TrystinTrimble

I'm not sure what to do these days...

63 posts in this topic

5 hours ago, Admiral C said:

Well I tell ya. I have a legitimate business that works on hourly appointments...albeit less per hour than yours. I have 15 or so regular appointments per week, and you know what? Fuckery, thats what.  Reschedules, cancels, no-shows, requests to reschedule on weekend days off. The last time I had a week go entirely as scheduled was in February of 2014. What we have is an ever growing percentage of the population that is spoiled, entitled, incompetent, deceptive, unreliable, non-committal,  etc.  These are the results of the social experiment of undisciplined children who's whims are indulged, now becoming a daily growing % of the ADULT population. The generation of Fuckery. I'm sorry but it is only going to get worse.

Actually, I am in a similar situation, where I set appointments and about 25% no show. I respectfully disagree that it is generational, 60 and 70 year olds are as bad as 30 year olds. I think the entire nation has descended into a completely self-absorbed, selfish mindset. Beginning about 20-25 years ago, it became fashionable to be self centered. My dad wouldn't recognize the country he volunteered to give his life for.

Edited by BadBoy
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On 7/21/2017 at 1:09 PM, Mr.Pink said:

i'am not the one who's business sucks, perhaps a new line of work would be a better option for you.

The only reason our business "sucks" as you so elegantly said it...well it's because of all the guys who patronize our business yet think we should not be considered a business and that it's not a real job. It's not the right thing to do, for me to jump ship and be the one who's gotta just throw it all out. In a perfect world, the women who do this rather neat thing for guys who want such excitement would not be subjected to as much disgusting language, dodgy bullshitting, and mostly just the general attitude of "I dont have time to read ANY of your ad, but I expect to be alone with you and trusted completely... but Really you should just get a job that gives you full recourse to hold me accountable or I am gonna be as unfriendly to YOU as I WANT to be to ALL women because you can't really do much about it. But hey let's DO THIS, BABE. IF I even show, that is."  

 

In a perfect world though...

Edited by TrystinTrimble
Meh
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On 7/21/2017 at 3:49 PM, Mr.Pink said:

just trying to make a friendly suggestion and i get snarky response..... :mellow:

It's just not that friendly to say that the best solution is for me to get a job where Im not such a second class citizen.  Imagine if we made a friendly suggeston for minorities to just move to the back of the bus. Or...imagine if the guys who don't think they should shape up...suddenly decided to talk to us/deal with us like we were someone's wife/sister/daughter. I can handle a certain level of assclownery but it''s being constantly seen as people who aren't worth...well...people that makes it not my place to just change it all for. It's simply not my responsibility to make way for their behavior to continue on more absorbent people. I can't just let those unacceptable ones run me off. 

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18 minutes ago, Mr.Pink said:

my apologies for the dick statement, i wish you only the best.

That's one respectable response :) we are all human and I'm sure you didn't mean it to be insulting...

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10 hours ago, TrystinTrimble said:

That's one respectable response :)we are all human and I'm sure you didn't mean it to be insulting...

Don't be so sure of that! :eek::D

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9 hours ago, TrystinTrimble said:

The only reason our business "sucks" as you so elegantly said it...well it's because of all the guys who patronize our business yet think we should not be considered a business and that it's not a real job. It's not the right thing to do, for me to jump ship and be the one who's gotta just throw it all out. In a perfect world, the women who do this rather neat thing for guys who want such excitement would not be subjected to as much disgusting language, dodgy bullshitting, and mostly just the general attitude of "I dont have time to read ANY of your ad, but I expect to be alone with you and trusted completely... but Really you should just get a job that gives you full recourse to hold me accountable or I am gonna be as unfriendly to YOU as I WANT to be to ALL women because you can't really do much about it. But hey let's DO THIS, BABE. IF I even show, that is."  

 

In a perfect world though...

This is probably the crux of the issue.  People can do this because they can.  There is no recourse and your left hope that common courtesy will prevail.  Too bad there isn't a deposit system for all the appointment trades.  Cant make it? - no problem... would you like to put down another $50 and reschedule your next appointment now or later?

"In a perfect world though..."   while your at - legalize and decriminalize please. 

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Online escrow service would be interesting.  Once the money has been put in escrow the appt could be scheduled.  Show up at the door, once things are good, simply whip out the phone and release the funds.

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Sorry to hear your having a rough time of it.

so an idea occurred to me. Now I'm still a newbie so I may have no idea what I'm talking about, but maybe if you ladies like the idea, perhaps petition TOB to add a new provider only feature, a mini questionnaire that you could fill out after an appointment with a new client that is a TOB member. Was the client on time? If not did he call to let you know? Did the client cancel, did he call to let you know or was it a NCNS? Any rude or disrespectful behavior? When the person wishing to see you shares their references you can open their stats and see if they have a high rate of NCNS or the like, and be able to make a more informed desicion on if you would like to let them make an appiontment, much like the reviews we gentalmen use to chose who we would like to see. I think such a feature would pull more providers to TOB, as it seems to me to be a feature that is desiarable, weed out the repeate offenders that are causeing you ladies issues, and reward hobbies that care about making our appt. ( good stats that put you providers at easy and make it easier to get an appt.) 

just an idea, and you would need to get TOB on board to make it happen obviously ( doable if it is a paid service on the provider side as it will help keep their paying customers happy and possibly attract new clientel, but less so if it is free and someone is just running the site out of a love for the hobby)

what do you all think?

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14 hours ago, FuriousWeasel said:

Online escrow service would be interesting.  Once the money has been put in escrow the appt could be scheduled.  Show up at the door, once things are good, simply whip out the phone and release the funds.

then we can set up an escrow service for drug dealers after that as well. Maury

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3 hours ago, Mr.Pink said:

then we can set up an escrow service for drug dealers after that as well. Maury

Don't you just love how they are always "working their way" towards you? For like...4 days?

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On July 23, 2017 at 0:16 AM, TrystinTrimble said:

It's just not that friendly to say that the best solution is for me to get a job where Im not such a second class citizen.  Imagine if we made a friendly suggeston for minorities to just move to the back of the bus. Or...imagine if the guys who don't think they should shape up...suddenly decided to talk to us/deal with us like we were someone's wife/sister/daughter. I can handle a certain level of assclownery but it''s being constantly seen as people who aren't worth...well...people that makes it not my place to just change it all for. It's simply not my responsibility to make way for their behavior to continue on more absorbent people. I can't just let those unacceptable ones run me off. 

You've put a great deal of thought into your chosen profession and in reading between the lines I can tell how dissatisfied you are. No one can make you a second-class citizen without your consent regardless of what you do for a living.  You're obviously highly intelligent and somewhat idealistic (and I mean that as a compliment) but it seems to me this is a reflection of the overall degradation of our society and not necessarily a personal attack on you or on adult service providers in general.

I've heard similar complaints from my friends in the travel and leisure industry in regards to rude, unacceptable behavior from customers who look down on them and use them for a bargain vacation. Pick any service industry profession and you'll hear a similar story of how clients are unholy A-Holes out to use YOU for their gain regardless of your feelings, level of intelligence, personal circumstances or the well thought out wording of your advertisement.

I wish you well as you navigate through the BS and find your Namaste

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On 7/22/2017 at 10:46 PM, TrystinTrimble said:

That's one respectable response :) we are all human and I'm sure you didn't mean it to be insulting...

Not true, many of you ladies are damn near angelic!

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Wow... This is just like dating now. The pretty girls were always so jaded by the douchebags the couldn't see the nice guys.

Now even in the world of pay for play the douchebags are finding a way to ruin it.

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2 hours ago, decafnaetd said:

Wow... This is just like dating now. The pretty girls were always so jaded by the douchebags the couldn't see the nice guys.

Now even in the world of pay for play the douchebags are finding a way to ruin it.

Oh I do see the nice guys...and they're the ones that never once tell me "hey, I'm a NICE guy! Don't lump me in with those jerks!" Funnily enough,  this statement is most often tacked on to the end of something crass, entitled, or plain mean. It's so they feel better about their own indifference towards my boundaries.

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Sorry to hear! Everytime I come back to this world it changes again (stopped for 5 years) came back again and everything changed.  I guess we all must do our best to think positive. Do not add anger or worry for the future. You know you are capable of taking care of yourself. Hold tight onto your thoughts and allow them to guide you to greatness! 

Sending light your way! 

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23 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Sorry to hear! Everytime I come back to this world it changes again (stopped for 5 years) came back again and everything changed.  I guess we all must do our best to think positive. Do not add anger or worry for the future. You know you are capable of taking care of yourself. Hold tight onto your thoughts and allow them to guide you to greatness! 

Sending light your way! 

Life is change...how it differs from the rocks... You already KNOW that everything in our universe is constantly in motion. All is fluid...all is change.

 

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4 minutes ago, Admiral C said:

Life is change...how it differs from the rocks... You already KNOW that everything in our universe is constantly in motion. All is fluid...all is change.

 

Admiral C~ Yes it is true we are all connected by the Universal Mind. 

“Emotional baggage,” which is carried over from the past, colors our perceptions. Likewise, past conclusions and beliefs, based on reasoning that may or may not have been accurate, also tint our perception of reality. Retaining our capacity for reason is common sense, but definite conclusions and beliefs keep us from seeing life as it really is at any given moment.

Emotional reactions can be unreasonable, and reason can be flawed. It’s difficult to have deep confidence in either one, especially when they’re often at war with each other. But the universal mind exists in the instant, in a moment beyond time, and it sees the universe as it literally is. It’s the universe perceiving itself. It is, moreover, something we can have absolute confidence in, and with that confidence, we can maintain a genuinely positive attitude.” 
― H.E. Davey, Japanese Yoga: The Way of Dynamic Meditation

You know I have been through so much, just like the rest of you! Just knowing a great deal about Eastern Arts/human nature/EGO it all is in there and it does have a way of clouding the true self. I found something else I thought was really a good read. 

Quotes tagged as "universal-mind" (showing 1-17 of 17)

“Emotional baggage,” which is carried over from the past, colors our perceptions. Likewise, past conclusions and beliefs, based on reasoning that may or may not have been accurate, also tint our perception of reality. Retaining our capacity for reason is common sense, but definite conclusions and beliefs keep us from seeing life as it really is at any given moment.

Emotional reactions can be unreasonable, and reason can be flawed. It’s difficult to have deep confidence in either one, especially when they’re often at war with each other. But the universal mind exists in the instant, in a moment beyond time, and it sees the universe as it literally is. It’s the universe perceiving itself. It is, moreover, something we can have absolute confidence in, and with that confidence, we can maintain a genuinely positive attitude.” 
― H.E. Davey, Japanese Yoga: The Way of Dynamic Meditation

tags: emotion, ki, meditation, mind, nakamura-tempu, positive-attitude, reason, shin-shin-toitsu-do,universal-mind, yoga

45 likes

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“The undiscovered is not far away. It’s not something to be found eventually. It is contained within what is right in front of us. The essence of reality is being born right now. It has never existed before. Reality is constant creation and destruction, and in this constant change is something unborn and undying, something that cannot be approached through the known or the past. It isn’t seen through striving to become something based on ideals stemming from former experiences. It comes to that which is being, not striving. In this state of being in the moment, without the known, without knowing at all, with neither past nor future, is a space that is not filled with time. And in this space, the undiscovered and ever-changing moment exists—a moment containing all possibilities, the totality of existence, absolute reality. Reality is now, and in the now, we can experience the true nature of the universe and the universal mind.” 
― H.E. Davey

tags: ki, meditation, nakamura-tempu, now, present-moment, reality, universal-mind, universe, yoga

 

“Murky Water, Dusty Mirror

Murky water is turbid; let it settle and it clears. A dusty mirror is dim; clean it and it is bright.

What I realize as I observe this is the Tao of clarifying the mind and perceiving its essence.

The reason why people's minds are not clear and their natures are not stable is that they are full of craving and emotion. Add to this eons of mental habit, acquired influences deluding the mind, their outgrowths clogging up the opening of awareness - this is like water being murky, like a mirror being dusty. The original true mind and true essence are totally lost. The feelings and senses are unruly, subject to all kinds of influences, taking in all sorts of things, defiling the mind.

If one can suddenly realize this and change directions, wash away pollution and contamination, gradually remove a lifetime of biased mental habits, wandering thoughts and perverse actions, increasing in strength with persistence, refining away the dross until there is nothing more to be refined away, when the slag is gone the gold is pure. The original mind and fundamental essence will spontaneously appear in full, the light of wisdom will suddenly arise, and one will clearly see the universe as though it were in the palm of the hand, with no obstruction.

This is like murky water returning to clarity when settled, like a dusty mirror being restored to brightness when polished. That which is fundamental is as ever: without any lack.” 
― Liu Yiming, Awakening to the Tao

Sending blessings for a better future in hopes that you might be able to find your sunshine! 

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9 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Admiral C~ Yes it is true we are all connected by the Universal Mind. 

“Emotional baggage,” which is carried over from the past, colors our perceptions. Likewise, past conclusions and beliefs, based on reasoning that may or may not have been accurate, also tint our perception of reality. Retaining our capacity for reason is common sense, but definite conclusions and beliefs keep us from seeing life as it really is at any given moment.

Emotional reactions can be unreasonable, and reason can be flawed. It’s difficult to have deep confidence in either one, especially when they’re often at war with each other. But the universal mind exists in the instant, in a moment beyond time, and it sees the universe as it literally is. It’s the universe perceiving itself. It is, moreover, something we can have absolute confidence in, and with that confidence, we can maintain a genuinely positive attitude.” 
― H.E. Davey, Japanese Yoga: The Way of Dynamic Meditation

You know I have been through so much, just like the rest of you! Just knowing a great deal about Eastern Arts/human nature/EGO it all is in there and it does have a way of clouding the true self. I found something else I thought was really a good read. 

Quotes tagged as "universal-mind" (showing 1-17 of 17)

“Emotional baggage,” which is carried over from the past, colors our perceptions. Likewise, past conclusions and beliefs, based on reasoning that may or may not have been accurate, also tint our perception of reality. Retaining our capacity for reason is common sense, but definite conclusions and beliefs keep us from seeing life as it really is at any given moment.

Emotional reactions can be unreasonable, and reason can be flawed. It’s difficult to have deep confidence in either one, especially when they’re often at war with each other. But the universal mind exists in the instant, in a moment beyond time, and it sees the universe as it literally is. It’s the universe perceiving itself. It is, moreover, something we can have absolute confidence in, and with that confidence, we can maintain a genuinely positive attitude.” 
― H.E. Davey, Japanese Yoga: The Way of Dynamic Meditation

tags: emotion, ki, meditation, mind, nakamura-tempu, positive-attitude, reason, shin-shin-toitsu-do,universal-mind, yoga

45 likes

Like

 

“The undiscovered is not far away. It’s not something to be found eventually. It is contained within what is right in front of us. The essence of reality is being born right now. It has never existed before. Reality is constant creation and destruction, and in this constant change is something unborn and undying, something that cannot be approached through the known or the past. It isn’t seen through striving to become something based on ideals stemming from former experiences. It comes to that which is being, not striving. In this state of being in the moment, without the known, without knowing at all, with neither past nor future, is a space that is not filled with time. And in this space, the undiscovered and ever-changing moment exists—a moment containing all possibilities, the totality of existence, absolute reality. Reality is now, and in the now, we can experience the true nature of the universe and the universal mind.” 
― H.E. Davey

tags: ki, meditation, nakamura-tempu, now, present-moment, reality, universal-mind, universe, yoga

 

“Murky Water, Dusty Mirror

Murky water is turbid; let it settle and it clears. A dusty mirror is dim; clean it and it is bright.

What I realize as I observe this is the Tao of clarifying the mind and perceiving its essence.

The reason why people's minds are not clear and their natures are not stable is that they are full of craving and emotion. Add to this eons of mental habit, acquired influences deluding the mind, their outgrowths clogging up the opening of awareness - this is like water being murky, like a mirror being dusty. The original true mind and true essence are totally lost. The feelings and senses are unruly, subject to all kinds of influences, taking in all sorts of things, defiling the mind.

If one can suddenly realize this and change directions, wash away pollution and contamination, gradually remove a lifetime of biased mental habits, wandering thoughts and perverse actions, increasing in strength with persistence, refining away the dross until there is nothing more to be refined away, when the slag is gone the gold is pure. The original mind and fundamental essence will spontaneously appear in full, the light of wisdom will suddenly arise, and one will clearly see the universe as though it were in the palm of the hand, with no obstruction.

This is like murky water returning to clarity when settled, like a dusty mirror being restored to brightness when polished. That which is fundamental is as ever: without any lack.” 
― Liu Yiming, Awakening to the Tao

Sending blessings for a better future in hopes that you might be able to find your sunshine! 

Nothing is static. Time is not linear....."never has been"...lol....All is in motion. The essence of the collective. Knowing and accepting this is joy. Resisting it is struggle.

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9 hours ago, decafnaetd said:

Wow... This is just like dating now. The pretty girls were always so jaded by the douchebags the couldn't see the nice guys.

Now even in the world of pay for play the douchebags are finding a way to ruin it.

Its not just clients doing it doll....

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There's just too many guys pulling fuckery.

Who SAY they want hump hump and suckery.

They no call and no show

Short and bogus your dough

Why are they so damned mother fuckery?

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1 minute ago, Admiral C said:

There's just too many guys pulling fuckery.

Who SAY they want hump hump and suckery.

They no call and no show

Short and bogus your dough

Why are they so damned mother fuckery?

🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌💋

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2 hours ago, Admiral C said:

There's just too many guys pulling fuckery.

Who SAY they want hump hump and suckery.

They no call and no show

Short and bogus your dough

Why are they so damned mother fuckery?

You're feeling very limericky today!

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17 hours ago, Admiral C said:

Nothing is static. Time is not linear....."never has been"...lol....All is in motion. The essence of the collective. Knowing and accepting this is joy. Resisting it is struggle.

...Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was and look where my hand was
Time isn't holding up, time isn't after us
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Letting the days go by, same as it ever was...
 

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17 hours ago, Admiral C said:

Nothing is static. Time is not linear....."never has been"...lol....All is in motion. The essence of the collective. Knowing and accepting this is joy. Resisting it is struggle.

 

16 minutes ago, BadBoy said:

...Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was and look where my hand was
Time isn't holding up, time isn't after us
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Letting the days go by, same as it ever was...
 

Ecclesiastes 1New International Version (NIV)

The words of the Teacher,[a] son of David, king in Jerusalem:

“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
    says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
    Everything is meaningless.”

What do people gain from all their labors
    at which they toil under the sun?
Generations come and generations go,
    but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
    and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
    and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
    ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea,
    yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
    there they return again.
All things are wearisome,
    more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
    nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again,
    what has been done will be done again;
    there is nothing new under the sun.

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8 hours ago, decafnaetd said:

You're feeling very limericky today!

Was gonna say, damn Admiral! You take the cake and frosting! Now that was awesome! 

😘😘😍😍

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Trystin, very sorry to read about the bullshit you're dealing with! Trying to think of possible solutions to this (apparently rampant) problem makes me think naturally of the Blacklist. Where is this list, anyone know? And what kind of client info does it include? Do different sites have their own? Does TOB have one? Might it be worthwhile to include a reminder of this in one's add (I've seen one FBSM provider here do this, can't say I've really noticed others doing so) as a deterrent--you know, "play stupid fuck fuck games with me, such as ....and you'll end up on the Blacklist," something like that? (Though I suppose if every wanker who asked for more pics, cancelled at the last minute, sent some obscene comment, disrespected boundaries, and the like were sent to the Blacklist, not too many prospective clients would be left. Then again,  having only a small select pool there, the cream of the crop if you will, might be just the thing. ;) )

 

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I have only cancelled once and I sent the money to the provider as I had committed the time on her schedule and felt it impolite to do otherwise.  My preferred way to book is on 411, that said I have not booked through 411 in some time as I have found many providers do not even answer the messages.  These days it seems like text is the most common way to book.

Being on the client end of the equation, I can make an argument for life happens.  I have had my share of no-shows from providers and even had one call me to see if I was looking for any appointments... unsolicited... so it's not just on your end.  I the recommendation to not use your phone but 411 or forum PM's would be the first step.  

Other than ok's don't 411 or tob provide the same sort of review functionality of clients?  I guess I just always assumed they did. 

 

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