Posted January 26, 2018 Ive been on TOB for years and I want to "participate" but I cant seem to bring myself to it. Its fear, illegal, scarry, confusion. most providers seem to reject the idea that I'm afraid and consider it a cop-out. its not. cant a provider trust that I haven't had sex in a decade and don't know how to do it except here? and yet it hasn't happened.... all I want is for it to happen and yet it doesn't and I don't seem to let it. I could move somewhere its legal or something and it still doesn't change, I'm new and now have a few experiences, so I do understand being nervous. So was I. But if I can make a recommendation, find a well reviewed and "newbie friendly" provider and give it a shot. My guess is she'll be more than patient with a new guy once you two are alone. As long as you follow her booking procedures and are willing to go through her screening I suspect you won't have trouble finding someone. I imagine the wonderful ladies we work with have seen this before and know just what to do. I'm a nice guy and I'm losing my mind....thx for listening 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2018 Fear can be overcome. You may want to talk with a close friend, or a therapist. It's going to be up to you, to change your situation. Good luck! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2018 This activity has it's risks. That has been stated here many times. IF your fear is paralyzing, then you must find a way to deal. IMHO if you ever go to an appointment without some nervousness or apprehension, you will likely end up getting careless and into a tough spot. If you just don't partake, you will likely miss a nice experience. Kinda like riding a motorcycle. If you ever get on a bike and aren't just a bit afraid, your are going to get hurt. The first appointment is the toughest. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2018 5 hours ago, PeteSetter said: ive been on TOB for years and I want to "participate" but I cant seem to bring myself to it. Its fear, illegal, scarry, confusion. most providers seem to reject the idea that I'm afraid and consider it a copout. its not. cant a provider trust that I haven't had sex in a decade and don't know how to do it except here? and yet it hasn't happened.... all I want is for it to happen and yet it doesn't and I don't seem to let it. I could move somewhere its legal or something and it still doesn't change I'm a nice guy and I'm losing my mind....thx for listening 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2018 Quote No one says you have to have sex, or do anything else specific during a session. It is about “time and companionship”. If you feel more comfortable with a “talk” meeting, or a “cuddle” meeting, or whatever, try that. ^^^this^^^ you would be surprised how many guys ask for a good ol conversation over a dinner and that’s it. It’s a good ice breaker and it might be just the thing you need to relax and have fun. Its not always about sex. Several years ago a guy contacted me and told me he had lost his wife six months prior. He then went on to explain that he missed having someone else to talk to, and do things with. We never had sex, or any other intimacy. Wasn’t even a date. Just kept him company. He’s a good friend, and I actually introduced him to his new wife. The point is, there aren’t any expectations other than paying for a lady’s time. What you do with your time is up to you. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2018 I agree with Mr. Raindeer (shock) and Melissa, in that you will have fun no matter what. Two of the best dates I have had were just photo sessions, where we went out and took (fully clothed) photos in nature. Didn't get around to having sex, just stopped in for lunch on the way back. Maybe you should start that way, especially as an ice breaker. One thing to keep in mind - don't expect a discount just because you do something other than have sex. You will need to offer the full time-and-companionship donation, even if it is just to go out and shoot pictures or eat lunch. The lady might cut you a break, but don't ask. For example on the photo shoot and lunch date, I only paid for 90 minutes, but we were out for four hours. Just don't expect it. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2018 (edited) 8 hours ago, PeteSetter said: ive been on TOB for years and I want to "participate" but I cant seem to bring myself to it. Its fear, illegal, scarry, confusion. most providers seem to reject the idea that I'm afraid and consider it a copout. its not. cant a provider trust that I haven't had sex in a decade and don't know how to do it except here? and yet it hasn't happened.... all I want is for it to happen and yet it doesn't and I don't seem to let it. I could move somewhere its legal or something and it still doesn't change I'm a nice guy and I'm losing my mind....thx for listening Read the ads and find one of the wonderful Newbie friendly providers and jump in the deep end! When a gentleman is nervous it makes the ladies nervous. We all have so much to lose, just as you gentlemen and it can limit your appointments if not dealt with properly. Best of luck to you! Relax and have fun in this little corner of your life. Edited January 26, 2018 by Laci French 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 26, 2018 9 hours ago, PeteSetter said: ive been on TOB for years and I want to "participate" but I cant seem to bring myself to it. Its fear, illegal, scarry, confusion. most providers seem to reject the idea that I'm afraid and consider it a copout. its not. cant a provider trust that I haven't had sex in a decade and don't know how to do it except here? and yet it hasn't happened.... all I want is for it to happen and yet it doesn't and I don't seem to let it. I could move somewhere its legal or something and it still doesn't change I'm a nice guy and I'm losing my mind....thx for listening My guess is that you have been in contact with the wrong providers. They shouldn't reject the idea that you are afraid. Everyone has their issues. Many, many of these ladies can and will make you feel very comfortable and at ease when they sense your anxiety. A nice little back rub and conversation is probably what you need to get started. Then, whatever happens happens. Perhaps some of us guys and/or gals can PM you with a name or two of ladies that we feel could be a good match for you??? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 2, 2018 On 1/26/2018 at 1:04 PM, Nookiemonster4u said: There are so many wonderful and caring ladies on this site. You are bound to find someone that you will make a connection with, that will put all of your anxiety to rest. Keep posting in these forums and it will let people see who you are....it should help you feel less nervous about this topic. Good luck ...and your in good hands I'm new to the site. How do I ask a question on the forum? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 2, 2018 2 minutes ago, Madog said: I'm new to the site. How do I ask a question on the forum? You just did. I would try asking a new question by starting a new topic. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 2, 2018 shit, or get off the pot. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2018 On 1/26/2018 at 9:19 AM, MrReindeer-9515 said: Try to ignore some of the bravado driven posts above, and try to keep in mind: No one says you have to have sex, or do anything else specific during a session. It is about “time and companionship”. If you feel more comfortable with a “talk” meeting, or a “cuddle” meeting, or whatever, try that. I’ve reviewed your other posts, assuming you’re not just hung up on the screening processes or paying for time without physical intimacy, you will be fine. Good advice. Might even try the idea that @SultryKitten posted on twitter a while back of a "Nap Session". 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2018 I have only been on Tob a short while but in that time I have found almost everyone to be open Friendly and willing to make me happy the only requirement being Safety First 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 21, 2018 The older I get, the more hesitant I am to meet new ladies. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
