Serious question

[tide32]

17 hours ago, bluesbroker said:

Based solely on your homophobic comments, I'm guessing he has a healthier grasp of human sexuality than you do. 

I though he wanted honesty. We're supposed to give our openion, not suger coat things. 

[Guest]

Theres always shock therapy and conversion camps if thst darned social media lets "a gay" communicate with your kid.  Holy fuck what year are you living in?

[inkspot]

Perhaps his son is a little socially akward when it comes to the romance department. I am not for or against it but let me offer an option should you want to arrange this.  Why not work out a situation where an escort friend bumps into you and your son at a prearranged location. Many ladies are quite charming. She turns on the charm, you conveniently have to leave unexpectedly. She invites him home and he looses his cherry.

A friend of mine who used to have her own escort agency did this exact situation for her son. He never knew. Later she chuckled when she noticed a pair of handcuffs before going over to his girlfriends house.

[gr8owl]

2 hours ago, Ile Haversnatch said:

Babble as opposed to what, Christianity, Judaism? LMAO!

Glad to see I'm enigmatic  to you, Gr8owl but... #youcantjudgeme, especially not here.

Enigmatic - “Difficult to interpret or understand; mysterious”

 

I do not remotely find you enigmatic.  When I said “explains a lot” I meant your reference to Hillman, etc. made much more clear many of your earlier posts.  Explained vs. mysterious.

 

Freud to Hillman with Jung and others in between is collectively many voices still quoted but frequently in disagreement.  Connection to polytheism – again many voices, no clear path.  Both sound like:

 

Babble – “The confused sound of a group of people talking simultaneously”

 

Nothing in that is judgmental of you –  I do not even mention you – just responding to a post.

 

You on the other hand assume my religion and then try to insult it/me with “LMAO”.  Double decker judgmental.

 

Oh, and why “especially not here” ??  Are you saying very few if any here have morals or character??

 

But to stay on topic of OP – clearly you and I disagree. 

[SultryKitten]

I have a son and daughter around the same age, and while one has enjoyed the sexual aspect of relationships...the other hasn't because the opportunities in her life are such that it could complicate things, and she isn't ready. I have never told them to not do it, or to go crazy with it. I have told them that it is their responsibility to make the choice WHEN they decide to do it and with who/whom, and how to protect themselvesfor the usual realities of sexual activity.

I would say no too because your son has to have his own personal experience when it comes to sex, relationships, heartache, love...the beauty of growing up is our personal journey to become the person we are when we get older. While you want your children to have awesome experiences, we can't hold their hand when they are grown to do things that we hope for them...this is strictly something they have to do on their own.

Take him out and get him a drink( or two or more) and wish him the greatest 21st year of life with many blessings from his dear old dad! That is the proper rite of passage, and one he will "hopefully" cherish!

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

[BadBoy]

My son, who just turned 21, sounds just like yours, in other words better in every way than me.  I suspect he may be gay, since he has never had any interest in girls, and loves hanging out with the guys, but he may just be a guy's guy - I don't know, and I don't know if he even knows.  The point being that, besides the fact that the OP's idea is nothing more than an expression of significant control issues (i.e., you want to make sure that your son's first time is what you think a first time should be like), the homophobic nature of it could really damage what seems like a really good relationship.  At 21, the kid is who he is - if he is gay, he has always been gay and if you have always loved him, you shouldn't stop; if he is just a shy straight guy, he is a shy straight guy who might be completely damaged by his father forcing him into sex with a stranger.

Think of yourself, OP, how did you get here?  My guess is after a long chain of girlfriends, perhaps wives, etc., all of whom broke your heart in one way or another.  Your son needs that too.  Bumbling along through life on your own is your right and privilege, don't rob your son of that experience.

When my son turned 21 we asked him what he wanted, and he said that he wanted to combine his birthday present with his college graduation present and do what we have always talked about:  Rent a convertible Corvette in Seattle and drive down Highway One to San Diego - just us, staying in dive hotels, eating in diners, hanging out on the beach and drinking beer in low-life west-coast hangouts along the way.  Just a suggestion.

Edited March 24, 2017 by Badboy
because it needed editing

[jhooker]

On 3/22/2017 at 6:05 PM, tide32 said:

I though he wanted honesty. We're supposed to give our openion, not suger coat things. 

Thanks again tide, in our day honesty is just a word. the same people who like to criticize those who are NOT REAL, suddenly get all puckered up when a person SAYS WHAT THEY THINK. I've been called a homo phobe now which has nothing to do with the question , only because incidentally I happen to be an old school heterosexual. Yes, I personally don't like the whole idea of men fucking men, ok, and guess what, I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT. Now, if some of you do, great, have a good time with it. I don't like the idea of women fucking horses either, but some women like that, so am I HORSEY FUCK PHOBIC now!?!?!? Political correctness really doesn't fit here, we of all people should be able to respect opposing views , including classic views. 

To those of you who took the time to post thoughtful  replies I really appreciate it, a lot of us have kids, clients and providers, which bring out the fact that we are all real people privately , and so many of you are the salt of the earth despite what others may judge about you. Real giving thoughtful people A few of you are fucking assholes though, but it takes all kinds. 

I'm not saying I'm going to do this, if I did I wouldn't just say SURPRISE and take off his blindfold to a naked babe spread eagle on a bed with a party hat and whipped cream pussy, no, I would talk to him first. But I've read a lot of wisdom here I hadn't considered , and I really appreciate it, thanks. 

I'm leaning towards this being a generally  bad idea. 

[Mackonit]

On 3/21/2017 at 9:19 PM, jhooker said:

My son will be 21 this Spring. He's a great young man. He's a gentleman too, all around good guy. He graduated top of his class, setting off on a good solid career. He's been on a few dates with girls in his group, and they go in groups, so it is possible that he has had his first experience with a girl, but unlikely. His social circle is clean cut and the girls are into furthering their education. So.......you can see where this is going.......I would like opinions on this. Some of you girls are fantastic people, and I am pondering a 21st birthday gift, like maybe a beer and a hot sexy woman to show him what we men do behind closed doors. Any of you ladies ever helped a young man become a man? What is your opinion of this? Should he just grope around in the dark like the rest of us did trying to get our dicks wet for the first time? 

Another point, with the internet and social media being what it is, I wouldnt want some gay to get to him and trip him up that way, I would rather he get a taste of the real McCoy man, get a feel for bodacious ta ta's, get a fire lit for the view from behind when the doggy is howling at the moon, you know, all natural Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, Tone Loc Aint no Plans with a Man!!!!!!! So much confusion nowadays, it was much easyer when we were growing up, you just wernt a fag, period, no ands ifs or buts.

Now, I know of a few special girls that........IF.........IF........IF I decided to treat my young man to a special time that he will remember for the rest of his life, that would pop his cherry proper, but if any of you particularly enjoy this type of thing, and you are a good teacher and patient, PM me. Otherwise I would like to hear opinions from both the ladies and the guys. 

Thanks.

The path he chooses in life should be his and his alone. Be the good dad that I sure are and offer your advice when he comes to you.

 

[jhooker]

8 minutes ago, Mackonit said:

The path he chooses in life should be his and his alone. Be the good dad that I sure are and offer your advice when he comes to you.

 

More great advice, thank you

[tide32]

34 minutes ago, jhooker said:

Thanks again tide, in our day honesty is just a word. the same people who like to criticize those who are NOT REAL, suddenly get all puckered up when a person SAYS WHAT THEY THINK. I've been called a homo phobe now which has nothing to do with the question , only because incidentally I happen to be an old school heterosexual. Yes, I personally don't like the whole idea of men fucking men, ok, and guess what, I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT. Now, if some of you do, great, have a good time with it. I don't like the idea of women fucking horses either, but some women like that, so am I HORSEY FUCK PHOBIC now!?!?!? Political correctness really doesn't fit here, we of all people should be able to respect opposing views , including classic views. 

To those of you who took the time to post thoughtful  replies I really appreciate it, a lot of us have kids, clients and providers, which bring out the fact that we are all real people privately , and so many of you are the salt of the earth despite what others may judge about you. Real giving thoughtful people A few of you are fucking assholes though, but it takes all kinds. 

I'm not saying I'm going to do this, if I did I wouldn't just say SURPRISE and take off his blindfold to a naked babe spread eagle on a bed with a party hat and whipped cream pussy, no, I would talk to him first. But I've read a lot of wisdom here I hadn't considered , and I really appreciate it, thanks. 

I'm leaning towards this being a generally  bad idea. 

I have two sons and if one or both were gay it wouldn't make me love them any less. There my sons and always will be.

 

[Guest]

As a mother of 3... 2 sons and a daughter, 

I just simply asked them if they could have anything in this world and money was no issue... what would they want for their 21st birthday.... of  course they rattled off some very expensive and elaborate things,  but when they started saying things that I could afford that's what I did.... my boys both wanted to go to a full nude go go bar so what I did was purchase a VIP package for both my son's at a nice place..... plus I knew the girls because I used to bartend there and I got a great deal😆👍

[Admiral C]

I'm sure you and your son will have a great B-day of some kind. Tell ya what though.......if it does not go the way you originally posted about, I have a B-day coming up in May. You can get ME a gal...and I'm even down with the blindfold, SURPRISE. naked babe spread eagle on the bed with a party hat and whipped cream pussy thing......

[jhooker]

On 3/22/2017 at 6:40 PM, inkspot said:

Perhaps his son is a little socially akward when it comes to the romance department. I am not for or against it but let me offer an option should you want to arrange this.  Why not work out a situation where an escort friend bumps into you and your son at a prearranged location. Many ladies are quite charming. She turns on the charm, you conveniently have to leave unexpectedly. She invites him home and he looses his cherry.

A friend of mine who used to have her own escort agency did this exact situation for her son. He never knew. Later she chuckled when she noticed a pair of handcuffs before going over to his girlfriends house.

That's an idea 😆

[jhooker]

On 3/22/2017 at 6:35 PM, Unclehazard91 said:

Theres always shock therapy and conversion camps if thst darned social media lets "a gay" communicate with your kid.  Holy fuck what year are you living in?

Ok enough! I'm a fucking phobe get the fuck over it, I'm living in the year of group think apparently 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, jhooker said:

Thanks again tide, in our day honesty is just a word. the same people who like to criticize those who are NOT REAL, suddenly get all puckered up when a person SAYS WHAT THEY THINK. I've been called a homo phobe now which has nothing to do with the question , only because incidentally I happen to be an old school heterosexual. Yes, I personally don't like the whole idea of men fucking men, ok, and guess what, I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT. Now, if some of you do, great, have a good time with it. I don't like the idea of women fucking horses either, but some women like that, so am I HORSEY FUCK PHOBIC now!?!?!? Political correctness really doesn't fit here, we of all people should be able to respect opposing views , including classic views. 

To those of you who took the time to post thoughtful  replies I really appreciate it, a lot of us have kids, clients and providers, which bring out the fact that we are all real people privately , and so many of you are the salt of the earth despite what others may judge about you. Real giving thoughtful people A few of you are fucking assholes though, but it takes all kinds. 

I'm not saying I'm going to do this, if I did I wouldn't just say SURPRISE and take off his blindfold to a naked babe spread eagle on a bed with a party hat and whipped cream pussy, no, I would talk to him first. But I've read a lot of wisdom here I hadn't considered , and I really appreciate it, thanks. 

I'm leaning towards this being a generally  bad idea. 

Classic views? Are you honestly going to pass off your ignorant and offensive remarks with a euphemism to obscure your expressed contempt for homosexuals?  What you call political correctness used to be known as showing respect and tolerance to all human beings regardless of their beliefs, coincidentally, the same courtesy you ask for in your post. Hate anyone you want but this board isn't a safe zone for hateful speech. If you think people won't push back you're wrong.

 

 

[Guest]

Lack of ignorance of lack of fear of the lifestyles of others doesn't mean political or any other kind of correctness.  I personally do t feel that Im correct in any assertion or assumptions I'll make in this thread.  But I do feel that I do not fear what I am not ignorant of or about.

Edited March 24, 2017 by Unclehazard91

[Bit Banger]

I have to stand with Jhooker against the PC crowd. He is entitled to both have & express his opinion regarding homosexuality. Just as those who rail against him are entitled to do the same. But consider the hypocrisy. Perhaps he finds your condemnation  hurtful. To claim that he is ignorant is ignorance itself; he may have personal experiences upon which his opinions were formed. I find the protests disrespectful of him and of the American ideal of free speech. You're more than welcome to form and express your own opinion of him, but not to order his opinion(s) silenced.

I remember standing in Lincoln Park, Chicago, August 1968, with my dress greens & beret, and explaining to a yippie that I wore the uniform to protect his right to peaceful protest. One of the people I respected most while in the service was a medic, a contientious objector, who despite (or because of) his religious beliefs was performing his duty to the country which allowed him to hold those beliefs. 

Before you condemn this post as another homophobic rant - don't. I have dear friends & family who are homosexuals. I even dabbled with it in my youth, and found myself much more strongly drawn to females. I still consider those bi-tendencies part of my hedonistic viewpoint. 

No, this rant is about the hypocrisy of the PC culture. 

[FuriousWeasel]

You know, I think this is actually a great conversation here.  So many viewpoints, all of 'em valid.  The toughest part is, we just don't know your son.

I would consider this:  The best thing parents can do for their kids is offer them opportunities to explore life in all its offerings.  Most parents want to be able to say to their kid that "I am giving you the opportunity to go to college/trade school/whatever, lets talk about the pros and cons of various majors, and ultimately the choice is yours on what to do."   There is a line that's crossed sometimes where the parents force their kid though, like the girl I went through electrical engineering with for a while.  Her parents forced her into that, she had little interest in it, and it made her unhappy.  

So now your kid is also an adult.  The tone of your conversations with him should be changing by now.  It might not be changed as far as the work buddy you tell disgusting tasteless jokes to all day long, but honestly, I'd think that a man to man conversation about his sex life is OK.  Not the one sided conversation you have when he's 14 and embarrassed and just wants it to stop, but a no judgement conversation, where you can tell him about when you were his age and what it was like, stories of past girlfriends, all that.  Grab a six pack and go fishing is the perfect cover if you want.  

The most likely answer is probably that once he opens up a bit, he's likely to say "Oh god, I'm with these girls all the time, and I want to just bone them all day long, it's the only thing on my mind. But all guys my age have been taught that you need notarized permission slips, constantly ask 'may I' the entire time, and it's terrifying because of all that pressure."  So he just takes care of his frustrations with the porn machine on his desk...  Because from what I see, that's the new normal for kids these days unfortunately, especially in colleges.  Your response probably shouldn't be "Oh lets take you to one of my favorite escorts!", maybe just have a general conversation that time, and then a few days later, after you've "thought about it", suggest seeing an escort to get that first time out of the way if he wants.

Again, he's probably like most guys that age.  Nervous, shy, with no one to really have an honest conversation with.  It might be tough, but one of the things we hear on this forum so often is that honest communication is the best thing for having a good time and making ourselves feel better.

[tide32]

7 hours ago, jhooker said:

Ok enough! I'm a fucking phobe get the fuck over it, I'm living in the year of group think apparently 

Hay. People believe what they believe and i respect your rite to have them.   That's not bad, it's just life.

[Guest]

9 hours ago, jhooker said:

Thanks again tide, in our day honesty is just a word. the same people who like to criticize those who are NOT REAL, suddenly get all puckered up when a person SAYS WHAT THEY THINK. I've been called a homo phobe now which has nothing to do with the question , only because incidentally I happen to be an old school heterosexual. Yes, I personally don't like the whole idea of men fucking men, ok, and guess what, I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT. Now, if some of you do, great, have a good time with it. I don't like the idea of women fucking horses either, but some women like that, so am I HORSEY FUCK PHOBIC now!?!?!? Political correctness really doesn't fit here, we of all people should be able to respect opposing views , including classic views. 

To those of you who took the time to post thoughtful  replies I really appreciate it, a lot of us have kids, clients and providers, which bring out the fact that we are all real people privately , and so many of you are the salt of the earth despite what others may judge about you. Real giving thoughtful people A few of you are fucking assholes though, but it takes all kinds. 

I'm not saying I'm going to do this, if I did I wouldn't just say SURPRISE and take off his blindfold to a naked babe spread eagle on a bed with a party hat and whipped cream pussy, no, I would talk to him first. But I've read a lot of wisdom here I hadn't considered , and I really appreciate it, thanks. 

I'm leaning towards this being a generally  bad idea. 

WOW Just Wow

JHooker, You are certainly entitled to your opinions and to say and think whatever you want. Along with that freedom comes the right for others who don't happen to share your views to make comments of their own. For one who is so confident and bold in their own antiquated views as you, surely a little open discourse on the subject should be welcomed. After all, reasonable people can disagree and have discussions with the goal of civil discourse that will hopefully lead to understanding of an opposing view.

I agree this thread has lead to a discussion of open-mindedness and hope it doesn't devolve into finger pointing, name calling and intolerance from either side.

 

[Guest]

I have no issues with the OPs sexual preference.  I do think the myth of a facebook buddy corrupting his son comes from some kind of lack of information or an abundance of misinformation.  What about a club, a gym, a park, a store, a sidewalk, a busride, an airport, or wherevet else people meet people?  Certainly sexual orientation is a very personal matter.  To me, insinuating deviant behavior as I feel the OP has done, is not sentiment that comes from an informed person.

[Guest]

The whole issue isn't about a Politically Correct point of view versus what the OP calls "classical point of view", which seems to me to be more intolerant and bigoted, rather about having an open-minded discussion where perhaps some common ground can be achieved and maybe some tolerance for those who have opposing views.

Live and Let live, Right?

[Admiral C]

If we are going to be "politically correct" I suggest we lose the phrase "homo-phobic". I have always hated that term as it is a manipulative shame lable.  'What's the matter BOY...you AFRAID of gays? ( Phobia=fear) You AFRAID YOU might have gay tendencies? Some MAN YOU are...AFRAID of gays....PROVE you are NOT AFRAID and accept!!".  That's bullshit and NOT PC. If you want to disagree with someone who does not understand, agree with, like, or completely accept the gay lifestyle, try something accurate but not manipulative. How about  "not pro-gay"   (NPG)......."not gay supportive" ( NGS) ...gay resistant   (GR)....something like that. Don't be so terrified and threatened by people with different views....that kind of  Differencophobia terror is unwarrented. That said...I have never met a parent who, upon learning that a child was gay, said...'Yeah!!  Our child is gay! Let's get some champagne and celebrate!!" All plans, hope, images of the future go out the window and I guarantee they are in a tailspin for awhile. Just because your view may be the currently correct PC view, is no license to judgementaly point a finger and decry someone for being judgemental. 

[Bit Banger]

I have a sister who laments her children's choices in sexual partners (or lack thereof) not because she thinks they're wrong, but because she has no hope of ever being a grandmother. 😰

[Lucy Kitten]

2 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

I have to stand with Jhooker against the PC crowd. He is entitled to both have & express his opinion regarding homosexuality. Just as those who rail against him are entitled to do the same. But consider the hypocrisy. Perhaps he finds your condemnation  hurtful. To claim that he is ignorant is ignorance itself; he may have personal experiences upon which his opinions were formed. I find the protests disrespectful of him and of the American ideal of free speech. You're more than welcome to form and express your own opinion of him, but not to order his opinion(s) silenced.

I remember standing in Lincoln Park, Chicago, August 1968, with my dress greens & beret, and explaining to a yippie that I wore the uniform to protect his right to peaceful protest. One of the people I respected most while in the service was a medic, a contientious objector, who despite (or because of) his religious beliefs was performing his duty to the country which allowed him to hold those beliefs.  I saw Hacksaw Ridge too.

Before you condemn this post as another homophobic rant - don't. I have dear friends & family who are homosexuals. I even dabbled with it in my youth, and found myself much more strongly drawn to females. I still consider those bi-tendencies part of my hedonistic viewpoint. 

No, this rant is about the hypocrisy of the PC culture. 

Nope sorry, there are limits to expressing your opinion. What he expressed in his OP wasn't an opinion it was actually ignorance.  So basically what your saying and your understanding of free speech is that people should not push back on opinions that are hateful or hurtful? That gay people should just suck it up because he's entitled to not be silenced? You also don't get to decide what type of protest you fought for and you definitely are trying to silence people when you explain to them what sort of protest is allowed. So confusing, so war is OK. Men in Vietnam killing lots of innocent people, our troops coming home as hollowed out shells of men and lifetimes of physical and mental problems but we should keep our protests peaceful? Can you point out all the times in history that peaceful protest actually accomplished something?

I will also condemn this as slightly homophobic. By protecting the OP's ignorant opinions on homosexuality you are ignoring the LGBTQs that are hurt by that kind of thinking. Sometimes it's not about people being too PC sometimes it's about people being ignorant and insensitive. Being worried that the "gays" are out to recruit your adult son and using the excuse I came from a different time is weak.

I don't see any PC hypocrisy in this thread. Just people that were rightly offended by insensitive comments. And arguments from the anti-PC crowd to protect their right to be offensive and call it free speech. The OP asked a fully loaded question and to expect everyone to ignore all that he wrote and focus on whether or not he should hire a chick for his son is laughable.

 

[Guest]

I despise political correctness and see it more as a limit on free speech than anything else. Everyone is entitled to their own points of view (period).

You have a right to say what you feel and I have a right to be offended if I disagree, or not be offended if I choose. Being a Classic Liberal myself, I have a "'live and let live" philosophy. No one is going to convince the OP otherwise in the views he's expressed here, he's too closed minded and, yes exhibiting fear towards certain people and how they are oriented in their sexuality. Hey, he's entitled to his views and we can have a discussion on tolerance and acceptance without personal attacks or name calling.

[Lucy Kitten]

1 minute ago, Bit Banger said:

I have a sister who laments her children's choices in sexual partners (or lack thereof) not because she thinks they're wrong, but because she has no hope of ever being a grandmother. 😰

Biological grandmother. Don't have to have a partner to be a parent. Don't have to conceive in the traditional way to be a parent.

[jhooker]

6 hours ago, bluesbroker said:

Classic views? Are you honestly going to pass off your ignorant and offensive remarks with a euphemism to obscure your expressed contempt for homosexuals?  What you call political correctness used to be known as showing respect and tolerance to all human beings regardless of their beliefs, coincidentally, the same courtesy you ask for in your post. Hate anyone you want but this board isn't a safe zone for hateful speech. If you think people won't push back you're wrong.

 

 

Right man, today's progressives are yesterdays Klan, you talk about respecting opinions out of the corner of your mouth. The gloves are off, if one thing is clear about the past election and the the circus surrounding it, the liberal left is anything but passive and non violent. The tables are turned, now you wear the white sheets hahahahaha.  

You push back alright , you push back when nobody pushed you, which makes YOU the pusher hahahahaha . 

Think about it, what did I do? I asked a personal question , part of it was actually more concern about the digital age we live in where I have no idea how it may be affecting a young mind vs a older mature mind, where every idea however twisted can be viewed .  Then every gay crusader stood up to defend gay rights? Aren't we a little jumpy? I could give a fuck about y'alls gay agenda that's not what this is about but your going to beat that drum anyway so fuck it call me whatever I couldn't care less. Thankfully there are some really good responses here ADDRESSING THE TOPIC that have some really good advice, thanks to those of you giving thoughtful opinions ABOUT THE TOPIC. 

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

I have a sister who laments her children's choices in sexual partners (or lack thereof) not because she thinks they're wrong, but because she has no hope of ever being a grandmother. 😰

There are literally tens of thousandsof Foster children waiting for anyone to adopt them.

Edited March 24, 2017 by MrBigShot

[Guest]

1 minute ago, jhooker said:

Right man, today's progressives are yesterdays Klan, you talk about respecting opinions out of the corner of your mouth. The gloves are off, if one thing is clear about the past election and the the circus surrounding it, the liberal left is anything but passive and non violent. The tables are turned, now you wear the white sheets hahahahaha.  

You push back alright , you push back when nobody pushed you, which makes YOU the pusher hahahahaha . 

Think about it, what did I do? I asked a personal question , part of it was actually more concern about the digital age we live in where I have no idea how it may be affecting a young mind vs a older mature mind, where every idea however twisted can be viewed .  Then every gay crusader stood up to defend gay rights? Aren't we a little jumpy? I could give a fuck about y'alls gay agenda that's not what this is about but your going to beat that drum anyway so fuck it call me whatever I couldn't care less. Thankfully there are some really good responses here ADDRESSING THE TOPIC that have some really good advice, thanks to those of you giving thoughtful opinions ABOUT THE TOPIC. 

I guess I was mistaken that you could have a civil or even rational discussion.