funtimes50

Too dang sensitive? You help me judge, please.

56 posts in this topic

Folks,

Here is the situation. Help me judge if I am being crazy. Had a provider ask for my real name and info, then mentioned that she will need to "verify"  my ID (driver's License) to confirm my identity "for her safety"  prior to the start of our session.  I replied that I would be glad to comply if she were willing to do the same.  Her immediate response was that we obviously "incompatible" and asked me not to contact her again.  Does this seem excessive?   I know that this forum can be brutal, but call it as you see it, folks!

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Trust is a big factor here.  All I'll say is if you're not on P411 or DateCheck or some other verification service, then her request is not out of line to be able to confirm your identity and ultimately (through other due-diligence methods) determine if you're legit and safe to see, or a time-waster.  I'm sure you've done your research on her up-front before contacting her and believe her to be legit and not going to waste your time, so your request to know her real name and see her ID is IMHO out of line.  Her response is not unexpected.

Don't be a dick.

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9 minutes ago, funtimes50 said:

ask for my real name and info, then mentioned that she will need to "verify"  my ID (driver's License) to confirm my identity "for her safety" 

From a client angle, yes, excessive: no way a provider is getting all that from me, no matter how good her rep. Might exclude me from specific providers, but does not stop my ability to see other equally good providers.

Re: the quote, never got this. Like a cop can't get a fake identity, including a driver's license? Right up there with putting "you are not LE" in an ad, like that will stop them.

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Why Judge her ? Why not ask for opinions? Advice? You have wayyyyy to many reviews to approach a lady in such a manner. Did you not let her know your status here? Did she ask you if you had references? Why respond the way you did to her request if you are so known on this board? I just don't get it? You have over 100 reviews so this rant makes no sense to me :( .. You seem to know how to correctly contact a provider as you have been successful 141 times. Obviously you didn't make your first impression correctly and want to knock a provider for her attempt at being safe INSTEAD of letting her know your status here???? Again not making sense. Koodos to the lady that turned you down. Honesty goes a Looooooong way in a business full of lies and deceit. 

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22 minutes ago, Chrissy said:

Why Judge her ? Why not ask for opinions? Advice? You have wayyyyy to many reviews to approach a lady in such a manner. Did you not let her know your status here? Did she ask you if you had references? Why respond the way you did to her request if you are so known on this board? I just don't get it? You have over 100 reviews so this rant makes no sense to me :( .. You seem to know how to correctly contact a provider as you have been successful 141 times. Obviously you didn't make your first impression correctly and want to knock a provider for her attempt at being safe INSTEAD of letting her know your status here???? Again not making sense. Koodos to the lady that turned you down. Honesty goes a Looooooong way in a business full of lies and deceit. 

Agree, and I also will ask for ID if I can't get any other verification. There is too much BS going on out there recently to be putting up with, and with attitude behind it will get you denied no matter who you are.

Us seasoned veterans need to quit acting so uppity and remember that this can be a dangerous business, and if you are not comfortable with how a lady runs her business, find someone who does...same goes for us ladies, if we are not comfortable don't set up the appt. Also, I have seen a lot of laziness too. This is supposed to be fun, but it still a business for us and we have to stay diligent.

 I am not singling you out Fun, this is to everyone...we all need to remember this.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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1 hour ago, cuddlybear99 said:

Trust is a big factor here.  All I'll say is if you're not on P411 or DateCheck or some other verification service, then her request is not out of line to be able to confirm your identity and ultimately (through other due-diligence methods) determine if you're legit and safe to see, or a time-waster.  I'm sure you've done your research on her up-front before contacting her and believe her to be legit and not going to waste your time, so your request to know her real name and see her ID is IMHO out of line.  Her response is not unexpected.

Don't be a dick.

 

22 minutes ago, Chrissy said:

Why Judge her ? Why not ask for opinions? Advice? You have wayyyyy to many reviews to approach a lady in such a manner. Did you not let her know your status here? Did she ask you if you had references? Why respond the way you did to her request if you are so known on this board? I just don't get it? You have over 100 reviews so this rant makes no sense to me :( .. You seem to know how to correctly contact a provider as you have been successful 141 times. Obviously you didn't make your first impression correctly and want to knock a provider for her attempt at being safe INSTEAD of letting her know your status here???? Again not making sense. Koodos to the lady that turned you down. Honesty goes a Looooooong way in a business full of lies and deceit. 

I agree with both of these responses. If you're not a part of any verification site, maybe she felt for her protection she needed additional information to verify you. To be honest I feel you asking to see her id was a way of being a smart ass (maybe I'm wrong) but that would have been the way I would have taken it. I've had the same thing happen to me when I've asked clients if they were a member of any verification sites or have references and they responded with "no, are you?". My response was similar to the one you received from your provider in question. All providers have different ways to verify, some more extensive then others. But again in my opinion I think she may have felt you were trying to be difficult in asking her to show her id, thus the response you received. 

 

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Bottom line you guys need to remember this is a Woman's business. Not a mans, and no matter how many insights, experience with us you think you might have when it comes to an escort, you will not ever run even a small portion of this business. Not how she screens, not who she sees, not her practice. Her rates,  Nothing. We are here to serve pleasure with out commitment and often placed at the bottom of the totem pole of lifestyle choices and looked down apon. We have enough negativity to deal with wayyyyy before a session occurs. We have to balance that with a smile to get the next one. Every single and I mean every single lady that endures the hassles of this choosing deserves the respect it takes to go meet strangers on someone else's word, service that stranger in intimate moments and situations sincerely offering herself  all for the almighty dollar. 

My question is this.

If this were a FREE sex site like friend finders,  would all the questions, hassles, positivity, negativity still be present? ? Would the guys dissect every turn, word, photo as they do now? Would you review her performance for all to see? Remember its All Free.. Would you still have these actions and opinions?  

Edited by Chrissy
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A lady has the right to use any form of screening she sees fit.  You have the right to comply or move on. 

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Damnit!  That just made me feel like that OLD Owl sitting in the tree offering life advice !!!!  LOL and i am not even of Owl age :(

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3 minutes ago, Chrissy said:

Damnit!  That just made me feel like that OLD Owl sitting in the tree offering life advice !!!!  LOL and i am not even of Owl age :(

It was a very wise post 🦉 But we don't look at you as an owl, lol 😂

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This tit-for-tat thing with ID's makes no sense to me. If you don't want to provide the info don't but stop vilifying those who do (generally speaking).

Providers who want to be successful pour their blood, sweat and tears into their business. We have to have reviews, it's even better when we have websites, we have to pay tons of money to advertise in the right places. We work hard to maintain reputations and put out there that we are who advertise to be. We take verbal lashings on this board when we don't behave as dictated. We do all that we can to prove who we are and a client doesn't need a real name to make it all come crashing down on us.

Police busts are real, the danger for providers is real and one of the best ways to combat that danger is to screen and to screen with real info. Clients have no idea what an average provider has to deal with on a regular basis but they have tons of stories of bat shit crazy ladies. For every one client that's been "outed" there are literally hundreds of providers getting taken advantage of. Why the safety of the few outweigh the safety of the many I'll never understand.

Hopefully someday people will realize the vulnerability of this business and hopefully some day clients will realize that reputable providers aren't really looking to put their jobs on the line because of one dude. We're not too dang sensitive, I think most of us are tired of the mockery of our safety.

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I am on P411 - and I sent that info BEFORE she informed me about her ID requirements.

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Folks,  Don't worry about me.

Way too many fish to worry much about the one that got away...

Interesting how the ladies feel strongly that she has the right to ask but I didn't. Doesn't my safety count at all?

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16 minutes ago, funtimes50 said:

Folks,  Don't worry about me.

Way too many fish to worry much about the one that got away...

Interesting how the ladies feel strongly that she has the right to ask but I didn't. Doesn't my safety count at all?

What does her ID do for you? Did you not already do your research? I sincerely doubt you would have called for an appointment if you felt your safety was in danger.

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18 minutes ago, funtimes50 said:

Folks,  Don't worry about me.

Way too many fish to worry much about the one that got away...

Interesting how the ladies feel strongly that she has the right to ask but I didn't. Doesn't my safety count at all?

Of course your safety counts!  You made the decision to not put your rl information out and kept you feeling safe.

If you don't agree with what someone is asking just move on and find someone else.  If a gentleman will not provide the screening that makes the provider feel safe she should decline the request.

Now go out there and get some and your day will improve😂

 

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This just seems like a clear case of client and provider that are not compatible. So many fantastic choices out there. If this were to happen to me , I wouldn't give it a second thought and just moved right along. So many out there that put a smile on my face!

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2 hours ago, Chrissy said:

Why Judge her ? Why not ask for opinions? Advice? You have wayyyyy to many reviews to approach a lady in such a manner. Did you not let her know your status here? Did she ask you if you had references? Why respond the way you did to her request if you are so known on this board? I just don't get it? You have over 100 reviews so this rant makes no sense to me :( .. You seem to know how to correctly contact a provider as you have been successful 141 times. Obviously you didn't make your first impression correctly and want to knock a provider for her attempt at being safe INSTEAD of letting her know your status here???? Again not making sense. Koodos to the lady that turned you down. Honesty goes a Looooooong way in a business full of lies and deceit. 

I made a mistake in an earlier post. I do remember being asked to show my ID prior to meeting a lady other than the one time long ago. You're right though, Chrissy. After several texts back and forth, I just got so comfortable with texting this gal, I completely forgot to mention my profile here. To be fair she didn't ask for it until very close to appointment time. I told her, "I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to do that." I was very tempted to give her a web pick of Paavo instead. 

paavo.jpg

 

 

I resisted my Irish, impish nature. When I mentioned who I was here, though, I was at her door in minutes. Consequently she earned a very nice review. I guess my question falls along Chrissy's line of thinking. Did you forget to mention who you were here? If you're a polite gentleman, and established here, are you not a sure bet? 

Bathe, take your shoes off at the door, give her a compliment when you get in, leave the donation. Follow her rules and exit when she tells you to. It's not rocket science.

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It does suck he went through p411 first and was still hassled for ID.  The point of 411 is for screening and with that many current Ok's to his name,  its as tho she didn't trust the providers OK's... I can see the frustration 

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1 hour ago, funtimes50 said:

I am on P411 - and I sent that info BEFORE she informed me about her ID requirements.

In that case, I'd say, move on. If she doesn't trust your OK's and reviews here, there isn't anything you can do to assuage her concerns, EXCEPT show her your real identity. Just my advice... DO NOT EVER DO THAT. You have a reputation here, for whatever it's worth, you have a p411 profile, with OK's, I'm assuming. That's all you can do. I repeat: DO NOT EVER SHOW YOUR ID. Make the decision to play elsewhere. For what it's worth, most reputable agencies do not care to see your ID when you are established. It's a big pond to play in. Why obsess over one woman? 

Edited by Vassago
my grammar sucks
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I agree with everyone here if a screening process is too invasive or feels uncomfortable I would move on. 
I have seen in the past where people have emailed and said they are part of a board with X amount of reviews but sends fake info. Obviously, in the case of this board, it's easy enough to send a message to them to link the account. 

I see both sides of the coin, I 100% understand clients that waste my time and/or provide fake screening information. I also understand not wanting to fork over something as vital as an ID/Driver's License.    Screening is just one of those things everyone does differently, I try not to judge on my end. I've been doing this awhile so I have P411, TER, and now TOB, but I know not everyone is as diligent as me, therefore, can not be held to the standard I've given myself. 
 

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42 minutes ago, Vassago said:

In that case, I'd say, move on. If she doesn't trust your OK's and reviews here, there isn't anything you can do to assuage her concerns, EXCEPT show her your real identity. Just my advice... DO NOT EVER DO THAT. You have a reputation here, for whatever it's worth, you have a p411 profile, with OK's, I'm assuming. That's all you can do. I repeat: DO NOT EVER SHOW YOUR ID. Make the decision to play elsewhere. For what it's worth, most reputable agencies do not care to see your ID when you are established. It's a big pond to play in. Why obsess over one woman? 

Even though a client has stellar reviews, lots of OK's, and a well known profile on here does not make him compatible for everyone. Some of us providers only see clients that we click with. She may not have felt that strong connection, and wanted to make sure it was all good. Some of us ladies get turned on by looks, personality, their voice, certain hair types, money, and etc. You really don't know why one provider says yes, and another will say no. Just find one that does and that you enjoy as well.

Surprisingly, some of us really do want you guys to spend your hard earned cash with someone you will click with well.

Xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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1 hour ago, Chrissy said:

It does suck he went through p411 first and was still hassled for ID.  The point of 411 is for screening and with that many current Ok's to his name,  its as tho she didn't trust the providers OK's... I can see the frustration 

I agree. P411's purpose is to go through all that screening for us so that they don't need to send their personal info. Only time I've asked for an id is when he wasn't able to provide any other screening methods. Maybe something happened that made her want to ask for extra verification? 🤷🏼‍♀️ I've had guys who have written reviews, and been on P411 said something that weirded me out so I wanted to do a little extra research to be sure. I've also had guys contact me on P411 who's ok's were all inactive which was a little creepy to me so I just didn't see them. I understand that providers don't stay in the business forever but every single one was inactive 🤔 I suppose we really don't know because we're only getting one side of the story. 

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Does she have the absolute right to request a photo ID "for her safety"?  Darn tootin, she does, she also has the absolute right to take that ID and enter all of the information in her cell phone so that if she is ever busted the police will have it too.

Would I ever go see her? Not on your life.  My ID always stays in the car.  Never had that be an issue over hundreds of visits.

Choices folks, choices.

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9 minutes ago, BadBoy said:

Does she have the absolute right to request a photo ID "for her safety"?  Darn tootin, she does, she also has the absolute right to take that ID and enter all of the information in her cell phone so that if she is ever busted the police will have it too.

Would I ever go see her? Not on your life.  My ID always stays in the car.  Never had that be an issue over hundreds of visits.

Choices folks, choices.

And if the police had that information, what do you suppose they would do with it? Let's take that straw man and run...

Seriously, unless she is dead(Whatever forbid), what do you think they can do with that info; and if she is dead(Whatever forbid, again) and you didn't do it, wouldn't you want to be as helpful as possible in finding whoever did?

Granted, giving RW info isn't for everyone, my example is an extreme one, and you are entitled to your opinion; but positing that the mere presence of said info on a woman's cellphone, that, outside an official investigation, is ever going to be relevant, is irresponsible, unnecessary, and FUD at it's most insidious. JMO.

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All this righteous indignation at being asked to show an ID. You'd think we were voting. It doesn't matter if she asks or if he asks, if you are uncomfortable with the request, there is only one response - "No. Thank you."  You both have the option of "Goodbye."  Why get upset about the issue?

Personally? I believe in reciprocity.   But there's too much FUD on both sides for that to happen. Both sides have a lot to lose if one of you is indiscreet, so rational thought and compromise are out the window. 

BTW(Related to other threads) - If you travel together, you(plural) had better be comfortable enough to share. 

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3 hours ago, SultryKitten said:

Even though a client has stellar reviews, lots of OK's, and a well known profile on here does not make him compatible for everyone. Some of us providers only see clients that we click with. She may not have felt that strong connection, and wanted to make sure it was all good. Some of us ladies get turned on by looks, personality, their voice, certain hair types, money, and etc. You really don't know why one provider says yes, and another will say no. Just find one that does and that you enjoy as well.

Surprisingly, some of us really do want you guys to spend your hard earned cash with someone you will click with well.

Xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

Thank you, Samantha. I appreciate your input. 

I agree with you. To be a little more clear, I am not faulting the lady for wanting an ID. I'm only stating what I would do in funtimes' position. For me, I'd come to the realization that this isn't going to happen. No harm. No foul. Time to scroll further down the list. That's all.

 I can really only try and understand the other side of the boardroom table. It's an abstract understanding at best. I realize I'm getting into bed with my business partners, so it's not like a normal business meeting, but I still have to think about my own interests and well being just as I would in a "normal" business meeting.

Certainly, you can understand the importance of mutual respect. When it works the way it should, sex with a business partner ads a dynamic eroticism that is hard to replicate in the hum-drum existence of everyday life. 

But let's face it. There are no contracts on the table. It's a woman's word and mine. We have only our reputations to seal the deal. If we've never met, we've no idea of the intentions of our partners sitting on the other side of the oak. Often times, even after years, we can be looking at each other's throats. A vindictive woman can do irreparable damage to a naive man. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn. I know this well. Under said circumstances, I feel telling the young lady, "no thank you" is completely acceptable.

just my thoughts. I'm often wrong.

 

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I'm going to change my screening up a little to include a dick pic, W2, pic of DL and note from boss verifying employment.😉😂

Edited by Laci French
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4 hours ago, MrReindeer-9515 said:

Granted, giving RW info isn't for everyone, my example is an extreme one, and you are entitled to your opinion; but positing that the mere presence of said info on a woman's cellphone, that, outside an official investigation, is ever going to be relevant, is irresponsible, unnecessary, and FUD at it's most insidious. JMO.

Image result for applause gif

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8 hours ago, Chrissy said:

Damnit!  That just made me feel like that OLD Owl sitting in the tree offering life advice !!!!  LOL and i am not even of Owl age :(

Hey!! Are you slamming old owls?? I resemble that remark. ;)  Only life advice I am offering is fuck as passionately and as often as you can for as long as you can and do so with someone you genuinely like.

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