Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Bit Banger

Physical vs. Verbal

8 posts in this topic

(To avoid drift in another thread)

Background -

MePlease, do not conflate verbal abuse and slander with physical violence. Doing so perverts our justice system and detracts from the basic message. 

Kali: I am sorry but I  DON'T understand. To me mental and emotional violence hurts more than physical violence. Due to bruises, bones, blood eventually heals. Yet, verbal or mental (all that goes unnoticed swept under the carpet) can sting a lifetime causing P.D.S.T. 

----------

With physical violence:

  • There is usually physical evidence that damage has been done. 
  • The damage is clear to an outside observer.
  • The perpetrator is well aware they are causing damage.

With a verbal exchange (or non-violent contact):

  • There is seldom evidence of any damage, sometimes not even of the exchange.
  • A 3rd party observer can easily misinterpret the interaction between perpetrator and other participants. It may be consensual.
  • The perpetrator (or the "victim") may not recognize they are doing harming. The situation may lack negative feedback.
  • The "damage" may not surface for years. It may be the culmination of many exchanges, not all with the same perpetrator. 
  • It's very difficult to quantify the damage and blame to assign retribution. 

Our justice systems tend to deal with hard evidence; not so well with intangibles. In the US court system the mantra is "innocent until proven guilty." In the social environment & media it seems to be the opposite, guilty unless proven innocent. And not to be too sexist, but it's usually the male who's blamed.

I understand the lingering effects of trauma.  My experiences in 'Nam and particularly with an abusive spouse still trigger sleepless nights 40-50 years later.

I'm all for adjusting our mores and moving forward to a gentle, polite society.  But we need to be very careful when balancing crime & punishment relationships.  (Look at the War on Drugs for an example of how not to do things.) I'm not willing to throw our legal system on the trash heap to "solve" the problem. IMHO that would do more harm than good.  Trying to use these new standards to judge past behavior is wrong (ex post facto).

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

 

Our justice systems tend to deal with hard evidence; not so well with intangibles. In the US court system the mantra is "innocent until proven guilty." In the social environment & media it seems to be the opposite, guilty unless proven innocent. And not to be too sexist, but it's usually the male who's blamed.

 

Doesn't even matter.  Enough people either don't pay attention or can't/won't believe the it when the truth comes out, they still blame.  

Your example abounds when an accused rapist shows text messages for example clearly showing everything was consensual, but you still get the SJWs trying to crucify him.

Even my mental tally of hate crimes show that most hate crimes are committed by the so called victim rather than roving bands of white supremacists/nazis/whatevers by about 2 to 1.  Especially on college campuses and the like.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bit yes I know you are a vet. I never knew about your violent life with your ex wife. Oh and yes husbands can be abused too! I have a close male friend who was abused for over 30 years too by his ex wife. People really don't get it!  AND yes you are also right with how backwards the system works. Forgive me for misunderstanding your words. The older I get the less political I am becoming. Politics is not a good subject for me at all. I can see issues from all angles some times and that in it's self becomes like the Occult-more confusing within it's self (Occult= that which is hidden).

However this website is about supporting and promoting the rights of sex works and their ability to continue practice free speech. Also, because we all pretisapate on some level. I was impressed and found total validation with Lucy Kitten's post. Just sad I did not see it on last Sunday when it was the 17th.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

I am sorry but I  DON'T understand. To me mental and emotional violence hurts more than physical violence. Due to bruises, bones, blood eventually heals. Yet, verbal or mental (all that goes unnoticed swept under the carpet) can sting a lifetime causing P.D.S.T. 

Just like our military Vets Bit!!

As a vet I AGREE! I still remember being cursed with my wife at the airport when I returned fron Nam.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, I get that there are real predators out there and that sexual workers need a fair shake when it comes to assault. I would also like to see sex work decriminalized, for many reasons. 

But with DOEd's "Dear Colleague" letter and #MeTo[sic] the pendulum has swung so far that I'm almost afraid to buy a lady a drink or ask her out for a date. I'd need a signed consent form before asking her up for coffee. I'm sure many other gentlemen feel the same way. It puts a real damper on forming interpersonal relationships. At least with escorts, if you're a gentleman with reasonable expectations, the deal is usually clear. (Thank you, ladies.)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Knowing the demeanor of the lady you are speaking with does make a difference.  My parents are from a different generation and yes I am not appropriate and no I don't always get it right. Thinking also it's got to be very difficult being a man and just not knowing what is safe to talk  about? You know especially with political silly crap going on.  and yes, with us (escort) ladies you are safe  to be yourself with the ladies you know. I am 52 years old and have been in and out of this world a couple of times.Sometimes I feel odd! Haha then I get a call. The human pendulum is a very interesting subject indeed! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

not always appropriate, but it is human to error.  I do it often and will be the first to admit it. 

When talking about the "Human Pendulum" you have me thinking about a book from Samael Anu Weor, " The Great Rebellion" It's been a long time since I have thought about his books. :) The Gnostic thinking is very interesting! 

Edited by Kali Sensual Reiki
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0