Gemma Chang

Getting Stood Up

26 posts in this topic

I agree. In a different context but I understand how frustrating it feels to have your time wasted and disrespected by grown adults. I have burned bridges over this type of thing

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If I stood someone up, I'd expect a bad write-up on the verifyhim / badclientlist type sites. I'd also expect it to be harder to book other girls. Lastly, I'd expect her to be angry, and vengeful.

It's very disrespectful, whether you're provider, or a client. 

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Unfortunately sometimes providers get very nervous when other girls will not give a client reference. Especially with all the recently stings that has taken place. Girls get nervous. Would rather call it quits than take a chance. 

I have been known to back out an appointment if I'm nervous. But don't pull NCNS. Because that's just rude. I will tell the guy why. Hope that he understands my reasons. so I don't leave him hanging. 

Its better than taking a risk and find yourself in jail. 

Edited by Nikki Holiday
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10 hours ago, Nikki Holiday said:

Unfortunately sometimes providers get very nervous when other girls will not give a client reference. Especially with all the recently stings that has taken place. Girls get nervous. Would rather call it quits than take a chance. 

I have been known to back out an appointment if I'm nervous. But don't pull NCNS. Because that's just rude. I will tell the guy why. Hope that he understands my reasons. so I don't leave him hanging. 

Its better than taking a risk and find yourself in jail

Could not agree more, but you did the right think and canceled. I once had a lady that I was scheduled with call me up and cancel because she said she had thought about something I had said to her on the phone and it was making her uncomfortable. I told her I understood, and have actually seen her since. But this is a big difference from scheduling something and just not showing up and not communication. Cancelling for almost any reason is OK, NCNS is not, but as we all know, on both sides, it is a part of this business. 

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There's a lot of crazy disrespectful behavior going on right now Gemma. I'm sorry that happened. I do hope you report it. Who the hell would stand YOU up? This is their loss for sure.

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1 hour ago, Audrey Astor said:

There's a lot of crazy disrespectful behavior going on right now Gemma. I'm sorry that happened. I do hope you report it. Who the hell would stand YOU up? This is their loss for sure.

It was me who stood someone up last night. He had 3 references. He was very nice to me. Very polite. Total gentleman. Not sure if it's same guy who made this post. But not one the of the 3 girls got back to me for two whole days. I sent him msg I'm sorry not one girl would get back to me. I can't see him.  Finally someone cleared him, after I canceled on him few hrs before hand. It ruined both our night! I didn't pull a NCNS. I was straight up and honest. 

I understand his frustration. 😘

Edited by Nikki Holiday
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This guy didn't respond until an hour and a half after our appointment and I was already home. At least he did apologize. He wants to try again tonight, but keeps avoiding the question of whether or not to meet in the lobby or elsewhere or if he wants me to come to his room. I don't think it's worth it. I feel like if I went there again, he'd probably NCNS again. 

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20 hours ago, Gemma Chang said:

It's a shame people find it okay to just waste another's time..

I know dear!  It (sadly) happens. Last Sunday, I got stood up by a gal whom I really love seeing. I am not going to mention any names because she is a total sweetheart! But stuff happens and, I do enjoy her so I didn't' make a deal of it! The best I can offer is, look past it, make a note of him! Sometimes I wish the ladies could post reviews!

 

Best regards,

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2 hours ago, Gemma Chang said:

........ He wants to try again tonight, but keeps avoiding the question of whether or not to meet in the lobby or elsewhere or if he wants me to come to his room........

This statement....if true.....is very disturbing.  Agreeing on some means of meeting is a key factor in this business. The guy sounds like a game player.

My dear Miss Gemma, we have a saying in "The Hobby":    "Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me."

Based on your quote above, I suggest you tell the guy to go pound a bucket of gravel up his ass.

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1 hour ago, a_happycamper_12 said:

I know dear!  It (sadly) happens. Last Sunday, I got stood up by a gal whom I really love seeing. I am not going to mention any names because she is a total sweetheart! But stuff happens and, I do enjoy her so I didn't' make a deal of it! The best I can offer is, look past it, make a note of him! Sometimes I wish the ladies could post reviews!

 

Best regards,

Gemma I would block the guy's #. It is a pain when people do not respect each others time from both sides. I was also stood up by a provider 4 days ago that I had seen twice and reviewed. In this case people have bad days, I guess,  but I wasted an afternoon. I think it is a current problem in the society in the US. People have forgotten to respect and be truthful each other.

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5 hours ago, Yorick said:

This statement....if true.....is very disturbing.  Agreeing on some means of meeting is a key factor in this business. The guy sounds like a game player.

My dear Miss Gemma, we have a saying in "The Hobby":    "Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me."

Based on your quote above, I suggest you tell the guy to go pound a bucket of gravel up his ass.

I canceled. Said I had a family emergency and couldn't make it tonight (he leaves town tomorrow morning). He gave me the room number after I expressed my hesitance to come back to try again due to his reluctance to express the location, but it was just the number, no apologies or words of affirmation that he wasn't a weirdo. 

I could've given him an earful about respect and professionalism, but I didn't find it worth it. Especially because out of town clients will rarely ever repeat. 

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Only one TOB girl played a NCNS on me and never explained why.Still have the emails that she confirmed on.

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1 hour ago, JRWolfe said:

Only one TOB girl played a NCNS on me and never explained why.Still have the emails that she confirmed on.

Everyone knows this story! It was me... for a photo shoot... it was many years ago. After you publicly humiliated me.... I never pulled a NCNS since. Whatever the reason was doesn't matter anymore. I'm not interested in holding onto longtime grudges anymore. I'm choosing to live a better life the best I can. The only thing I ever asked was that you not book me. that would be a complete nightmare. Especially since you mentioned your not far from me. 

With your public humiliation, I thank you! All it did was make me much better and more efficient provider. 

Edited by Nikki Holiday
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6 hours ago, JRWolfe said:

Only one TOB girl played a NCNS on me and never explained why.Still have the emails that she confirmed on.

 

4 hours ago, Nikki Holiday said:

... With your public humiliation, I thank you! All it did was make me much better and more efficient provider. 

1) JR appeared to be making a general comment. He did NOT identify anyone in this thread. 

2) Reviews can be a feedback mechanism for improving the quality of the service provided. 

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Sorry Gemma. In this business, with the level of intimacy involved, respect can be even more important than in "normal" life.  Some people just don't know how to respect others and since this industry is unregulated, see it as a place where they can treat people badly.

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1 hour ago, Bit Banger said:

 

1) JR appeared to be making a general comment. He did NOT identify anyone in this thread. 

2) Reviews can be a feedback mechanism for improving the quality of the service provided. 

It was a photo shoot session. It was not for companionship. Not sure where you review that. 

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42 minutes ago, Nikki Holiday said:

It was a photo shoot session. It was not for companionship. Not sure where you review that. 

I was using the term "review" in a more generic sense. When I was performing code reviews, we not only improved the quality of the specific product being reviewed, but also future code from the team because we often pointed out idiomatic mistakes, patterns of errors to watch out for earlier in the process. 

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10 hours ago, Gemma Chang said:

I canceled. Said I had a family emergency and couldn't make it tonight (he leaves town tomorrow morning). He gave me the room number after I expressed my hesitance to come back to try again due to his reluctance to express the location, but it was just the number, no apologies or words of affirmation that he wasn't a weirdo. 

I could've given him an earful about respect and professionalism, but I didn't find it worth it. Especially because out of town clients will rarely ever repeat. 

I would make sure you write your experience on the providers' areas on various boards so other ladies are aware of his behavior. It might have just been an off night, but it is better to adhere on the side of caution than to get burned. Also, did you screen him thoroughly beforehand? If so, did nothing show up? It doesn't seem like this was his first rodeo.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

Edited by SultryKitten
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1 hour ago, SultryKitten said:

 Also, did you screen him thoroughly beforehand? If so, did nothing show up? It doesn't seem like this was his first rodeo.

 

I screened him via references. He found me on TER and I combed through his profile on there as well. I guess I didn't check for any complaints on him because I'm not sure where to do so. I'd certainly warn others, but where am I to do that?

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29 minutes ago, Gemma Chang said:

I screened him via references. He found me on TER and I combed through his profile on there as well. I guess I didn't check for any complaints on him because I'm not sure where to do so. I'd certainly warn others, but where am I to do that?

I PM'd you! :)

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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I got stood up for a real life date twice in the past 7 days. Made me feel like total crap. I'm sorry you are dealing with the flakes right now, they seem to be particularly bad here :/

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Years ago before the internet and we had the Rocky Mountain Oyster, a couple ladies I met through there, I wish they had stood me up after I met them. Bad experiences.

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It seems like these sort of transgressions are on the rise in recent months, and parties on both sides seem to be equally guilty. I too have been on the short end of the stick a couple of occasions recently. I guess I've been spoiled by some of the wonderful ladies on here. It's times like these when it makes me appreciate those I know and trust.

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16 hours ago, TrystinTrimble said:

I got stood up for a real life date twice in the past 7 days. Made me feel like total crap. I'm sorry you are dealing with the flakes right now, they seem to be particularly bad here :/

First, I am sorry this happened - you are a sweetheart and they are missing out - fools. 

On the other hand, I see a trend developing on the board to blame the location (i.e. Denver) as in "...particularly bad here..." when I think the trend is actually just that people are becoming much more coarse and inconsiderate "lately."  In other words, I think the nasty trend is not confined to Denver, but is more a recent nationwide development.  I have RW clients in my business acting like coarse slobs recently, and I think it is a general societal trend that people are just coarser and more inconsiderate.  I have my theories on why, which bring in both the current state of technology (such as social media that allows bad behavior without consequences) and the examples set at the top (and not just Trump) that encourage selfish, boorish behavior.

I think that all we can do is to refuse to participate, keep up our manners and standards, and set good examples.  For example, if we really hate it when a provider/client cancels on us, take it to heart and remember how it feels if we are tempted to cancel at the last minute or NCNS, and then just don't do it.

We clients have an outlet: reviews.  I hope that you ladies have some way of inflicting consequences on guys who disrespect your time, they deserve it.

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