I had to abort

[jhooker]

So i was looking over the adds, saw an alluring young woman that peaked my interest. She had a p411 link that went to a non existent page, i figuered maybe she let her page lapse i dont know do girls pay for memberships? One negative.

She has a few reviews. Did some cross checks, only go back 4 or 5 months. Reviewers lists only had one or two providers i knew or even heard of. Can review lists be made up? Can legit providers be on a fake list without their knowledge? Wasnt positive......but they were reviews. Grey at best.

Made contact via text. Requested a time and she said yes and for how long. To me this was another flag, no asking me for refs just sure for how long. 2 negatives.

I told her an hour, she replied with the donation amount which i didnt want to know and didnt ask for, i already knew anyway. 3 negatives

By this time i was way out on a limb and thinking seriously about backing out, then she says please bring condoms. Boom that was enough for me, discussing rates then asking me to bring the dice to the back room casino? Nah! Nah! 

Either this girl is too dumb, or shes a bust one, either way not interested. I opted instead to see one of my regs and had a great night. 

Its getting hairy out there, or is it me? 

[Vassago]

Good story. I look forward to reading the review.

[Lucy Kitten]

I think it's both, I think it's getting hairy out there and it's a little bit you.

When you texted her did you say where you saw her ad? If you didn't that might be why she's telling you rates, if she has also posted on BP that would be my guess why. Since the ladies have shifted the dating side of things we can't post rates in ads and so it's become more common to spit out rates before conversation goes too far.

Did you ask about her P411 link? I have noticed a few ladies copy incorrect links to their P411 profile. TOB automatically ads www. to linked websites, my website doesn't have the www and it results in a dead link. It helps to ask. Did you offer references? She may not know to ask for them. There are a lot of new to TOB people and not all are familiar with the unwritten rules.

I have been around for over 7 years and currently have no idea who the majority of reviewers and reviewees are. Not knowing doesn't discredit reviews and to imply that there are fake review lists is suggesting that the mods aren't really doing their jobs.

Maybe asking you to bring condoms is a little uncouth but if you have a penis and like promiscuous sex why don't you have them already?

It kinda sounds like you relied on nothing but research and didn't ask her questions, it's really hard to follow the rules when you're not making them clear.

[JRWolfe]

Always better to be safe ,than sorry.But Lucy Kitten does make a point. The field has changed.

[NicoleSaunders]

I'll also add...she may have checked out your phone number and found reviews or references from ladies youve seen. That happens with me a lot, I dont ask a lot of questions...only ones I really need to know. While references are nice, I dont depend on them because for one, many times I dont hear back from a lady and for two, if I dont know who she is,  Im not going to just take her word for it, not like if its a lady I do know.  So,  if everything about a guy checks out with the info I have, I may not need any reference at all.  Some guys just super easy to screen.

I personally dont give out info like what she gave you...I always refer a guy to my website to make sure hes clear on my rates and other info.  But yeah, a lot of ladies will just go ahead and say so, from what I understand, to avoid any misunderstandings.  Ive heard too many horror stories of guys claiming to short cut a girl because they say they didnt know her rates.  

The condom thing is a bit strange I'll admit....but all the same, disregarding ALL of what I just said, at the end of the day it is always best to listen to our gut.  Sometimes, every single thing about a guy can completely check out just fine, and he seems just fine, and theres no logical reason at all why I shouldnt see him except for a sinking feeling in my gut.  I always listen to my gut...so for that I'l lsay you did the right thing. Better to err on the side of caution.

[fishndude57]

I'd be leery discussing terms as well. Yup, might be a reason for me to bail right there. As far as the condoms go, I always take my own, did have one Lady ask me to pick up a box of them for her lol. I did. She didn't even reimburse me, call it a tip I guess. I've got an appointment with a lightly reviewed lady coming up, I'm gonna go ahead and roll the dice. We'll see how it goes. Reviews are nice, but not necessary.

[Admiral C]

I think you made a good call. Too many red flags. The age old gold standard to get busted is talk of rate....and sex act. Now, no sex act in particular was mentioned (at that point) but bringing condoms could certainly be argued as evidence of an intent to have sex. I would not have gone either.

[jhooker]

Thanks Admiral, thats how I felt. Kitten yes I have a penis and no I don't practice unsafe sex, but how about a client ask you if you have condoms or should he bring some? You would be like really? C'mon Kit, sure I have condoms because I prefer some over others, but you would think that between the two of us we should be able to produce a rubber without blurting it out like two highschool kids under the bleachers. Might as well just ask if we are going to fuck or just suck c'mon, asking me to bring condoms is the same thing unless it's a summer day and she ran out of water balloons then maybe I might be able to worm my way out of a bust.

Hey newbies pay attention, this is how you keep your ass safe and free to fuck another day, your always posting wanting to know, well here you go. Sometimes you have to use the big head and ignore the little head. And if your a provider back me up girls, we all need to be safe, have fun, make money, make love, enjoy our freedom, BUT BE SAFE. It shouldnt take that long to learn the ropes. If you can't learn some common sense do's and don'ts in a short time then its just a matter of time for you. And maybe getting busted won't be the worst thing that happens to you.

[jhooker]

The other question is whether things might tighten up under the new admin

[gr8owl]

16 hours ago, jhooker said:

So i was looking over the adds, saw an alluring young woman that peaked my interest. She had a p411 link that went to a non existent page, i figuered maybe she let her page lapse i dont know do girls pay for memberships? Yes One negative. Did you log in and search for her handle/name?  Could be dead link ... or just inactive.

She has a few reviews. Did some cross checks, only go back 4 or 5 months. Reviewers lists only had one or two providers i knew or even heard of. Can review lists be made up? One bogus review maybe, but a list of reviews - unlikely.  Can legit providers be on a fake list without their knowledge? Wasnt positive......but they were reviews. Grey at best.  Fake review list .... not likely.  No motive like pay to review sites like TER

Made contact via text. Requested a time and she said yes and for how long. To me this was another flag, no asking me for refs just sure for how long. 2 negatives. Some ladies do not ask for references until they know you are serious and want more than a 15 minute quickie (some like, some no)

I told her an hour, she replied with the donation amount which i didnt want to know and didnt ask for, i already knew anyway. 3 negatives  No harm whatsoever in discussing fees, just not services.  In fact I will never visit a lady without knowing fee ahead of time.  Discuss fees all the time.

By this time i was way out on a limb and thinking seriously about backing out, then she says please bring condoms. Boom that was enough for me, discussing rates then asking me to bring the dice to the back room casino? Nah! Nah! Usually bring my own anyway cause I know brand and variety I like.  Have picked up on way before as well, although usually lady I already knew.  I also have been told by a lady she will not take condoms with her because she believes police can arrest her for prostitution if she has condoms on her.

Either this girl is too dumb, or just fairly new and not as "polished" as experienced ladies. or shes a bust one, either way not interested. I opted instead to see one of my regs and had a great night. Hope you clearly cancelled and did not NCNS her.

Its getting hairy out there, or is it me? 

See red above.  Yes, I think it is mainly you BUT everyone is understandably more on edge of late and it is always good to be cautious.  But appears to me to be harmless explanations for most of your concerns.  But both sides need to be comfortable.

[Lucy Kitten]

10 hours ago, jhooker said:

Thanks Admiral, thats how I felt. Kitten yes I have a penis and no I don't practice unsafe sex, but how about a client ask you if you have condoms or should he bring some? You would be like really? C'mon Kit, sure I have condoms because I prefer some over others, but you would think that between the two of us we should be able to produce a rubber without blurting it out like two highschool kids under the bleachers. Might as well just ask if we are going to fuck or just suck c'mon, asking me to bring condoms is the same thing unless it's a summer day and she ran out of water balloons then maybe I might be able to worm my way out of a bust.

Hey newbies pay attention, this is how you keep your ass safe and free to fuck another day, your always posting wanting to know, well here you go. Sometimes you have to use the big head and ignore the little head. And if your a provider back me up girls, we all need to be safe, have fun, make money, make love, enjoy our freedom, BUT BE SAFE. It shouldnt take that long to learn the ropes. If you can't learn some common sense do's and don'ts in a short time then its just a matter of time for you. And maybe getting busted won't be the worst thing that happens to you.

I don't have issues with the condom conversation, if we've both done our homework then it's really not a big deal to talk about condoms when sex is involved. Like adults not high school students.

I don't think you actually gave any advice on how to be safe. You called an ad and then cancelled but really did no follow through. You don't stay safe by being paranoid and assuming that everyone knows the rules. How do you know how long it takes to learn the ropes? There is no guidebook and as you can see from the reactions around here not too many are willing to help those that aren't already TOB approved. You had an opportunity to help teach someone the ropes but you came here and called them dumb or a possible bust. So how do you really expect anyone to learn?

Let's be honest you didn't play safe and are trying to lay blame on dumb newbies and now trying and rally support from providers under the guise of safety. You didn't verify her P411 and you didn't offer references but went ahead anyways. You didn't do your part you just assumed that since there were reviews and a dead  P411 link that you did.  Common sense goes both ways.

Way to wish getting busted on people that don't play by your "rules". That's cruel and ridiculous. You need to acknowledge that you didn't follow the do's and don'ts before you criticize others and wish them busted.

[Lucy Kitten]

10 hours ago, jhooker said:

The other question is whether things might tighten up under the new admin

What needs to be tightened up? So because there is a dead P411 link and reviews you might think are fake all of a sudden admin needs to tighten up?

[Guest]

Booker, you did what was right for YOU. Everyone, not just the ladies need to follow your gut. Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you. Could have been an innocent mistake with the p411 link, doesn't matter. You felt uncomfortable. As long as you called and didn't ncns, there's not a problem.  As for condoms, bad form on her part. A lady should always be prepared. If a guy likes a certain kind, then yes he should bring his own. 

[Keyser]

3 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

What needs to be tightened up? So because there is a dead P411 link and reviews you might think are fake all of a sudden admin needs to tighten up?

Not positive, but I read it as referring to enforcement in general getting stricter under a conservative President/administration, rather than TOB/P411 administration?

I could also be way off the mark...

 

[Bit Banger]

2 minutes ago, Keyser said:

Not positive, but I read it as referring to enforcement in general getting stricter under a conservative President/administration, rather than TOB/P411 administration?

I could also be way off the mark...

 

That was my interpretation as well. 

[Lucy Kitten]

36 minutes ago, Keyser said:

Not positive, but I read it as referring to enforcement in general getting stricter under a conservative President/administration, rather than TOB/P411 administration?

I could also be way off the mark...

 

Well I never got the impression that mods were any more or less diligent about moderating reviews under any ownership.

I got the impression from the OP that there are many new reviewers and providers and that the reviews might not be legit.

[Mustang87]

No one on here, not the guys nor the gals, need a reason to back out if something does not feel right. If you perceive a red flag, and perception is in the eye of the beholder, you need to walk.  Of course, if an appointment has been made you need to cancel it, and then you need to walk. 

[jhooker]

On 2/21/2017 at 10:02 PM, gr8owl said:

See red above.  Yes, I think it is mainly you BUT everyone is understandably more on edge of late and it is always good to be cautious.  But appears to me to be harmless explanations for most of your concerns.  But both sides need to be comfortable.

Thanks for the play by play really, Im not a newbie but im not an old hand either, can always learn from someone else. And no I did not NCNS I cordially declined

[jhooker]

Kitten, I mean no hostility  at all please don't be hyper sensitive to my rougher vocabulary edges. It is something that happenned, and it is pertinent to our hobby, therefore of interest to some. Open to debate of course thats the whole idea, but please dont turn this into a us vs them piece its just something that happened thats all. And what I meant concerning the ADMIN is the new presidential admin, and the emphasis on LE. Could there be more crackdowns coming and could there be a little edgyness in the air already is what Im saying

[jj254-1]

The right answer is always no if you don't want to get caught.

Seems some bad info floating though. Asking for condoms = cop? Really? Like they want to toss up a roadblock to your arrest? They don't need shit to arrest you. Don't need you say anything. Ask for anything. Don't need to prove anything. That shit's for convictions. They don't care about that in a sting. You show up to a sting you're gonna get busted. Don't matter what technicality you plan to use to beat the charge. No one cares if the charge is dropped 6 months later. Ain't no head line about 'DA drops 12 of 47 Solicitation Charges From June of Last Year.' The headline is just '47 Arrested in Sting Yesterday.' You won't know it's a sting until they arrest you. There's no other absolute give-away. 

I've had the conversation you described too many times to count (condom question only 3-4 times). It means the girl ain't worried about getting busted. That's all. The condom thing means she's out. She don't wanna go buy them. She don't wanna bare back either. You don't wanna see her? Cool. She broke your personal rules? Ok. But don't pretend she committed an offense against the community. 

[Guest]

I'd agree with backing out. That had enough gut feeling negatives to back out. Simple as that.

[SabrinaLynn aka KatieCreme]

On 2/21/2017 at 5:46 AM, jhooker said:

So i was looking over the adds, saw an alluring young woman that peaked my interest. She had a p411 link that went to a non existent page, i figuered maybe she let her page lapse i dont know do girls pay for memberships? One negative.

She has a few reviews. Did some cross checks, only go back 4 or 5 months. Reviewers lists only had one or two providers i knew or even heard of. Can review lists be made up? Can legit providers be on a fake list without their knowledge? Wasnt positive......but they were reviews. Grey at best.

Made contact via text. Requested a time and she said yes and for how long. To me this was another flag, no asking me for refs just sure for how long. 2 negatives.

I told her an hour, she replied with the donation amount which i didnt want to know and didnt ask for, i already knew anyway. 3 negatives

By this time i was way out on a limb and thinking seriously about backing out, then she says please bring condoms. Boom that was enough for me, discussing rates then asking me to bring the dice to the back room casino? Nah! Nah! 

Either this girl is too dumb, or shes a bust one, either way not interested. I opted instead to see one of my regs and had a great night. 

Its getting hairy out there, or is it me? 

As it goes for ladies it also goes for you gentlemen...GO WITH YOUR GUT INSTINCTS..

[jhooker]

7 hours ago, jj254 said:

The right answer is always no if you don't want to get caught.

Seems some bad info floating though. Asking for condoms = cop? Really? Like they want to toss up a roadblock to your arrest? They don't need shit to arrest you. Don't need you say anything. Ask for anything. Don't need to prove anything. That shit's for convictions. They don't care about that in a sting. You show up to a sting you're gonna get busted. Don't matter what technicality you plan to use to beat the charge. No one cares if the charge is dropped 6 months later. Ain't no head line about 'DA drops 12 of 47 Solicitation Charges From June of Last Year.' The headline is just '47 Arrested in Sting Yesterday.' You won't know it's a sting until they arrest you. There's no other absolute give-away. 

I've had the conversation you described too many times to count (condom question only 3-4 times). It means the girl ain't worried about getting busted. That's all. The condom thing means she's out. She don't wanna go buy them. She don't wanna bare back either. You don't wanna see her? Cool. She broke your personal rules? Ok. But don't pretend she committed an offense against the community. 

Great rebuttal , made a lot of sense, that's the kind of rational thinking needed in the endless yet necessary debate that increases our general experience and wisdom. 

Except for the ending , I'm not pretending anything , I'm living it. So far so good.

[Admiral C]

23 hours ago, jj254 said:

The right answer is always no if you don't want to get caught.

Seems some bad info floating though. Asking for condoms = cop? Really? Like they want to toss up a roadblock to your arrest? They don't need shit to arrest you. Don't need you say anything. Ask for anything. Don't need to prove anything. That shit's for convictions. They don't care about that in a sting. You show up to a sting you're gonna get busted. Don't matter what technicality you plan to use to beat the charge. No one cares if the charge is dropped 6 months later. Ain't no head line about 'DA drops 12 of 47 Solicitation Charges From June of Last Year.' The headline is just '47 Arrested in Sting Yesterday.' You won't know it's a sting until they arrest you. There's no other absolute give-away. 

I've had the conversation you described too many times to count (condom question only 3-4 times). It means the girl ain't worried about getting busted. That's all. The condom thing means she's out. She don't wanna go buy them. She don't wanna bare back either. You don't wanna see her? Cool. She broke your personal rules? Ok. But don't pretend she committed an offense against the community. 

Ok. But don't pretend she committed an offense against the community.  I don't think anyone is saying that.  She is probably committing an offense against her own business by acting in a manner that will drastically increase the number of guys who back out on her. Certainly there could be many reasons for her somewhat unusual request regarding condoms. Maybe she has no way to go get them or no money. Perhaps it's a back handed way to say..."everything is covered, french included". Who knows, it could even be sort of a "mandatory tip" and when he agreed she might have said, "while you are there, would you be a dear and also pick me up two packs of Marlboroughs and a 12 pack of soda?" In the end, you pays your nickle, you takes your chance. Her policies take the chance guys will abort.....the guys take the chance of go...not go.

[Guest]

On 2/21/2017 at 5:46 AM, jhooker said:

So i was looking over the adds, saw an alluring young woman that peaked my interest. She had a p411 link that went to a non existent page, i figuered maybe she let her page lapse i dont know do girls pay for memberships? One negative.

She has a few reviews. Did some cross checks, only go back 4 or 5 months. Reviewers lists only had one or two providers i knew or even heard of. Can review lists be made up? Can legit providers be on a fake list without their knowledge? Wasnt positive......but they were reviews. Grey at best.

Made contact via text. Requested a time and she said yes and for how long. To me this was another flag, no asking me for refs just sure for how long. 2 negatives.

I told her an hour, she replied with the donation amount which i didnt want to know and didnt ask for, i already knew anyway. 3 negatives

By this time i was way out on a limb and thinking seriously about backing out, then she says please bring condoms. Boom that was enough for me, discussing rates then asking me to bring the dice to the back room casino? Nah! Nah! 

Either this girl is too dumb, or shes a bust one, either way not interested. I opted instead to see one of my regs and had a great night. 

Its getting hairy out there, or is it me? 

Good call...