Jez UaBriain

"So you want to know why your SO quit putting out".

30 posts in this topic

After reading a thread about falling in love with a client, it was mentioned about the "wife experience". Meaning, when she quits putting out.

 

And while I do agree that for some clients there very well may be medical reasons.  But I base my some what educated answer on having been a wife in the not to distant past.

 

Has it ever occurred to some of you gentlemen that just maybe  she has become so bored with having sex with you that it has become like an unpleasant chore to her?  Now please. If you recognize this could be you and you want to throw out the "how she got fat, etc." excuses.  I just want you to look at yourself in the mirror naked. Think back to the routine of what passes for sex with your spouse.   That is it for most of us.  We have become bored with your dumb asses. Okay, okay, that is harsh, but , based on my own marital experience and that of a few if my friends it seems a pretty easy answer.

 

And for me it was. While I stayed being a hot little number, my ex- Mr. Jez , had let his dumb ass go.  He became slovenly. And he stank most the time .  When we did have sex it was the same every  time.  It had  ceased being fun , and had instead  become like a house hold chore for me. I was bored and more then tired of getting stuck with his wet spot.  After all, the "wet" is because he got his jollies and rolled on over to begin snoring so loudly that I am surprised he the noise ordnance was never  broken.

 

Now while I really didn't intend to denigrate anyone with this post, if anyone recognizes themselves- well then I am sorry for you, and for her.  But my whole purpose of writing this posting is because I'm tired of hearing about how the SO quit putting out once you put a ring on her finger. After all , her reason could just be YOU.

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have you ever thought it takes 2 to tango? if one isn't into it anymore then the one isn't gonna try to make it a good experience! jmo

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Holy crap, mark your calendars - I am agreeing with Stevie!  Marital dynamics is an interesting and complex field - there are lots of reasons that folks continue to love each other, but are no longer "in love."  Usually, I think, the blame for a lack of spark in a marriage is on both parties.  In some cases, it is just fine with both of them to continue on without romance, in some cases it leads to a lot of bitterness, misunderstanding and resentment.  There is no way to tell from the outside what the dynamics of a marriage consist of.

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15 hours ago, Jez UaBriain said:

  When we did have sex it was the same every  time.  It had  ceased being fun , and had instead  become like a house hold chore for me. I was bored 

 

    Will bet that you are about to get a lot of marriage proposals . Every time I ever tried to get a live in to try something new,she would get pissed. 

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19 hours ago, Jez UaBriain said:

After reading a thread about falling in love with a client, it was mentioned about the "wife experience". Meaning, when she quits putting out.

 

And while I do agree that for some clients there very well may be medical reasons.  But I base my some what educated answer on having been a wife in the not to distant past.

 

Has it ever occurred to some of you gentlemen that just maybe  she has become so bored with having sex with you that it has become like an unpleasant chore to her?  Now please. If you recognize this could be you and you want to throw out the "how she got fat, etc." excuses.  I just want you to look at yourself in the mirror naked. Think back to the routine of what passes for sex with your spouse.   That is it for most of us.  We have become bored with your dumb asses. Okay, okay, that is harsh, but , based on my own marital experience and that of a few if my friends it seems a pretty easy answer.

 

And for me it was. While I stayed being a hot little number, my ex- Mr. Jez , had let his dumb ass go.  He became slovenly. And he stank most the time .  When we did have sex it was the same every  time.  It had  ceased being fun , and had instead  become like a house hold chore for me. I was bored and more then tired of getting stuck with his wet spot.  After all, the "wet" is because he got his jollies and rolled on over to begin snoring so loudly that I am surprised he the noise ordnance was never  broken.

 

Now while I really didn't intend to denigrate anyone with this post, if anyone recognizes themselves- well then I am sorry for you, and for her.  But my whole purpose of writing this posting is because I'm tired of hearing about how the SO quit putting out once you put a ring on her finger. After all , her reason could just be YOU.

I find it amusing it's never because the wife is a frigid bitch and if they did have sex, the guy would need to stick his junk in the toaster to thaw it out. :D

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I'm still trying to figure out the acronym SO :rolleyes: and if that's how they behave why do I want one :confused:

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Just now, fishndude57 said:

I'm still trying to figure out the acronym SO :rolleyes: and if that's how they behave why do I want one :confused:

Significant Other. SO. 

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1 hour ago, JoDoe27 said:

Significant Other. SO. 

I dunno... I think he was being a bit sarcastic.

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6 minutes ago, FuriousWeasel said:

I dunno... I think he was being a bit sarcastic.

Perhaps not about the "why do I want one?" part.

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I have heard a lot of stories, I am sure half are full of crap to make themselves feel better, but honestly, there are 3 sides to every story...His story, her story, and the truth! I don't take very many of them to heart because honestly, it isn't my business and even if they do tell me, I do my best to make them feel better and do my job...which is what they paid me for. I do feel bad for the ones that truly do want their wife's love in the bedroom besides other things. Nothing is a lonelier existence than to not feel desired by the one who is supposed to complete you and be your partner forever.

Now, I will say that I have had some guys tell me they aren't getting action at home, and as soon as they touch me, it is pretty obvious why! Poking and prodding me like am the Pillsbury Dough Boy is not really appealing, and I am sure it isn't for her either. Otherwise, I don't really ponder too much the reasoning, but I do say a silent prayer of goodwill their way in hopes of positive things for them in their marriage.

Relationships/marriages are hard! I know I am not perfect in mine, and am guilty for not always catering to "the man's" needs. We all have those days that are crazy, or we/the kids are sick, or I am ragging and very bitchy, etc. Whatever it is, we are all guilty. We just make the best of the situations we are in, and try to take one day at a time.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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2 hours ago, FuriousWeasel said:

I dunno... I think he was being a bit sarcastic.

Maybe!  :)

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Oh NO Boink! That is just wayyyy to cold!
I try not to think too much about who is what. Mostly i do my best to connect with the soul of the individual. Sometimes i can see feminine aspects within the male. And the opiset can be said for women i see. Many men love to cuddle more than anything. Human touch i believe that is the true element that is missing from a relationship! Falling asleep and snoring...hell i kind of like that! 😀

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13 hours ago, stevie-2249 said:

have you ever thought it takes 2 to tango? if one isn't into it anymore then the one isn't gonna try to make it a good experience! jmo

Wow Stevie.. You got my drift here for once.

 

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I always wanted a 68 Shelby. Once I had one, i treated her like a queen. After a while, l didn't give her the attention she needed. 

I guess I got used to having her around. One day I was going to take her for a spin. I guess I ignored her to long and paid the price. 

I should have appreciated what I had. 

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24 minutes ago, tide32 said:

I always wanted a blow up doll. Once I had one, i treated her like a queen. After a while, l didn't give her the attention she needed. 

I guess I got used to having her around. One day I was going to take her for a spin. I guess I ignored her to long and she was flat. 

I should have appreciated what I had. 

I fixed it for you. :D

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21 minutes ago, tide32 said:

I always wanted a 68 Shelby. Once I had one, i treated her like a queen. After a while, l didn't give her the attention she needed. 

I guess I got used to having her around. One day I was going to take her for a spin. I guess I ignored her to long and paid the price. 

I should have appreciated what I had. 

That Shelby found a new man to wax on wax off with. 

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Ya got me. :angry: I should have greased her plug hole. :rolleyes:

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The dynamics of LTR sex and companionship are complex in the extreme. Like most, I have had many attempts over my lifetime, but none have stuck. The relationships that died....the GF's that stopped putting out....etc. There is no one or clear cause. HOWEVER....I have ONE thing to say to EACH AND EVERY woman I have known in my lifetime who are collectively responsible for me being 58 and single and alone....almost certainly for the rest of my life

......THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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On 6/7/2017 at 6:42 PM, boink36 said:

I find it amusing it's never because the wife is a frigid bitch and if they did have sex, the guy would need to stick his junk in the toaster to thaw it out. :D

Sorry there but I strongly disagree with your statement about the wife being frigid.

As a escort. You gents often will say" your using our services because of that very same reason. Frigid wives are good for our business. 

And I like married men alto as clients. They are not wanting to move in with me. They are not looking for a long term relationship.  And they are grateful to spend a hour or mote with a naked woman.       🍀

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3 minutes ago, Jez UaBriain said:

Sorry there but I strongly disagree with your statement about the wife being frigid.

As a escort. You gents often will say" your using our services because of that very same reason. Frigid wives are good for our business. 

And I like married men alto as clients. They are not wanting to move in with me. They are not looking for a long term relationship.  And they are grateful to spend a hour or mote with a naked woman.       🍀

Probably not appropriate but that last statement reminded me of a joke.

"My wife is so frigid that every time she spreads her legs the furnace turns on"

Thanks everyone for the applause, I'll be here till Thursday!   :cool:

Jez, Keep on doing what you're doing!

You are a lovely lady to say the least!

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10 hours ago, Jez UaBriain said:

Sorry there but I strongly disagree with your statement about the wife being frigid.

As a escort. You gents often will say" your using our services because of that very same reason. Frigid wives are good for our business. 

And I like married men alto as clients. They are not wanting to move in with me. They are not looking for a long term relationship.  And they are grateful to spend a hour or mote with a naked woman.       🍀

My reply wasn't to an OP about why men see escorts, it was to an OP about why the SO quits putting out.  in the OP you laid the blame squarely on the man. the "Douchallity" of the situation is the blame goes just about 50/50.

Douchallity: The facts that remain after all of the bullshit has been douched away. :D

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On 6/7/2017 at 6:55 PM, fishndude57 said:

I'm still trying to figure out the acronym SO :rolleyes: and if that's how they behave why do I want one :confused:

Always seems like the grass is greener on the other side. :P

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12 minutes ago, amcbl1 said:

Always seems like the grass is greener on the other side. :P

I should have said the grass SEEMS greener on the other side.:unsure:

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Beyond the physical issues that Jez noted -- not keeping fit, clumsy when intimate -- emotional issues play a big role in a SO/wife becoming "frigid."

I definitely have had genetic/metabolism good luck. As I'm  heading deep into middle age, I'm still in pretty much in the same condition as I was in college.

That's all fine and great until I started putting work first, being impatient with the clones and not appreciating the stress and strain that parenting essentially solo was causing my SO as I was rarely home. Way to go, Yogi...ugh.

So, at some point after clone #2 arrived an emotional breaker was tripped in her and our sex life just ended. I have a fairly high sex drive, she never did, so our frequency and the range of activities was always quite limited. Because I was so wrapped up in my career and, quite honestly, myself, I didn't notice.

After five or six years, all the damage I was doing and had done to our relationship finally dawned on me. (I know...I know...) At that point, I started working very, very hard on all the areas of neglect. This effort went on for about four or five  years after that "Ah ha" moment and continues. As a result, our emotional, intellectual connection improved greatly. Life is good, but our sex life or lack thereof has remained unchanged, sadly. We've discussed this at length and promises to connect more and so on are made. There has been little follow through on those promises.

It really bums me out, but I'm to blame. I fucked up and this is the price I pay. (Of course, she is in even better shape than me and still as attractive, so that adds insult to injury.) Clearly, I've never considered ending things because aside from the physical part, it all very good. Stumbling upon this adventure a couple of years ago  has banished any, even extremely remote, thought of splitting.

I hope things will change and we're still working on it. Until then, my periodic forays into this world helps a lot.

tl;dr Don't be an asshole or your SO will cut you off.

 

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On ‎6‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 11:10 PM, Jez UaBriain said:

After reading a thread about falling in love with a client, it was mentioned about the "wife experience". Meaning, when she quits putting out.

 

And while I do agree that for some clients there very well may be medical reasons.  But I base my some what educated answer on having been a wife in the not to distant past.

 

Has it ever occurred to some of you gentlemen that just maybe  she has become so bored with having sex with you that it has become like an unpleasant chore to her?  Now please. If you recognize this could be you and you want to throw out the "how she got fat, etc." excuses.  I just want you to look at yourself in the mirror naked. Think back to the routine of what passes for sex with your spouse.   That is it for most of us.  We have become bored with your dumb asses. Okay, okay, that is harsh, but , based on my own marital experience and that of a few if my friends it seems a pretty easy answer.

 

And for me it was. While I stayed being a hot little number, my ex- Mr. Jez , had let his dumb ass go.  He became slovenly. And he stank most the time .  When we did have sex it was the same every  time.  It had  ceased being fun , and had instead  become like a house hold chore for me. I was bored and more then tired of getting stuck with his wet spot.  After all, the "wet" is because he got his jollies and rolled on over to begin snoring so loudly that I am surprised he the noise ordnance was never  broken.

 

Now while I really didn't intend to denigrate anyone with this post, if anyone recognizes themselves- well then I am sorry for you, and for her.  But my whole purpose of writing this posting is because I'm tired of hearing about how the SO quit putting out once you put a ring on her finger. After all , her reason could just be YOU.

Good post, Jez. What I take away from it is 1) Stop playing the blame game, 2) focus on controlling your own self-improvement (and that includes making it your #1 job to remain sexually viable--overall fitness, kegels, libidinal/hormonal nutrition, grooming, knowledge), and 3) own your shit. More often than not, when we focus on upping our own game instead of trying to make the SO up theirs, the outcome is to our liking (assuming the relationship is salvageable). Cheers! ;) 

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This post was revived from June and I didn’t catch it till now.

Wow - a lot of people in this post I have to agree with including …URK! Steven.

In my experience – it was never the physical appearance that Jez rails against (although I would imagine that would hasten the relationship’s demise)  I’ve had several SO’s and LTR’s and the pattern was always the same. 

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Meet, fall in love for years.  You know each others star qualities but the imperfections become more evident as the sun does its trips around solar system. Boredom and resentment gnaw their way in… fights, breakups, rinse, lather and repeat.  It was never one sided – we both discovered that each others poop does actually, in fact, stink.  Sex was mutually physically satisfying but the connection waned as criticisms increase and respect decreased.  Again - on both sides. 

I have dumped and been dumped after this pattern all my life and have finally come to the conclusion like the Admiral – I’ll be alone the rest of my life and will live happily ever after that way. 

I love my Ex’s and they seem to be fond of me too… (now).  If the breakups aren’t too bitter – somehow, with the separation of living quarters, the star qualities come back into the light for each party.

Now - thanks to being very busy and my marriage conditioning - I can go months without sex! :):(

On 6/9/2017 at 11:41 PM, Jez UaBriain said:

 And they are grateful to spend a hour or more with a naked woman.       🍀

Me! More please...

 

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Or it could be like I suspect the problem a lot of us much older guys have. My wife (who I love very much) and I had great sex for 30 years or so. Then with several adverse changes to her body her libido just went away. She still likes to cuddle  but has zero interest in sex. She has problems I wouldn't wish on an enemy let alone someone I care about. I have slowed down a lot over the years, but still need it occasionally.  That's why I'm still here even though I don't participate much.

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38 minutes ago, Bigguy said:

... Then with several adverse changes to her body her libido just went away. She still likes to cuddle  but has zero interest in sex. She has problems I wouldn't wish on an enemy let alone someone I care about. ...

Same thing happened to my wife. I've had this conversation with several YL on the board who can't believe it happens, let alone that it would ever happen to them. (I wonder how they fare today.) And the truth is that some women pass through menopause w/o adverse effects, but not many. 

Thank you, ladies, for helping us keep our hormonal stress in balance while we maintain platonic relationships with our life partners. 

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On 6/6/2017 at 11:10 PM, Jez UaBriain said:

After reading a thread about falling in love with a client, it was mentioned about the "wife experience". Meaning, when she quits putting out.

 

And while I do agree that for some clients there very well may be medical reasons.  But I base my some what educated answer on having been a wife in the not to distant past.

 

Has it ever occurred to some of you gentlemen that just maybe  she has become so bored with having sex with you that it has become like an unpleasant chore to her?  Now please. If you recognize this could be you and you want to throw out the "how she got fat, etc." excuses.  I just want you to look at yourself in the mirror naked. Think back to the routine of what passes for sex with your spouse.   That is it for most of us.  We have become bored with your dumb asses. Okay, okay, that is harsh, but , based on my own marital experience and that of a few if my friends it seems a pretty easy answer.

 

And for me it was. While I stayed being a hot little number, my ex- Mr. Jez , had let his dumb ass go.  He became slovenly. And he stank most the time .  When we did have sex it was the same every  time.  It had  ceased being fun , and had instead  become like a house hold chore for me. I was bored and more then tired of getting stuck with his wet spot.  After all, the "wet" is because he got his jollies and rolled on over to begin snoring so loudly that I am surprised he the noise ordnance was never  broken.

 

Now while I really didn't intend to denigrate anyone with this post, if anyone recognizes themselves- well then I am sorry for you, and for her.  But my whole purpose of writing this posting is because I'm tired of hearing about how the SO quit putting out once you put a ring on her finger. After all , her reason could just be YOU.

Sounds miserable and gross.  I'm not an underwear model by any means but not too bad. I really want  so or as to like what they see,smell etc. It is only better for everyone.

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