Womanlover-3464

Going Silent- What happened to honest communication?

20 posts in this topic

This topic is directed at you providers...OK I was forced back into the market after years of a regular arrangement. Now I find a host of providers that are ncns. If your circumstance or mood changes, why can't you just send a simple text or email that says "I can't see you, don't contact me again." Why have us travel to you just to have you go "Silent?" You don't like a ncns, so why do it to us? Men are used to rejection and we've learned to cope. Just be honest with us. What is wrong with basic communication and honesty?

Not all of you. I once had a provider promise she wouldn't go silent on me and she didn't.

OK, I've vented....🖖🏼

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I agree with Laci.  A frustrating situation for you (it has happened to almost all of us). Just keep on trying and it will work out!

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I have 5 clients that I have gone silent with, and here is why; I told them more than once not to break my rules that I clearly stated, and they did. I told them they weren't welcome back to my place, and they still keep calling so I quit answering. I am just throwing this out there in case this might be a scenario that you got yourself caught in. Some guys don't know how to take "No!" for an answer. 

If this is not the case, and they are just wasting your time then shame on them, and write a review!

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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OK - different perspective:  I have made around 300 dates over the past seven sporting years, not with 300 different ladies, but with quite a variety of ladies, maybe 50-75 (I do wish I had kept track, but I don't).  Out of all that time, I have only had three dates "go silent" on me, meaning I went to the parking lot and waited for the promised text or call and nothing happened, and they wouldn't respond to prompting.  That is about a 1% failure rate.  Now, I will admit that some additional  (maybe 6-7) ladies have cancelled for various good reasons with at least a few hours notice, which is OK, I have always been able to find a short-notice replacement off of TOB or P411.

So, when I read you guys complain about getting stood up time after time after time, I have to think to myself: "He must be doing something wrong."

I am not going into yet another coaching session, God knows we have had sufficient threads about how to communicate without annoying the ladies, but if you keep getting stood up a lot, there are two potential problems:

1.  You are cheap and going after the bottom of the barrel providers, and so what do you expect?  Are you calling highly reviewed ladies, with absolutely no reviews that indicate that they have done a NCNS?

2.  You are pursuing perfectly fine ladies, but your technique is way off, and is somehow leading to NCNS.

Both are within your control.

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Sometimes guys message me after we've already scheduled the appointment and say things that suddenly throw up red flags so could be that? When you reject a potential client for whatever reason I've heard just not responding anymore is a good idea so they don't know they've been officially rejected to reduce the chance of them getting a new number and trying to get past screening again wasting more of your time.

and if it makes you feel any better, we get flaked on sometimes too :\

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I went back 13 pages and only saw 2 no shows. People need to grow a pair and write reviews or stop whining. If it hadn't happened to me a few times I'd wonder if it were actually happening at all.

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Ahhh The Silent Treatment 

Hate, hate, hate it

Only happened a few times, More over it reminds me not to pull that and to appreciate the quality people out there. 

Sorry some think this has to happen or that they somehow have the secret/magic touch to avoiding it. 

Rule should be respect gets respect. Stippernomics and jerkonomics get in the way. Don't give in and commit to a better next time🗿

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10% of the time, there's something going on with the young lady and - maybe for good reason, maybe for bad - she is or feels unable to communicate and so she doesn't. The ladies get overwhelmed with communication requests sometimes. People who have booked *should* be exempt from texting fatigue...but shit does happen.

90% of the time, you did something creepy or stupid and the lady decided you were a risk - that you were LE, a bad guy, or something else - and so she blocked your number and moved on. Here's a few things that ladies have told me creep them out, and I imagine the ladies here can add quite a few if they feel like coaching:

* kept asking sexually-themed questions or making sexually-themed comments after (or before) booking the appointment..."can I X?" "do you X?" "I'm gonna X you so hard/good/long" etc. 

* asked inappropriate questions, or questions that would be appropriate at one point in the conversation but not others. (One lady showed me a special text that she had saved as a prize example of Not Getting It 101: in full it was "saw ur ad ur hot lets fuk send me ur address bitch". What a classy guy!)

* asked for discounts or special treatment, without having even shown up for the first appointment yet...or attempting to renegotiate an already-established gift after agreeing to an appointment.

* tried to negotiate around clearly-stated rules or boundaries, especially with totally unsubstantiated and/or groundless crap. "I know you said nothing unprotected, but I'm clean and really good looking so it would be OK for me to....right?"

* continued to text or call "conversationally" after making the appointment. Once you've booked the appointment, shut the hell up. She doesn't want to hear that you're super excited, or that you can't believe it's just six more hours, or that you got off work, or that you're having a rough day. She has a life. She has other people to talk to, or things to do, or maybe she's even getting ready to see you - texting further with you is not on her agenda. Once you've booked the appointment, the next text, and the only text, you should send is one along the lines of "hey, I am about to leave for your location, see you in 20 minutes!" or "just confirming, it's 4:00 and you said you'd be here at 4:15, are we still on?" etc.

(Note that if you are friends with the lady in question, or she is the one texting YOU conversationally, that may be different...but the fact that you've booked a date doesn't mean that she automatically is yearning to get 30 more text messages from you that day.)

TL;DR: you did something wrong, that's why.

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On 2/6/2017 at 4:27 PM, Badboy said:

OK - different perspective:  I have made around 300 dates over the past seven sporting years, not with 300 different ladies, but with quite a variety of ladies, maybe 50-75 (I do wish I had kept track, but I don't).  Out of all that time, I have only had three dates "go silent" on me, meaning I went to the parking lot and waited for the promised text or call and nothing happened, and they wouldn't respond to prompting.  That is about a 1% failure rate.  Now, I will admit that some additional  (maybe 6-7) ladies have cancelled for various good reasons with at least a few hours notice, which is OK, I have always been able to find a short-notice replacement off of TOB or P411.

So, when I read you guys complain about getting stood up time after time after time, I have to think to myself: "He must be doing something wrong."

I am not going into yet another coaching session, God knows we have had sufficient threads about how to communicate without annoying the ladies, but if you keep getting stood up a lot, there are two potential problems:

1.  You are cheap and going after the bottom of the barrel providers, and so what do you expect?  Are you calling highly reviewed ladies, with absolutely no reviews that indicate that they have done a NCNS?

2.  You are pursuing perfectly fine ladies, but your technique is way off, and is somehow leading to NCNS.

Both are within your control.

I can't write reviews from my cell phone and don't have a computer, I'm sure other men have same problem? 

Why is it every time we have a problem with the ladies you guys come up with some Bullshit saying it probably are fault, we did something wrong? Even these ladies on tob  are flakes, just cause they pay more for advertising doesn't make them any better than the rest.

If you call or text a lady and she don't call or text back is OK but when you set up appointment and get to her place and she goes silent is crap

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14 minutes ago, stevie-2249 said:

I can't write reviews from my cell phone and don't have a computer, I'm sure other men have same problem? 

Why is it every time we have a problem with the ladies you guys come up with some Bullshit saying it probably are fault, we did something wrong? Even these ladies on tob  are flakes, just cause they pay more for advertising doesn't make them any better than the rest.

If you call or text a lady and she don't call or text back is OK but when you set up appointment and get to her place and she goes silent is crap

Why is it every time we have a problem, it's always bitches be crazy? Why is it not possible that some of these guys around here occasionally act like boneheads? This group is so particular about not offending its men and that still isn't enough?

If you can post on TOB from your phone Stevie I am pretty sure you can write a review too.

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I have communication problems from time to time, that normally resolve within a few minutes. I chalk it up to two burner phones in the mix. 

For example, I get text messages out of order, or delayed now and then. But that doesn't explain no communication. 

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Every single business has NCNS issues. Had one in my business just last evening. We are dealing with the most unpredictable creatures on Earth...people. Shit happens as they say. Allow me to share 3 experiences from way back. I booked a lady for an hour once who indeed did a NCNS. Later it came out she had been offered a more lucrative all-day booking and so, took it and shut off her phone.  A couple years later, I booked a lady for the next day who also NCNS. Later it came out that she had died. Shit happens . Finally, there are worse things than a NCNS. I booked a gal once at 7 PM for an 8PM outcall. In this case...NCNS. At 1:00 am I was awakened from my sleep by the girl banging on my door, demanding I open up!! When I told her I was not interested at that point she started loudly demanding her rate and cab fare ! FYI and maybe the Moderators too.....none of the ladies mentioned are anywhere around, so it can't zing anyone.

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4 hours ago, stevie-2249 said:

I can't write reviews from my cell phone and don't have a computer, I'm sure other men have same problem? 

Why is it every time we have a problem with the ladies you guys come up with some Bullshit saying it probably are fault, we did something wrong? Even these ladies on tob  are flakes, just cause they pay more for advertising doesn't make them any better than the rest.

If you call or text a lady and she don't call or text back is OK but when you set up appointment and get to her place and she goes silent is crap

If you are the same whiny, excuse making, nasty little puke when communicating with the ladies that you are in communicating with board, I can see why they go silent on you - something you do or type in makes them feel like they need to go dark.  Like I say, it's your technique, or more precisely in your case, your personality.

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1 hour ago, Badboy said:

If you are the same whiny, excuse making, nasty little puke when communicating with the ladies that you are in communicating with board, I can see why they go silent on you - something you do or type in makes them feel like they need to go dark.  Like I say, it's your technique, or more precisely in your case, your personality.

C'mon...don't sugar coat it like that....tell him what you really think...LOL

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On 2/5/2017 at 7:44 PM, Womanlover-3464 said:

"OK I was forced back into the market after years of a regular arrangement."

^^ This opener says it all. No one "forced' you anywhere, m'dear. Your subsequent posts also suggest a person who has external locus of control (http://bfy.tw/BGj) and struggles to see the common denominator. 

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On 2/20/2017 at 7:21 PM, VeraSweets said:

^^ This opener says it all. No one "forced' you anywhere, m'dear. Your subsequent posts also suggest a person who has external locus of control (http://bfy.tw/BGj) and struggles to see the common denominator. 

LOL! You must be a psychiatrist. Me too. But lmtgfy is not my argument.

You ask a woman if she would like to have dinner with you. She says yes. You show up at her door and doesn't answer. You leave and never get any communication from her why. Is that my problem or hers?

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