BigDaddyB68

Providers that complain

83 posts in this topic

8 minutes ago, Admiral C said:

In my view, it's a good thing. OK..guy might not want to hear about negatives in the lady's life...might consider it a "bring down". HOWEVER.....consider how a woman is wired differently than a man. When a man talks about his problems, he gets all caught up in it and it brings him down. When a woman talks them out she is getting rid of the bad feeling they cause by talking. You are going to get a much happier, hornier, focused, NOT problem distracted provider after that talk.  Granted, you COULD hold to the ideal that she should "be totally professional and not say a negative word"....that she should just brass out the session . You could, BUT MOST guys want their playmate as genuinely engaged as possible.  IN short...ladies...feel free to dump on me like I am the last therapist on earth.....THEN jump on me like I am the last man on earth.

I think I'm in love ❤️ 

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I can look at this two ways. 

1. The lady needed someone to talk to, a kind ear. Maybe she doesn't have a lot of friends to talk to and found something in you that put her at ease to where she could open up on a more personal level. Maybe she needed something more than money out of the arrangement, maybe for those few minutes she needed a friend. I would take it as a complaint that she felt a connection to you enough where she should share a bit of her pain. Maybe there are few people in her life that just ask "how is your day" and at that moment she needs that. 

2. She is hustling you. You is playing your heartstrings in hopes of getting a better tip. If this case, I respect the game. I've hustled tips and kick backs much of my life. Some of the things I did for that extra dollar are things that I'm not overly proud of. I would respect her game. 

I some ways I would like to think she is playing me, making it up, because it is easier to deal with than the thought of a child with cancer and a mother who will do anything to get her child the help he or she needs, but either way, I would lend a kind ear, a strong shoulder, a comforting word, and an appropriate tip. 

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20 hours ago, TrystinTrimble said:

I just got a pretty bad review in return for candidly answering questions that he asked me. I highly doubt I will be able to let my guard down and answer future questions.  Perhaps theyre genuinely curious, or could looking for information that they can use to burn my ass like a ghost pepper . The latter will be something that has to be considered as a possibility and I hate having to question peoples motives like that just because one person made me a fool. 

I definitely cannot say i complain to garner extra tips...i already know that there is probably nothing that will make THAT happen as of late. What i can say is that my stock answer will just have to be one that is pleasing to the ear, as that is the right answer and the answer they want you to have. If I tell someone asking me about personal things that its all sunshine and blowjobs in my camp, then maybe one day it will become reality instead of my feel-good answer that im giving out of necessity.

I still just cant fathom why someone would ask me things that he doesnt want to hear about, act all genuine and interested to my face, then turn it into such a twisted thing. I can only guess that someone who does that is just a sneaky and mean spirited individual or that he was having a really bad time in his own life and wanted to punish someone he wouldnt have to deal with afterwards.

Fact is, I wish more than anything that i didnt have to try to determine whether they want the sugar coated correct answer or the truth. I also would give everything I own for those 2 answers to be much more similar than they are.

I'm sure that his fantasies of being a Dom started before and continued after the visit with you.  In fact his review is most likely part of that fantasy.  It sounds like he has a lot of trouble dealing with real life and slips in and out of the fantasies that he is trying to create.  He likely needs therapy and I'd suggest caution for any future young ladies who encounter him.

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3 minutes ago, CountryGentleman said:

I'm sure that his fantasies of being a Dom started before and continued after the visit with you.  In fact his review is most likely part of that fantasy.  It sounds like he has a lot of trouble dealing with real life and slips in and out of the fantasies that he is trying to create.  He likely needs therapy and I'd suggest caution for any future young ladies who encounter him.

 

...or maybe he is just an asshole. There I said it. The guys an asshole. ;)

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Tell me everything  baby, just make sure some of it is true... Im a listener

 

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Wow. Sorry, late to the game with this but if a woman breaks down in tears in front of me, I turn into jello and all I want to do is hug them, hold them and rock them to sleep. Guess that makes me a sort of a sucker.  I think what a lot of people don't realize is that the women in this profession carry enormous burdens, enormous pain and somehow they endure. Why else would anyone put themselves through this kind of cruel exposure? Been told many secrets by women over the years. It never once occurred to me to spill them open over an open forum. No. I'm simple, but I'll carry the burden of their secrets with me to the grave. 

God bless that woman and her child. 

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7 hours ago, Vassago said:

Wow. Sorry, late to the game with this but if a woman breaks down in tears in front of me, I turn into jello and all I want to do is hug them, hold them and rock them to sleep. Guess that makes me a sort of a sucker.  I think what a lot of people don't realize is that the women in this profession carry enormous burdens, enormous pain and somehow they endure. Why else would anyone put themselves through this kind of cruel exposure? Been told many secrets by women over the years. It never once occurred to me to spill them open over an open forum. No. I'm simple, but I'll carry the burden of their secrets with me to the grave. 

God bless that woman and her child. 

At least for now, we're all humans in this, with all the pleasures and problems that entails.  That's the risk we take when seeing someone.  Some days will be great, some not so much.  On the guys side, there's just as much variability.  Some guys will be very empathetic, others not so much.  

I know some are just ready for sexbots, then those become sentient, and there's a whole new mess of problems, when they start talking about the crippling lug nut shortage, and how rust is starting to build up in some of their joints...

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22 hours ago, daaacz said:

This might come off sounding like a personal attack, but I don't mean it that way.  I mean the generic "you," so please don't take this personally.

You know what's a buzzkill? Meeting someone for the first time and having them tell you their entire life story, including all the super personal stuff. This is something I don't want to get into in a "normal" conversation, much less before getting intimate. Do you tell strangers you meet at the coffee shop about your physical ailments, your financial problems, and your bad past relationships? For most of us, the answer is "no." Why would this be any different?

I like the personal connection as much as--or even more than--the physical acts. I enjoy talking and getting to know each other and I'll even show pictures of my kids if the subject comes up and I'm feeling connected. I think we both enjoy ourselves more if we know something personal about each other and are comfortable having a conversation. I suspect the forced intimacy of the situation makes some people more comfortable expressing themselves candidly, resulting in the "mood killers" the OP mentioned. I've also run into some people who don't have anyone they can talk to about this aspect of their lives, so they discuss details about other clients and experiences. I actually don't mind talking about any of this. It can be fascinating, but I would rather save these conversations for later in the encounter.

So, yeah, that's my two cents.

 

Do you buy coffee naked and then have sex with your barista? False equivalency.

It takes just a moment of listening to change someone's day. A little humanity goes a long way. This is an emotionally exhausting business, we providers spend our days being supportive of our clients and listening to their life stories while being expected to keep our feelings bottled up.

This isn't a business of forced intimacy. Intimacy is by and large the most common product sold by providers. We do so willingly. I don't mean to imply that you meant coercion I am just saying that intimacy is part of the job and most of us don't really have to fake it.

Bottom line is if you don't want to hear the reality of someone's life don't ask the questions that lead to those answers. And also, provider or not, women tend to be emotional creatures. If I am having a stressed out moment I need to work through it before I can think about blowing some dude.

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1 hour ago, Lucy Kitten said:

...

This isn't a business of forced intimacy. Intimacy is by and large the most common product sold by providers. We do so willingly. ....

In our little corner of the world(TOB) where GFE is the standard, I would agree with this statement.  Even more so in mistress (SB/SD) relationships. But for a vast portion of sex workers (amps, brothels, street trade, much of BP), No. When mechanical release is the goal, an emotional connection is not part of the deal. In these situations it is disruptive and often looked upon as scamming for a larger tip. 

Since the OP is new to our venue, I can see where he may be confused. 

Edited by Bit Banger
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22 hours ago, BigDaddyB68 said:

Prove my masculinity? Hmm.. My point to that reply was that I don't fit the typical stereotype of a nurse and I don't see the term "Murse" as sexist or demeaning.. The only way I could change my size would be to back away from the feed trough.   I really can't help my size.. my mom was 5'10, my Dad was 6'2"..  and I am the runt of the litter,  you should see my brother!

I don't see the term murse as being demeaning to men, I find it demeaning and a little bit sexist towards women. So what is the stereotype of the male nurse then? Smaller? Weaker? Effeminate? Why do you have to use your size to break stereotypes?

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28 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

In our little corner of the world(TOB) where GFE is the standard, I would agree with this statement.  Even more so in mistress (SB/SD) relationships. But for a vast portion of sex workers (amps, brothels, street trade, much of BP), No. When mechanical release is the goal, an emotional connection is not part of the deal. In these situations it is disruptive and often looked upon as scamming for a larger tip. 

Since the OP is new to our venue, I can see where he may be confused. 

intimacy does not mean sex.

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25 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

intimacy does not mean sex.

Agreed!  But my point was that the primary focus of adult boards (TOB being but one) is the Sex Trade, of which a significant portion does not involve intimacy. TOB leans toward more intimate encounters. This is something the OP may not have expected. 

Being nude with someone is neither sexual nor intimate. I live among nudists. We play games (pétanque, pickleball, volleyball, etc.), we go to dances & concerts, hang out at the pool & bar without benefit of clothing. Occasionally we may get into intimate conversations with friends, just as people do in the coffee shops of the 'textile' world. 

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Call me crazy, but I like to know a little bit about anyone I am fixing to be intimate with.  I want to chat a bit before hand and after - whether first time or tenth time. If I actually like the lady and get the impression feeling is mutual it makes the main event MUCH better.  For me anyway.  Everyone is different. That said there can be such a thing as too much too soon and making some people uncomfortable.

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On 4/21/2017 at 2:49 AM, Bit Banger said:

Make it a loop. Continue on 105 thru Monument, E to 83, then N past Castlewood Canyon SP to Parker. 

That's a good one also.

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On 4/20/2017 at 4:19 PM, TrystinTrimble said:

I just got a pretty bad review in return for candidly answering questions that he asked me. I highly doubt I will be able to let my guard down and answer future questions.  Perhaps theyre genuinely curious, or could looking for information that they can use to burn my ass like a ghost pepper . The latter will be something that has to be considered as a possibility and I hate having to question peoples motives like that just because one person made me a fool. 

I definitely cannot say i complain to garner extra tips...i already know that there is probably nothing that will make THAT happen as of late. What i can say is that my stock answer will just have to be one that is pleasing to the ear, as that is the right answer and the answer they want you to have. If I tell someone asking me about personal things that its all sunshine and blowjobs in my camp, then maybe one day it will become reality instead of my feel-good answer that im giving out of necessity.

I still just cant fathom why someone would ask me things that he doesnt want to hear about, act all genuine and interested to my face, then turn it into such a twisted thing. I can only guess that someone who does that is just a sneaky and mean spirited individual or that he was having a really bad time in his own life and wanted to punish someone he wouldnt have to deal with afterwards.

Fact is, I wish more than anything that i didnt have to try to determine whether they want the sugar coated correct answer or the truth. I also would give everything I own for those 2 answers to be much more similar than they are.

Great Rebbutal****just read the review 

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1 hour ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Great Rebbutal****just read the review 

Yes.  A great and necessary response.  Eloquent, honest, and as gentle as anyone could be in trying to correct all the wrongs that dudes review created. I visited with Ms Trimble very soon after his review posted and I hope y'all enjoy my review when it posts. If I were a different person, I'd be going after Mr Cranie in PMs and doing my best to oust him from this site, but I'll let him dig his own grave instead.  I'm still getting used to this Yelp system of deciding who to play with, and I have to say that I dont really rely on reviews that have so much disdain in them that they relay more about the writer than about the experience I might expect if I choose to partake.  The Yelp entitled  customer is always right vibe is just me, especially not with hobbying.  As most of the ads state, roses are donated for companionship and time spent and any activities that take place beyond that transaction are between two consenting adults.  I like remembering that this is actually true, and not just a disclaimer. And as Lucy said so succinctly , intimacy doesn't mean sex.  For me it includes a space where vulnerability can be a safe and good thing.

Edited by Unclehazard91
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18 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

I don't see the term murse as being demeaning to men, I find it demeaning and a little bit sexist towards women. So what is the stereotype of the male nurse then? Smaller? Weaker? Effeminate? Why do you have to use your size to break stereotypes?

In my post I said: "I don't fit the typical stereotype of a nurse",  which most people would say is female, I didn't say "male nurse". As of 2015 the ratio of females to males in nursing across the US is 9.5 to 1.  Most states it's 14-1. Most of the men that enter nursing didn't start their work life with the desire to be a nurse, myself included. 27 yrs ago I was making $7.00/hr working as a Paramedic in the streets. In 1992 I finished nursing school and went to work in an Emergency/Trauma unit.. Half the hours and more than double the pay. It was a no brainer for me.

There were many times being my size was not a good thing, I hit my head on surgical lights, x-ray machines, IV poles, and low flying cardiac monitors. If I was 5'10 and 170lbs it would have made it a lot easier to crawl in and out of cars upside down in the ditch or get to the head of the bed during a "Code Blue" when there's 10 people in the room.

There were also times that my size was an advantage. When a pissy ass doctor would loose her cool in the middle of the ER, I'd stand up, get in her face and shut her down. Or when patients would get violent, I was the only thing between them hurting themselves or hurting others. We didn't have security guards and many times I was the only "Male" employee in the building after 11pm.

I don't use my size to break stereotypes. I broke the stereotype the first day I stepped into nursing school. The pics of me in my white nursing smock were really attractive! I looked like the Pillsbury fucking dough-boy.  :)

 

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Growl said:  "That said there can be such a thing as too much too soon and making some people uncomfortable."   And this is my point exactly!

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21 minutes ago, BigDaddyB68 said:

Growl said:  "That said there can be such a thing as too much too soon and making some people uncomfortable."   And this is my point exactly!

Own it and be proud about it! Take your uniform off and lay down on the providers bed! There is no judgements only pure pleasure with a chance  escape from the outside world. 

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20 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

intimacy does not mean sex.

Ohhh Lucy nailed it! Pealing back the layers of the human mind we are able to connect more deeply with an individual. I call that "intamacy". 😘

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Hmm, I'll probably get a lot of grief over this...but lets flip the script. 

Does the provider charge for listening to her problems or does the session begin after she calms down ?  

"Sorry dude,your time is up,sorry we didn't do what you came here for,but I had to get my private life out of my system."

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16 hours ago, JRWolfe said:

Hmm, I'll probably get a lot of grief over this...but lets flip the script. 

Does the provider charge for listening to her problems or does the session begin after she calms down ?  

"Sorry dude,your time is up,sorry we didn't do what you came here for,but I had to get my private life out of my system."

I walk into an appt, and generally I will spend 10-15 minutes getting centered, De-nicotining my breath/hair/fingers, and making sure I have my supplies ready to go. I may make some small talk but I do not consider that part of an hour and I only ask that the gentleman not be hot on my ass about needing a few mins off clock before we start.  If I am aware that the guy is on lunch, has a place he must be at a certain time, or if Im running behind...then I will make that more like 3-5 mins so he can enjoy this experience too. I never just open our conversation with personal things unless it is directly pertinent to our talking...maybe Ill explain that I was late because I care for a parent and said parent is horrifically unconcerned about anyone's ease in helping her so she hijacked my time with zero fucks. If they want to know more, ill explain while im setting up...but jesus. The whole "complaining to garner sympathy or money" is something I dont think works well and its undignified bs for a respectable southern lady IMO. When someone does it to ME, it only makes me more guarded and more likely to be stingy with my resources.

As a former stripper, I learned not to be like the girls who used that as their main pitch for dances. We used to call it the "Mama-Martyr Technique" and it was mainly employed by single moms who would tell custimers that if they didnt do well that night, their kids would have no dinner/school supplies/whatever... but I am here to tell you, that the only ones who used that approach religiously were simply irresponsible as fuck and thought that having kids magically made their accountability go away when they decided to buy drugs or nail appts instead. The real bad bitches knew that their kids were for HER to lose sleep over and that work was not the place to be a downer.  Also,  who the hell sits with a guy and tells him ANY of that kid stuff? All that does is make him more aware of that c-section scar that she DOESNT wish for him to take into account...

Anyway. Point is...even if I do talk about my personal life any, or take a few mins upfront to get my game face on....its not gonna be on you guys' time because thats what I consider fair. 

 

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The only part I had a problem with was:

2 hours ago, TrystinTrimble said:

I walk into an appt, and generally I will spend 10-15 minutes getting centered, De-nicotining my breath/hair/fingers, and making sure I have my supplies ready to go. I may make some small talk but I do not consider that part of an hour and I only ask that the gentleman not be hot on my ass about needing a few mins off clock before we start.  ...

#1) "De-nicotine ..." These are things that should have been dealt with before.

#2) "... not part of an hour ..." while I agree that these should not be part of the client's time (see #1), this is not normal ASP behavior. I'll be looking at the clock and fuming  "Get it together! This appointment started 15 minutes ago."  Puts me in a great mood 😡 Then I'll feel rushed or short changed when I leave 'on the hour' as we've been trained.

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9 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

The only part I had a problem with was:

#1) "De-nicotine ..." These are things that should have been dealt with before.

#2) "... not part of an hour ..." while I agree that these should not be part of the client's time (see #1), this is not normal ASP behavior. I'll be looking at the clock and fuming  "Get it together! This appointment started 15 minutes ago."  Puts me in a great mood 😡 Then I'll feel rushed or short changed when I leave 'on the hour' as we've been trained.

+1 And her TOB profile says "Smoker: No" with no answer at all on P411. 

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24 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

The only part I had a problem with was:

#1) "De-nicotine ..." These are things that should have been dealt with before.

#2) "... not part of an hour ..." while I agree that these should not be part of the client's time (see #1), this is not normal ASP behavior. I'll be looking at the clock and fuming  "Get it together! This appointment started 15 minutes ago."  Puts me in a great mood 😡 Then I'll feel rushed or short changed when I leave 'on the hour' as we've been trained.

I assure you, It is usually a well rewarded wait. I am apologetically not as adept at "getting it together" as I would prefer.  I simply have too many plates to keep spinning and theyre full.

I would never want anyone to feel as if they have been shortchanged and I am continuously trying to improve this character flaw of mine. Its f-ing frustrating when something so commonly doable just escapes me year after year.  I do care...however my brain likes to work against my best intentions and i will never stop caring or trying...

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20 minutes ago, boink36 said:

+1 And her TOB profile says "Smoker: No" with no answer at all on P411. 

I wasnt smoking when I made that profile. But yeah youre correct indeed. Will edit.

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1 hour ago, boink36 said:

+1 And her TOB profile says "Smoker: No" with no answer at all on P411. 

Perhaps she vapes?  Many do not consider that smoking. 

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53 minutes ago, TrystinTrimble said:

... I would never want anyone to feel as if they have been shortchanged ...

That came across in your first post, but most clients will not understand that you have extended the session to allow for your 'get it together' time as this is not SOP. Therefore they will be anxious up front and short change themselves expecting the session to end 'on time'.  Communicating this difference to your clients may relieve stress on both parties. 

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4 hours ago, TrystinTrimble said:

 

As a former stripper, I learned not to be like the girls who used that as their main pitch for dances. We used to call it the "Mama-Martyr Technique" and it was mainly employed by single moms who would tell customers that if they didn't do well that night, their kids would have no dinner/school supplies/whatever... but I am here to tell you, that the only ones who used that approach religiously were simply irresponsible as fuck and thought that having kids magically made their accountability go away when they decided to buy drugs or nail appts instead. 

 

     During my DJ years in the strip clubs .I always noticed that the dancers that did NOT whine about their personal life,always made more money and had more repeat customers than the ones that did.

Subtle hint.

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None of these men give a flying fuck about anything but their cocks.

Remember ladies, we are just blow up dolls with no lives and we certainly aren't allowed to have a bad day at work, seeing as how sex work isn't work.

Personally, I wouldn't share anything personal with any clients seeing as how so many of these guys gossip more then any of the ladies I've met. Especially the guys who frequent the boards.


 

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