Guest

Selective Providing....

115 posts in this topic

Ok....so recently I have had a person want to see me and get belligerent with me because I wouldn't see them...This person continued then I proceeded to inform him that I'm a selective provider.... So my question is this.... Selective Providing ok or not?.... Apparently some people feel that a person in my position isn't allowed this right.....

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I see nothing wrong with it at all. To me it's your business just like any one who owns a C Store, liq store etc. You reserve the right to refuse service to any one

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Bella Marie said:

Ok....so recently I have had a person want to see me and get belligerent with me because I wouldn't see them...This person continued then I proceeded to inform him that I'm a selective provider.... So my question is this.... Selective Providing ok or not?.... Apparently some people feel that a person in my position isn't allowed this right.....

You have just been going through it...Sorry your having such a hard time with Colorado!  But of course we always have the right to refuse any kind of service to any kind of person...And its just not with this Industry neither!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In my humble opinion you all should be very selective providers.  If anything seems dicey, sketchy, out-of-sorts, menacing, bizarre, or just plain strange you not only have the right to say "no," you really should do so.  Those of us who appreciate the ladies want you to stay safe and, to the extent possible, happy.

6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you this gentleman apparently thinks I have no right... He's from out of state ....

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, SabrinaLynn said:

You have just been going through it...Sorry your having such a hard time with Colorado!  But of course we always have the right to refuse any kind of service to any kind of person...And its just not with this Industry neither!

This reminds me - back in the day before civil rights laws, it was common to see signs in restaurants that said "We reserve the right to refuse service to any person."

My dad owned a restaurant, and was not only not a racist, but had a good sense of humor, and he had a sign made up that said: "We reserve the right to serve refuse to any person."

B)

Edited by BadBoy
1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are free to choose who you associate with.

Period.  End of story.

 

If the guy doesn't like it.....tough noogies.

 

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Bella Marie said:

Thank you this gentleman apparently thinks I have no right... He's from out of state ....

 Being from out of state doesn't justify his dumbness! That's the type you block(another reason i love Sideline) and move on, because that's exactly what he is going to do! Find the next YL to bother!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

At this point, I wouldnt even dignify him with any more replies. Let him rant all he wants. And let those rants fall on deaf ears. Thats his problem, not yours. You are an independent contractor providing a service. Not all that different from a construction company who chooses which projects to bid on from those which are available and seeking bids... No one tells them which ones they must bid on or how to present it. Or which ones to accept. Thats ALWAYS at the discretion of the contractor. Same goes for us ladies... 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You absolutely have the right to be selective and should. Sounds like a jack ass and you likely dodged trouble especially how they reacted.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, Bella Marie said:

Thank you this gentleman apparently thinks I have no right... He's from out of state ....

Some people forget that we are people too. They view us as a product instead of a service provider. Its dehumanizing and disgusting behavior that no one, regardless or their job, race, gender, religion, etc, etc should ever have to endure.  

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 minutes ago, Vegas Jen-5884 said:

Some people forget that we are people too. They view us as a product instead of a service provider. Its dehumanizing and disgusting behavior that no one, regardless or their job, race, gender, religion, etc, etc should ever have to endure.  

Apparently according to him I'm just a "prostitute".... Yeah he actually said that ....

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Clearly, the guy is a fool. Any business can refuse to service anyone. A legal business can't discriminate based on race, or sex, but otherwise has no obligation to work for someone who asks. I turn down potential clients all the time due to rudeness, attempts to negotiate, and, especially, unreasonable demands. 

What you did is clearly right and correct, for you. Move on, and don't worry about it. :)

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Bella Marie said:

Apparently according to him I'm just a "prostitute".... Yeah he actually said that ....

In which case he becomes 'just a John'... that nice generic name for men who have (or deserve) no real identity. :-) (no offense to anyone actually named John, lol.) But seriously, ignore him and KNOW you are far more and far better than any stupid label... 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ignore the loser! He's not worth getting upset about! Besides, for every douche bag like him, there's 10 good ones. There's nothing wrong with being selective and keeping yourself safe.  Don't take it personal, move on.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
30 minutes ago, Vegas Jen-5884 said:

In which case he becomes 'just a John'... that nice generic name for men who have (or deserve) no real identity. :-) (no offense to anyone actually named John, lol.) But seriously, ignore him and KNOW you are far more and far better than any stupid label... 

Thanks doll💋

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't you just want to:...

Hang Up GIF - Hang Up The GIFs

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, BadBoy said:

Don't you just want to:...

Hang Up GIF - Hang Up The GIFs

Lol...😂😂😂😂😂😂💞💞💞💞

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The response of being belligerent shows you made the correct decision and that your instincts were correct. Of course you have the right to be selective it's your business and your right to conduct it the way that is best suited to you. Stick with the ones who want to have a good time and want you to have a good time too.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Bella Marie said:

Ok....so recently I have had a person want to see me and get belligerent with me because I wouldn't see them...This person continued then I proceeded to inform him that I'm a selective provider.... So my question is this.... Selective Providing ok or not?.... Apparently some people feel that a person in my position isn't allowed this right.....

You have every right to operate your service in the way that best suits you.  Personally, I've always been so gratified by my work I've occasionally felt a bit guilty taking money for it. 

I've found the support for you, thus far, a bit surprising, (Not because of your position which I highly support) but because this Board has a very long and divided history of debate regarding service choices (age, weight, ethnicity, session perks) that asp's routinely make.  No "AA men" produces a very different response on the Board than does "I'm not going to see guys I don't like or know I'm not going to like".  In those threads, I've always wondered how in the world a John could think on the one hand, "I want an intimate personal service... just like everyone else gets." 

I think you should and ought to define yourself and what works and what doesn't in any job.  In this one, failure to do so could result in grievous damage.

Lastly, getting rejected by a hooker is the punch line for any number of male myth jokes. You did not elaborate, but it sounds like it did not go down well.  Rejection of any form is painful.   

 

 

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, Yorick said:

I don't want to hijack this thread.  Thought about starting a new one.....but this seems to fit here.

 

One of the reasons I keep coming back to TOB is that despite many of the contrarians who post from time to time, there seems to be a genuine respect between people here.

I may get tracked down and banned....but fuckit.

In the national men's forum on ECCIE there is a thread entitled "When the bitch refuses to see you." It is a very long thread.  So many boards seem to encourage an atmosphere of entitlement and misogyny. Clients are taught that treating a provider as a human being earns one the label "white knight."

I'm not stupid.  I'm cautious and generally take a defensive position on a few controversial subjects like screening.  But...doggone it...we need to stand up for people treating other people, provider and client alike, with the dignity and respect they are due as human beings.  This is why I (and the TOB community) generally rally around someone who has been treated the way Bella was.

And thats why I like this place.

Thank you... I believe NO MATTER what a person does...they deserve RESPECT....  Age/Gender/Race has nothing to to with WHO a person is...WHAT a person does for a living doesn't DEFINE them....HOW they treat others does...💋💋💋💋💋💋💝💝💝💝💝KISSES TO YOU ALL

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

we still don't know the whole story, was he a jerk from the beginning or just after you turned him down for whatever reason? 

sure you have the right to see who you want and who you do not, but I hear all the time how business is slow. just saying! 

go ahead flame away!

Edited by stevie-2249
-1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, stevie-2249 said:

we still don't know the whole story, was he a jerk from the beginning or just after you turned him down for whatever reason? 

sure you have the right to see who you want and who you do not, but I hear all the time how business is slow. 

Interesting points, but totally moot.

One of the annoying things about this business is that we guys don't always get to know the reasons we get turned down.  Personally, I wish we did...because I would use the info to better myself, where I could.  I have many defects (sigh) that I CAN'T correct.  Others, though, might use that knowledge to feed their anger.  

Just because business is slow does not mean you lose the right to apply any filter you wish to your potential clients.  Its not the fact that she's available, it's the fact that something made her decide........no.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Yorick said:

Interesting points, but totally moot.

One of the annoying things about this business is that we guys don't always get to know the reasons we get turned down.  Personally, I wish we did...because I would use the info to better myself, where I could.  I have many defects (sigh) that I CAN'T correct.  Others, though, might use that knowledge to feed their anger.  

Just because business is slow does not mean you lose the right to apply any filter you wish to your potential clients.  Its not the fact that she's available, it's the fact that something made her decide........no.

Thank you...regardless of whether business is slow my safety and comfort doesn't have a price tag.... Not all money is good money... The clientele I have seen is quality.... That is what I prefer to see...quality not quantity💋

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let them pound sand, love. Keep listening to your instincts!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is one of the things that reminds me it's Decriminalization not Legalization.  

Legalization doesn't mean just taxing everything they freakin' can, but controlling who can do what, with who, and when.  Can you imagine how shitty it would be if you weren't legally allowed to reject seeing this asshole?

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am conflicted. 

Everyone should be treated with respect, both provider & client. People should be able to choice their associations, who they serve & who they won't, using whatever rationale they wish. 

But civil rights and anti-discrimination laws say otherwise. Be thankful you're not a baker. 

Sorry you had to deal with an abusive individual, Bella. 

-----

As Furious said, legalization could change the dynamics of choice. 

Edited by Bit Banger
Responded to Furious's comment
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Bella Marie said:

Thank you...regardless of whether business is slow my safety and comfort doesn't have a price tag.... Not all money is good money... The clientele I have seen is quality.... That is what I prefer to see...quality not quantity💋

how do you know quality before you even meet the guy?

I used to deliver pizza while back and I would receive better tips from  a piece of junk run down house compared to a million dollar house, so judging is pretty tough to do. maybe you have just been lucky? 

I can't believe people are assholes from the get go and still think they would get a appointment.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, FuriousWeasel said:

This is one of the things that reminds me it's Decriminalization not Legalization.  

Legalization doesn't mean just taxing everything they freakin' can, but controlling who can do what, with who, and when.  Can you imagine how shitty it would be if you weren't legally allowed to reject seeing this asshole?

Well it's time and companionship, not a guarantee of sex. And actually, if you think about it, should this field ever legalize the recourse for shitty and threatening behavior especially if it's provable would likely fall in favor of the provider. Further, should it become legal a lot of the issues providers seemingly face would go out the window. Not all but a lot should disappear. 

Businesses do have the right to refuse service to people. Should I walk into a restaurant and get belligerent I'd likely be asked to leave. If I didn't then it would probably escalate to the cops being called and they asking me to leave. If I still refused then I'd likely be arrested in the best case scenario. So, we can drop the idea that people and businesses are forced to do too much beyond what they're comfortable with especially when their safety is at stake. 

This part isn't directed at you, but can we please not turn this into a civil rights discussion? Because if we decide to have that discussion then really, and I do mean REALLY think why those laws were put in place and what was achieved because of them. 

 

Edited by JoDoe27
1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.