Mustang87

So this happened

23 posts in this topic

There was a visiting lady in town this past week through this weekend that I was hoping to see.  She is a very well-reviewed lady who visits Denver on a fairly regular basis.  I had time Friday morning and hoped to see her then.  This past Wednesday morning I shared my references with her through TOB, where she has been posting her ads on a regular basis. I then send her a text, the method of communication she requests in her ad, from my hobby phone, mentioning my TOB handle, and saying I would like to schedule with her for Friday morning.  I get no response.  The next morning, Thursday, I send her a text from my personal cell (I know) saying I would like to see her Friday morning, but give no other information.  She writes back any says what time?  I say 10 or 11 am.  She writes back and says 10 am is great.  I respond and ask is there any information she would like about me (besides having my personal cell phone number). I also mention that I'm coming from Colorado Springs and ask what part of Denver she is in so I know what time I need to leave Friday morning.  Depending where in Denver I'm going, the drive can take me anywhere from 50 minutes to and hour and a half.  No response.  I want until Thursday afternoon and ask her to confirm we are on for the next morning, Friday, and ask again what part of town she is in.  No response.  Thursday night I ask again if we are still on, and say that if Friday morning does not work, I can make it Saturday morning if that is better for her.  She responds and asks what time Saturday morning.  I say 9 am, and she responds that 9 am Saturday is great. I still have the issue of not knowing what past of Denver she is in and my appointment is now an hour earlier.  I decide to let that go, and just drive to Denver real early Saturday morning, be in town by 8, then text her and tell her I am in town and where it is I should head to by 9.  Friday evening around 8 I send her a text and say I am excited to see her tomorrow morning at 9. She writes back and says she is excited to see me to.  She then asks me to PM her. This is the first effort to screen me.  I log onto TOB and PM her and mentionin I am excited to see her tomorrow morning. I waited a few minutes and then look at my profile and see that she had just viewed it.  Remember that I texted her from my hobby phone Wednesday morning, telling her my handle, and she never responded.  I wait a few more minutes asking if she got my PM and if we are good for the next morning.  No response.  I wait about a half hour and look at her profile on TOB and see that she was just on there.  Her ad has also recently reposted, although that is set on auto for all I know. I ask her again is we are OK for tomorrow morning.  It is now about 2 hours after she asked me PM her.  It is around 10 PM Friday night and I have to leave for Denver by 7 at the latest to be in town by 8.  I'm thinking that there must be something about my profile or my references that turned her off.  I make the rash decision to pull the plug.  I don't get the opportunity to hobby in Denver very often and hate to waste this one.  I'm aware that there is another traveling lady in Denver that I have seen in the past.  I send her a message and have confirmation that we are set for Saturday morning in about 15 minutes.  I go to bed about 11 still with no response from the first lady confirming out appointment in the morning.  I send her a text, telling her I'm sorry that it didn't work out,  saying I assume there is some reason she decided not to see me and saying I hope to see her in the future.  I wake up at 7 and see that I received a text from the first lady at 1:07 in the morning, saying that she was not standing me up, apologizing for not getting back to me, explaining that she had been very busy and asking if I would like a double with the YL she was traveling with. (I assume at full price but that is not relevant).  I write back saying that it is me who should apologize, but when I didn't get a response after she asked me to PM her I assumed something was wrong and that I had made other plans for the day.  I did no tell her what other plans I had made.  She has not responded as of this writing and I'm sure she won't at this point.  I did follow through with the other appointment and had a great time. 

Now with all of that said I feel awful about cancelling the first appointment just because I didn't hear back from her. By all indications she is a very reputable lady with a great reputation on here. She had already received reviews on her from this visit. I did it because it was late, I wanted to get to bed because I had to get up early and because I assumed something had turner her off about me because she didn't respond for 5 hours after asking me to PM her.  I also didn't want to waste the window I had Saturday morning to hobby.

Please let me know what you think.  Should I have rolled the dice and just assumed everything was all set (which apparently it was), or was I justified in pulling the plug and making other plans?

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I would have handled it exactly the same way you did. You gave ample opportunity for response. We all get busy.... When I know that I have a confirmed time with someone that has passed screening (shared references etc.), that takes precedence. 

It sounds like you will get to see her on the next visit, and you still got to see someone, so it all ended well.

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You handled it precisely as I would have, except I would have pulled the plug on #1 quite a bit sooner.  With all due respect to the wonderful ladies, it has been my observation that communication is not always a strong point.  I don't want to start and adversarial thread here where the ladies respond that they have other lives, etc., we all understand that.  On the other hand, if you are running a personal services business, you need to have at least a modicrum of interest in communicating with potential clients, and that modicrum of interest is not always present (see the OP).  No offense intended ladies, many of you are great, but you gotta know that some of your sisters just don't communicate well.  By communicating well, I don't mean instant response, but if you don't hear from someone for two hours or so, and time is getting short, you gotta move on.

There isn't much to be done about it, just accept that fact that some ladies may be beautiful and charming and fun, but really lousy at communication, and if someone doesn't respond in a civilized amount of time, just politely move on.  I think I had exactly the same experience with the same YL last time she was through (the offer of the two ladies is the tip off), and I finally had to text her: "I didn't hear from you, so I made other plans."  Maybe, just maybe, if she gets enough of those and realizes she is losing business, she will be a bit more responsive.

Again, ladies, if you are good communicators, thank you so much, we are not talking about you.

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Communication these days seems to be a lost art or maybe it's that some people just don't care

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there is no excuses these days not being able to communicate with all the technology we have. if you wonder why your slow then think about how you handle business.

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I guess at the end of the day it did come down to a communication issue.  But when I pulled the plug late Friday when she didn't respond after asking me to PM her, I was operating under the assumption that she had found something objectionable in my profile or with my references.  She had told me she was looking forward to seeing me right before asking for the PM, then went silent.  That was what threw me. I've never had an issue with my references before and would hate to think there was something in there that would chase away a YL. 

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Yeah, you did right to cancel. Flaky people are hard to deal with. I wouldn't drive 60-90 minutes on a hope. 

I'm sure I'm on a black list somewhere. Bout a month back I texted a girl to see if she was hosting. No reply, moved on with my day. 3 hours later she responded 'yes, such and such spot, at this time.' I didn't see it cause i moved on with my day. An hour after her listed time, she texts asking why I no showed. Like, um, we didn't have an appointment? Shit's just been weird lately. 

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I've had this very problem lately with a couple ladies from TOB. It's confusing and irritating at the same time. I too understand that you ladies have a life, and sometimes that life is separate from the hobby, but if you're expecting to run a business, and this is a business, then please learn some customer service skills. I've completely given up on a couple ladies, one in particular I really wanted to see, because of poor communication skills. It's very frustrating at best. 

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I'm curious please to age bracket. I've only ever had this happen once because she overslept. I saw her the next day but only after a tongue lashing about how I'd prolly write a bad review (you'd have to harm or rob me) for that to ever happen. Won't ever see her again because after following her, why? I don't need the stress or brain damage. 

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A perfect example of why I don’t text! Communication is key! If you have to cancel, you better contact the person at every level. Email, phone, Pm, text or smoke signal. If the person doesn’t respond to your notice then repeat the process. 

Example: Had a date schedule in Denver on Friday. I had emailed him to Confirm. No response, so I thought well he works late, I’ll just get there early. Had visited multiple times and never had a problem.Got there, still no response so I called...no answer and no voicemail was set up. 2 min later I got an email saying, I emailed you last night canceling. NO YA DIDN’T. If you had, I would have responded. He could have pm’d, called, or sent smoke signals...he didn’t do any of those things. 

Youd think that with so many girls black listing for this type of thing, guys would be more diligent. I did not blacklist the guy for this. I reserve those for the truly deplorable offenses such as violence or ripping me off. 

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2 hours ago, Juanmotai said:

I've had this very problem lately with a couple ladies from TOB. It's confusing and irritating at the same time. I too understand that you ladies have a life, and sometimes that life is separate from the hobby, but if you're expecting to run a business, and this is a business, then please learn some customer service skills. I've completely given up on a couple ladies, one in particular I really wanted to see, because of poor communication skills. It's very frustrating at best. 

I do expect to run a business, and do fairly well. 

If I am on family time and Being present in the moment, I turn off not only my business phone, but personal as well, and PC. So guys that send a request to meet in an hour, may be disappointed by no response. Sorry :-(  I need a day off every once in awhile.

The issue here, is that the lady said 10am would be ok, but then did not follow up with giving the location and confirmation. That is not good and about as frustrating as us saying yep 10am is good, then crickets. 

Pre-booking ahead is king and generally allows time to respond, such as the OP was trying to do. 

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35 minutes ago, Audrey Astor said:

I do expect to run a business, and do fairly well. 

If I am on family time and Being present in the moment, I turn off not only my business phone, but personal as well, and PC. So guys that send a request to meet in an hour, may be disappointed by no response. Sorry :-(  I need a day off every once in awhile.

The issue here, is that the lady said 10am would be ok, but then did not follow up with giving the location and confirmation. That is not good and about as frustrating as us saying yep 10am is good, then crickets. 

Pre-booking ahead is king and generally allows time to respond, such as the OP was trying to do. 

Yes, I was talking about pre-booked meetings. I always try to schedule in advance if possible and would never talk down a young lady for not responding to spur if the moment requests. I have pre-booked several times only to have the young lady go MIA on me, then text me after the fact asking if I still want to see her. It's frustrating. I have limited hobby time and days, so when I get stood up after making an appointment, it sucks. 

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One thing I'll mention is...technology is wonderful, but not 100% dependable. I book several customers per week via email, text, and phone. Until it's confirmed by both parties, it's not an appointment. However, I've had emails, and texts, be delayed, or lost. If you can confirm by phone, that's, by far, the best option. 

Let's not be too hard on either the ladies, or the gents. :)

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13 hours ago, Juanmotai said:

Yes, I was talking about pre-booked meetings. I always try to schedule in advance if possible and would never talk down a young lady for not responding to spur if the moment requests. I have pre-booked several times only to have the young lady go MIA on me, then text me after the fact asking if I still want to see her. It's frustrating. I have limited hobby time and days, so when I get stood up after making an appointment, it sucks. 

That is so lame. I’m sorry dear. It’s a real disappointment to be stood up and disrespected like that. I had a guy cancel 15 mins before our time last week as I was standing there in heels and garters. Grrrr. Hopefully that does not happen to you again. We get to do it all of the time, but it’s usually a special event for y’all.:-(

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15 hours ago, Audrey Astor said:

I do expect to run a business, and do fairly well. 

If I am on family time and Being present in the moment, I turn off not only my business phone, but personal as well, and PC. So guys that send a request to meet in an hour, may be disappointed by no response. Sorry :-(  I need a day off every once in awhile.

The issue here, is that the lady said 10am would be ok, but then did not follow up with giving the location and confirmation. That is not good and about as frustrating as us saying yep 10am is good, then crickets. 

Pre-booking ahead is king and generally allows time to respond, such as the OP was trying to do. 

   Its understandable about having a day off,being with family , a day job or a client.  But you hit the problem on the head.....She didn't follow up with location and confirmation .  He did the right thing .  She lost out by not taking a minute to let him know.

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It was actually me who cancelled when she didn't confirm the night before after asking for screening information.  If I had just rolled the dice and went to bed it sounds like it might have worked out as planned for me in the morning.  But since I don't get the opportunity to hobby in Denver very often I didn't want to take that chance.  I now imagine she thought we were all set, and probable feels I was not justified in cancelling, and I do feel a little bit bad about it based on what I know not.  I've not had any contact with her since, but I will try and see her when she is in town again.

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It sounds like you reacted and handled this situation in an appropriate manner.

Communication is key between people.

Hopefully she understood why you didn’t follow through with the appointment and went somewhere else.

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Mustang, 

Just had the same situation happen to me. Even on second try, then she was disappointed when I canceled.

She just needs to acknowledge requests and conformations.

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4 hours ago, Mustang87 said:

It was actually me who cancelled when she didn't confirm the night before after asking for screening information.  If I had just rolled the dice and went to bed it sounds like it might have worked out as planned for me in the morning.  But since I don't get the opportunity to hobby in Denver very often I didn't want to take that chance.  I now imagine she thought we were all set, and probable feels I was not justified in cancelling, and I do feel a little bit bad about it based on what I know not.  I've not had any contact with her since, but I will try and see her when she is in town again.

I don't think you did anything wrong, she took more time than you had to make sure you got scheduled for your trip. it's hard to point a finger at you or her, it just didn't workout.

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I know who you're talking about, because I just had the almost exact same experience with her a few days ago, except our meeting actually happened. But it was the same lack of communication, the same "PM me" after days of no communication, and no mention of checking my P411 profile like I asked. Also, she got our appointment time wrong, despite my initial P411 request with the time, and my check-in text an hour before our meeting time to confirm. It ended up working out, despite the mix-up on the meeting time. The session was wonderful, but I was nervous all the way up until I walked in the door, because of the spotty communication.

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On 12/12/2017 at 4:23 PM, Archetype said:

I know who you're talking about, because I just had the almost exact same experience with her a few days ago, except our meeting actually happened. But it was the same lack of communication, the same "PM me" after days of no communication, and no mention of checking my P411 profile like I asked. Also, she got our appointment time wrong, despite my initial P411 request with the time, and my check-in text an hour before our meeting time to confirm. It ended up working out, despite the mix-up on the meeting time. The session was wonderful, but I was nervous all the way up until I walked in the door, because of the spotty communication.

How do you recommend booking with her the next time she is in town, assuming we are talking about the same YL?  Do I just prebook and hope it works out despite no confirmation?  I hate to roll those dice when I'm making the drive up.  Or do I book and keep bugging her to comfirm?  I really hate to be seen as bugging a YL.  I was considering not pre-booking, just contacting her about 2-3 hours before I want to see her. Making contact and jumping in the car.  I know you don't have the answer. Just wondering on what ideas might be out there.  I do really want to see her next time in town. 

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She has not been back in the area since but I suspect that once she is back I will again attempt to book. But I won't make the drive up to Denver without a firm confirmation. 

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You did the right thing. For various reasons we ladies can be flaky about the phone.  If her communication level was not par for you, then make other plans and tell her that (since you want to see her) you require a complete confirmation from her in order to see her. She will either comply or not. It is that simple.

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