Audrey Astor

Can we visit....

29 posts in this topic

I love this and really hope it can be done asap. 

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As a non-provider, I agree that a separate and safe space would have great value. There are conversations that can't happen openly with us clients watching and over-analyzing everything.

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Just now, daaacz said:

As a non-provider, I agree that a separate and safe space would have great value. There are conversations that can't happen openly with us clients watching and over-analyzing everything.

^^THIS^^

I hope there's enough interest to make this happen for the Ladies. It seems more like a necessity than a luxury at this point.

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7 minutes ago, MrBigShot said:

 It seems more like a necessity than a luxury at this point.

...especially with the new group of customers flowing in.

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A huge yes!!!! I have tons to contribute 

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Let me add my +1 to this thread.  The ladies need a place to communicate with each other to vent, laugh, and talk separate from the rest of the community.

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I understand the reasons for a ladies-only forum and could not agree more. It would add great value to this board.  I do see one possible down site to it.  The majority of posts on this board are make by men, although the posts made by the ladies add tremendous value to the discussions.   I'd be afraid that the ladies would spend more of their time in the ladies-only board and the quality of discourse in the other boards would go down.  I would hate this to devolve into and men's board and a ladies with not as mush crossover and we would all like. I support the idea of a ladies-only board, but do see this as one possible negative. 

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2 minutes ago, Mustang87 said:

I understand the reasons for a ladies-only forum and could not agree more. It would add great value to this board.  I do see one possible down site to it.  The majority of posts on this board are make by men, although the posts made by the ladies add tremendous value to the discussions.   I'd be afraid that the ladies would spend more of their time in the ladies-only board and the quality of discourse in the other boards would go down.  I would hate this to devolve into and men's board and a ladies with not as mush crossover and we would all like. I support the idea of a ladies-only board, but do see this as one possible negative. 

This! 

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5 minutes ago, Mustang87 said:

I understand the reasons for a ladies-only forum and could not agree more. It would add great value to this board.  I do see one possible down site to it.  The majority of posts on this board are make by men, although the posts made by the ladies add tremendous value to the discussions.   I'd be afraid that the ladies would spend more of their time in the ladies-only board and the quality of discourse in the other boards would go down.  I would hate this to devolve into and men's board and a ladies with not as mush crossover and we would all like. I support the idea of a ladies-only board, but do see this as one possible negative. 

We had a women's only forum before the change. All providers still participated on the main board. But when it came to "provider only" information, it was nice to have a safer place to share. For the most part, the women's only side wasn't incredibly busy, but incredibly pertinent.

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Agreed Audrey. VH is good for this for now but it would be nice to have something more localized.

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For the sole purpose of joining this proposed forum, I choose to be a female.

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I stumbled upon the Providers Only section once on TOB when a mod forgot to lock the gate. It was an interesting read. I lost respect  for some providers after they said one thing in the public forum but expressed scorn in private.

Yes, I know Lucy,  it was not intended for my viewing but the link was open to anyone to click on. 

Be careful what you ask for. It may have unintended consequences.

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On 1/13/2017 at 8:46 AM, Audrey Astor said:

Can we visit having a ladies only forum again? I think the last time that we talked about it, it was a budget issue. I could be wrong. I would recommend managing membership and access much the same way other sites do. Right now with the recent uproar, I think there is a lot of information that should be shared among the ladies only as opposed to an open forum. 

For myself, if I feel like if I have some information that would be helpful or keep someone safe, I would rather share it equally with all of the ladies as opposed to just the few that I like or communicate with. Safety matters are for ALL of the ladies in my opinion. I'm sure there are others that feel the same way. 

If it's a budget issue, I would be willing to pay a bit more in my ad options, or a membership fee. 

What do y'all think?

I agree... it should be available to provider's securely..... we need to protect ourselves 👄👄👄

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Still remember the time I logged in and thought there was a new section to tob, really did not read the title of the section. Opened it up and naturally started reading it, it was the provider only forum, for some strange reason there was a glitch and I was able to read it. Got banned from tob, they thought I hacked into it, took alot of convincing that was not the case.

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On 1/13/2017 at 6:54 PM, inkspot said:

I stumbled upon the Providers Only section once on TOB when a mod forgot to lock the gate. It was an interesting read. I lost respect  for some providers after they said one thing in the public forum but expressed scorn in private.

Yes, I know Lucy,  it was not intended for my viewing but the link was open to anyone to click on. 

Be careful what you ask for. It may have unintended consequences.

That's why you don't go where you're not supposed to.  The bathroom door to the men's room is open but I don't go in there because I know better. 

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3 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

That's why you don't go where you're not supposed to.  The bathroom door to the men's room is open but I don't go in there because I know better. 

Genius rears its head - again.

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48 minutes ago, Paul Pudenda said:

Genius rears its head - again.

She is on my ignore list so I don't have to read her bull shit. I sleep better at night.

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On 1/13/2017 at 8:46 AM, Audrey Astor said:

Can we visit having a ladies only forum again? I think the last time that we talked about it, it was a budget issue. I could be wrong. I would recommend managing membership and access much the same way other sites do. Right now with the recent uproar, I think there is a lot of information that should be shared among the ladies only as opposed to an open forum. 

For myself, if I feel like if I have some information that would be helpful or keep someone safe, I would rather share it equally with all of the ladies as opposed to just the few that I like or communicate with. Safety matters are for ALL of the ladies in my opinion. I'm sure there are others that feel the same way. 

If it's a budget issue, I would be willing to pay a bit more in my ad options, or a membership fee. 

What do y'all think?

Sounds on the surface like a great idea - as long as everyone realizes unintended eyes , as noted above will probably see the information.  If it is simply to share alert or warning type info you all would probably be better off with the equivalent of a mailing group or group address either by email, text etc.  But not open other than via private accounts.  Limit inclusion on mailing list to "known ladies" - at least known to each other. Still not foolproof, and someone might have to be a central point/maintain one.  Just thinking and bored.  Ouch my head hurts! 

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15 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

That's why you don't go where you're not supposed to.  The bathroom door to the men's room is open but I don't go in there because I know better. 

I've been to many a concert where 3 ladies will barge into the men's room because the line is to slow at the ladies room.  

:)

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14 hours ago, gr8owl said:

Sounds on the surface like a great idea - as long as everyone realizes unintended eyes , as noted above will probably see the information.  If it is simply to share alert or warning type info you all would probably be better off with the equivalent of a mailing group or group address either by email, text etc.  But not open other than via private accounts.  Limit inclusion on mailing list to "known ladies" - at least known to each other. Still not foolproof, and someone might have to be a central point/maintain one.  Just thinking and bored.  Ouch my head hurts! 

Lack of inclusiveness always ruins spaces like that. Sharing information with "known ladies" becomes really redundant and creates a roadblock for those who aren't known but could really benefit from the information. It's risky to host the provider/client only groups on a websites like this, because quirks happen and take ECCIE for example, who knows who can see what when you have a lot of moderators and admin. It's not truly a provider only space if client admin/mods can see it.

VH isn't just a BL site it's a gathering place, providers only and you have to prove who you are. Maybe a stand alone site similar in nature is what's needed and most preferably one that's local. Every market is different and advice will vary.

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5 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Lack of inclusiveness always ruins spaces like that. Sharing information with "known ladies" becomes really redundant and creates a roadblock for those who aren't known but could really benefit from the information. It's risky to host the provider/client only groups on a websites like this, because quirks happen and take ECCIE for example, who knows who can see what when you have a lot of moderators and admin. It's not truly a provider only space if client admin/mods can see it.

VH isn't just a BL site it's a gathering place, providers only and you have to prove who you are. Maybe a stand alone site similar in nature is what's needed and most preferably one that's local. Every market is different and advice will vary.

I was thinking out loud (always dangerous!) of a way around the pit falls of attaching to a "full service" site that includes clients - and is really more for them.  And trying to think of easy way short of a major undertaking.  What is VH, at risk of stupid question?  A stand alone site is probably the best bet of all, if one of the ladies is willing to host and moderate it.  If it has no advertising you may even skirt the legal issues without being "off shore".  But a lady with energy and time is going to have to take the bull by the horns and do it.

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3 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

I was thinking out loud (always dangerous!) of a way around the pit falls of attaching to a "full service" site that includes clients - and is really more for them.  And trying to think of easy way short of a major undertaking.  What is VH, at risk of stupid question?  A stand alone site is probably the best bet of all, if one of the ladies is willing to host and moderate it.  If it has no advertising you may even skirt the legal issues without being "off shore".  But a lady with energy and time is going to have to take the bull by the horns and do it.

But even then it only takes one lady blabbing to one client or SO and giving him access through her account and the shit storm begins.

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our fine feathered friend makes some good points here. i myself believe the ladies should have a place to exchange info to each other to help keep them safe. the old ToB had such a place and it would be great if the new one could have one too. failing that one of the ladies should set one up. a quick google search of the phrase "free secure hosted bulletin board" leads to a lot of hits, it would just take some time to look thru all of those to find one that meets the needs, such as nothing visible till after login.

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1 minute ago, gr8owl said:

I was thinking out loud (always dangerous!) of a way around the pit falls of attaching to a "full service" site that includes clients - and is really more for them.  And trying to think of easy way short of a major undertaking.  What is VH, at risk of stupid question?  A stand alone site is probably the best bet of all, if one of the ladies is willing to host and moderate it.  If it has no advertising you may even skirt the legal issues without being "off shore".  But a lady with energy and time is going to have to take the bull by the horns and do it.

The dreaded Verify Him. Thinking out loud is good and thinking about the pros and cons only helps establish a better idea of what's needed and would be useful. A provider run, provider only space has long been needed.

 

2 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

But even then it only takes one lady blabbing to one client or SO and giving him access through her account and the shit storm begins.

People don't view that as a bad thing if it helps them personally. Forcing users to use their provider name drastically limits the word vomit and chances of leaking because it becomes much easier to identify the source. Really more than anything we need a space where we can "fart" and no one can smell it. Talk about business and ask advice without interference

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On January 13, 2017 at 8:46 AM, Audrey Astor said:

Can we visit having a ladies only forum again? I think the last time that we talked about it, it was a budget issue. I could be wrong. I would recommend managing membership and access much the same way other sites do. Right now with the recent uproar, I think there is a lot of information that should be shared among the ladies only as opposed to an open forum. 

For myself, if I feel like if I have some information that would be helpful or keep someone safe, I would rather share it equally with all of the ladies as opposed to just the few that I like or communicate with. Safety matters are for ALL of the ladies in my opinion. I'm sure there are others that feel the same way. 

If it's a budget issue, I would be willing to pay a bit more in my ad options, or a membership fee. 

What do y'all think?

I am glad this subject came up. I have been seeing a gem of a lady that is some what new to the business and had been advertising on BP. Some time back we meet and she was in tears because she has been getting harassed and stalked. I didn't really know how to help her. I know you ladies have you methods of screening and tips for safety I can not provide. So, I hooked her up with one of the providers from this board to get some advice and instruction as to doing this in a safe manner. While, I have read the concerns and possibilities of what may occur if this were to become a reality; I do hope it may be achievable so others just starting my have a place to learn and be as safe as possible.

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