Laci French

If sexual styles are just completely different...

46 posts in this topic

I've run into this situation a couple of times recently and would like some feedback on how best to handle the situation.  Sexual styles were not compatible and without the "connection" it can often times feel mechanical.  What would you gentlemen like for us ladies to do if we feel this during the encounter?

My responses were to ask him to leave before anything got started (with the full envelope) and the other to switch things up from FS appt to another option.

When would you like this to be brought up..if at all?  How do you handle the situation if activities have already started? 

 

 

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with out hurting someones feeling? tough question, hmmmm, just tell me before hand so i can save my money, now if its during the session just continue the session and be polite as posibble, if you have to be mechanical about it then so be it.

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Stevie, I'll give you negative shade for that reply tomorrow. I's do it today, but I already gave that to Mr Punk.

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Wow.  I thought his response was spot on.  I definitely don't want to be with a lady who dislikes my company!  Nip that sucker in the bud and send me home.  

Laci....that would be tough.  I know a lot of us guys are already nervous enough about meeting high standards.  To tell us we have been found wanting would be the hardest part of your job.

But you have to do what you have to do.  Your body...your time...your right.

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My opinion (worth what you paid for it).

Bring it up as soon as you realize it's an issue. No matter what, you're probably going to hurt his feelings. Maybe...give him the choice of leaving with the dough, or switching things up.

I realize you can't predict incompatibility over the phone, every time. It sucks for both parties.

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Sexual styles are completely different?  How so?  He's wants BDSM (top|bottom) and you're offering FBSM?

My sexual style varies across a wide range of options. Sometimes it varies at my whim. Sometimes it varies based on what my partner needs & desires. As the Mounds commercial says, "Sometimes I feel like a nut; Sometimes I don't."

So if something is bothering you, mention it. We can talk about it. Perhaps we can find a happy medium that satisfies both our desires. Who knows? I might even appreciate your style more than the script in my head. (Yes, I usually have a plan in my head, but an old military adage is, "No plan survives contact with the enemy.")

If we can't find something pleasing to both of us, and what I want doesn't squick you, please, bare with me even if you feel mechanical.  If it does, then let's part friends - no harm, no foul. It isn't the end of the world  

Afterall, some of us are tri-sexual. We don't know if we like something until we've tried it thrice. 😜

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Switch it up, take control in a sensual way. If that doesn’t work, then do as Bit suggests...a lot of people get too wrapped up in expectation and don’t say anything. Communication is key. 

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What if maybe Laci is talking about when activities start, the guy just lays there and makes no effort at all?  It would be like interacting with a log or stick of wood.

Or the guy has absolutely no personality at all?

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14 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

What if maybe Laci is talking about when activities start, the guy just lays there and makes no effort at all?  It would be like interacting with a log or stick of wood.

Or the guy has absolutely no personality at all?

Unfortunately this does happen (thank gosh not often). I chalk it up to being shy, nervous or feel shame for being there. We do like to have some feedback: oooooh ahhhhh, right there, that feels good. etc. I think the guys like that too. I generally ask, are you ok, do you want something different, am I hurting you, and they usually say, "oh no, everything is great", which just leads to a ho hum hour. As they get more comfortable, they usually start to loosen up a bit. So, I guess we are back at the original Op... Do we say, "this is not going to work out for me", and give back the envelope? I've never done that so far, as I figure it may draw the gentleman even further into his shell. 

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8 hours ago, Melissa Sterling said:

...a lot of people get too wrapped up in expectation and don’t say anything. Communication is key. 

Both parties may have expectations. And both sides may have "meh" experiences. 

I'm about to be a bit of a dick here and point out that (within reason*) you're being paid to fulfill his expectations. Your fulfillment is not part of the bargain. 😒  I would also point out that it's physically easier for a woman to "perform" when her head's not in the game than for a man to 'get it up'.  Fortunately, many of us seek mutual satisfaction.😀

---

* IMHO debasement or endangerment are not reasonable. 

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Relax and smile. Nobody is the same. Chances are he is nervous and does not know what to do, or that he is unaware that he is not contributing to the experience. Now is the time to get to know your partner and possibly educate him a bit if possible. I love to start kissing like crazy without stopping if conversation runs dry. Lots of caressing and purring...Laci pull out the sexXxy charm!

We know you have it!!!💗💗

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1 hour ago, ilovewomen said:

What if maybe Laci is talking about when activities start, the guy just lays there and makes no effort at all?  It would be like interacting with a log or stick of wood.

Or the guy has absolutely no personality at all?

That's why this is a job. I would kick a real life partner out of bed for being a lazy bum but not a paying client. I don't expect chemistry with every client and I definitely don't expect reciprocation. But I will give good service to everyone regardless of whether or not they're a stick in the mud because that is my job. 

 

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If the connection isn't good, time spent is also not good.

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2 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

Both parties may have expectations. And both sides may have "meh" experiences. 

I'm about to be a bit of a dick here and point out that (within reason*) you're being paid to fulfill his expectations. Your fulfillment is not part of the bargain. 😒  I would also point out that it's physically easier for a woman to "perform" when her head's not in the game than for a man to 'get it up'.  Fortunately, many of us seek mutual satisfaction.😀

---

* IMHO debasement or endangerment are not reasonable. 

Totally agree, it is my job. It is nice when we too get to enjoy ourselves. But yes, we get paid to please. A lot of guys just lay there, but if they’re hard and they cum, then it’s a job well done. I’d be a liar if I said, oh yes they’re all good. Can’t have a connection with everyone, but we do try....ok some try. 

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It is easy to give advice to another...but I will try to do so from my similar perspective. I too am in a service business. How much I enjoy time spent with different clients varies. As I see it, my JOB is the service I provide....the WORK is to provide that service as best I can.  Case in point. I have a weekly client who is extremely OCD....making focused communication insanely difficult. Additionally, this person routinely consumes two hours when only paying for one...being as they are unfocused and scatterbrained. Why do I put up with this?  For the money. If my business suddenly exploded, or I hit some inheritance or lottery, I would drop this person like a red hot rock. There's the rub. If they pay, and I accept payment then I am agreeing to do the best job I can do for them. If I accept the payment, likely they will be back. If I choose to avoid this "more difficult" client, I do so at the cost of that money. I would say that is the likely the decision everyone in business makes.....ladies here included.

Edited by Admiral C
It's Miss Splellings fault
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22 hours ago, Laci French said:

I've run into this situation a couple of times recently and would like some feedback on how best to handle the situation.  Sexual styles were not compatible and without the "connection" it can often times feel mechanical.  What would you gentlemen like for us ladies to do if we feel this during the encounter?

My responses were to ask him to leave before anything got started (with the full envelope) and the other to switch things up from FS appt to another option.

When would you like this to be brought up..if at all?  How do you handle the situation if activities have already started? 

 

 

Thank you for the feedback.  I started this thread to try and get opinions on how to handle a very delicate situation.  

Very thankful these types of situations are extremely rare, as connections are most often than not made easily and effortlessly. 

 

These responses have left me feeling a sense of "suck it up buttercup"...and my response is what would that review say? How many negative reviews have been posted because someone just went through the session mechanically?

 

Providers do get paid a premium for the services offered...which more often than not include IOP and GFE.  That experience alone IMO should not be mechanical leaving the gentleman wanting...

 

I stand strong in my stance and thank you all for the input.

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But how would the review read if you turned him away at the door or later, even if he left with his $s?

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Hard question what's worse, a "mechanical" review or we decided not to go through with the appintment. For me I would rather we agree, that it isn't a good match, and move on (I would still leave something behind) rather than just be wishing I hadn't been there (have had that experience before). Then again I know not every gent is a gent and that being told that it is not going to work could create the ladies next stalker.

Don't want to hijack the thread, so ill just say this. It is a hard spot you ladies are in. We can view you like a menu and read reviews. Then we show up you get the surprise. Althiugh I can't understand some of these guys I have heard about, bad behavior, or hygiene. I always want the person I meet to like meeting me and be happy to hear from me in the future.

That said I appreciate the honesty and opportunity out for both if it's not good.

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48 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

But how would the review read if you turned him away at the door or later, even if he left with his $s?

Leaves me with my integrity intact and knowing I’ve done right by him and myself.  

My body/psyche my choice. 

 

Edited by Laci French
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4 hours ago, Laci French said:

Leaves me with my integrity intact and knowing I’ve done right by him and myself.  

My body/psyche my choice. 

 

True!

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4 hours ago, Laci French said:

Leaves me with my integrity intact and knowing I’ve done right by him and myself.  

My body/psyche my choice. 

 

Classiest woman I know.  Love you Laci.

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On 9/29/2017 at 5:55 PM, Bit Banger said:

But how would the review read if you turned him away at the door or later, even if he left with his $s?

Would that not be a huge slam!?  If I was the client... Not sure if I would write a review. I think more along the lines of my self esteem sinking  to new lows! Which in itself is far worse.

Edited by Kali Sensual Reiki
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On 29.9.2017 at 6:17 PM, olgunn said:

If the connection isn't good,...

call AT&T.^_^

Other than that, it's a monetary transaction, who cares about "sexual styles". Sounds to me she wanted to palm off an overpriced hand job. ;)

She: honey, I'll give you a real good handjob. 
Answer: Sure, but it'll take me 3 hours to cum. Let's get started before it gets dark.;):)B)

Edited by 2Big
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6 hours ago, 2Big said:

call AT&T.^_^

Other than that, it's a monetary transaction, who cares about "sexual styles". Sounds to me she wanted to palm off an overpriced hand job. ;)

She: honey, I'll give you a real good handjob. 
Answer: Sure, but it'll take me 3 hours to cum. Let's get started before it gets dark.;):)B)

You would never have written this if you knew Laci. She is one of the most caring, intelligent, classy people I have ever met. Her integrity is beyond reproach.

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I think it depends on the situation. I had a client one time come in and want something that is one of my boundaries and was just hoping that by being in the door that I would relent...I didn't and sent him on his way. I was polite and professional about it. Otherwise, with things like a connection, I just do my best and remain friendly and inviting. I am being paid to please...it doesn't mean I have to see him again though.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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12 hours ago, 2Big said:

call AT&T.^_^

Other than that, it's a monetary transaction, who cares about "sexual styles". Sounds to me she wanted to palm off an overpriced hand job. ;)

She: honey, I'll give you a real good handjob. 
Answer: Sure, but it'll take me 3 hours to cum. Let's get started before it gets dark.;):)B)

You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about - seriously, why mouth off from total ignorance?

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On 10/1/2017 at 3:13 AM, 2Big said:

call AT&T.^_^

Other than that, it's a monetary transaction, who cares about "sexual styles". Sounds to me she wanted to palm off an overpriced hand job. ;)

She: honey, I'll give you a real good handjob. 
Answer: Sure, but it'll take me 3 hours to cum. Let's get started before it gets dark.;):)B)

 

22 hours ago, comfortseeker said:

You would never have written this if you knew Laci. She is one of the most caring, intelligent, classy people I have ever met. Her integrity is beyond reproach.

 

17 hours ago, BadBoy said:

You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about - seriously, why mouth off from total ignorance?

Ignore 2Big.  He comes on TOB every so often and is a troll and stirs up shit.  If you look at his posts, they are mainly demeaning and disrespectful to the ladies here.  I admit he is infuriating with his posts.  He likes the negative attention.  His words aren't worth the paper (or computer) they are written on.

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After reading the replies to Laci on this thread, I am amazed.  For years everyone says the ladies has a right to do what they want that she feels is right for her, no matter what.

Laci asks an honest question...How do you handle a situation where the gentlemen and the lady are completely incompatible.

And what are the replies she gets??  Her feelings don't matter...because he is paying her, she has to fuck him.

What hypocrisy is being written here.

A lady has every right to determine who she spends time with.,,,no matter what or what.

 

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No Shirt, No Shoes, No Personality...NO SERVICE!

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9 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

... And what are the replies she gets??  Her feelings don't matter...because he is paying her, she has to fuck him.

What hypocrisy is being written here.

A lady has every right to determine who she spends time with.,,,FOR HER SAFETY

 

But Laci did not present this as a safety issue. A 'meh' client may be "work" and not fun, but not every client is going to be Dirk Digler.  We sometimes (or often try to) forget that this is a job for the ladies. It pays the bills & puts food on the table.  With every job comes some drudgery. It's not fun, but it's truth.

As Lucy said, in personal life kick the duds to the curb, but for work - suck it up. {pun intended}

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