Sexielexy

Gentleman you might want to not read this

23 posts in this topic

So the other night I had my favorite thing to eat as a snack. I was so excited to have found the kind I personally love. I got a little greedy, and ate way too many. I'm so embarrassed on the date I had. We live and we learn I suppose. 

Good vibes xo

fart-1.gif

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Or it could've smelt like this which is my favorite!

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Years ago, I scheduled an appointment with a provider. On my way to her I stopped by a cheap local taco place. I immediately regretted this. Oh boy, I said, I feel the thunder from down under coming on. 

At the provider's crib, I immediately excuse myself and go to her bathroom. I've barely sat down, when I hear this plonk plonk plonk. It sounds like a RAF Lancaster bomber dropping payload on Nazi Dresden. Desperate, I try to use the plunger to wrestle this gigantic fecal python down the drain. While I'm doing this another massive explosion exits my lower intestines. Now the bathroom looks like a Jackson Pollock painting.

I carefully open the door...the provider looks at me with this horrified look on her face. I mumble something about being really sorry, throw her a few Jacksons and bust it out of there. 

I can still hear the provider's wailing and screaming.....True story.....;)

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Thank you so much for the laugh!!!!! I was for real stressing about it as I was so embarrassed. I'll choose better things to eat next time. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😅

Edited by Sexielexy
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Ahh, the winds of heaven.

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5 hours ago, 2Big said:

True story.....;)

Image result for pigs fly meme

I did laugh, though! 

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5 hours ago, 2Big said:

Years ago, I scheduled an appointment with a provider. On my way to her I stopped by a cheap local taco place. I immediately regretted this. Oh boy, I said, I feel the thunder from down under coming on. 

At the provider's crib, I immediately excuse myself and go to her bathroom. I've barely sat down, when I hear this plonk plonk plonk. It sounds like a RAF Lancaster bomber dropping payload on Nazi Dresden. Desperate, I try to use the plunger to wrestle this gigantic fecal python down the drain. While I'm doing this another massive explosion exits my lower intestines. Now the bathroom looks like a Jackson Pollock painting.

I carefully open the door...the provider looks at me with this horrified look on her face. I mumble something about being really sorry, throw her a few Jacksons and bust it out of there. 

I can still hear the provider's wailing and screaming.....True story.....;)

😂 oh my gawd, I can't stop laughing!!!!! This is some of your funnier stuff, but I've always been a fan. 

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6 hours ago, 2Big said:

Years ago, I scheduled an appointment with a provider. On my way to her I stopped by a cheap local taco place. I immediately regretted this. Oh boy, I said, I feel the thunder from down under coming on. 

At the provider's crib, I immediately excuse myself and go to her bathroom. I've barely sat down, when I hear this plonk plonk plonk. It sounds like a RAF Lancaster bomber dropping payload on Nazi Dresden. Desperate, I try to use the plunger to wrestle this gigantic fecal python down the drain. While I'm doing this another massive explosion exits my lower intestines. Now the bathroom looks like a Jackson Pollock painting.

I carefully open the door...the provider looks at me with this horrified look on her face. I mumble something about being really sorry, throw her a few Jacksons and bust it out of there. 

I can still hear the provider's wailing and screaming.....True story.....;)

I would love to read the review rebuttal from this. :D 

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2 hours ago, Sexielexy said:

No we call them fluffys 😊

Fluffys! 

I LOVE IT!

 

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50 minutes ago, boink36 said:

I would love to read the review rebuttal from this. :D 

"... ServPro refused to enter the home, and that's after they cleaned up a murder scene in the ghetto ... Amazon ran out of Lysol ... Just condemned the house like it was Chernobyl..."

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5 minutes ago, FuriousWeasel said:

"... ServPro refused to enter the home, and that's after they cleaned up a murder scene in the ghetto ... Amazon ran out of Lysol ... Just condemned the house like it was Chernobyl..."

In other news two employees of ServPro where found dead in a home east of........................................:D

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17 minutes ago, FuriousWeasel said:

"... ServPro refused to enter the home, and that's after they cleaned up a murder scene in the ghetto ... Amazon ran out of Lysol ... Just condemned the house like it was Chernobyl..."

Omg 😂😂🤣🤣 That's too funny Weasel 

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I just had one of our friends swing by for early Sunday 10am suds, and drop a bomb...does that count? Not the 1st time she's done it either. Too funny.

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9 hours ago, Sexielexy said:

So the other night I had my favorite thing to eat as a snack. I was so excited to have found the kind I personally love. I got a little greedy, and ate way too many. I'm so embarrassed on the date I had. We live and we learn I suppose. 

Good vibes xo

fart-1.gif

OMG! I just went through it. LOL. Except Both my Date and Myself had issues. Do NOT eat at the Chili's on the 16street mall if your with a client!! We both were so mortified that our stomachs had their own Choir we tried to laugh it off. But both knew our date was over :(

 

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8 hours ago, 2Big said:

 

I carefully open the door...the provider looks at me with this horrified look on her face. I mumble something about being really sorry, throw her a few Jacksons and bust it out of there. 

I can still hear the provider's wailing and screaming.....True story.....;)

  can't be a true story...you left without busting a nut !!!

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This thread is proof that we're all just people when you get right down to it.

PS SexiLexi...I think this is actually a fetish and some sub -culture of guys fork over big time to listen to the song of the Butt Trumpet!😜

Edited by Johnny Tsunami
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7 hours ago, Sexielexy said:

No we call them fluffys 😊

No darling...they are what we call down south....clouds of roses with sprinkles of fairy dust💋💋💋💋💋

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7 hours ago, Bella Marie said:

No darling...they are what we call down south....clouds of roses with sprinkles of fairy dust💋💋💋💋💋

And ladies ONLY offer cloud experience when exxxtremly turned on ;) ya know when IT really counts 

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😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

It's an experience I'm sure won't be smelt again. 

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For some reason, reading this thread puts into my head the song, "Puff The Magic Dragon"

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