quickly so I suggest reaching out to several.  You can also look at ads and then try to find reviews for them.  Cross reference emails and phone numbers using google to see if there are reviews on other sites.  

When someone replies, ask about availability and try to set an appointment.  You should have all the info you need from ads and reviews so it should be as simple as time, place and appointment length.  If asked for references, be honest and say it’s your first time and you don’t have any.  I wouldn’t give out personal info or send a photo of ID or anything like that.  Some may be willing to verify you in person and some may not ask at all so just keep keep trying.  

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