Guest

Question for providers....

60 posts in this topic

45 minutes ago, FuriousWeasel said:

I do appreciate posts like this that give good discussions in how to behave in this hobby.  Gets a lot of good points brought up by folks, pros, cons, different ways of looking at things.  The comments about seeing someone only once a year?  That's great, never occurred to me that being an issue!  On the other hand, I've seen the, well, not heartbreak, but a certain not so good feeling on a gals face when presented with exactly what Bella's describing in the OP, when a reference call comes in for someone who got a 30 min appointment a year ago, and she's spent more time confirming the reference than the appointment lasted. 

That's why the OKs on p411, and references on TOB are useful?  Do providers find it useful enough to look at a guys profile and see "Ok, he's seen 6 providers, he's good?"  

And the guideline is basically references get stale after 4-6 months, and that should cover almost all circumstances.  I'm sure there's a few guys who go longer in between meetings, but the majority of times, this should be OK.  And contact the provider first to say "Hey, I'd like to use you as a reference for me seeing X, is that OK?" is good protocol to follow? 

Are these questions or statements?  If a provider is looking at the number of OKs and not the source they're doing themselves a disservice. How long did it take to acquire those 6 OKs? Who are they from? Are the accounts still active? Are any of them recent enough for a provider to provide a decent reference?

It's unfortunate for those guys who go long stretches but they need to figure out a better way to keep their references fresh. The four to six month rule on references in my opinion at least should be universal. After six months details get fuzzy and people change. I don't accept or give references outside that six month period. It's just wise. It's not personal but a guy who has stale references should not be OK. He should have to start the process over. Makes it easier when everyone is held to the same standards. Like renewing a DL or something similar, we know you but we need to be reminded that you know what you're doing and that everything is up to date.

Then there are the guys that take advantage of the OK. I want to keep my peers safe but there comes a limit. If a client is using one visit with a provider for more than two references it becomes problematic, that provider could be the only good ref that client has, it always feels like you're being taken advantage of and eventually the service provided outweighs the income made.

I have a love/hate relationship with references. They're not at all discreet and they're far from fool proof. I have been asked on more than one occasion to be that reference for a guy trying to get back in the game. I know haven't seen you in years Lucy, because life has been crazy,  but we had a great time and could I please use you as a reference? The answer to that is no. It's not fair for me to gamble the safety of others in that way.

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, Kandi Apple said:

This happens quite often and I have no problem calling the gentleman and telling them "hey I am not a personal secretary" . Please refrain from using me as a reference as I have gave plenty to you and you can use a lady that you met recently.

I give references but as long as they are a consistent client will I give repeated references. This keeps the reference recent.

If I have not seen a gentleman in over a year I am honest about the date when we met to the inquiring lady. 

A response is always a good thing weather it is good or bad, recent or old, the lady appreciates the fact that there is a response.

For me I like the meeting to be with 6 or 8 months of the reference request.

I'm digging the OK system here. Like P411's. You can give me an ok, then who I see after won't need to bother you. Works well all around. Some girls might want to dig deeper and call you. That's cool. But it's not gonna be all of them. Or even most. 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 hours ago, Bella Marie said:

Ok ladies,

So have anyone else had this issue...

You see a client once and they continue to ask for a reference but never return?....

If there wasn't a connection that's ok.... Be honest.... I am reference friendly but I don't like feeling like I'm just a stepping stone... I have no problems giving references but please be honest when you say you really enjoyed yourself and can't wait to see me again..... Ok...done ranting....ladies?.....anyone else?

This happens all the time and although I'm happy to give references it can get annoying. Especially from the guys that saw me once over a year ago. 😒

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/19/2017 at 4:34 PM, Laci French said:

If I had a dick I would be dangerous.  This is like a candy store and I just don't get offended when the men try out all the other flavors.  

He probably had a great time and after making the rounds will return.  

 

I think of this like ice cream or pizza, there are so many different combos and flavors available. I could get Mint Chocolate Chip every day, but I might see Rocky Road and think it looks good. It doesn't mean I hated Rocky Road, it just looked good that particular day. I have clients that were one and done, we had a good time, but they'd rather see their regular gal or they just were in the mood for me on this day.   If I too had a dick I would be dangerous, I just want to try every flavor. 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It took me a while to figure out Bellas Op I'm feeling about as smart as 2 Snapple caps today. I'm still kinda new to all this but have been with some of the great ladies of TOB, and I'm sticking to that. I just assumed that when requesting a reference on here or P411 it was just that he is ok not a dick, douche etc I have not idea whats in the back ground shit it might be that sob is ok but one ugly dude, he is fast etc

I would never see any one that would need to call a provider to dbl check my info I have always thought that any ok on 411 and here was a enough, and so far has been for me. i would be embarrassed having some one calling for a reference, but I guess that is kinda the norm.

 

I don't know how any one would be able to keep track of that.( Oh yeah i remember him) 

 

Being kinda new I'm one of those guys still searching for the so call ATF, which i would like very much, and I only get around about every 4-6 weeks in the winter in the summer could be longer I'm to busy being outdoors fishing, camping, concerts, shit just doing CO stuff

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/20/2017 at 7:39 AM, FuriousWeasel said:

I do appreciate posts like this that give good discussions in how to behave in this hobby.  Gets a lot of good points brought up by folks, pros, cons, different ways of looking at things.  The comments about seeing someone only once a year?  That's great, never occurred to me that being an issue!  On the other hand, I've seen the, well, not heartbreak, but a certain not so good feeling on a gals face when presented with exactly what Bella's describing in the OP, when a reference call comes in for someone who got a 30 min appointment a year ago, and she's spent more time confirming the reference than the appointment lasted. 

That's why the OKs on p411, and references on TOB are useful?  Do providers find it useful enough to look at a guys profile and see "Ok, he's seen 6 providers, he's good?"  

And the guideline is basically references get stale after 4-6 months, and that should cover almost all circumstances.  I'm sure there's a few guys who go longer in between meetings, but the majority of times, this should be OK.  And contact the provider first to say "Hey, I'd like to use you as a reference for me seeing X, is that OK?" is good protocol to follow? 

For TOB people and those providers who are capable of navigating on this website YES!

However, there are those occasional traveling ladies as well as BP only ladies that would never know to look up FW on TOB. Often we get perspective clients who have never heard of TOB.Funny thing is thatyes it happens quite a bit because this website is not as popular in other states.

I get providers questioning my "OKAYS" on P411 too. Hard to understand why a provider would need additional reassurance from me? Even if it has been a long while after the client has seen me. Providers you can clearly see that it is me saying yes he is oKay! (Even if I don't remember a whole lot.) Yes provider's if you see my name on his list and I have not reported anything negitive to Gina or any other website? You are SAFE!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/19/2017 at 10:45 PM, AnthointheAM said:

I have said this before but it is relevant here too. No way am I spending hard earned money and rearranging valuable time to see someone if there is no attraction in the first place. This may be just me, but even as a relative noob, I don't need a notch on the belt, a credit, or a reference bad enough to see someone I am not attracted to in one way or another. I may also want to return, schedule in the future based on interesting exchanges on posts or PMs, or finally get to see someone for whom a giant snowstorm ruined our planned encounter. Unfortunately I have neither unlimited time nor funds so that encounter may take a while. While I would welcome continued engagement with the YL, I have taken to heart the info shared on time-wasters and try hard not to be one. In short, if there was a connection, he will probably return. It may just be in the time it takes for the stars to align again. Patience is not something I have in abundance, but I try.

Nobody is questioning you on who your preference's are! 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/21/2017 at 1:46 PM, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Nobody is questioning you on who your preference's are! 

Just saying I don't get the mentality of seeing someone just for the reference. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Bella, 

newbie guys perspective:

only been in the hobby a little less then a year, (and this is my first post on here)

i have seen 8 providers so far, but only 1 of them multiple times. I ask for references from the recent ones as I think providers feel safer hearing from one of their own rather then other standard screening methods ( and I want anyone i see to feel as comfortable as possible seeing me)

i would not be offended if someone did not want to be a reference after a set amount of time, that's only fair. 

And as for the quality of your service ,  everyone is looking for something different according to their particular preferances, and I would not take it personally. You can provide world class service and a unique and special connection, and from the love you get on here I can only imagine you do, but that doesn't mean it matches up with everyone's "perfect scenario" and I think that's ok. I wouldn't dream of asking a provider to change how she is or how she provides her service, I just keep looking for someone who is closer to what I want, and I don't think that belittles the time we did spend together.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Darkangel1769 said:

And as for the quality of your service ,  everyone is looking for something different according to their particular preferances, and I would not take it personally. You can provide world class service and a unique and special connection, and from the love you get on here I can only imagine you do, but that doesn't mean it matches up with everyone's "perfect scenario" and I think that's ok. I wouldn't dream of asking a provider to change how she is or how she provides her service, I just keep looking for someone who is closer to what I want, and I don't think that belittles the time we did spend together.

On the other hand, remember that you can always ask for your preferences to be met.  Its always good to ask for what you're looking for...

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/23/2017 at 6:19 AM, AnthointheAM said:

Just saying I don't get the mentality of seeing someone just for the reference. 

Best approach to take! Thank you for the clarification! I agree completely! No need in going to see someone who doesn't appeal to your liking. The business is very superficial that way. We all understand and appreciate honesty! The shoe is not on the other foot with me. Thank goodness for that! I think if I was a Hobbiest I would be looking for all sorts of comparability on other avenues outside of purely looks. 

 

On 7/19/2017 at 10:45 PM, AnthointheAM said:

I have said this before but it is relevant here too. No way am I spending hard earned money and rearranging valuable time to see someone if there is no attraction in the first place. This may be just me, but even as a relative noob, I don't need a notch on the belt, a credit, or a reference bad enough to see someone I am not attracted to in one way or another. I may also want to return, schedule in the future based on interesting exchanges on posts or PMs, or finally get to see someone for whom a giant snowstorm ruined our planned encounter. Unfortunately I have neither unlimited time nor funds so that encounter may take a while. While I would welcome continued engagement with the YL, I have taken to heart the info shared on time-wasters and try hard not to be one. In short, if there was a connection, he will probably return. It may just be in the time it takes for the stars to align again. Patience is not something I have in abundance, but I try.

Nobody is questioning you on who your preference's are! 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/24/2017 at 3:47 PM, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Best approach to take! Thank you for the clarification! I agree completely! No need in going to see someone who doesn't appeal to your liking. The business is very superficial that way. We all understand and appreciate honesty! The shoe is not on the other foot with me. Thank goodness for that! I think if I was a Hobbiest I would be looking for all sorts of comparability on other avenues outside of purely looks. 

 

Nobody is questioning you on who your preference's are! 

Sorry, I must be dense because I am not picking up what you are laying down here. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, AnthointheAM said:

Sorry, I must be dense because I am not picking up what you are laying down here. 

In talking with you on this thread? Because you are totally off topic. I do agree with you on being able to see whom ever you wish.

The question was addressed to the providers any way😁😁 wishing you the best. You are welcomed to PM me if you wish? I am not going to create a spectical out of myself.

Not worth it my dearest! 

Life is great!!😂😂😂😂

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl there are plenty of clients that come back weeks,months and sometimes years since the last time! They also have a real world that doesn't included us! Its nice to have them come back to back but then again its always nice to see a familiar face months later!  

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On July 19, 2017 at 3:34 PM, Laci French said:

If I had a dick I would be dangerous.  This is like a candy store and I just don't get offended when the men try out all the other flavors.  

He probably had a great time and after making the rounds will return.  

 

It is a damn fine candy store  good analogy

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I find that I can only indulge in this hobby every 1-2 months due to budget.  I don't like the idea of asking the ladies I have seen to have to take time out of their day to give me a reference.  Plus it could be several months since I've seen them, especially if I've been repeating with a lady--the second reference will be even older.  On the other hand, I was told early on about p411 and I'm up to 17 OKs over the last 4 years.

My habit is to make a polite request via p411 when I want to see someone.  This has worked well for me so far.  I don't know if I'm doing something wrong by not giving the last couple women I've seen a heads up that someone may contact them.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/21/2017 at 0:44 PM, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

I get providers questioning my "OKAYS" on P411 too. Hard to understand why a provider would need additional reassurance from me? Even if it has been a long while after the client has seen me. Providers you can clearly see that it is me saying yes he is oKay! (Even if I don't remember a whole lot.) Yes provider's if you see my name on his list and I have not reported anything negitive to Gina or any other website? You are SAFE!

It is because cops have infiltrated ladies accounts that have retired, and use them to get in the door so the extra conversation is to ensure you are who you say you are. Be glad the ladies are being thorough. Someone always has to ruin it for everyone!

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/5/2017 at 0:07 PM, SultryKitten said:

It is because cops have infiltrated ladies accounts that have retired, and use them to get in the door so the extra conversation is to ensure you are who you say you are. Be glad the ladies are being thorough. Someone always has to ruin it for everyone!

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

Very interesting Samantha...Sorry I don't know what to say?  Other than I give references but never ask for them for myself.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Very interesting Samantha...Sorry I don't know what to say?  Other than I give references but never ask for them for myself. 

Well, you are an active lady in the board and you still consistently get reviews. I am talking about ladies that have retired and have accounts sitting around. It is one of the reasons I still keep tabs on my old names from years ago so in case I see anything weird, I can give a heads up. I am all about safety first and I keep tabs on what is going on. There have been times it has paid off.

Xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/19/2017 at 3:42 PM, Bella Marie said:

I have no problems with sharing at all but when you start to feel like just a stepping stone it's hurtful.... I really enjoy what I provide to my guests and I want them to leave wanting more I guess💕💕💕💕💕 if I need to improve something I would like to know is all💋

Bella , you are setting yourself up for getting your feelings hurt . Don't ever try to analyze a dude you have only seen once. There are many "flavor of the week" types out there. Nothing we can do will ever change that. The best you can do besides always doing your best service is not to dwell on it much. In a short time he becomes as nameless to us as the multiple ladies he has seen do to him.  With the difference being -you only see him because he is paying you, and smile all the way to the bank. Keep it in perspective love.

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Jez UaBriain said:

Bella , you are setting yourself up for getting your feelings hurt . Don't ever try to analyze a dude you have only seen once. There are many "flavor of the week" types out there. Nothing we can do will ever change that. The best you can do besides always doing your best service is not to dwell on it much. In a short time he becomes as nameless to us as the multiple ladies he has seen do to him.  With the difference being -you only see him because he is paying you, and smile all the way to the bank. Keep it in perspective love.

Well said Jez

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/6/2017 at 0:19 PM, SultryKitten said:

Well, you are an active lady in the board and you still consistently get reviews. I am talking about ladies that have retired and have accounts sitting around. It is one of the reasons I still keep tabs on my old names from years ago so in case I see anything weird, I can give a heads up. I am all about safety first and I keep tabs on what is going on. There have been times it has paid off.

Xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

Samantha, 

Send me a text. I would love more clarity. My only issue is the drama factor with some indivusuals. We both have been around and I trust your input Samantha. Something I am not so quick to believe with others (nothing personal). For me it just helps if I focus on my own system of verifying clients! And this totally includes not being dependent on anyone else for verification needs...lol does that not in it's self shed light on what it means to be truly "independent"

😀😀

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/19/2017 at 3:14 PM, Bella Marie said:

Ok ladies,

So have anyone else had this issue...

You see a client once and they continue to ask for a reference but never return?....

If there wasn't a connection that's ok.... Be honest.... I am reference friendly but I don't like feeling like I'm just a stepping stone... I have no problems giving references but please be honest when you say you really enjoyed yourself and can't wait to see me again..... Ok...done ranting....ladies?.....anyone else?

Honestly, I don't care if he has only seen me once and uses me as a reference a dozen times.  The reference system isn't about whether or not you formed a "connection" with the gent but rather its about confirming for the other providers that he is safe and not LE.  If I've met with him, he's paid my donation and didn't cause me any harm, I have no problem confirming his legitimacy ---even if I never see him again.   We are providing a service - an expensive service.  This isn't a competition to see who can convince their clients to be "monogamous."    Further, IMHO putting all kinds of "extra rules" and "stipulations" into the mix isn't going to attract much business.  If they wanted the hoops to jump through, they'd stick to the dating scene.  

8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Danielle Rae said:

Honestly, I don't care if he has only seen me once and uses me as a reference a dozen times.  The reference system isn't about whether or not you formed a "connection" with the gent but rather its about confirming for the other providers that he is safe and not LE.  If I've met with him, he's paid my donation and didn't cause me any harm, I have no problem confirming his legitimacy ---even if I never see him again.   We are providing a service - an expensive service.  This isn't a competition to see who can convince their clients to be "monogamous."    Further, IMHO putting all kinds of "extra rules" and "stipulations" into the mix isn't going to attract much business.  If they wanted the hoops to jump through, they'd stick to the dating scene.  

lolcat-hmm.jpg

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually am having a similar problem right now. It really sucks being the young one in the scene. Most ladies in my age range are on backpage and that's defiantly not where I want to be. Females have been up right snooty with absolutely no help on information, and want to keep their things private. I get respect earned as it takes a long time to build your rep.... At a  certain point I'm starting to get a bit frustrated though, as I thought forums were supposed to help each other out.

Good vibes xo

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎7‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 1:20 PM, jj254 said:

I'm digging the OK system here. Like P411's. You can give me an ok, then who I see after won't need to bother you. Works well all around. Some girls might want to dig deeper and call you. That's cool. But it's not gonna be all of them. Or even most. 

Hey, what "OK system here" is he talking about?  I didn't know that TOB had an OK system, I am only aware of the P411 OK system.  Sometimes I like to see a gal who is not on P411 but is on TOB, and I would like know more about an OK system that she could access without P411.  I may be behind the curve here, but I would like to catch up.  Any info is appreciated.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, BadBoy said:

Hey, what "OK system here" is he talking about?  ...

I think he is talking about the Reference system.  Check under Account on the pull-down menu on the upper right of each page. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh yeah - I got one of those.  How do you get one, just ask the young lady for a reference, same as with a P411 OK?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 hours ago, BadBoy said:

Oh yeah - I got one of those.  How do you get one, just ask the young lady for a reference, same as with a P411 OK?

I would hope they have seen you before just giving out reference checks!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/6/2017 at 0:19 PM, SultryKitten said:

Well, you are an active lady in the board and you still consistently get reviews. I am talking about ladies that have retired and have accounts sitting around. It is one of the reasons I still keep tabs on my old names from years ago so in case I see anything weird, I can give a heads up. I am all about safety first and I keep tabs on what is going on. There have been times it has paid off.

Xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

Samantha, 

Was wondering if you have ever seen old accounts being hijacked? Not sure if this could be a possibility? Cracking passwords. Just makes you wonder a bit. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now