Posted February 8, 2017 For a host of reasons, I have chosen to not seek out FS but so many of the most outstanding (and desirable) providers have FS as either an option or the main event. I know that they are happy to accommodate my choice, but what I don't know is how to ask. Given the legal issues, I am totally aware that we shouldn't be discussing specific services, but my concern is that if I wait too long I won't be able to hold to my choice in the heat of the moment. So, it seems that some up front discussion should happen. Any suggestions? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 This is simple...just don't fuck 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 9 minutes ago, Laci French said: This is simple...just don't fuck LOL Kinda cranky this morning are we? -1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 I really wasn't trying to be a smart ass. I was giving solid advice. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 If only it were that simple... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 20 minutes ago, Laci French said: I really wasn't trying to be a smart ass. I was giving solid advice. That's the problem, when I'm solid, it's hard to be smart. :-) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 Why do you want less? That's probably a good place to start... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 4 minutes ago, Laci French said: Why do you want less? That's probably a good place to start... Does he really need to answer this? By reading his post, he's obviously conflicted about his decision to engage in this activity at all. My suggestion would be to simply discuss your comfort level with the provider in person and establish your boundaries while your clothes are still on. Any decisions made during the heat of the moment to the contrary of your moral compass will only cause regret after the session has ended. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 14 minutes ago, MrBigShot said: Does he really need to answer this? By reading his post, he's obviously conflicted about his decision to engage in this activity at all. My suggestion would be to simply discuss your comfort level with the provider in person and establish your boundaries while your clothes are still on. Any decisions made during the heat of the moment to the contrary of your moral compass will only cause regret after the session has ended. Much appreciated. Although trying to write out my reasons was a good exercise to help me understand... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 32 minutes ago, Laci French said: Why do you want less? That's probably a good place to start... Believe me, it's not about what I "want", it's a conscious choice. What I "want" would make for a good porn flick 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 It seems like you have a SELF-CONTROL issue, and you are trying to move it to a COMMUNICATION issue. You do not need to tell the providers that you don't want full service; you need, in the immortal words of Laci French who is my new BFF and who I will be putting on t-shirts, to "not fuck". Not fucking is super easy: don't stick it in. There is little to nothing that anyone here can do to help you with actually accomplishing that goal, although for a modestly larcenous fee I am willing to accompany you to your appointments and hit you over the head if I see you starting to try to stick it in. If you want the young lady to assist you in the deployment of your self control, then *when you arrive* and after you have made your donation, say "I don't want to fuck today, by the way, so if I start to stick it in, please remind me that I don't want to fuck today." I assure you, there will not be any problems resulting from this disclosure. There is no need to have this conversation ahead of time. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 18 minutes ago, MrBigShot said: ... My suggestion would be to simply discuss your comfort level with the provider in person and establish your boundaries while your clothes are still on. Any decisions made during the heat of the moment to the contrary of your moral compass will only cause regret after the session has ended. The problem is that entering this discussion early in the session could lead to new jewelry for one of the participants. Remember all the posts about not mentioning certain acts until everybody is comfortable (which the OP acknowledged). That being said, have the conversation as some as safely possible. Perhaps couched in the negative as, "I'm not interested in full service." w/o mentioning what you do want for example. I can understand the will being weak when the flesh is strong & the regrets this can cause. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 Maybe the best thing is to stay with FBSM ladies only 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 48 minutes ago, TheOlderGentleman said: It seems like you have a SELF-CONTROL issue, and you are trying to move it to a COMMUNICATION issue. You do not need to tell the providers that you don't want full service; you need, in the immortal words of Laci French who is my new BFF and who I will be putting on t-shirts, to "not fuck". Not fucking is super easy: don't stick it in. There is little to nothing that anyone here can do to help you with actually accomplishing that goal, although for a modestly larcenous fee I am willing to accompany you to your appointments and hit you over the head if I see you starting to try to stick it in. If you want the young lady to assist you in the deployment of your self control, then *when you arrive* and after you have made your donation, say "I don't want to fuck today, by the way, so if I start to stick it in, please remind me that I don't want to fuck today." I assure you, there will not be any problems resulting from this disclosure. There is no need to have this conversation ahead of time. Yes! Just yes to all of this and I volunteer my services as a chaperone. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 2 hours ago, CountryGentleman said: For a host of reasons, I have chosen to not seek out FS but so many of the most outstanding (and desirable) providers have FS as either an option or the main event. I know that they are happy to accommodate my choice, but what I don't know is how to ask. Given the legal issues, I am totally aware that we shouldn't be discussing specific services, but my concern is that if I wait too long I won't be able to hold to my choice in the heat of the moment. So, it seems that some up front discussion should happen. Any suggestions? Ask the providers you have spent time with in the past to communicate you do not want full service. Everyone knows up front and that removes the uncomfortable convo. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 I'm curious what the OP's definition of "less" is. Curiosity aside, one can be clever. For example, I have zero interest in FS...being a dyed in the wool untranslated 69 guy. Now...I would not consider that "less" and certainly might have problems conveying that as a "request". For starters, when reading reviews, it quickly eliminates certain ladies who don't DATY or who are TF. If they offer what I like, I know I will be good to go. I could mention this post even, and they would know. Another option might be to convey "that you used to have a wonderful GF or wife who would engage in flying trapeze sex, but alas, you split up. Now...you must replace that part of your life. But enough about me....tell me...do you think we would get along?' That might scare some gals off...but not all. Finally, if you see from reviews and initial contact a likely prospective match...book her. Maybe even just a half hour if you are unsure. Once the activities have concluded, you will easily be able to ask about "next time". 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 Now i have officially heard it all. As far as discussions and legal issues even if the chief of police and da are both present in the room saying "i do NOT want to fuck" is not illegal!!!!! I suppose OP could book with DenverLadies and not have sweat it lol 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 Do your research on the ladies and meet whoever you are most comfortable with. Everyone is different with different needs...this really is not a cookie cutter move through the motions type of situation where you have any reason to feel concerned or self conscious about not wanting to do certain things. It really is as simple as...just dont do whatever you dont want to do. I always let my date take the lead on where things will go...some guys want nothing more than to just have a glass of wine and spend the whole time talking and just enjoying each others company. Whatever we do isnt anything that needs to be throughly discussed and planned out and worked on...social cues is a marvelous thing and works wonderfully! The goal, no matter what does or does not take place, is that everyone is happy and enjoys the experience of the time spent together. So yeah, no stressing allowed...!!! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 Hey OP, you are deluded if you think the ladies are just dying to jump your reticent bone - if you just want a hand job or BJ or whatever else, just say it! Hell, they won't mind, and most of them like to give the little kitten a bit of rest anyway. Every guy has his preference, and they are very used to that. Heck, some guys can't get it up and just go to kiss and cuddle - I don't think the gals mind that either. My guess is the real issue is that you are scared to death of picking up an STD, so if that is the case, just let them know that you want a massage with a happy ending, or whatever else it is that you need to float your boat. You will be amazed at how well that proposal goes over. Now the final issue is this: If you book with a FS provider, the payment is for time and companionship, so don't expect a discount if you don't want to explore the entire menu. Asking for a discount just because you don't want FS is a great way to get a bad reputation. Other than that, party on reticent dude. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Bit Banger said: The problem is that entering this discussion early in the session could lead to new jewelry for one of the participants. Remember all the posts about not mentioning certain acts until everybody is comfortable (which the OP acknowledged). That being said, have the conversation as some as safely possible. Perhaps couched in the negative as, "I'm not interested in full service." w/o mentioning what you do want for example. I can understand the will being weak when the flesh is strong & the regrets this can cause. All I'm saying is after you've already established both participants are legit (and not LE) simply saying "Just so we're clear, I'm not interested in Full Service". Neither has discussed services of any kind and the provider knows the client's boundaries. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 5 hours ago, CountryGentleman said: For a host of reasons, I have chosen to not seek out FS but so many of the most outstanding (and desirable) providers have FS as either an option or the main event. I know that they are happy to accommodate my choice, but what I don't know is how to ask. Given the legal issues, I am totally aware that we shouldn't be discussing specific services, but my concern is that if I wait too long I won't be able to hold to my choice in the heat of the moment. So, it seems that some up front discussion should happen. Any suggestions? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Badboy said: Hey OP, you are deluded if you think the ladies are just dying to jump your reticent bone - if you just want a hand job or BJ or whatever else, just say it! Hell, they won't mind, and most of them like to give the little kitten a bit of rest anyway. Every guy has his preference, and they are very used to that. Heck, some guys can't get it up and just go to kiss and cuddle - I don't think the gals mind that either. My guess is the real issue is that you are scared to death of picking up an STD, so if that is the case, just let them know that you want a massage with a happy ending, or whatever else it is that you need to float your boat. You will be amazed at how well that proposal goes over. Now the final issue is this: If you book with a FS provider, the payment is for time and companionship, so don't expect a discount if you don't want to explore the entire menu. Asking for a discount just because you don't want FS is a great way to get a bad reputation. Other than that, party on reticent dude. Wow. None of those things even entered my mind until you brought them up. But thanks for assuming you know what I'm thinking... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2017 21 hours ago, Badboy said: just let them know that you want a massage with a happy ending, or whatever else it is that you need to float your boat. You will be amazed at how well that proposal goes over. If you book with a FS provider, the payment is for time and companionship, so don't expect a discount if you don't want to explore the entire menu. Asking for a discount just because you don't want FS is a great way to get a bad reputation. Exactly. You're paying for her time, not services, so don't expect a discount. I've gone this route in the past, telling the provider that I don't fuck and briefly explaining that I like just about everything else. I was fooling myself, but it made me feel better at the time. They were always receptive to it. I only had one woman ask me why, but she was pretty new to the business. This basically comes down to the same answer we always give. Treat her with respect and you will most likely have a great time no matter what you're into. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2017 On 2/8/2017 at 10:53 AM, CountryGentleman said: For a host of reasons, I have chosen to not seek out FS but so many of the most outstanding (and desirable) providers have FS as either an option or the main event. I know that they are happy to accommodate my choice, but what I don't know is how to ask. Given the legal issues, I am totally aware that we shouldn't be discussing specific services, but my concern is that if I wait too long I won't be able to hold to my choice in the heat of the moment. So, it seems that some up front discussion should happen. Any suggestions? Not to be harsh, but this is an odd post. It sounds like you want the FS provider to assume responsibility for your behavior. "Stop me if I go to stick it in, no matter how much I plead" If I were a provider, I wouldn't want the job. My suggestion is that until you have your head straight about what you're doing here and why, you stick to ladies who manage their own boundaries better than you seem confident about managing yours. That is, continue to only see those who do not offer FS. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2017 4 minutes ago, daaacz said: Exactly. You're paying for her time, not services, so don't expect a discount. I've gone this route in the past, telling the provider that I don't fuck and briefly explaining that I like just about everything else. I was fooling myself, but it made me feel better at the time. They were always receptive to it. I only had one woman ask me why, but she was pretty new to the business. This basically comes down to the same answer we always give. Treat her with respect and you will most likely have a great time no matter what you're into. ^^THIS^^ Well said, Sir 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2017 I don't see how some can make the leap that I was asking for a discount or expecting her to manage my behavior.... I was merely asking for advice on how to broach the subject during the introductory part of the meeting. I appreciate the excellent advice from you who are more experienced! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2017 The chaperone has your back 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 9, 2017 10 minutes ago, Laci French said: The chaperone has your back Mini Tanks! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 10, 2017 there are times for any number of reasons when I don't want the "full service" when I am meeting with a full service lady. I may have chosen her over a fbsm provider just because I wanted to, I have never mentioned that but I just enjoy the other things to the point of the happy ending time. Most ladies will let you direct the meeting. I then just say I would rather do this now and I have never had anyone say no. Never had to say I don't want full service. I am sure that almost all the ladies would not mind in the least. Just do what you feel comfortable with but I would not start the introduction that way. Seems weird to start off that way with someone you are having your first meeting with. If it is someone you have seen before than it would not be a problem to say it at any time but you should not have to say it at all. Just my 2 cents worth. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
