Posted January 19, 2018 Hey buds. I was just curious what you thought about heart break because I have been wondering something. Do you think love ever goes away? It has come to my mind that maybe it can change a bit... but I am not sure it's something that ever goes away. I had met this girl two years ago. She was absolutely drop dead gorgeous and a personality that shined brighter than the sun. She was everything I ever wanted like all in one giant package. She came into my life and without writing too much... Because I am famous for writing novels... We fell in love really hard. It was the first time in my life I had fallen in love because of what happened to me years later. I've only been in two real relationships in my life but this one was different in every way. The relationship ended after a year and a half or so... Her boyfriend came back after a long time... and well lets just say got his head out of his ass. She has two great kiddos and he is the father so I didn't know what was going to happen... I won't go into all the details because it's very confusing but in the end she is getting married to him this year. The whole situation had completely devastated me to the point I was having anxiety attacks ( I am already prone to those ) and also I stopped eating and maybe got two hours of sleep every other night or so for a while... It was so bad that I didn't know if my heart could handle it. It would beat funny and I fell into a horrible depression. It was the mot horrible feeling I had ever gone through. I still struggle a little bit these days when I see pictures of her with him and I get super jealous mode going... It's really bad so I ended up getting off of Facebook etc... It was so hard for me. And as much as she hurt me I love that women to the sky and I always will. She messages me every now and then to say hi and she even told me I will always be in her heart etc. She lets me know she thinks about me from time to time but I am really distancing because it would hurt me even more if I hurt her relationship and her kids. I want to respect her family. We still talk to this day but not very much... She knows how bad I felt after it and she felt horrible I could tell. It's just come to my attention I am not too sure love ever goes away. I know there are so many kinds of relationships but when you really love someone do you think that ever goes away? I had given her these bracelets that I always wore that were really special to me and once in a blue moon I see her wearing them. She did tell me that I am the reason why everything is working out with her family now etc etc and I know why... because my whole life this has happened to me. So I have to be very careful and I am learning that for some reason girls run to me for comfort and I fall for it a lot... Then I am usually tossed to the side or used in some way. She did not mean to and I know the feelings were real for her too. I know she didn't mean to do this but it's a pattern I see in my life a lot. I'll never forget when I was 18 (LONG TIME AGO) I had asked this girl out... she said no. I felt terrible but we stayed friends. A week later she had a boyfriend. Used me to see him etc... LOL DON'T ASK. I was young... and of course I helped her out etc.... It was stupid. She suckered me in so bad. Turns out he started beating her and she ended up with two kids. We lost touch... and she got n touch with me last year and asked if I wanted to hang out... (Her bf was a sleazebag obviously) So again it was like lets go to Codeman!! Well I ended up blocking her. I didn't say anything... I wasn't mean... but it means I have learned. Anyway... That was a long time ago. The women I am talking about that I fell in love with... I don't know. I wanted to ask you all if you ever had an experience of really really bad heart break and maybe some of the things you did to get over it? I still think about her all the time. How long does it last? I have seen a girl I know off and on who has been my friend for a while and we have kissed etc and I thought gosh this is just what I need! But it doesn't really help. She is always so busy too... and if I never said hi I would never even hear from her. Does it get better with time?? I'm so thankful she still keeps in touch with me even if it's just to say hi. I will always love her very very much and don't think it'll go away completely but it will get so much easier I know... Anyway let me know what you think! I was just wondering if this is something that any of you have experience with and what the heck I can do to feel better... Other than getting in another relationship. This is why I joined TOB! I am lonely most times... and as I have explained it's already so hard for me to be out in public and meet people etc.... I am just ready to have some fun! I've needed some sugar laid on me for so long now. But I also am HUGE into friendship and actually getting to know people. I love bonding and making new friends. Everybody here has been so cool and nice since I have arrived! Take care and have a beautiful weekend 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 14 minutes ago, Nookiemonster4u said: No .....it never goes away.....not for true love. Yeah that's how I feel about it too 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 You are breaking my heart...<3 Heartbreak takes a toll on your body, your mental health, your emotional abilities and other cognitive parts of your body. It takes an even greater toll on you when you change your entire life to revolve around that person. Sometimes we want to fill the void with cuddles and kisses but sometimes that doesn't help, even in some cases makes it hard to actually heal. There is NO time frame on how long is TOO LONG to feel broken. You will always feel the love for that person no matter how the pieces get put back together. Sending you loving thoughts Dear. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 6 minutes ago, Amber720 said: You are breaking my heart...<3 Heartbreak takes a toll on your body, your mental health, your emotional abilities and other cognitive parts of your body. It takes an even greater toll on you when you change your entire life to revolve around that person. Sometimes we want to fill the void with cuddles and kisses but sometimes that doesn't help, even in some cases makes it hard to actually heal. There is NO time frame on how long is TOO LONG to feel broken. You will always feel the love for that person no matter how the pieces get put back together. Sending you loving thoughts Dear. Thank you so much Amber...... -hugs. You know in a way it almost makes me happy or.... I can't find the right word. It makes me happy that I will always feel that love. It makes me happy she still cares and reaches out sometimes. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 Just now, codeman said: Thank you so much Amber...... -hugs. You know in a way it almost makes me happy or.... I can't find the right word. It makes me happy that I will always feel that love. It makes me happy she still cares and reaches out sometimes. As someone wise once said "Its Better To Love and Lost, Then To NEVER have Loved At All" I think is how it goes. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 1 minute ago, Amber720 said: As someone wise once said "Its Better To Love and Lost, Then To NEVER have Loved At All" I think is how it goes. I think that is what makes me happy is that it's like... We couldn't have even met! But we did... and I am so happy we did kind of thing... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 Let the dead Past bury its dead! Act,— act in the living Present! 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 Fish more. No really whatever your alternative hobby is, throw yourself into it. Keep your feeble male mind (I speak from experience on feeble minds) occupied. It can't erase what once was, but at least it'll keep you busy. This hobby is FUN there's no doubt about it, but when I'm on my boat, in the mountains, on a lake in Kansas, the last thing I think about is "Whoa is Me", or this Hobby, and I have a great time, plus I catch a lot of fish. I never look up talent when I travel. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 33 minutes ago, Nookiemonster4u said: No .....it never goes away.....not for true love. Perhaps I have never experienced "true love," but I would respectfully disagree. I was madly and deeply in love with each of my wives, and when the first one divorced me, I thought I would probably have to just die. I got over it when I fell in love with the second wife, and when we broke up it was even worse, since we were together 10 years and for nine of them I was convinced I had found my true soul-mate. I got over it when I met my third wife, and still love her, and when I think back on the first two, it is now fondly, and I remember only the good times. I recently fell head-over-heels for a lovely provider I met right here, and kidded myself for two years it was more than just a commercial relationship. When she broke off, I again thought that the world would end, but it hasn't, and I am again beginning to think of her fondly and remember the good times. I once read that humans are lucky because we cannot remember actual pain - you can remember that you were in pain, but not the pain itself. It will go away Codeman, it just hurts so much because it is the first time. Once you have your heart broken a half-dozen times, you will get over it faster. In the meantime, I know it hurts, just don't do anything rash. One bit of unsolicited advice: Do not contact her any more, and try to think of other things. Me, when I got dumped by my ATATF I went on a Mar-ho-thon with a half-dozen of the lovely ladies I have met here, which sure made me forget the pain for a while. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 6 minutes ago, BadBoy said: Perhaps I have never experienced "true love," but I would respectfully disagree. I was madly and deeply in love with each of my wives, and when the first one divorced me, I thought I would probably have to just die. I got over it when I fell in love with the second wife, and when we broke up it was even worse, since we were together 10 years and for nine of them I was convinced I had found my true soul-mate. I got over it when I met my third wife, and still love her, and when I think back on the first two, it is now fondly, and I remember only the good times. I recently fell head-over-heels for a lovely provider I met right here, and kidded myself for two years it was more than just a commercial relationship. When she broke off, I again thought that the world would end, but it hasn't, and I am again beginning to think of her fondly and remember the good times. I once read that humans are lucky because we cannot remember actual pain - you can remember that you were in pain, but not the pain itself. It will go away Codeman, it just hurts so much because it is the first time. Once you have your heart broken a half-dozen times, you will get over it faster. In the meantime, I know it hurts, just don't do anything rash. One bit of unsolicited advice: Do not contact her any more, and try to think of other things. Me, when I got dumped by my ATATF I went on a Mar-ho-thon with a half-dozen of the lovely ladies I have met here, which sure made me forget the pain for a while. 7 Very good way to put things Bad Boy!! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 (edited) Badboy very well said! That's the hardest part is not contacting her... I haven't been able to do that. She still makes me smile all the time. Sometimes it makes me so mad because it's just such bullshit that such a beautiful thing can be so confusing and then stuff like this happens. It just stinks. It's gotten better since no more facebook... Seeing her with him made me wanna hulk smash my computer all the time. So I was finally like whelp... this is not healthy. Now it's been much easier. I think facebook really messed my head up over the years Fish - My Grandpa loved fishing... He would take trips to Alaska and catch the biggest fish I ever seen in my life! Edited January 19, 2018 by codeman 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 Was married for 50 years loved every minute of it when she left this Earth my heart was broken still think about her everyday cherish the time you had and remember all of those good things 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2018 (edited) And the craziest part is I am the kind of guy where I think I do better off single and just have many relationships of different kinds. For example... If he knew about me and they were with eachother... But I could share my love with her too... while he still knew about it... and there ws no jealousy on either side it would be absolutely fine... It wouldn't bother me one bit. Like if in this world everybody just was able to love whoever they wanted... Idk if that makes sense but I wish life was more like that sometimes. No limitations... I can't tell you how many times I have met a women where I thought it would really kick off and then BOOM. Nope she has a bf or married... and I am like... :/ Edited January 19, 2018 by codeman 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 20, 2018 5 hours ago, codeman said: I know there are so many kinds of relationships but when you really love someone do you think that ever goes away? Strictly my experience/opinion: Often times one falls in love with who they THINK the other person is and rush into serious things way too fast. Much later when they realize who the other person really is behind the facade, THAT person they do not love. Sadly they still DO love the person they THOUGHT the other was in the beginning. And proceed to engage in the macabre dance that may last years of holding on wishing desperately that the imaginary person comes back, and of course that will never happen. Best to move on at top speed. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 20, 2018 7 hours ago, Amber720 said: You are breaking my heart...<3 Heartbreak takes a toll on your body, your mental health, your emotional abilities and other cognitive parts of your body. It takes an even greater toll on you when you change your entire life to revolve around that person. Sometimes we want to fill the void with cuddles and kisses but sometimes that doesn't help, even in some cases makes it hard to actually heal. There is NO time frame on how long is TOO LONG to feel broken. You will always feel the love for that person no matter how the pieces get put back together. Sending you loving thoughts Dear. Upset I can't give you points Amber! You by far so sweet and wise beyond your years. 😘😘 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 20, 2018 15 hours ago, gr8owl said: Strictly my experience/opinion: Often times one falls in love with who they THINK the other person is and rush into serious things way too fast. Much later when they realize who the other person really is behind the facade, THAT person they do not love. Sadly they still DO love the person they THOUGHT the other was in the beginning. And proceed to engage in the macabre dance that may last years of holding on wishing desperately that the imaginary person comes back, and of course that will never happen. Best to move on at top speed. WOW, so wise, so true. You really are a wise old owl. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 20, 2018 20 hours ago, Mr.Pink said: Let the dead Past bury its dead! Act,— act in the living Present! I love this! Live in the moment and move forward. Life is a beautiful adventure and you must life it fully. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 21, 2018 If you go all Byron, Shelly and Keats on life, you're going to spend a lot of time trying to force events into very distorted expectation for the future that in reality will always fail to measure up. If you don't lean let go of most stuff in life and live in the immediate present, You're going to be lugging one hell of a load by the end. Plus, you'll miss a whole lota "now" in the process. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
