Apology

[Blue-eyedTraveler]

Hello again,

I wanted to take a few moments to let you guys know that I've learned a lesson this week about using more care in the presentation of thoughts on this board. To those who were offended by my post "Asian Men, White Women Porn," please accept my sincere apology. That was certainly not my intention, although a person is only judged on their behavior, and in that, I've failed pretty badly. As a writer, it's especially unnerving to have been called out for expressing something other than what I meant. Please allow me to explain.

In my view, the physical act of sex is built upon a "man gives" (penis) "woman receives" (vagina) paradigm. Psychologically, therefore, it seems to me that the mental side of sex includes a similar concept, for what turns me on the most about sex - and has all my life - is my woman's genuine orgasm and her responsiveness leading up to it. A woman who responds to touch is letting her partner know if what her partner is doing is "working" for her, and that woman is to be praised. There is no better feeling, no greater sense of oneness felt than a woman's response. Therefore, whether fantasy or IRL, I am aroused by this, and I find a lot more in Japanese porn than any other genre. By using white women who speak English, that is magnified, whether the woman is feigning resistance (we used to call it "playing hard to get") or actively encouraging. In Western porn, the responsive actions of women are so over-the-top and fake that it leaves me utterly limp, whereas Japanese women play a more submissive role and seem much more responsive to the actions of the man in the scene. In this genre of which I speak, videos are 40 minutes plus, 80% of which are foreplay with the woman's response growing with arousal as the minutes tick by. This is my favorite cup of tea, for under my way of thinking, this is a man giving and a woman receiving.

Moreover, I'll add that resistance is at least a response, which is much more than is often the case. It certainly beats the "oo, ah, give it to me baby" nonsense of more traditional porn or the transparent and artificial encouragement of "oh, you're so big" that seems to float other people's boats. In the Japanese culture, there appears to be a sense that the woman is "guarding" her (alleged) purity, which adds to the heightened response. It is as far from sexual assault as things can get, which is why I was so shocked at some of the responses. Like I said, I expressed it poorly. What I was trying to say was that a certain group of men in prison for violent acts against women (people I interviewed for an award-winning documentary many years ago) said they believed their victims actually liked what they were doing, which we all know is a total crock. Again, I'm really sorry for the umbrage caused.

I was probing for responses to the idea of arousing women in the hobby, and I'm still very curious. It's a business deal, I know, and that's probably the biggest reason I don't play nearly as much as I once did. It's just too risky for my ego. I haven't had sex since 2011, but I can switch hands without missing a stroke.

{Snip}

Thanks for reading.

[Laci French]

Thank you for this. 

[Emily Jordan]

1 hour ago, Blue-eyedTraveler said:

Hello again,

I wanted to take a few moments to let you guys know that I've learned a lesson this week about using more care in the presentation of thoughts on this board. To those who were offended by my post "Asian Men, White Women Porn," please accept my sincere apology. That was certainly not my intention, although a person is only judged on their behavior, and in that, I've failed pretty badly. As a writer, it's especially unnerving to have been called out for expressing something other than what I meant. Please allow me to explain.

In my view, the physical act of sex is built upon a "man gives" (penis) "woman receives" (vagina) paradigm. Psychologically, therefore, it seems to me that the mental side of sex includes a similar concept, for what turns me on the most about sex - and has all my life - is my woman's genuine orgasm and her responsiveness leading up to it. A woman who responds to touch is letting her partner know if what her partner is doing is "working" for her, and that woman is to be praised. There is no better feeling, no greater sense of oneness felt than a woman's response. Therefore, whether fantasy or IRL, I am aroused by this, and I find a lot more in Japanese porn than any other genre. By using white women who speak English, that is magnified, whether the woman is feigning resistance (we used to call it "playing hard to get") or actively encouraging. In Western porn, the responsive actions of women are so over-the-top and fake that it leaves me utterly limp, whereas Japanese women play a more submissive role and seem much more responsive to the actions of the man in the scene. In this genre of which I speak, videos are 40 minutes plus, 80% of which are foreplay with the woman's response growing with arousal as the minutes tick by. This is my favorite cup of tea, for under my way of thinking, this is a man giving and a woman receiving.

Moreover, I'll add that resistance is at least a response, which is much more than is often the case. It certainly beats the "oo, ah, give it to me baby" nonsense of more traditional porn or the transparent and artificial encouragement of "oh, you're so big" that seems to float other people's boats. In the Japanese culture, there appears to be a sense that the woman is "guarding" her (alleged) purity, which adds to the heightened response. It is as far from sexual assault as things can get, which is why I was so shocked at some of the responses. Like I said, I expressed it poorly. What I was trying to say was that a certain group of men in prison for violent acts against women (people I interviewed for an award-winning documentary many years ago) said they believed their victims actually liked what they were doing, which we all know is a total crock. Again, I'm really sorry for the umbrage caused.

I was probing for responses to the idea of arousing women in the hobby, and I'm still very curious. It's a business deal, I know, and that's probably the biggest reason I don't play nearly as much as I once did. It's just too risky for my ego. I haven't had sex since 2011, but I can switch hands without missing a stroke.

[Snip}

Thanks for reading.

Nicely written friend... Thank you! I do now understand your question! 👍😊

[ilovewomen]

It takes a mature person to admit they goofed up.  I applaud you for admitting your good up.

[airamericavet65]

always best to consider every way your words can be taken and when needed provide a better explanation

[Mackonit]

No worries dude, everyone makes mistakes. If you go back and read some of the stupid post and wonder how they found their way out of the birth canal.

[pointymoustache]

I agree that when the woman responds (and I can tell by her body vibs not vocals) it is the best part of sex.  I have not gotten  that type of response for a while due to my inability to prolong my actions. I just get tired! Let no one tell you that these are the "golden years".  When I do have the energy and she responds with a genuine "O" it is almost better than my own in fact sometimes it is better.  It gives me a feeling of accomplishment and I genuinely like to please my partner.

[Bit Banger]

There's something I learned even in my 20s - a woman can almost always outlast a man!

So I focused on learning other techniques for pleasuring a lady. A man has multiple appendages. When one gets tired, switch things up and use another 😁

Besides, it's not the destination, but rather the journey which is important. 

Edited August 19, 2017 by Bit Banger

[valconxen]

We all say things we regrate later.  Sometimes thoughts in our mind sound rational and great till we say them out loud.    We realize too late to take them back. Most people are not mature enough to apologize.  This shows you are a mature person

Edited August 20, 2017 by valconxen

[Mr.Pink]

TL;DR.....anybody got a readers digest version?

[Cali Rose]

15 hours ago, Blue-eyedTraveler said:

Hello again,

I wanted to take a few moments to let you guys know that I've learned a lesson this week about using more care in the presentation of thoughts on this board. To those who were offended by my post "Asian Men, White Women Porn," please accept my sincere apology. That was certainly not my intention, although a person is only judged on their behavior, and in that, I've failed pretty badly. As a writer, it's especially unnerving to have been called out for expressing something other than what I meant. Please allow me to explain.

In my view, the physical act of sex is built upon a "man gives" (penis) "woman receives" (vagina) paradigm. Psychologically, therefore, it seems to me that the mental side of sex includes a similar concept, for what turns me on the most about sex - and has all my life - is my woman's genuine orgasm and her responsiveness leading up to it. A woman who responds to touch is letting her partner know if what her partner is doing is "working" for her, and that woman is to be praised. There is no better feeling, no greater sense of oneness felt than a woman's response. Therefore, whether fantasy or IRL, I am aroused by this, and I find a lot more in Japanese porn than any other genre. By using white women who speak English, that is magnified, whether the woman is feigning resistance (we used to call it "playing hard to get") or actively encouraging. In Western porn, the responsive actions of women are so over-the-top and fake that it leaves me utterly limp, whereas Japanese women play a more submissive role and seem much more responsive to the actions of the man in the scene. In this genre of which I speak, videos are 40 minutes plus, 80% of which are foreplay with the woman's response growing with arousal as the minutes tick by. This is my favorite cup of tea, for under my way of thinking, this is a man giving and a woman receiving.

Moreover, I'll add that resistance is at least a response, which is much more than is often the case. It certainly beats the "oo, ah, give it to me baby" nonsense of more traditional porn or the transparent and artificial encouragement of "oh, you're so big" that seems to float other people's boats. In the Japanese culture, there appears to be a sense that the woman is "guarding" her (alleged) purity, which adds to the heightened response. It is as far from sexual assault as things can get, which is why I was so shocked at some of the responses. Like I said, I expressed it poorly. What I was trying to say was that a certain group of men in prison for violent acts against women (people I interviewed for an award-winning documentary many years ago) said they believed their victims actually liked what they were doing, which we all know is a total crock. Again, I'm really sorry for the umbrage caused.

I was probing for responses to the idea of arousing women in the hobby, and I'm still very curious. It's a business deal, I know, and that's probably the biggest reason I don't play nearly as much as I once did. It's just too risky for my ego. I haven't had sex since 2011, but I can switch hands without missing a stroke.

{Snip}

Thanks for reading.

Thank you for your apology. I'm sure once you've seen from our perspective how you saw how this is disturbing to us and I commend you for realizing your mistake and apologizing  It shows that you are your intentions were not to harm others and again thank you for clearing this up. 

Edited August 20, 2017 by Cali Rose

[Kinkster]

Nicely written. But unnecessary. Brings to mind the line from Shakespeare's Hamlet, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

Just one data point is this 2015 article from Psychology Today on the topic. Here is the first line: 

Quote

In recent studies, more than 90 percent of women admit having had sexual fantasies, and depending on the study, some one-third to two-thirds confess at least occasional fantasies of being forced into sex.

You might guess from my handle that I occasionally dip my toe into the deeper end of the naughty pool.

And let me say this absolutely: With negotiations, clear communication, established trust, a safe word, and consent even this fantasy that got so many upset can be explored safely and with much mutual satisfaction.

There is a saying in the BDSM world: YKINMKBYKIOK "Your kink is not my kink but your kink is OK." 

IMHO to accost the OP for putting voice to a fantasy that statistically up to 2/3 of you have had is disingenuous. Some rope, clamps, cuffs, gags, and a flogger in my hand with a willing parter is about as fun as sex gets. For both of us. Those same toys used on someone not into it is called assault.

I have never assaulted anyone. 

YKINMKBYKIOK

[boink36]

12 hours ago, Mr.Pink said:

TL;DR.....anybody got a readers digest version?

This is a silly question. if you didn't take the time to read it, obviously you didn't want to know what it said.

[Mr.Pink]

3 hours ago, boink36 said:

This is a silly question. if you didn't take the time to read it, obviously you didn't want to know what it said.

zactley, it's why i said ToLong;DidnotRead

[fishndude57]

48 minutes ago, Mr.Pink said:

zactley, it's why i said ToLong;DidnotRead

Hmmmm, bet you read ads too don't ya. 

[Phil-anderer]

On 8/19/2017 at 8:47 AM, Blue-eyedTraveler said:

Hello again,

I wanted to take a few moments to let you guys know that I've learned a lesson this week about using more care in the presentation of thoughts on this board. To those who were offended by my post "Asian Men, White Women Porn," please accept my sincere apology. That was certainly not my intention, although a person is only judged on their behavior, and in that, I've failed pretty badly. As a writer, it's especially unnerving to have been called out for expressing something other than what I meant. Please allow me to explain.

In my view, the physical act of sex is built upon a "man gives" (penis) "woman receives" (vagina) paradigm. Psychologically, therefore, it seems to me that the mental side of sex includes a similar concept, for what turns me on the most about sex - and has all my life - is my woman's genuine orgasm and her responsiveness leading up to it. A woman who responds to touch is letting her partner know if what her partner is doing is "working" for her, and that woman is to be praised. There is no better feeling, no greater sense of oneness felt than a woman's response. Therefore, whether fantasy or IRL, I am aroused by this, and I find a lot more in Japanese porn than any other genre. By using white women who speak English, that is magnified, whether the woman is feigning resistance (we used to call it "playing hard to get") or actively encouraging. In Western porn, the responsive actions of women are so over-the-top and fake that it leaves me utterly limp, whereas Japanese women play a more submissive role and seem much more responsive to the actions of the man in the scene. In this genre of which I speak, videos are 40 minutes plus, 80% of which are foreplay with the woman's response growing with arousal as the minutes tick by. This is my favorite cup of tea, for under my way of thinking, this is a man giving and a woman receiving.

Moreover, I'll add that resistance is at least a response, which is much more than is often the case. It certainly beats the "oo, ah, give it to me baby" nonsense of more traditional porn or the transparent and artificial encouragement of "oh, you're so big" that seems to float other people's boats. In the Japanese culture, there appears to be a sense that the woman is "guarding" her (alleged) purity, which adds to the heightened response. It is as far from sexual assault as things can get, which is why I was so shocked at some of the responses. Like I said, I expressed it poorly. What I was trying to say was that a certain group of men in prison for violent acts against women (people I interviewed for an award-winning documentary many years ago) said they believed their victims actually liked what they were doing, which we all know is a total crock. Again, I'm really sorry for the umbrage caused.

I was probing for responses to the idea of arousing women in the hobby, and I'm still very curious. It's a business deal, I know, and that's probably the biggest reason I don't play nearly as much as I once did. It's just too risky for my ego. I haven't had sex since 2011, but I can switch hands without missing a stroke.

{Snip}

Thanks for reading.

Dude.  Well done.  And let me apologize for the snarky response I gave.  I really thought you meant a [Snip}

[Mr.Pink]

On 8/20/2017 at 8:09 AM, fishndude57 said:

Hmmmm, bet you read ads too don't ya. 

most ads are short and to the point.......i dont need a novel, i have the attention span of a gnat.

 

[daaacz]

On 8/19/2017 at 10:33 PM, Mr.Pink said:

TL;DR.....anybody got a readers digest version?

F'd up and phrased his last post badly and was interpreted as {snip} fantasy. Apologized profusely.  Actually interested in discussing titilation, foreplay interests & ideas.

[boink36]

Replies to the OP can be sent through private message.