JProducer

ISO Provider wanting to be Pampered

33 posts in this topic

Looking for a lovely lady that wouldn't mind being pampered for a change. I am looking to meet sometime during the week of 2/19 to 2/25. All I want is a little striptease from you. Then, I get to work... You would receive a message and DATY to cap off the event. That is all I'm looking for. Let me know if that peaks your interest and I would love to schedule something.

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Hope you ladies that contact Officer Friendly screen well...

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Another candidate for "Best 1st Post of the Year?" There's a bunch of em. I especially like the you will receive a message part. 

Edited by fishndude57
Misspelled word.
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On ‎2‎/‎13‎/‎2017 at 0:45 PM, JProducer said:

Looking for a lovely lady that wouldn't mind being pampered for a change. I am looking to meet sometime during the week of 2/19 to 2/25. All I want is a little striptease from you. Then, I get to work... You would receive a message and DATY to cap off the event. That is all I'm looking for. Let me know if that peaks your interest and I would love to schedule something.

The message has piqued my twin peaks and my twin kiwis!!

Please call me @ BR - 549 ASAP

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4 hours ago, Laci French said:

Hope you ladies that contact Officer Friendly screen well...

You must be unequivocally clever or you suffer from paraphasia... jury is still out.

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3 hours ago, fishndude57 said:

Another candidate for "Best 1st Post of the Year?" There's a bunch of em. I especially like the you will receive a message part. 

Well, thank you for honoring me with such a distinct honor... I appreciate the note on the typo. It's supposed to massage. I especially like your abbreviated colloquialism. 

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1 hour ago, JProducer said:

Well, thank you for honoring me with such a distinct honor... I appreciate the note on the typo. It's supposed to massage. I especially like your abbreviated colloquialism. 

It is a distinct honor to be the proud author of the "Best 1st Post of The Year". I will add the caveat "It's only February" however. Also substitute "worst" for "Best" since it's like a Razzie Award for D Bags who have no etiquette or don't know how to use PM's to contact providers so they blast inappropriate BS in the Open Forums.

Maybe you'll surprise us and this is only a naïve mistake and not a sign of someone w/o a clue as to how to have a discussion here in the Open Forum.

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15 minutes ago, Kayleehotchick said:

Will you be giving the gift of silver bracelets and a free trip to jail too?

Well, your paraprosdokian sentence is certainly a class of it's own.

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Daaaamn! I got excited there for like 5 seconds when I saw the word "pampered". Then I saw all of the posts, and am now disappointed. Buzzkillers!!!

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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37 minutes ago, SultryKitten said:

Daaaamn! I got excited there for like 5 seconds when I saw the word "pampered". Then I saw all of the posts, and am now disappointed. Buzzkillers!!!

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

Don't want to take the NewbieTroll (errrr LE Officer) up on his offer? Where's your sense of adventure?

Best bring your Thesaurus along should you have a change of heart. This Detective is a wordsmith.

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10 hours ago, Laci French said:

Hope you ladies that contact Officer Friendly screen well...

Lol...RIGHT?!😂💞😂

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3 hours ago, JProducer said:

Well, your paraprosdokian sentence is certainly a class of it's own.

Is "paraprosdosian" a real word or did he just pull that out of his ass.:angry:

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6 minutes ago, tide32 said:

Is "paraprosdosian" a real word or did he just pull that out of his ass.:angry:

It's a real one, can't remember the last time I heard such logorrhea in this type of forum though.

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4 minutes ago, decafnaetd said:

I stopped using pampers. I've switched to Huggies.

They're supposed to be better with overnight  leakage 😂😂💏💏💏😂😂😂

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6 hours ago, decafnaetd said:

I stopped using pampers. I've switched to Huggies.

It all Depends 😄

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JProducer: First off welcome to the board. Seems a reasonable request. BUT asking for specific services etc. before even introducing yourself is asking us all to immediately trust someone that no one knows anything about. Especially in current atmosphere that will cause posts like you see. Stay a while, contribute a bit let folks know you are not LE or asshat and a whole lot of folks will try to help. Meantime search ads and reviews and read a lot of threads. It really can be a good place with lots of info and help.

To the board comedians: would it kill you all to recognize that newbies will act like newbies and ask shit they shouldn't and oh, i dunno, try to help them instead of pounding their dick in the dirt? I guess none of you were ever new here. Badgering over typos - really??

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6 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

To the board comedians: would it kill you all to recognize that newbies will act like newbies and ask shit they shouldn't and oh, i dunno, try to help them instead of pounding their dick in the dirt? I guess none of you were ever new here. Badgering over typos - really??

I resemble that remark and am proud to be considered the buffoon I so aspire to become 

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3 hours ago, gr8owl said:

JProducer: First off welcome to the board. Seems a reasonable request. BUT asking for specific services etc. before even introducing yourself is asking us all to immediately trust someone that no one knows anything about. Especially in current atmosphere that will cause posts like you see. Stay a while, contribute a bit let folks know you are not LE or asshat and a whole lot of folks will try to help. Meantime search ads and reviews and read a lot of threads. It really can be a good place with lots of info and help.

To the board comedians: would it kill you all to recognize that newbies will act like newbies and ask shit they shouldn't and oh, i dunno, try to help them instead of pounding their dick in the dirt? I guess none of you were ever new here. Badgering over typos - really??

I really should've handled my part better. I'm sorry JP.

Hope you have many fantastic encounters.:)

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4 hours ago, gr8owl said:

JProducer: First off welcome to the board. Seems a reasonable request. BUT asking for specific services etc. before even introducing yourself is asking us all to immediately trust someone that no one knows anything about. Especially in current atmosphere that will cause posts like you see. Stay a while, contribute a bit let folks know you are not LE or asshat and a whole lot of folks will try to help. Meantime search ads and reviews and read a lot of threads. It really can be a good place with lots of info and help.

To the board comedians: would it kill you all to recognize that newbies will act like newbies and ask shit they shouldn't and oh, i dunno, try to help them instead of pounding their dick in the dirt? I guess none of you were ever new here. Badgering over typos - really??

Oh wise one, and I really don't mean that facetiously, you ought to post a newbie 1st post etiquette thread. You're pointing straight at me so I'll tell ya I see a level of disrespect on some 1st posts, and yeah I'm gonna say something. I agree introductions are a nice way to start, not how I did it tho, but I did not demean anybody by any means. Also, I find your post somewhat ludicrous coming from one of the most outspoken critics on this forum...just sayin. 

Edited by fishndude57
Correct Typo lol.
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I don't know. Depends made my ass look big, not to mention being too hot under my big boy pants. :cool:

 

Edited by tide32
cant spell
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22 minutes ago, tide32 said:

I don't know. Depends made my ass look big, not to mention being too hot under my big boy pants. :cool:

 

Awwwwwww.... I never thought of them making your ass look to big.  I was considering them since I hate panties and rarely wear them, but need to control this constant wetness in my pants.  No way am I making my ass look bigger..... LOL.  Thank you for making me smile, today.

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5 hours ago, gr8owl said:

JProducer: First off welcome to the board. Seems a reasonable request. BUT asking for specific services etc. before even introducing yourself is asking us all to immediately trust someone that no one knows anything about. Especially in current atmosphere that will cause posts like you see. Stay a while, contribute a bit let folks know you are not LE or asshat and a whole lot of folks will try to help. Meantime search ads and reviews and read a lot of threads. It really can be a good place with lots of info and help.

To the board comedians: would it kill you all to recognize that newbies will act like newbies and ask shit they shouldn't and oh, i dunno, try to help them instead of pounding their dick in the dirt? I guess none of you were ever new here. Badgering over typos - really??

Definitely a lot of bullying on this board, but I guess most of these  folks are waaaayyy to smooth to ever make such mistakes.

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No....it's just the initiation we all go through including providers.... I went through it as well:wub:

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1 hour ago, fishndude57 said:

Oh wise one, and I really don't mean that facetiously, you ought to post a newbie 1st post etiquette thread. You're pointing straight at me so I'll tell ya I see a level of disrespect on some 1st posts, and yeah I'm gonna say something. I agree introductions are a nice way to start, not how I did it tho, but I did not demean anybody by any means. Also, I find your post somewhat ludicrous coming from one of the most outspoken critics on this forum...just sayin

No I was not pointing straight at you I was pointing at all of the mini gang that pummeled the guy for a pretty vanilla ISO just because he is unknown.  If and when I point straight at you, it will be clear that I am.  I get it and would urge caution and recommend not to readily give information to any unknown.  And lord knows there have been some real ass hat posts by newbies of late, but it seemed like a feeding frenzy on this guy over basically being new and not knowing any better. But I would appreciate if you explain the part in red.  Yes, I am outspoken and say what is on my mind, but you make it sound as though I jump on people for no reason.  Examples please??  Yes, I climbed on your case one time in response to your "who gives shit" (or words to that effect) post over a benign thread seeking information that I thought may be of general interest.  So, I am all ears as to how and when I was "outspoken" to the degree to make it ludicrous to suggest going easy on a newbie.

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53 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

And lord knows there have been some real ass hat posts by newbies of late... 

Is it just me, or did someone say Ile Haversnatch?

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3 hours ago, gr8owl said:

No I was not pointing straight at you I was pointing at all of the mini gang that pummeled the guy for a pretty vanilla ISO just because he is unknown.  If and when I point straight at you, it will be clear that I am.  I get it and would urge caution and recommend not to readily give information to any unknown.  And lord knows there have been some real ass hat posts by newbies of late, but it seemed like a feeding frenzy on this guy over basically being new and not knowing any better. But I would appreciate if you explain the part in red.  Yes, I am outspoken and say what is on my mind, but you make it sound as though I jump on people for no reason.  Examples please??  Yes, I climbed on your case one time in response to your "who gives shit" (or words to that effect) post over a benign thread seeking information that I thought may be of general interest.  So, I am all ears as to how and when I was "outspoken" to the degree to make it ludicrous to suggest going easy on a newbie.

One thing that I noticed is that there isn't a post on the main forum page under "Please Read Before Posting" that should say "Hey!  You're a newbie guy and have questions.  Read this before you make an ass outta yourself!"  Maybe rephrase it a bit for brevity...

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