pointymoustache

Retirement – rhetorical

31 posts in this topic

I have been thinking about when I no longer wish to visit multiple providers, but don’t want to stop having my fun.  If I proposed the following would any of you ladies consider the proposition?  You retire from the hobby move in with me and dedicate your services to me.  I would provide ALL living expense (board, lodging, allowance for spending, etc). You would provide light domestic duties (cooking, light housekeeping, etc.) I hire a cleaning lady to do the heavy stuff including laundry you would have supervisor duties over her. I realize that I have ED and mostly can’t provide gratification, so as I have hobbied all this time I could not object if you did that on an as need basis (hobby rules no emotional engagement, condoms, etc.) I would not expect you to sit at home so whatever things you do  for entertainment you would continue.  I also subscribe to the DPCA, DCTC and pops symphony. You are obviously included as you wish.  In short we would be a couple.  Of course there would be a get to know each other period before we leap into the unknown, Any and all finances of yours would stay YOURS. Why a retired provider - because they understand men and cater to our desires.  My requirement are not excessive (three times a week would probably kill me in a year).  The emotional stuff may or may not happen we would be living togeather and who knows? - this is basically a business proposal.

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Does she have to ride a unicorn to interview or will you provide one? Sounds like mail order bride material to me. 😎 But maybe i am just being an asshole - happens sometimes. Good luck regardless - sincerely.

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I must admit, I have contemplated the OP's scenario myself.  Even in my own mind, I usually can't make it work. The numbers, the long term benefits, the potential for emotional entanglements, the need for outside entertainment, and how do you explain it to Mrs. Grundy.  All of these considerations have ramifications for both parties.  

So far I have been able to make it work for clearly defined, limited time engagements (4-6wks) with travel companions, but I haven't broached expanding to a full time arrangement. And I'm not sure I want to.

If I did, I would insist on an iron clad contract (prenuptial).

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52 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

Does she have to ride a unicorn to interview or will you provide one? Sounds like mail order bride material to me. 😎 But maybe i am just being an asshole - happens sometimes. Good luck regardless - sincerely.

An escort one has been seeing for several years is far more likely to be compatible than a mail order bride. 

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55 minutes ago, JRWolfe said:

OH...you want to be a sugar daddy.

I think the OP is contemplating a live-in companion. Not a mistress set up in her own digs. 

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4 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

I think the OP is contemplating a live-in companion. Not a mistress set up in her own digs. 

     Unless he wants a wife...good luck on that happening.

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Would never last. Take a tiger out of the jungle and  all you get is a cat. With a broken spirit. Sad.

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10 hours ago, tide32 said:

Would never last. Take a tiger out of the jungle and  all you get is a cat. With a broken spirit. Sad.

On the whole I agree with you, but I've seen it work once or twice. Part of it is that you can't put the tiger in a cage and the cat must want to leave the jungle for her own reasons. 

As for lasting, nothing lasts forever ☹️

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Nope just can't do it. Typed out a couple of long replies but the simple answer is just no. That doesn't sound like any fun. Kind of sounds like imprisonment.

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55 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

That doesn't sound like any fun. Kind of sounds like imprisonment.

I was thinking the same thing. Sounds more like a servant, than a partner...

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1 hour ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Nope just can't do it. Typed out a couple of long replies but the simple answer is just no. That doesn't sound like any fun. Kind of sounds like imprisonment.

Every time I went to type, I could only hear the refrain: "rub some lotion on it's skin."  

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11 minutes ago, Happymon said:

Every time I went to type, I could only hear the refrain: "rub some lotion on it's skin."  

Gives all new meaning to rub the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again 

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1 hour ago, Lucy Kitten said:

... That doesn't sound like any fun. Kind of sounds like imprisonment.

With the wrong couple - so true!

But the same can be said of many marriages at some point. Especially in a Western culture with a romantic view of marriage. But in Eastern cultures it might work because cultural expectations are different. I had a co-worker who first met his bride the day they got married. They seemed to have a happy arrangement; both worked at it, just like any good relationship. With the right couple it might work. 

From the OP: "Why a retired provider - because they understand men and cater to our desires."

For me the answer is because a provider is more likely to understand a hedonistic lifestyle, more likely to enjoy one herself. Oh, you might find a gal in a swingers' club, but 70+ single males aren't really in demand there. And eHarmony did not like my truthful answers. 

A pipe dream - for so many reasons. 

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2 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

With the wrong couple - so true!

But the same can be said of many marriages at some point. Especially in a Western culture with a romantic view of marriage. But in Eastern cultures it might work because cultural expectations are different. I had a co-worker who first met his bride the day they got married. They seemed to have a happy arrangement; both worked at it, just like any good relationship. With the right couple it might work. 

From the OP: "Why a retired provider - because they understand men and cater to our desires."

For me the answer is because a provider is more likely to understand a hedonistic lifestyle, more likely to enjoy one herself. Oh, you might find a gal in a swingers' club, but 70+ single males aren't really in demand there. And eHarmony did not like my truthful answers. 

A pipe dream - for so many reasons. 

This isn't marriage if he wants a wife he should get one. Paying for it makes someone an employee and you get zero control over their personal choices. 

We cater to desires for a living. Do you think that's what we want to do in our personal relationships. Nothing about this dream of servitude offers anything to the lady. And my dream isn't to retire just to serve the desires of one man. No fucking thank you. This dream is totally void of what the woman might actually want. Being a provider assumes nothing of personal choice. Providers aren't more likely to be anything because of their job.

When work and personal life are all one there is no escape.

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24 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Gives all new meaning to rub the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again 

Lucy....

He wanted cooking, too.

How are you at preparing liver?  Would you serve it with fava beans?  Maybe a nice chianti?

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6 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

This isn't marriage if he wants a wife he should get one. Paying for it makes someone an employee and you get zero control over their personal choices. 

We cater to desires for a living. Do you think that's what we want to do in our personal relationships. Nothing about this dream of servitude offers anything to the lady. And my dream isn't to retire just to serve the desires of one man. No fucking thank you. This dream is totally void of what the woman might actually want. Being a provider assumes nothing of personal choice. Providers aren't more likely to be anything because of their job.

When work and personal life are all one there is no escape.

1) If you get into a relationship and the other person pays all the bills, is that paying for it? Do you become an employee?

2) I said, "... more likely ..." As in more likely than the gal sitting in the next pew, or the schoolmarm you meet on OurTime. You may not like hedonism, but you at least understand the concept. 

3). Properly structured this 'dream' offers a lady many things. Security for one, possibly leisure, and probably a nest egg. Truth be told, every YL here should out live me. 

4) For this 'dream' to work there MUST be a cooperative relationship. (Something I strive for with my travel companions. I try to present choices, and listen to their suggestions, for daily entertainment.) It cannot be a dictatorial situation. 

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I'm probably being way too personal. Some people are truly happy being homebodies caring for their family and home. I am one. If you read the OP's profile, he is into gardening and such. There comes a time where companionship, and being with someone who's company you enjoy and can tolerate becomes more important than all that romance crap. I did not see anywhere where he indicated that he wanted someone around 24/7, or someone to cater completely to him. If more people were upfront with their wants/needs and negotiated this stuff prior to marriage, perhaps more relationships would stay intact. I don't see anything wrong with being assertive, honest, and stating what you want. More power to you!

Providers are typically caregivers. I think he is right on point when he says that we understand men better than civilian women.

Edited by Audrey Astor
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1 hour ago, Bit Banger said:

1) If you get into a relationship and the other person pays all the bills, is that paying for it? Do you become an employee?

2) I said, "... more likely ..." As in more likely than the gal sitting in the next pew, or the schoolmarm you meet on OurTime. You may not like hedonism, but you at least understand the concept. 

3). Properly structured this 'dream' offers a lady many things. Security for one, possibly leisure, and probably a nest egg. Truth be told, every YL here should out live me. 

4) For this 'dream' to work there MUST be a cooperative relationship. (Something I strive for with my travel companions. I try to present choices, and listen to their suggestions, for daily entertainment.) It cannot be a dictatorial situation. 

Don't call it business then the OP called it a business proposal which is the difference. All this would be different if he didnt call it a business proposal and didn't specifically say he wanted a pro. Don't confuse real relationships with business. If my partner pays the bills that's just awesome but it's not the same as buying a partner. 

The idea presented was was very much not about cooperating with a partner it was about purchasing one. 

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The OP did allow for the possibility of an emotional relationship. But you're right - he was making a business proposal.  One which you are obviously against, but which others might consider a good deal  

You are aware that "marriage" is at its core a business contract with two prime purposes: 1) providing for the welfare of offspring, & 2) the orderly transfer of wealth from one generation to the next.  

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Marriage is not a business contract. Your prime purposes for marriage are also flawed. You are aware that people get married and don't have kids and don't freak out but sometimes people even marry for love?

The OP sounded to me like he was trying to force an emotional connection, live with me, cook for me and don't catch feeling for anyone else. I don't see how giving up one's life for servitude is a good deal.

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Lucy

I'm certainly not looking to place anyone into servitude. Just a relationship which may or may not evolve into an emotional tie.  The lady would be free to do as she wished (said that in OP). I'm too old to be dating and wooing anyone.  Yes, the Senior Living Communities may or may not have eligible women, but I expect they are looking for emotional attachment and commitment.  I am NOT asking for commitment she is free to move on when she wishes I just want a companion, room mate and occasional physical exercises. I offer the things that make life livable without having to "work" for it in the hobby profession. Yes I'm probably still a JOHN with flaws, but I don't hit CONTROL or restrict your outside activities. 
servitude  NO, the god life MAYBE

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On 7/20/2017 at 1:49 PM, pointymoustache said:

I have been thinking about when I no longer wish to visit multiple providers, but don’t want to stop having my fun.  If I proposed the following would any of you ladies consider the proposition?  You retire from the hobby move in with me and dedicate your services to me.  I would provide ALL living expense (board, lodging, allowance for spending, etc). You would provide light domestic duties (cooking, light housekeeping, etc.) I hire a cleaning lady to do the heavy stuff including laundry you would have supervisor duties over her. I realize that I have ED and mostly can’t provide gratification, so as I have hobbied all this time I could not object if you did that on an as need basis (hobby rules no emotional engagement, condoms, etc.) I would not expect you to sit at home so whatever things you do  for entertainment you would continue.  I also subscribe to the DPCA, DCTC and pops symphony. You are obviously included as you wish.  In short we would be a couple.  Of course there would be a get to know each other period before we leap into the unknown, Any and all finances of yours would stay YOURS. Why a retired provider - because they understand men and cater to our desires.  My requirement are not excessive (three times a week would probably kill me in a year).  The emotional stuff may or may not happen we would be living togeather and who knows? - this is basically a business proposal.

 

No this is not a business proposal. That went out the window as you mentioned "couple" and living together. .

So which means u basically want a wife with out the papers. 

The meaning and desire of seeing an escort is to remain UNATTACHED.

Even sugar babies do not reside with their SD's. And nobody sleeps at their place of business when they clock out. Its no longer their place of employment but home too. 

 

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Oh and far as cleaning your toilets, doing your household chores in a home that I DO NOT OWN!

Well good luck with that. ;)

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20 minutes ago, Chrissy said:

No this is not a business proposal. That went out the window as you mentioned "couple" and living together. .

So which means u basically want a wife with out the papers. 

The meaning and desire of seeing an escort is to remain UNATTACHED.

Even sugar babies do not reside with their SD's. And nobody sleeps at their place of business when they clock out. Its no longer their place of employment but home too. 

 

It gave me a woodie just reading that!

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2 hours ago, pointymoustache said:

Lucy

I'm certainly not looking to place anyone into servitude. Just a relationship which may or may not evolve into an emotional tie.  The lady would be free to do as she wished (said that in OP). I'm too old to be dating and wooing anyone.  Yes, the Senior Living Communities may or may not have eligible women, but I expect they are looking for emotional attachment and commitment.  I am NOT asking for commitment she is free to move on when she wishes I just want a companion, room mate and occasional physical exercises. I offer the things that make life livable without having to "work" for it in the hobby profession. Yes I'm probably still a JOHN with flaws, but I don't hit CONTROL or restrict your outside activities. 
servitude  NO, the god life MAYBE

She would be free to do as she wishes except sexually? You mentioned no emotional attachments with others. Living with you is also a form of control in this scenario. How do you expect her to introduce you to her family and friends and explain why she's suddenly living with someone? Your offering work the same as we already you. Instead of multiple clients though it's one and it's 24/7, that's a lot of work. Would you offer health care? Retirement funds? Would pay her equal to what she was making as a provider? Can you offer a better quality of life?

Living with someone and doing their chores and being expected to perform is a huge commitment. There isn't anything that you mentioned that is really appealing to me, nothing about your fantasy that includes the future of whatever lady would agree to this. All about how it would service you but not really her.

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I agree that this does seem like a fantasy (I have had as well), when in reality it is more of a employee situation.  My question is - what is wrong with that?  It may be tough to find but I have had great relationships with employees in the past - granted not naked relationships but caring friendships developed none the less.  But I think both parties have to go into it knowing it is a quid pro quo thing.  (no - not a lotion thing... creepy).  I provide this and you receive this - no expectations of anything else.  (that's probably the fantasy part) 

Pointy was clear about it not being a 24/7 monogamous relationship and proposed a lot of freedom.  However - room and board is one thing but I think most providers love their freedom and this is NOT a benefit - there should be compensation involved on Mr Moustaches part.  I love living alone.  Someone would have to pay me to live with someone else... and I'm not cute enough for that.  

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Obviously, this sort of arrangement is not for everyone. Of the ladies responding we have 2 emphatic NOs and 1 maybe. The NOs both cite 'servitude' as a primary objection. 

Servitude? What does that really mean?  Some people (my wife among them) consider the concept of parenthood to be servitude and want nothing to do with it. Others (my 1st wife) see this servitude as their life's ambition. It depends on  your expectations.

How do people declare their expectations entering a relationship? One way is {ugly word alert} negotiation. The involved parties express their desires/goals and what they are willing to sacrifice to acquire/achieve them.  (It comes as no surprise that one of the NOs has expressed strong opposition to this topic before.) A little back & forth until both parties find the agreement acceptable.

The OP has laid out some of his expectations, but left many areas open ended. For instance, he has not mentioned shared or separate sleeping arrangements. I would assume that any respondents would articulate their needs. Perhaps a YL would like the opportunity & finances for additional education. Or to have sufficient funds for a business start-up. Just as in all relationships, business or personal, there are give & take situations and solutions.  

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Sounds too much like a relationship to me 😖 Yuck, lol. It's a nice proposal though to the right woman so I hope you can find the right girl for the job 😘

Cali 🌹

Edited by Cali Rose
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