Candice Sunset

Question to other providers, have any of you lost friends because of career choice

18 posts in this topic

I am at a loss for words right now. I have had the same best friend who is like a sister to me for over 26 years, and have been a provider on and off for 13.  Recently, my bff decided that she doesn't want to be friends because of the lifestyle choice I have made.  I am extremely safe, and not public at all about my lifestyle.  I am extremely generous with everyone, and don't do drugs or drink.  Just wondering if anyone else has lost someone important because you choose this?

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 Unfortunately, this lifestyle carries very negative stigma just being gay 50 years ago.  Every time you watch a movie or show involving the Hobie we are portrayed in a negative light.  Women are desperate junkies or have mental issues.  Men are dangerous predators.  Politicians on both sides perpetuate negative stereotype to push their own agenda.  Nothing will change till we show the public we are normal people. 

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10 hours ago, Candice Sunset said:

I am at a loss for words right now. I have had the same best friend who is like a sister to me for over 26 years, and have been a provider on and off for 13.  Recently, my bff decided that she doesn't want to be friends because of the lifestyle choice I have made.  I am extremely safe, and not public at all about my lifestyle.  I am extremely generous with everyone, and don't do drugs or drink.  Just wondering if anyone else has lost someone important because you choose this?

    Sorry to hear that your bff turned out to be that shallow.  Sad to say its not a first ,seen many a lady lose friends and family over being a stripper, adult actress, model and/or a provider.  That said,there are people out there that will look at you as the person you are instead of your job.Those are the ones that will stand by you through thick and thin. Be patient,maybe  she will miss you and change her mind. Be patient,don't force a change,let it come natural. If she doesn't turn around...move on.

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7 hours ago, valconxen said:

 Unfortunately, this lifestyle carries very negative stigma just being gay 50 years ago.  Every time you watch a movie or show involving the Hobie we are portrayed in a negative light.  Women are desperate junkies or have mental issues.  Men are dangerous predators.  Politicians on both sides perpetuate negative stereotype to push their own agenda.  Nothing will change till we show the public we are normal people. 

Most of the shows I see makes both end up as murderers or victims.

The problem is, could you even do a reality based HBO show thats, well, real?  The real hobby is almost too boring for a TV show, they'd have to inject so much artificial drama.

Candice, I'm sorry this happened to you though.  I do wonder if in a couple months she'll approach you again, after she's had a lot of time to process things, and might even ask questions that's on her mind.  

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Thats a real bummeroo and you probably should not have told her. Unless she is a religious wackadoo, she is probably worried about guilt by association......in her mind it may be....."If I am friends with a hooker, eventually someone will think I am one too".........( language used was chosen to represent likely state of mind)

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A true friend wouldn't judge you. But that doesn't stop them, from trying to push there values on everyone around them. For some reason, 

a lot of people think they have the market cornered on morality.

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Sorry you lost your BFF. She should have valued for your inner self, not the trappings of culture  

Fortunately for me my BFF also played the field. But I lost him to cancer a few years back. As we get older, loss become a part of life. 😕

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20 hours ago, Candice Sunset said:

I am at a loss for words right now. I have had the same best friend who is like a sister to me for over 26 years, and have been a provider on and off for 13.  Recently, my bff decided that she doesn't want to be friends because of the lifestyle choice I have made.  I am extremely safe, and not public at all about my lifestyle.  I am extremely generous with everyone, and don't do drugs or drink.  Just wondering if anyone else has lost someone important because you choose this?

I can relate.... I had a girlfriend of 20+ years that did internet cam work....... But turned her back on me when I needed her because of what I do now....it's very sad...I was there for her when she needed me.... Sometimes people leave our lives for a reason doll....look at it like a lesson of growth....your path and hers obviously were not meant to be the same💋💋💋💋💋

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I'm so sorry to hear that. I too had to let go of friendships because they felt that judging me was more important than our relationship. I wish I knew the right words to say, but I know that "the right words" don't really exist. I will say this though, the kindest and most generous people I have ever known were from doing this. People I call family, the kind of friends that you can call at 3 am with a flat and they are up and ready to help you. I would give the last shirt off my back to help any of them as well. 

Having a sense of community has not only kept me safe it has kept me sane. Like all things, this one can leave you burned out. There is an interconnected web of us all over the US and Canada. Hang in there <3 

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Yes, I have had previous ladies that were in this business quit being friends with me. This, I feel, can be daunting to some and it is tough.

I think it is tough, but some people you keep strictly in your personal life, and others can be a part of your business. You have to learn the fine art of knowing who fits where. Sometimes it doesn't work out.

Sorry that it happened to you, and I hope things get better.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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I have yes, but I think the hardest part of the stigma is not having anyone to gripe to or share how my day at work was with. 

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This business is a lonely one. I haven't lost any friends but only because I have never told anyone what I do. I have lost my share of friends inside the business though. It's easier for me to be a private person. I'm happier going out with my straight girlfriends. For my own sanity, I have to keep my work life and personal life separate. 

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13 minutes ago, Melissa Sterling said:

This business is a lonely one. I haven't lost any friends but only because I have never told anyone what I do. ... 

This "I don't tell people." applies to the guys too. 

My HS roommate knew. He played the field too. But he died a few years ago. 

A sister (1 of 3) knows, along with her husband. They live out-of-state.

Other than that, all my friends who know (m&f) are inside the hobby. Sad to say, but this is not something one casually talks about at the local hangouts.  If you think it's lonely now, you should have been around 25 years ago (pre-Internet) when we didn't have groups like TOB to socialize & discuss the details of the trade/hobby. 

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Two outside the hobby friends know.  One is around here, and that's because 10 years ago he was heavily involved until he got married, and told me all about the fun (and not so fun) he had.  The other is one of my friends who lives far away, in a not so good area for hobbying, but still calls me his hero.

Besides that, I'm lucky to count several people inside as friends.

Edited by FuriousWeasel
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As a newb I think about this a lot... Makes me sad to know I would be judged harshly by the world. But they don't think about the struggle.

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This thread makes me sad.  

Sometimes people come into our life for a season, reason or lesson.  If you ever need to talk please don't hesitate to reach out!

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I cant relate because i dont really have any friends...well female besties....but im very open about what i do and actually have had a very good response from people....family and random people i meet...ive been very blessed and lucky with that......i treat my occupation just as it is "a job" may not be the most respectful job in most peoples eyes but its what i do and who i am. I even talk to my family about my day or night just like i would if i worked in an office or behind a counter....granted i dont divulge in the sexy details thats for my thoughts only :)........i get a lot of respect from both men and women young and old because i believe, my confidence and respect for myself as well as how i present myself in what i do. Call me a whore and I take it as a compliment and will tell you thank you ive worked hard to get to this status.....    sorry didnt mean to go on a rant but i hope maybe my words will make someone smile and feel my heartfelt hug and think f$#% off to the so called friend that made you sad because they are to blind to see  that the  lifestyle choice you made didnt make you an aweful person they are the monster for throwing a away someone whom i can only imagine is a great friend....:)))  

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A true friend will love you for YOU. What you do to make ends meet should not be a factor. 

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