Posted September 5, 2017 If a gay person is only attracted to their same sex, then why are some women (not all) attracted to women who dress, talk and carry themselves like men. On the flip side of that, why are some gay men attracted to guys who act and talk more feminine than most women out there. Before anybody (You know exactly who you are) gets started about me being some kind of homophobe, you can save your breathe. I Don't judge anyone about there personal sexual preference. This is just something I've always been curious about. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 5, 2017 This is the simple way to explain it, obviously it's a lot more complex than this. Basically, there is a difference between sexual orientation and sexual attraction and both are considered a spectrum. Attraction to Gender, Asexual, Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual (Kinsey Spectrum). Attraction to sexuality: Androsexual attraction to masculinity , Gynesexual attracted to femininity, I am a heterosexual male and an androsexual. I am attracted to women, but I prefer masculine traits (i.e. tomboys). A woman that is gay and attracted to masuline traits would be a homosexual female and a gynesexual. There is a great book on the brain that talks about this and the physical developmental differences in the brain between males, females, gay, and transexuals. I will have to see if I can find it on my shelf if you are interested. 10 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 6, 2017 Wow, SensualAddict, that was really a great response 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 6, 2017 Thanks SensualAddict, I knew it was probably complicated. This helps me and a lot of other people understand a little bit better. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 6, 2017 . I'm bisexual but I'm only attracted to really feminine women. Soft, sensual women. Girly, frilly, lipstick ladies. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 6, 2017 57 minutes ago, Melissa Sterling said: . I'm bisexual but I'm only attracted to really feminine women. Soft, sensual women. Girly, frilly, lipstick ladies. I can totally understand that! I like my women the same way. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 6, 2017 11 hours ago, H2Opieluver said: I can totally understand that! I like my women the same way. I like my women manly, give me abs, biceps, and strong shoulders. Not all the way to the bodybuilder end of the spectrum more the hardcore cross-fitter. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 6, 2017 12 hours ago, H2Opieluver said: Thanks SensualAddict, I knew it was probably complicated. This helps me and a lot of other people understand a little bit better. You're welcome, I am a pretty serious nerd and I read a lot of science; lately I have been focusing on the brain and biology of the bran. What's really interesting is the study of true transgender brains. As a group, when analyzed through MRI a transgender person has the brain that more closely aligns with their experienced gender. Simplistically, they truly may be "trapped" in the wrong body. When you study the fetus, the determination of genitalia happens at a different time than the determination of psychological gender; the latter being hormone driven while the former is chromosomal. Like I said, I am a nerd and study a lot of different topics. I get off on knowledge so to speak. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 6, 2017 They do occur at a different time, but genitalia is also hormonal (and chromosomal). The sex organs develop as the result of how they respond to androgens, specifically the external sex organs. Those are 'by default' female until dihydrotestosterone makes its presence known - and the receptors in a genetic male respond to it. Fun stuff. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 6, 2017 Thanks fellas for the great informative stuff on this topic. This is exactly what I enjoy about reading this forum. I learn a lot about things I'm curious about and sometimes there is some really light and funny stuff on here. I don't like reading people's personal or political agendas,so once again ,thank you guys. I'm sure there were a few who rolled their eyes when they read this topic. That's ok, I don't give a damn. I had a very good question that a lot of people besides me were curious about but didn't want to ask. I got some very respectful and informative responses. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 7, 2017 21 hours ago, Phil-anderer said: They do occur at a different time, but genitalia is also hormonal (and chromosomal). The sex organs develop as the result of how they respond to androgens, specifically the external sex organs. Those are 'by default' female until dihydrotestosterone makes its presence known - and the receptors in a genetic male respond to it. Fun stuff. Hmmm, this differs from what I have been reading. From what I have been reading the physiological dimorphism typically happens at conception (i.e. XX or XY chromosmes) the sexual dimorphism (i.e. size of phallus, development of testes vs ovaries) occur utero early in pregnancy. Sex typed behaviors begin to develop in utero between weeks 8-24 based on hormonal presence. My understanding (albeit crude) is that this separation is how you can get a transgender (M2F) with a large phallus. The large phallus and testes develops early based on hormonal presence that then rapidly wanes during the following period when sex typed behaviors develop. Arguably this is a fairly new field to me, oddly enough I wandered down this rabbit hole trying to understand the brains response to authoritarian traits and why that co-occurs with other traits. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 7, 2017 On 9/6/2017 at 0:40 PM, H2Opieluver said: I'm sure there were a few who rolled their eyes when they read this topic. That's ok, I don't give a damn. I had a very good question that a lot of people besides me were curious about but didn't want to ask. I got some very respectful and informative responses. I'll admit I was an eye roller. The responses, however, have been fascinating. I'm glad I read further. It's amazing how differently people see the world and what they are attracted to--especially compared to my own tame style. Sometimes when the world feels small, you need a conversation like this to open it back up and show you how varied and unique everyone out there really is. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 7, 2017 4 hours ago, SensualAddict said: Hmmm, this differs from what I have been reading. From what I have been reading the physiological dimorphism typically happens at conception (i.e. XX or XY chromosmes) the sexual dimorphism (i.e. size of phallus, development of testes vs ovaries) occur utero early in pregnancy. Sex typed behaviors begin to develop in utero between weeks 8-24 based on hormonal presence. My understanding (albeit crude) is that this separation is how you can get a transgender (M2F) with a large phallus. The large phallus and testes develops early based on hormonal presence that then rapidly wanes during the following period when sex typed behaviors develop. Arguably this is a fairly new field to me, oddly enough I wandered down this rabbit hole trying to understand the brains response to authoritarian traits and why that co-occurs with other traits. You are correct - and so am I. Sexual dimorphism does occur at conception genetically. And the 'plan' is laid out, such that when the primary sex organ develops, or gonadal development, that is what gives the first clue of male vs. female. Testes are testes, and ovaries are ovaries, but the hormonal responses to testosterone later is what makes everything else develop (penis vs. clitoris) later. That is where we are essentially 'female' in terms of everything but the gonads until tissues respond to dihydrotestosterone that is produced (if testes present). Also... it's been a while since I had embryology (not relevant really to what I do now), so thanks for the discussion! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 7, 2017 4 minutes ago, Phil-anderer said: You are correct - and so am I. Sexual dimorphism does occur at conception genetically. And the 'plan' is laid out, such that when the primary sex organ develops, or gonadal development, that is what gives the first clue of male vs. female. Testes are testes, and ovaries are ovaries, but the hormonal responses to testosterone later is what makes everything else develop (penis vs. clitoris) later. That is where we are essentially 'female' in terms of everything but the gonads until tissues respond to dihydrotestosterone that is produced (if testes present). Also... it's been a while since I had embryology (not relevant really to what I do now), so thanks for the discussion! Good to know that we can both be right. When I reread your post it looked like we were speaking along the same line. I think misinterpreted your response initially. I am not in medicine at all pretty much all self-taught so never had the classes. I am trying to get back to my original study of the brain and authoritarianism. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 7, 2017 1 hour ago, daaacz said: I'll admit I was an eye roller. The responses, however, have been fascinating. I'm glad I read further. It's amazing how differently people see the world and what they are attracted to--especially compared to my own tame style. Sometimes when the world feels small, you need a conversation like this to open it back up and show you how varied and unique everyone out there really is. Yea, this thread had the potential to blow sideways and seems to have escaped that fate. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 7, 2017 1 hour ago, SensualAddict said: Yea, this thread had the potential to blow sideways and seems to have escaped that fate. Yeah as soon as I hit the submit button I thought to myself this might get ugly knowing some of the members on this board and how they tend to overreact to everything that seems to come up. I appreciate the fact that everyone kept their sanity. -1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 7, 2017 The heart wants what it wants. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 8, 2017 On 9/6/2017 at 0:40 PM, H2Opieluver said: Thanks fellas for the great informative stuff on this topic. This is exactly what I enjoy about reading this forum. I learn a lot about things I'm curious about and sometimes there is some really light and funny stuff on here. I don't like reading people's personal or political agendas,so once again ,thank you guys. I'm sure there were a few who rolled their eyes when they read this topic. That's ok, I don't give a damn. I had a very good question that a lot of people besides me were curious about but didn't want to ask. I got some very respectful and informative responses. H2Opielver-don't sell us all short here. There are a lot of brainy, nerdy (your description) men and women on this forum. While I agree that we are often frivolous in our responses, the underlying current of intelligent,well thought out answers is not unknown. 🍀 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 8, 2017 It's true. My penis has an IQ of 147. In college, it was more like 80. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2017 Now, I know where I am coming for medical advice.. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2017 On 9/5/2017 at 9:28 PM, Melissa Sterling said: . I'm bisexual but I'm only attracted to really feminine women. Soft, sensual women. Girly, frilly, lipstick ladies. I am not bi, but have always found it interesting that I love the most masculine of men with huge shoulders, but find the ballerina female so sensual. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2017 This past week Dan Savage discussed on his podcast Savage Love a similar query, it was about why we are attracted to the body types that we are. One of the things brought up was what we are taught in our youth to find attractive or what the model for attractiveness is. For instance if we were taught that broad shouldered muscular men were manly men and we should aspire to that body type, chances are if we are gay we are then attracted to that body type because it holds our ideal. The same would be true for our desire for women, if curvy Marilyn Monroe types were idealized, that is the body type we would like. I love how everything comes back to what we learned as a child. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 10, 2017 On 9/5/2017 at 9:28 PM, Melissa Sterling said: . I'm bisexual but I'm only attracted to really feminine women. Soft, sensual women. Girly, frilly, lipstick ladies. Yup....VERY LIPSTICK 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 10, 2017 I'm most attracted to what's inside another woman. Inner beauty is a must or they lose all attractiveness. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 10, 2017 (edited) 35 minutes ago, Laci French said: I'm most attracted to what's inside another woman. Inner beauty is a must or they lose all attractiveness. Inner beauty is a fantastic trait. Edited September 10, 2017 by ilovewomen 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 10, 2017 2 hours ago, Laci French said: I'm most attracted to what's inside another woman. Inner beauty is a must or they lose all attractiveness. isn't that true of all attraction male or female that who a person truly is will be more important than anything else 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 11, 2017 On 9/10/2017 at 0:38 PM, Laci French said: I'm most attracted to what's inside another woman. Inner beauty is a must or they lose all attractiveness. I call this personality adjustment. When I was younger my brother always went out with women that were eights or nines on the ten scale. Then I would talk to them. The personality adjustment would drop many of them to a solid three. Bitchy or dumb, or the worst plays dumb to get the guys. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 11, 2017 4 hours ago, SensualAddict said: I call this personality adjustment. When I was younger my brother always went out with women that were eights or nines on the ten scale. Then I would talk to them. The personality adjustment would drop many of them to a solid three. Bitchy or dumb, or the worst plays dumb to get the guys. If you are going to rate women on a scale of 1 to 10, women who like fishing start at 8.5 and go up from there. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 12, 2017 What is it with you old dudes who are so obsessed with fishing companions? Don't get me wrong, I love to fish, been fly fishing for 50+ years, but the reason I like wading up a river is that there are no other people in my current universe! Fishing is the absolute opposite of loving - fishing is a solitary, lonely, experience, between just you, the river, your line, your fly, and the fish. It absorbs your entire mind, which is it's primary virtue. A female companion would have to similarly desire such a totally isolated experience (if so, please PM - we must meet). On the other hand, loving is the attention of one human to another for a brief period of time. A goddamned fish would be a total distraction - wait, is that a brookie, wow, they never get to 15", I gotta touch this guy, I really gotta see this guy, he's such a fighter, easy, easy......... Oh yeah, sorry babe.... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 12, 2017 Androgyny is the salt to the sweet. It's the interplay between different flavors; the opposing bringing out the true tones of the other. No one is attracted to someone who is purely feminine or purely masculine and sometimes those that straddle the center between those two are the most compelling of all. I realize that in the course of my mongering, I've fucked a good number of lesbians. There is nothing I could have done--no way I could have fucked them better, no way I could have made them come harder--that would have changed that part of themselves. But that wasn't what I was hiring them for, and even a lesbian can experience pleasure from man, or connect with you. Sexuality is so much more complicated than we give credit for and that's why all of us are here. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites