Submissive vs Passive

[Lucy Kitten]

I see the word submissive pop up in reviews now and then and more often than not it's used out of context. So I thought I would take a minute to point out the difference between passive and submissive. Submissive is a chosen orientation and passive is a natural trait. Unless a provider advertises submission it's just passivity. Submission requires consent and the setting of boundaries and being passive means you should tread carefully to not be manipulative. 

I don't recall the name and it's not important but there was a review a while back of a young lady and the reviewer called her submissive. There was a subsequent review from and angry client because he didn't feel like she was submissive enough. It wasn't something she advertised it was something that someone assume. An understanding of submission could have saved that provider a bad review and prevented a session based on false pretense.

Most importantly of all just remember that submission requires permission.

 

[Kaduk]

59 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

I see the word submissive pop up in reviews now and then and more often than not it's used out of context. So I thought I would take a minute to point out the difference between passive and submissive. Submissive is a chosen orientation and passive is a natural trait. Unless a provider advertises submission it's just passivity. Submission requires consent and the setting of boundaries and being passive means you should tread carefully to not be manipulative. 

I don't recall the name and it's not important but there was a review a while back of a young lady and the reviewer called her submissive. There was a subsequent review from and angry client because he didn't feel like she was submissive enough. It wasn't something she advertised it was something that someone assume. An understanding of submission could have saved that provider a bad review and prevented a session based on false pretense.

Most importantly of all just remember that submission requires permission.

 

Choose your words wisely.

Submissive ------> Synonyms

•  Obedient
•  Passive
•  Compliant
•  Acquiescent
•  Subservient
•  Docile
•  Meek
•  Dutiful
• Tractable
•  Deferential
•  Accommodating

Replacing Submissive with any of its Synonyms would significantly change the intended meaning  of a comment.

[Bit Banger]

11 hours ago, Lustyleah said:

...

Having chatted with several of the ladies I find that passive would be a better choice of wording to use in their menu of service.

...

 

While I agree that 'submissive' is probably the wrong adjective, it implies a relationship dynamic not present in most client/provider situations.  But 'passive' to my creates visions of "Beige, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige." 

 

[Lustyleah]

1 hour ago, Bit Banger said:

While I agree that 'submissive' is probably the wrong adjective, it implies a relationship dynamic not present in most client/provider situations.  But 'passive' to my creates visions of "Beige, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige." 

 

BB I agree that passive does bring visions of "beige" . But in a client provider relationship that is probably the best that can be expected unless there has been a trust established between them over a period of time. The key is ....Trust.... and respect for boundaries this usually is only learn over  time.

[Guest]

When I worked n San Francisco as a pro Dom, there's a clear indication as to which way someone goes. Someone who is submissive lives that way. They have a mentality of I will do whatever I'm told by my mistress or master. If I were to tell a guy to go to work with a butt plug all day, he'd do it. I could never be submissive, not in the true context of the meaning. There is or at least was a club in San Francisco called Bondage a go-go. If you wore a collar, you were saying, I'm a sub. They'd have stages set up and would take people up there for varying degrees of spanking, flogging, and other play within the law. Then there was a second upper deck for observers only. Those who were curious so to speak. 

There's a certain power that comes with these little games. Either having it completely or giving it up completely. There's really no gray area. 

[Bit Banger]

8 hours ago, Lustyleah said:

BB I agree that passive does bring visions of "beige" . But in a client provider relationship that is probably the best that can be expected unless there has been a trust established between them over a period of time. The key is ....Trust.... and respect for boundaries this usually is only learn over  time.

I disagree. I have had many FTF encounters on a first date. My "beige" was intended to imply a lifeless session. 

I do agree that trust & boundaries are essential to any encounter. 

[Lucy Kitten]

11 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

I disagree. I have had many FTF encounters on a first date. My "beige" was intended to imply a lifeless session. 

I do agree that trust & boundaries are essential to any encounter. 

I think maybe she was still referring to submissive sessions. If you perceive passive as lifeless then I think you misunderstand passive and the point I was trying to make. But this is why we choose words wisely and should know their real meanings before we use them.

[Lustyleah]

17 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

I think maybe she was still referring to submissive sessions. If you perceive passive as lifeless then I think you misunderstand passive and the point I was trying to make. But this is why we choose words wisely and should know their real meanings before we use them.

Thank you Lucy BB and I were just on a different track and I agree that a first encounter can be extremely fun but to have someone be fully submissive there has to be trust built over time.

[Guest]

Good points. I like email passive over submissive.