cuddlybear99

30min, 1hr, so why is 45min uncommon ??

35 posts in this topic

Okay, reading another thread and this question popped back into my head.  A wouldn't-you-like-to-know in general type of question that's been on my brain for a while -- and I'm not quite sure why I feel like sharing this here -- but I'm curious if anybody out there is a "bird of a feather" on the topic of session length.  I'm interested in client and provider thoughts on this!

I'm a bit older and I find that 30min is too short for a session for a number of reasons that I think are unnecessary to go into, but that 1hr is just a bit too long for a nice lovely stress relief session.  FBSM aside, the sweet spot for me is around 45mins.  Before this goes off track let me throw out my assumptions here to focus this.

From the client perspective...

1) You've met the provider before, initially starting off with a 1hr or longer session, the get-to-know-you phase if you will.  Perhaps more than one session, a few.
2) The provider really "checks all the boxes" w.r.t. what you like and expect.  Rapport is built.

Now, I have no problem with 1hr or longer session for those first time meet ups, I spend that "extra" time (first 15+ mins) chatting in a get-to-know-you fashion (not talking about the weather) which for me is necessary to know what kind of kinship it will be, or could be.  I love that sort of stuff.  For 1hr+ sessions after that, I do the same or just let the body rub go longer.  I have not left early, though contemplated it, as I didn't want to send the wrong message to ladies I really like.

But a lot of the time, in my busy life, I get to the point of just thinking "damn I wonder if she can see me today or tomorrow" and just want to rekindle and refresh that kinship.  And that sort of session is 40-45 mins for me and I'm on my way, refreshed and back to the daily grind.  All in a good way!

Is that so far fetched?  I just don't see 45mins offered very much.

I do have anecdotal data to back up this opinion as well.  I spend a lot of time on biz in the midwest and there is a place there that Shall Not Be Named that operates like a brothel.  I don't know how they stay in business, but they have two offerings, 40min and 1hr.  In talking with the ladies there, most of the regulars that come in take the 40min option.  I thought that was interesting.  I was thinking to myself, that's my sweet spot.  And this place has been in business for a long time, so there's a fair amount of institutional knowledge there (same person operating the place for years and years).  The only other thing I will add is one lady I wanted to do a one hour session with, she asked me what I wanted to do with the extra time.  I said just spend more time talking and she gave me the craziest look I've ever seen!  *shrug*

Edited by cuddlybear99
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Being a downtown provider 45 minute sessions are very common, especially Mon-Fri. On some boards, we choose from a drop down menu and 45 min is not an option, normally. So I advertise the hhr and hr more for consistency but not law. 

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A lot of places don't allow you to put 45 minutes. 

I do them a lot because there are a lot of people just like you.

Just ask.

Xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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I guess you could just ask politely what the donation would be for a 45min appointment. Worst thing that could happen would be getting a "no 45 minutes session" as an answer. But if she doesn't have that option as a default or advertised maybe she can make you a special rate for that amount of time.

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For me, 45 minutes seem like the clock would be watched constantly which takes away from what otherwise might be a very fantastic time.  Granted us gentlemen need to be aware of time.  

I myself prefer a more leisurely encounter where we both enjoy ourselves.

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45 minutes is so awkward, it's another layer of pricing that just further complicates things for everyone. Why not just book an hour and leave when you're ready?

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10 hours ago, ilovewomen said:

For me, 45 minutes seem like the clock would be watched constantly which takes away from what otherwise might be a very fantastic time.  Granted us gentlemen need to be aware of time.  

I myself prefer a more leisurely encounter where we both enjoy ourselves.

That is why the phones have these handy apps with alarms so you can set the proper time, and yes, if you are going to do less than an hour...the time is going to be pretty strict or you will be paying for the hour. Time and companionship, time and companionship...

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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On 1/15/2017 at 8:27 PM, cuddlybear99 said:

I said just spend more time talking and she gave me the craziest look I've ever seen!

^^ I've been there as well. I was recently with a new-to-the-biz provider I found on BP, who did some of the best DFK I've ever had. After I was done at around the 45 minute mark, I suggested we talk for a bit and she looked at me like I asked her to eat hot coals! She was relatively chatty when the session began but after we were done, her spark seemed to go off a cliff. Good thing she's cute... I attributed it to her lack of experience as she had literally begun 3 days prior, which was obvious in more ways than one.

You make a good point about the 45 min thing, although I personally have denounced it. I began hobbying with 30 min sessions and, in hindsight, I feel I could have had way more fun with the 1 hour. Of course, the classic pricing strategy to charge proportionally higher for a 30 min session than 1 hour convinces most to go for the hour, taking the risk that comes with it.

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but perhaps 40 or 45 mins would work in favour of the ladies, giving them extra recovery time or 'turnaround time'.

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On 1/15/2017 at 9:10 PM, Alexa Rayne said:

Being a downtown provider 45 minute sessions are very common, especially Mon-Fri. On some boards, we choose from a drop down menu and 45 min is not an option, normally. So I advertise the hhr and hr more for consistency but not law. 

I guess that explains some of it, but if you're happy to do 45 min on request, then I'll just start asking.

12 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

45 minutes is so awkward, it's another layer of pricing that just further complicates things for everyone. Why not just book an hour and leave when you're ready?

So far that's what I have been doing, booking an hour and using the full hour.  Again, I don't want to jump early and leave a wrong impression if an hour is expected.

13 hours ago, ilovewomen said:

For me, 45 minutes seem like the clock would be watched constantly which takes away from what otherwise might be a very fantastic time.  Granted us gentlemen need to be aware of time.  

I myself prefer a more leisurely encounter where we both enjoy ourselves.

I thought that initially too, but it just didn't happen in reality.  At least that's been my experience.

Thanks for all the replies.  Enlightening.

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39 minutes ago, raul said:

^^ I've been there as well. I was recently with a new-to-the-biz provider I found on BP, who did some of the best DFK I've ever had. After I was done at around the 45 minute mark, I suggested we talk for a bit and she looked at me like I asked her to eat hot coals! She was relatively chatty when the session began but after we were done, her spark seemed to go off a cliff. Good thing she's cute... I attributed it to her lack of experience as she had literally begun 3 days prior, which was obvious in more ways than one.

You make a good point about the 45 min thing, although I personally have denounced it. I began hobbying with 30 min sessions and, in hindsight, I feel I could have had way more fun with the 1 hour. Of course, the classic pricing strategy to charge proportionally higher for a 30 min session than 1 hour convinces most to go for the hour, taking the risk that comes with it.

I had another similar experience... again, at the 45 min mark (done) with a younger (20-something) provider.  Same thing, the spark went away and she said to me "well, you can't sit around here and watch TV!".  LOL

I sure don't get 30 mins, talk about rushed.

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14 hours ago, ilovewomen said:

For me, 45 minutes seem like the clock would be watched constantly which takes away from what otherwise might be a very fantastic time.  Granted us gentlemen need to be aware of time.  

I myself prefer a more leisurely encounter where we both enjoy ourselves.

I too "prefer" a more leisurely encounter where we both enjoy ourselves! Trust me...the more time we can treat each other like royalty...the better!!

 I also wish every gent could visit anytime they wanted without the restrictions of time, money, work, SO, kids, etc.

Unfortunately, this is not the case...there is a supply of downtown gents, who can only visit during their lunch hour, so 45 works in this situation, allowing them time to walk a few blocks to my incall...as most live in other areas and commute via public transportation...I am in a position to accommodate this very simple request, so I do.

As far as clock watching...45 is no different than 30, 60, 90, or any other agreement for "time and companionship".  Although, yes, I would say the gents are more "aware" of the time because they don't want to be late from lunch and have to explain why...or lose their job, and in turn lose their "play" money...lol. 

15 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

45 minutes is so awkward, it's another layer of pricing that just further complicates things for everyone. Why not just book an hour and leave when you're ready?

I think ANY time together can be awkward if that is how you make it feel or it can be the most comfortable and amazing time ever! That is up to us, the provider, to set that tone. 

For me...I appreciate the simple fact, that he chose me, to spend whatever amount of time his day allowed. In turn, I will make sure our time is not rushed, it may go by quickly, but that is out of my control...I'm powerful, but not that powerful. Lol. 

No, offering other layers in your business does not complicate it for everyone, unless you, the business owner, makes it complicated. Time...is no different than offering other layers to your business to accommodate the needs/wishes of your clients..duos, couples, social dates, etc. 

Why not just book for an hour and leave when ready? Because they don't have an hour to spend. So I'm not going to make them pay for time they are unable to receive..that would be ripping them off and becoming that "Low Hanging Fruit" we have been talking about...correct?

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4 hours ago, Alexa Rayne said:

 

I too "prefer" a more leisurely encounter where we both enjoy ourselves! Trust me...the more time we can treat each other like royalty...the better!!

 I also wish every gent could visit anytime they wanted without the restrictions of time, money, work, SO, kids, etc.

Unfortunately, this is not the case...there is a supply of downtown gents, who can only visit during their lunch hour, so 45 works in this situation, allowing them time to walk a few blocks to my incall...as most live in other areas and commute via public transportation...I am in a position to accommodate this very simple request, so I do.

As far as clock watching...45 is no different than 30, 60, 90, or any other agreement for "time and companionship".  Although, yes, I would say the gents are more "aware" of the time because they don't want to be late from lunch and have to explain why...or lose their job, and in turn lose their "play" money...lol. 

I think ANY time together can be awkward if that is how you make it feel or it can be the most comfortable and amazing time ever! That is up to us, the provider, to set that tone. 

For me...I appreciate the simple fact, that he chose me, to spend whatever amount of time his day allowed. In turn, I will make sure our time is not rushed, it may go by quickly, but that is out of my control...I'm powerful, but not that powerful. Lol. 

No, offering other layers in your business does not complicate it for everyone, unless you, the business owner, makes it complicated. Time...is no different than offering other layers to your business to accommodate the needs/wishes of your clients..duos, couples, social dates, etc. 

Why not just book for an hour and leave when ready? Because they don't have an hour to spend. So I'm not going to make them pay for time they are unable to receive..that would be ripping them off and becoming that "Low Hanging Fruit" we have been talking about...correct?

45 minutes is different from the 30, 60 or 90 minutes because it's an odd time. 45 minutes sessions are taken advantage of because it's really easy for that 45 min session to go over and quickly become an hour session. Someone books 45 and stays and extra ten which is known to happen and all of a sudden you have an hour long visit.

If someone doesn't offer 45 min sessions which the majority really don't, you can ask for it or you can book an hour and use the time that you want. BTW this "low hanging fruit" everyone keeps talking about loves 45 min sessions.

Lots of ladies don't offer 15 minutes and when asked say book 30. Is that wrong? I don't think so. We get to set our terms and if 45 minutes isn't something you offer and dude really wants to see you then he should happily book an hour and leave when he wants.  And honestly if someone offers both half hours and full hours how what do you charge someone for 45 min? What is the savings? My most respectful gentlemen all book an hour even if they don't  it need because as much as I appreciate them they appreciate me too.

You can also include times and rates in the text of your ad on TOB so if ladies really did want to offer 45 mins they could. But I don't see too many doing it. Unless you have a rate for every time structure or charge by the minute it's not ripping anyone off to make them book in the increments of time that you offer.

I am sure you wouldn't take a rate adjusted client for a ten minute session, would you? Even if you appreciated that he chose you? Why is 45 minutes any different? Half hours were created for the guys who don't need and don't want to pay for the full hour. 45 minutes are pushed by the guys who really want hours but don't want to pay for them. Kudos to the guys who don't take advantage but those oddball sessions are asked for because they are easy to manipulate.

If you don't want the low hanging fruit don't give them chances to negotiate.

 

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I'm with Lucy on this one (😳)

Book the full hour and use what you want. 45min too easily slides into an hour. Besides, the marginal savings is not likely to be much. 

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50 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

45 minutes is different from the 30, 60 or 90 minutes because it's an odd time. 45 minutes sessions are taken advantage of because it's really easy for that 45 min session to go over and quickly become an hour session. Someone books 45 and stays and extra ten which is known to happen and all of a sudden you have an hour long visit.

If someone doesn't offer 45 min sessions which the majority really don't, you can ask for it or you can book an hour and use the time that you want. BTW this "low hanging fruit" everyone keeps talking about loves 45 min sessions.

Lots of ladies don't offer 15 minutes and when asked say book 30. Is that wrong? I don't think so. We get to set our terms and if 45 minutes isn't something you offer and dude really wants to see you then he should happily book an hour and leave when he wants.  And honestly if someone offers both half hours and full hours how what do you charge someone for 45 min? What is the savings? My most respectful gentlemen all book an hour even if they don't  it need because as much as I appreciate them they appreciate me too.

You can also include times and rates in the text of your ad on TOB so if ladies really did want to offer 45 mins they could. But I don't see too many doing it. Unless you have a rate for every time structure or charge by the minute it's not ripping anyone off to make them book in the increments of time that you offer.

I am sure you wouldn't take a rate adjusted client for a ten minute session, would you? Even if you appreciated that he chose you? Why is 45 minutes any different? Half hours were created for the guys who don't need and don't want to pay for the full hour. 45 minutes are pushed by the guys who really want hours but don't want to pay for them. Kudos to the guys who don't take advantage but those oddball sessions are asked for because they are easy to manipulate.

If you don't want the low hanging fruit don't give them chances to negotiate.

 

There are men that try to take advantage of the 30 minute too. I even know guys that take advantage of the hour. You set the time, and then you make sure to follow through. If he doesn't comply or is annoyed then you know exactly where you put him, and don't see him again. This isn't rocket science, this is "time and companionship". He doesn't follow the rules, he isn't allowed back. If you allow him back, that is all on you!

To me, a clockwatcher is someone who watches the clock. If guys call a girl a clockwatcher because he was out the door at 30 minutes when she wasn't looking at the clock, I consider him rude for assuming she was going to allow him more time when he only paid for that set amount. We are running a business here, and even though it is a fun one...it is still a business. You wouldn't waste your doctor's time all day when you know he has other patients to attend to so why waste ours?

I think every lady draws the line for what works for them. I know ladies that only do hour or more, I know ladies that love QV. It all comes down to the variety and spice that we provide.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

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Pay for the hour, then let the provider know you might need leave before the hour is up due your busy schedule. :-)

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On more then one occasion I've asked ladies if they could give me a rate for 45 minutes.  Each time they were OK with that and thinks worked out fine. 

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7 hours ago, SultryKitten said:

There are men that try to take advantage of the 30 minute too. I even know guys that take advantage of the hour. You set the time, and then you make sure to follow through. If he doesn't comply or is annoyed then you know exactly where you put him, and don't see him again. This isn't rocket science, this is "time and companionship". He doesn't follow the rules, he isn't allowed back. If you allow him back, that is all on you!

To me, a clockwatcher is someone who watches the clock. If guys call a girl a clockwatcher because he was out the door at 30 minutes when she wasn't looking at the clock, I consider him rude for assuming she was going to allow him more time when he only paid for that set amount. We are running a business here, and even though it is a fun one...it is still a business. You wouldn't waste your doctor's time all day when you know he has other patients to attend to so why waste ours?

I think every lady draws the line for what works for them. I know ladies that only do hour or more, I know ladies that love QV. It all comes down to the variety and spice that we provide.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

And my point is why not just avoid getting taken advantage of from the beginning? Like you said it's not rocket science. Reduce the chances of being taken advantage of by not offering odd timed sessions. Sure people try and take advantage but far more try and take advantage of the 45 and 15 min sessions.

Variety and spice and personal choice is great. So why am I not entitled to my opinion? I think 45 minute sessions are manipulative, so I offered my advice based on that. If you don't think they're manipulative that's your perspective. But allow me mine. I wasn't talking about clock watchers or guys breaking rules.

You wouldn't pay your doctor less because you only want part of a physical right? This is a business and precisely why I suggested the OP book an hour and leave when he wants. Most ladies don't advertise a 45 minute rate and the respectful thing for a client to do in that situation is book an hour. Respect sex workers by respecting their advertising and rate structures. I don't see why that's so disagreeable.

 

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This is a weird world where all you providers are a community (at least it seems) from a personal perspective, but you are also each other's competition from a business perspective. 

Then there's our side of things where we genuinely like you providers, but there is also an element of getting the most for our dollar. 

So when cuddlybear tosses out a suggestion like that, you really have two choices; offer it, or don't. You have to approach it as a business decision to see if it makes sense for you. But, keep in mind that someone may read this and decide to offer it up. If that's the case, then the competition gets a little more attractive to cuddlybear's dollars. 

From a business perspective, listening to the demand for services that's out there and adjusting your business model accordingly is not a bad thing.  

Edited by decafnaetd
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3 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

And my point is why not just avoid getting taken advantage of from the beginning? Like you said it's not rocket science. Reduce the chances of being taken advantage of by not offering odd timed sessions. Sure people try and take advantage but far more try and take advantage of the 45 and 15 min sessions.

Variety and spice and personal choice is great. So why am I not entitled to my opinion? I think 45 minute sessions are manipulative, so I offered my advice based on that. If you don't think they're manipulative that's your perspective. But allow me mine. I wasn't talking about clock watchers or guys breaking rules.

You wouldn't pay your doctor less because you only want part of a physical right? This is a business and precisely why I suggested the OP book an hour and leave when he wants. Most ladies don't advertise a 45 minute rate and the respectful thing for a client to do in that situation is book an hour. Respect sex workers by respecting their advertising and rate structures. I don't see why that's so disagreeable.

 

How about billing in tenths of an hour?

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17 minutes ago, Citori said:

I need a 22 min option

 

110 @ 300 per hour. I read an article the other day. The twelve sex mistakes you make and I said damn that's like 3 a minute. 😊

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21 minutes ago, Citori said:

I need a 22 min option

 

What really sucks is when you have to write off 20%. 

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59 minutes ago, decafnaetd said:

This is a weird world where all you providers are a community (at least it seems) from a personal perspective, but you are also each other's competition from a business perspective. 

Then there's our side of things where we genuinely like you providers, but there is also an element of getting the most for our dollar. 

So when cuddlybear tosses out a suggestion like that, you really have two choices; offer it, or don't. You have to approach it as a business decision to see if it makes sense for you. But, keep in mind that someone may read this and decide to offer it up. If that's the case, then the competition gets a little more attractive to cuddlybear's dollars. 

From a business perspective, listening to the demand for services that's out there and adjusting your business model accordingly is not a bad thing.  

Having actually done some of this in the real world for some major corporations, I like the way you think. However, you're overlooking a major point - this is a business that's ruled by the heart and not the head. Ok, maybe little head but you get what I mean.

People want Rolexes and BMWs but we can't go around asking them to make them more reasonably priced. People who can buy them will buy them and its tough luck for the rest.

The ladies have what we need. The ones who control the supply are in command and demand will always be there. Call it a corporation or cartel, that's the truth. There will always be niche players and niche suppliers will cater to them. Otherwise, the majority wins. From what I've read here, most ladies seem to know their s**t and I would hope they don't overthink their rates.

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26 minutes ago, raul said:

Having actually done some of this in the real world for some major corporations, I like the way you think. However, you're overlooking a major point - this is a business that's ruled by the heart and not the head. Ok, maybe little head but you get what I mean.

People want Rolexes and BMWs but we can't go around asking them to make them more reasonably priced. People who can buy them will buy them and its tough luck for the rest.

The ladies have what we need. The ones who control the supply are in command and demand will always be there. Call it a corporation or cartel, that's the truth. There will always be niche players and niche suppliers will cater to them. Otherwise, the majority wins. From what I've read here, most ladies seem to know their s**t and I would hope they don't overthink their rates.

Valid point

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19 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

And my point is why not just avoid getting taken advantage of from the beginning? Like you said it's not rocket science. Reduce the chances of being taken advantage of by not offering odd timed sessions. Sure people try and take advantage but far more try and take advantage of the 45 and 15 min sessions.

Variety and spice and personal choice is great. So why am I not entitled to my opinion? I think 45 minute sessions are manipulative, so I offered my advice based on that. If you don't think they're manipulative that's your perspective. But allow me mine. I wasn't talking about clock watchers or guys breaking rules.

You wouldn't pay your doctor less because you only want part of a physical right? This is a business and precisely why I suggested the OP book an hour and leave when he wants. Most ladies don't advertise a 45 minute rate and the respectful thing for a client to do in that situation is book an hour. Respect sex workers by respecting their advertising and rate structures. I don't see why that's so disagreeable.

 

You are right, it is your opinion and your right to make an opinion about it, but what bothers me by your opinion is that you are telling other ladies that would be more than happy to take that offer that it is manipulative, and bad to do. Maybe it is bad for you because you only do an hour or more and that makes you more comfortable. For me, I love it because I have the freedom to cater to that time with what I do, and it works for the client that only has that time available, or that is the perfect time for them. That is okay, but don't be telling other ladies it is a bad idea because it doesn't coincide with how you run your business. I understand it allows the clients to call you about that offer, and that is frustrating when they want something you don't advertise, but I have clients ask me questions I don't agree with too.

There is no right or wrong answer to this...clients just need to find the provider that will work with their needs.

I don't feel it is fair to make a guy pay an hour when they know they will not be staying for an hour. To me, it feels like I am taking advantage just to get more money. I don't like that feeling, and yes, I know this is a luxury, but I know guys that simply can't afford the hour rate no matter how much they try and are great clients even though their bank account holds less.

I do tend to agree with you on most advice, but this one I had to disagree as I felt it only gave one viewpoint due to different aspects everyone has on it.

Xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

Edited by SultryKitten
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I have recently become an aficionado of the 90-minute appointment, usually with my ATATF, but sometimes with others.  I like it because it just seems so much more natural and sexy - some time to flirt, some time for caresses and body-worship, time for plenty of foreplay, and lots of time for the main events, with plenty of time for cuddles and recovery, and even time for MSOGs.  Give it a shot - it makes it nearly impossible to go back to shorter encounters (although sometimes that is all you have time for, and they are still OK).

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Big fan of the 45 minute time length. I even started a thread advocating for them last year (and got clowned on by the usual board bullies/alpha males...although I appreciate the few like Melissa Sterling and Bora I think that got what I was asking). I'm a 1 shot guy, I don't ever NEED a full hour. Especially for first meetings, where I have to determine if she's physically what I'm looking for, and figure out her personality and if we "click." If it's all good and I genuinely enjoy getting to know her and spending time with her and it seems reciprocal, I can do hour sessions later. But for the first meeting I'll do 45 minutes if it's offered. If it's not offered, I'll do 30 minutes instead. If neither 45 or 30 are offered, there probably won't be a first meeting.
 
I don't see any rational reason why 45 minute sessions are any more subject to staying over the limit than other time allotments. Guys who book 30 will try to stay for 40 minutes, guys who book an hour are gonna try to stay for 70 minutes. The type of clients who try to stay long are gonna do that no matter what time measurement they book, and the good clients are gonna try to stay only for what they paid for no matter how long they booked.
 
I also think some of the staying over problem is just ignorance of exactly what time it is, and not actively trying to take advantage and get more than they paid for. But that's drifting into a different discussion, maybe I'll start a new topic for that.
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