fishndude57

My Ex-Wife...

40 posts in this topic

Has asked me to split a rehearsal bill with her. $5000, is that excessive for a rehearsal dinner? I don't know. Any wedding planners out there? I will be travelling to Boston. This is the same woman I came home one night and there was a Jag in the driveway, she used my SS#, only one of the reasons she's an ex. Thoughts on the dinner? 

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The number of people is a determining factor in the cost of the dinner along with location and menu. 
My brother just got married and the wedding was ultra fancy. My parents paid for the rehearsal dinner for 40 people and it was $1000.

If you can find out the details, you can see if what you would be paying for is worth it.  

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2 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

 I came home one night and there was a Jag in the driveway, she used my SS#, 

Grest taste in cars. Nothing wrong with driving a Jagure Fishndude57. 😁😁

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1 minute ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Grest taste in cars. Nothing wrong with driving a Jagure Fishndude57. 😁😁

Unless I didn't even look at it but bought it. Wait that's how I bought my last car too. Grooms rents are supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner by tradition I guess. $5k just seems a bit much, even for Boston. Somehow I gotta feeling I'm in a no win here. 

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2 minutes ago, fishndude57 said:

Unless I didn't even look at it but bought it. Wait that's how I bought my last car too. Grooms rents are supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner by tradition I guess. $5k just seems a bit much, even for Boston. Somehow I gotta feeling I'm in a no win here. 

Big possibility on that one Fishndude57!

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Dude 

The EX part of EX Wife means she is no longer your responsibility.  You are nucking futs if you help pay for her wedding to someone else.

Look up "CUCKOLD"

peace out.

Or maybe I misunderstood.  Is this for the benefit of progeny?  Then by all means, go halvsies with her on the ladder.

Later, you can give the 2500 bucks  you saved to the kids when they need the kind of help all young marrieds need.

Edited by Yorick
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It's your son's wedding, correct? You and your ex should be covering that dinner. Agree to pay half the rehearsal dinner cost, but only if you can speak to the caterer directly, and see the final bill.  

Do the right thing, as a parent. But, don't be conned by your ex.

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37 minutes ago, pfunk said:

It's your son's wedding, correct? You and your ex should be covering that dinner. Agree to pay half the rehearsal dinner cost, but only if you can speak to the caterer directly, and see the final bill.  

Do the right thing, as a parent. But, don't be conned by your ex.

^^ this ^^

Edited by Bit Banger
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9 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

Has asked me to split a rehearsal bill with her. $5000, is that excessive for a rehearsal dinner? I don't know. Any wedding planners out there? I will be travelling to Boston. This is the same woman I came home one night and there was a Jag in the driveway, she used my SS#, only one of the reasons she's an ex. Thoughts on the dinner? 

Fish, this seems extremely excessive for just a rehearsal dinner. I would definitely need to see the bill before I forked over that kind of money.

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59 minutes ago, pfunk said:

It's your son's wedding, correct? You and your ex should be covering that dinner. Agree to pay half the rehearsal dinner cost, but only if you can speak to the caterer directly, and see the final bill.  

Do the right thing, as a parent. But, don't be conned by your ex.

Correct, it's my son's Big Day. And yes it's a Big Deal to me and his ma. She's had a tough pull in this thing called life, and if she's gonna do her part, I'm gonna do mine with no comment. She had stage 3 colon cancer and I had to support her then, I see every reason to support her on this one too. However I will be asking for Red Robbin or something like that instead LOL.

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Coming from the queen of spending $$$ on services, excess, and indulgence, it sounds excessive to me as well.  I agree with Bit and Pfunk. Yikes!

 

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2 minutes ago, Audrey Astor said:

Coming from the queen of spending $$$ on services, excess, and indulgence, it sounds excessive to me as well.  I agree with Bit and Pfunk. Yikes!

 

Agreed, means I gotta participate, thinkin that's the best attitude to take here, starting tomorrow! Too busy today!

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First question is, "How many people are invited?"  A reasonable guess would be 25-30 when you add the wedding party + dates. At $100/plate that's $3K. 

Next question is, "Where is the bride from?" Jamaica Plains or Beacon Hill? What are the bride's tastes?  

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8 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

Unless I didn't even look at it but bought it. Wait that's how I bought my last car too. Grooms rents are supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner by tradition I guess. $5k just seems a bit much, even for Boston. Somehow I gotta feeling I'm in a no win here. 

Call the place yourself on where the rehearsal is supposed to be and find out. Why give the money to the ex? Sounds like she is fish'n for a little alimony. ;)

xoxo,

Samantha

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Whew i was going to say I'm not paying the EX for anything, but for my kid's no problem to me it's a no brainier, but would like to see the bill as to why it's a 5k dinner. And then kick my kid in the chin and say 5k for dinner WTF how many are we feeding and I'm taking home the left overs.

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1 hour ago, Yorick said:

Dude 

The EX part of EX Wife means she is no longer your responsibility.  You are nucking futs if you help pay for her wedding to someone else.

 

  He made it clear that it is his son's wedding.

 

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10 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

Has asked me to split a rehearsal bill with her. $5000, is that excessive for a rehearsal dinner? I don't know. Any wedding planners out there? 

   How many people will be at the rehearsal dinner and whats being served ??    If you two are splitting 5 grand between you ? or is that $5 grand each ? If that's each..she better thrown in some free BJs while you are in Boston.

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Do you have a daughter or two too Dude?  Those weddings are really really going to hurt.  $$$$$$$

Have a good time in Baaston!

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12 minutes ago, SultryKitten said:

Call the place yourself on where the rehearsal is supposed to be and find out. Why give the money to the ex? Sounds like she is fish'n for a little alimony. ;)

xoxo,

Samantha

Oh the ex won't be the recipient of any $$. We're splitting whatever bill, the brides parents are paying for the wedding, noooo idea how big this party is gonna be. I do know I'll be on my best behavior while there tho. Actually looking forward to the cuisine. 

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36 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

First question is, "How many people are invited?"  A reasonable guess would be 25-30 when you add the wedding party + dates. At $100/plate that's $3K. 

Add in wine, liquor, gratuity, adds up quick. High-end prix fixe with the wine will set you back $150-200/head, easy.

Not been to one of these in years, and memory is vague, but, could also be dealing with things like centerpieces?

Last wedding I went to, had like ten maids of honor and groomsmen on each side! As mentioned, add in dates, parents, grands, uncles, aunts, etc, head count can really go through the roof.

Edited by NoCoGeezer
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Ok 5k wtf? So, yes tradition says grooms parents fit the bill for rehearsal. So, is this a case of keeping up with the Jones's? If the brides parents are spending a crap ton on the wedding, your ex may be trying to not look cheap. Or, is your ex trying to one up the brides parents? Either way, don't go to Red Robin!!! I'd be mortified. You can ask to keep the size of the party to a minimum. Depends on the number of people. Out of town guests will expect to be there. Your ex might also be saying it's that amount just to be safe, like this is the budget. You gotta think gratuity as well. 

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33 minutes ago, Melissa Sterling said:

Ok 5k wtf? So, yes tradition says grooms parents fit the bill for rehearsal. So, is this a case of keeping up with the Jones's? If the brides parents are spending a crap ton on the wedding, your ex may be trying to not look cheap. Or, is your ex trying to one up the brides parents? Either way, don't go to Red Robin!!! I'd be mortified. You can ask to keep the size of the party to a minimum. Depends on the number of people. Out of town guests will expect to be there. Your ex might also be saying it's that amount just to be safe, like this is the budget. You gotta think gratuity as well. 

Ya, that is the budget amount. Lots of good feedback here, doesn't sound like $5k is excessive any more. Ouch. Gonna take a lot of these suggestions and run with them. Nah she's not trying to one up, he actually planned this whole thing with her rents, even going as far as flying to them for permission, and grabbed gamma's ring, and had reset while incorporating the band, for his fiancé's ring.

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1 hour ago, fishndude57 said:

Ya, that is the budget amount. Lots of good feedback here, doesn't sound like $5k is excessive any more. 

  You'll just have to cut back on your monthly quota of escort dates for a decade. 

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13 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

Has asked me to split a rehearsal bill with her. $5000, is that excessive for a rehearsal dinner? I don't know. Any wedding planners out there? I will be travelling to Boston. This is the same woman I came home one night and there was a Jag in the driveway, she used my SS#, only one of the reasons she's an ex. Thoughts on the dinner? 

When I agree to be accountable for the results, but elect to be uninvolved in both the process details and the outcome, I have no right to beef.  

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13 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

Has asked me to split a rehearsal bill with her. $5000, is that excessive for a rehearsal dinner? I don't know. Any wedding planners out there? I will be travelling to Boston. This is the same woman I came home one night and there was a Jag in the driveway, she used my SS#, only one of the reasons she's an ex. Thoughts on the dinner? 

1) Unless you agreed to this beforehand, it's pretty ballsy of her to ask.  2) If you agreed beforehand in concept, but elected to delegate both the process and outcomes to your ex (with apparently full and painful knowledge of her spending habits!!!),  it's an expensive lesson, but you've got no one to blame but the guy who's teeth you brush, 3) Personally, if this was a complete surprise to me, I'd spend some time thinking about my relationship with my adult son.

Have a lovely flight.   

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Fish'n Guy - You are getting off so easy! If the rehearsal dinner is going to be $5,000, the wedding is probably going to be three times that, maybe 10 times that. And you say that all you need to do to launch your pride and joy, and get off on a good foot with the new inlaws is cough up $2,500?

Dude, super deal! Step up, puff out your chest and say, "all I care about is you folks having a good time! Drinks are on me!"

My poor brother in law, with two daughters, just dropped "well north of $100,000" on the first wedding (it was spectacular!)

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4 hours ago, JRWolfe said:

  He made it clear that it is his son's wedding.

 

he didn't for awhile

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