Chrissy

Men SURFING TOB READ Me.

46 posts in this topic

Some of these guys are totally clueless. Those who really and truly have P411 & references know the drill and know that vouching for a guy doesn't work.

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your rant was well placed complete and truthful information is a requirement in making a successful connection

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I just don't understand, guys know we paid to be on here, that this is not free for us. so wasted time, wasted hotel rooms ,dry runs to residences that don't exist are just becoming more and more. I can honestly say this season has not been a good one for both sides on many levels

Edited by Chrissy
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This does seem to be happening more and more. I think some guys are trying to skirt the "process", and I honestly think some are just naive, nervous and new. 

A good portion of us ladies have a 6th sense to determine which type of person we have on the line (email, etc). I have found that when I have some patience and explain the necessity of screening etc, they understand and can adhere to our wishes. Some.... well not so much.....

Thanks for the PSA Chrissy. 

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I'm also getting a noticeable increase in PMs on the boards asking for recommendations, 411s, and generally seeking a curated experience.  There seems to be an influx of tourists this year and none of them seem to be able to do their own research.  I'm learning that it is OK to just ignore and delete those.

I imagine that it must be tenfold for ladies such as yourselves.  While it could be argued that these are not full time hobbyists and may not know any better any one that finds their way to TOB, gets a feel for the pulse of the community, and reads your ads and profiles should definitely understand that your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate is not a valid reference!

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I'm sure there are a couple suck buckets and the stray pork-chop sprinkled in that mix, but I tell ya what many are. You have guys that for whatever reason don't want to join P411, and then don't want to waste money on "entry level" girls just to get references...( which they may not get anyway......see recent threads about girls not being stepping stones). So, them being horny, you get those requests....and when it does not work...they contact another girl....and another...and another....and... That's all likely to increase as economies tighten up. 

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26 minutes ago, Admiral C said:

I'm sure there are a couple suck buckets and the stray pork-chop sprinkled in that mix, but I tell ya what many are. You have guys that for whatever reason don't want to join P411, and then don't want to waste money on "entry level" girls just to get references...( which they may not get anyway......see recent threads about girls not being stepping stones). So, them being horny, you get those requests....and when it does not work...they contact another girl....and another...and another....and... That's all likely to increase as economies tighten up. 

Nothing personal, but I think you are rationalizing boorish behavior.

I'm an introverted engineer with poor social skills and low self-esteem.  I'm also a redneck country boy.

Yet, despite an unreasonable fear of LE when I was first starting out,  I was able to learn how to do research on a lady, determine if she was real, make an introduction of myself in an emailed, texted, or phone appointment request using brevity and (admittedly lame) humor.  After trusting SOMEONE initially for my first real screening (made me nervous as hell but I lucked out and selected a true pro) I decided that streamlining that process by joining P411 was best.

I'm no ladies man or smooth operator, but I do have one endearing feature that a lot of guys in this activity don't seem to have:  respect for the providers.

All those examples that Chrissy gives upthread would never be attempted by someone who respects the provider and the process they need to follow.  I am not comfy with a lot of screening procedures, so I settled on P411 as a way to meet everyone's needs. But the respect has to be there.  

Edited by Yorick
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1 hour ago, Yorick said:

Nothing personal, but I think you are rationalizing boorish behavior.

I'm an introverted engineer with poor social skills and low self-esteem.  I'm also a redneck country boy.

Yet, despite an unreasonable fear of LE when I was first starting out,  I was able to learn how to do research on a lady, determine if she was real, make an introduction of myself in an emailed, texted, or phone appointment request using brevity and (admittedly lame) humor.  After trusting SOMEONE initially for my first real screening (made me nervous as hell but I lucked out and selected a true pro) I decided that streamlining that process by joining P411 was best.

I'm no ladies man or smooth operator, but I do have one endearing feature that a lot of guys in this activity don't seem to have:  respect for the providers.

All those examples that Chrissy gives upthread would never be attempted by someone who respects the provider and the process they need to follow.  I am not comfy with a lot of screening procedures, so I settled on P411 as a way to meet everyone's needs. But the respect has to be there.  

I would not say that I am rationalizing boorish behavior......I am explaining how THEY rationalize boorish behavior.

 

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The one that really bothers me lately is I keep hearing over and over again, " I have never done this!" Really? There are REALLY that many guys that have "never" done this? I guess they think I started yesterday! :D

I have had almost no references in months as they seem to not have them, or are uncomfortable giving them out, or can't remember...do they really think I am going to let that slide when I have had too many issues in the last six months with other screening procedures? Nope, they have to look elsewhere. Yes Chrissy, I agree, it has gotten worse and man, has my screening been ridiculously meticulous. Thank goodness because a few weeks ago it would have been pretty sucky for me if I hadn't been doing my due diligence.

What bothers me about this whole deal is the ladies that aren't screening and especially with who is calling. It makes it harder for us to do our job safely because they don't see a reason to take the extra step. My motto is...NEXT!!!

Stay safe chica and keep doing what you do best!

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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Thank you ladies for sticking to your guns and screening. Our safety is not negotiable.

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8 hours ago, Admiral C said:

I would not say that I am rationalizing boorish behavior......I am explaining how THEY rationalize boorish behavior.

 

LOL.  An important distinction!  

Noted. My apologies sir.

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On one hand, I'm glad I'm not alone in the idiocy. On the other hand, why do we have to deal with this? Thanks to the guys who get the reason behind screening.

To those who don't get it....it keeps everyone in the community SAFE! Chrissy is right, LE used to leave us alone...not anymore. So frustrating! 

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You have a legitimate concern, but I would like to think that the members that read this forum do follow the rules of etiquette when contacting Providers. My suggestion is to point these clients that are getting it wrong to this forum so they may understand the errors of their ways. K :cool:

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On 8/31/2017 at 10:44 AM, Chrissy said:

OK guys ONE MORE TIME! When we say we want your references. 

These DO NOT WORK! 

Hi Chrissy here is my p411 request, But I have a friend here that's not a member. Could you see us both. (Seperatly, but at same time) I can vouch for him on my account.

 

Hi I am Scott. I have seen :&#$ with $&:#@ agency. There # is..Let me know. 

 

Hi I am Dave, I have only seen one girl on here for FBSM(NOT ILLEGAL!!) she knows me by my email davesmith @ $;:!#.com

 

Chrissy are you available at my hotel. I am from East coast and use TNA and TER but am not a member. Can we verify another way?

 

Hi Chrissy. I do not have references but could we meet for drinks and dinner, you can decide if I am cool then we can go from there.

 

Hi I am Pete. I am an eccie membEr My handle is ($:!&@:;) but haven't been active in a year, could we work something out? Also I am emailing you instead of going through my eccie account ,is that ok?

Hi I only have seen two girls they are on backpage. One has a ton of reviews but I can't find her ad now. Her number is 1234567889. She knows me as Dave. Let me know if I passed screening.

 

 

See a pattern here???

What the heck is going on here?

Did a crap load of idiots  and Law enforcement join the boards Again!!?? Move to Denver in the last few years.?

Seriously this is getting ridiculous guys.

Denver never used to be this full of crap. Even when LE would sting they would give up on here, leave us be and return to backpage or Eros for the remainder of sting.. Because We Screen!

Well it is safe to say , Not now or ever again With the desperation on TOB for apts. Locations being revealed and girls who have NO savvy being Newbie friendly. 

References Mean= ESCORT I have see that can vouch for me as a client.

FBSM IS NOT ESCORT!

MP's are NOT ESCORT references

AGENCIES are NOT ESCORT reference (They do NOT offer references for INDEPENDENT escorts. 

Friends that can vouch are NOT references..

C'mon guys. You want fun. We want safe. Play by the rules and this all gets so much easier for us all. STOP thinking YOU are that ONE special guy we will make exceptions for. 

If you HAVE SEEN A LADY THAT ALLOWS THIS.. Keep seeing HER!

Do NOT try the same crap with us Serious providers you can not pass screening with and use this as your reference...More than likely her refs aren't trusted anyhow and u will be passed apon. 

 

OK rant over, taking a sip of tea. 

Thank you for putting that up. It really is helpful. I am working on getting my shit together and this helps so keep it up.

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Colorado definitely isn't a pioneer for sex work and clients are skittish with even a real email. It would be nice to be more like the hotspot cities where a drivers license and credit card can get the job done with little to no fuss. People argue discretion and privacy/backlash. I think it's more like "my pleasure is more than your comfort of me being inside you" entitlement but I'm dramatic. Personal work, expect personal screening and be more leery of those that do not. 

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On 8/31/2017 at 9:22 PM, SultryKitten said:

The one that really bothers me lately is I keep hearing over and over again, " I have never done this!" Really? There are REALLY that many guys that have "never" done this? I guess they think I started yesterday! :D

I have had almost no references in months as they seem to not have them, or are uncomfortable giving them out, or can't remember...do they really think I am going to let that slide when I have had too many issues in the last six months with other screening procedures? Nope, they have to look elsewhere. Yes Chrissy, I agree, it has gotten worse and man, has my screening been ridiculously meticulous. Thank goodness because a few weeks ago it would have been pretty sucky for me if I hadn't been doing my due diligence.

What bothers me about this whole deal is the ladies that aren't screening and especially with who is calling. It makes it harder for us to do our job safely because they don't see a reason to take the extra step. My motto is...NEXT!!!

Stay safe chica and keep doing what you do best!

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

I get this one often and I just tell them I'm not newbie friendly.  I have such a deep respect for the ladies that are willing to see newbies.  

I still wish we could have a sticky on the board that lists newbie friendly/late night providers by name.  (Hint-Hint😉)

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On 8/31/2017 at 9:22 PM, SultryKitten said:

The one that really bothers me lately is I keep hearing over and over again, " I have never done this!" Really? There are REALLY that many guys that have "never" done this? 

Samantha Sheppard

Or the ones who have never done this, but know ALL of the lingo. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

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3 hours ago, Audrey Astor said:

Or the ones who have never done this, but know ALL of the lingo. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

This would be me. I can't wait to be FTF  with doggy MISH or get some Cowgirl in your outcall . maybe a little translated Russian or some reverse French. my personal favorite is going out after the session for some PSE and a beer. :D

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You'd be surprised how many ladies don't want screening information at all, even when offered. I've had two prominent ladies on here recently just ask for my board handle, and then booked right away. I'm very willing to be screen to the ladies satisfaction (within reason) but the standards are very erratic and you can't always know what to expect. 

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16 minutes ago, Mustang87 said:

You'd be surprised how many ladies don't want screening information at all, even when offered. I've had two prominent ladies on here recently just ask for my board handle, and then booked right away. I'm very willing to be screen to the ladies satisfaction (within reason) but the standards are very erratic and you can't always know what to expect. 

Sometimes there is screening going on through the contact that you are not aware is happening. ;)

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50 minutes ago, Mustang87 said:

You'd be surprised how many ladies don't want screening information at all, even when offered. I've had two prominent ladies on here recently just ask for my board handle, and then booked right away. I'm very willing to be screen to the ladies satisfaction (within reason) but the standards are very erratic and you can't always know what to expect. 

If you have a board handle, participate, and do reviews, that's probably all they need to know.  If anything, they can just send a quick msg to someone you reviewed to see if you're cool...

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Erratic is exactly right! I have a lot of thoughts on this but I'll condense them to just a few here. 

I feel relatively lucky because when I first started, a year ago almost to the day, I met a wonderful lady (primarily BP, but with a TOB profile) who was the very first woman I asked for references and she gladly obliged. I'd guess she would have given me "phone references" at least 4 times. Bless her! She would probably be classified as a BP reference, hence might not have held much value among some.

And she was the one who led me to my first legit TOB lady, who I met after simply PM-ing when I did not have any reviews at all and simply had a TOB profile for a few weeks. That's it. And we all know how easy it is to create one of those. The two of them were my proverbial springboard in to legitimacy and a real reputation.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that while I sympathize with the ladies being inundated with more and more fake/lewd messages, I also say please have a heart for those newbies looking to catch a break. While you can certainly refuse to meet someone, please do so politely so they may learn from their mistakes. This topic will go a long a way in doing so. Thank you Chrissy and I hope you have a wonderful life outside CO.

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On 8/31/2017 at 9:22 PM, SultryKitten said:

The one that really bothers me lately is I keep hearing over and over again, " I have never done this!" Really? There are REALLY that many guys that have "never" done this? I guess they think I started yesterday! :D

I have had almost no references in months as they seem to not have them, or are uncomfortable giving them out, or can't remember...do they really think I am going to let that slide when I have had too many issues in the last six months with other screening procedures? Nope, they have to look elsewhere. Yes Chrissy, I agree, it has gotten worse and man, has my screening been ridiculously meticulous. Thank goodness because a few weeks ago it would have been pretty sucky for me if I hadn't been doing my due diligence.

What bothers me about this whole deal is the ladies that aren't screening and especially with who is calling. It makes it harder for us to do our job safely because they don't see a reason to take the extra step. My motto is...NEXT!!!

Stay safe chica and keep doing what you do best!

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

Yes... I have been getting a lot of I have references but not here....Sally Joe from nowhereville and Jane Smith....no numbers or anything...really?....

I screen for my safety... if you are uncomfortable with my method then I'm sorry....but SAFETY for me is first and foremost💕💕💕💕💕👄

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On 8/31/2017 at 8:51 PM, Admiral C said:

I would not say that I am rationalizing boorish behavior......I am explaining how THEY rationalize boorish behavior.

 

I'm no ladies man or smooth operator, but I do have one endearing feature that a lot of guys in this activity don't seem to have:  respect for the providers.

And that is key in MHO.

That will get you far and make you friends no mater what your social skills might be.

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18 hours ago, raul said:

Erratic is exactly right! I have a lot of thoughts on this but I'll condense them to just a few here. 

I feel relatively lucky because when I first started, a year ago almost to the day, I met a wonderful lady (primarily BP, but with a TOB profile) who was the very first woman I asked for references and she gladly obliged. I'd guess she would have given me "phone references" at least 4 times. Bless her! She would probably be classified as a BP reference, hence might not have held much value among some.

And she was the one who led me to my first legit TOB lady, who I met after simply PM-ing when I did not have any reviews at all and simply had a TOB profile for a few weeks. That's it. And we all know how easy it is to create one of those. The two of them were my proverbial springboard in to legitimacy and a real reputation.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that while I sympathize with the ladies being inundated with more and more fake/lewd messages, I also say please have a heart for those newbies looking to catch a break. While you can certainly refuse to meet someone, please do so politely so they may learn from their mistakes. This topic will go a long a way in doing so. Thank you Chrissy and I hope you have a wonderful life outside CO.

Well said Raul.

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Great post Chrissy. I first learned about TOB & the hobby way back in 2004. I had a different account back then I believe. I learned the proper protocols quickly and it made things easier. I think the hobby works best with mutual respect for both parties safety & fun. I'm an "old dude" and maybe that gives me a different perspective with respecting you ladies and the awesome jobs you do. I remember Craigslist days and BP isn't any better and EM seems iffy.

Since this is somewhat on topic.....ignore me if I'm over stepping the thread......I myself have been away from the hobby about 8 years due to a geographic move to an "escorting dessert" in the Midwest. Now that I'm back in the Co. & Wy. area I'm excited to meet some fine ladies again. I currently have an inactive P411 account. Will simply reactivating it be sufficient to play again or should I seek a newbie friendly lady for new references. Maybe I should have made this a new thread but....one can only try can't they?  

Thanks TOB associates it's a great place!

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On 9/3/2017 at 2:09 PM, boink36 said:

This would be me. I can't wait to be FTF  with doggy MISH or get some Cowgirl in your outcall . maybe a little translated Russian or some reverse French. my personal favorite is going out after the session for some PSE and a beer. :D

With all the trouble we are having you think this is funny??? You cracking jokes is not making it easier for us ladies!! 

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