hobbyer

Reason not to repeat

82 posts in this topic

With more than 500 hours of hobby time under my belt, I recommend not to repeat with a provider even if the session is good:

1) even if the session is perfect, there is no guarantee the next one will match the last perfect one.

2) over time, the provider takes you for granted.

3) if the session is bad or the performance/attitude goes downhill, chances are, the performance/attitude will go even further downhill.

4) save your hobby funds for other useful non-hobby purposes

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4 hours ago, hobbyer said:

With more than 500 hours of hobby time under my belt, I recommend not to repeat with a provider even if the session is good:

1) even if the session is perfect, there is no guarantee the next one will match the last perfect one.  What if the first whets your appetite to see her again?

2) over time, the provider takes you for granted. Also could go the other way

3) if the session is bad or the performance/attitude goes downhill, chances are, the performance/attitude will go even further downhill.  You wouldn't see her again if the first session was bad, not mediocre, but bad

4) save your hobby funds for other useful non-hobby purposes

I'm a little confuse, are you saying that you don't care to repeat with certain ladies?  Even if the first session was good?

 

 

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I don't necessarily agree with that assessment. For example: I have been seeing one provider for 5 years now and everytime I see her it's like Christmas morning. Initially meeting a new provider is always a bit awkward but I find that as I build a level of trust and they as well it becomes better. Plus, spending the time with your favorites you began to learn what they like and they in turn know what you like. And to be honest, I have had some mind blowing experiences with my favorites further on down the road then in the initial meeting. So I think you may be missing out on some beautiful opportunities. Take care....

Edited by Running with Scissors
Clarification
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5 hours ago, hobbyer said:

With more than 500 hours of hobby time under my belt, I recommend not to repeat with a provider even if the session is good:

1) even if the session is perfect, there is no guarantee the next one will match the last perfect one.

2) over time, the provider takes you for granted.

3) if the session is bad or the performance/attitude goes downhill, chances are, the performance/attitude will go even further downhill.

4) save your hobby funds for other useful non-hobby purposes

So, your recommendation is to NEVER repeat?  Ever?  

With that philosophy, why should the provider go out of her way to make it enjoyable for you?

Did you have a bad experience recently?  Maybe post about your specific situation & your frustration, the community could give you feedback.  But don't let one bad experience dictate your strategy.

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34 minutes ago, BigBaldBlk said:

I'm a little confuse, are you saying that you don't care to repeat with certain ladies?  Even if the first session was good?

 

 

Yes and no.....I just have bad experience in the past and present. Things just go downhill after a while. You can never recapture the past.

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MAG:

Yes, it's better not to repeat...if you repeat, don't do too much.

Alot of providers just want to make money. There is always a new sucker around the corner (maybe I am one of them). They don't really care once they have your money.

I do have bad experience, both past and present. The past is not worth mentioning. As for the present, unfortunately, I cannot mention it. 

  

 

Edited by hobbyer
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3 minutes ago, hobbyer said:

MAG:

Yes, it's better not to repeat...if you repeat, don't do too much.

Alot of providers just want to make money. There is always a new sucker around the corner (maybe I am one of them). They don't really care once they have your money.

I do have bad experience, both past and present. The past is not worth mentioning. As for the present, unfortunately, I cannot mention it. 

  

 

It's difficult to strike a balance between "business relationship" vs. "personal relationship".  As soon as that line gets blurred, someone's likely to end up disappointed.

There are tons of stories on this board from guys who got too close, or were too eager to please & got taken advantage of, or the ATF got complacent.  Some guys combat this by having more than one ATF.

It's probably best not to starting doing personal favors (including lending money) for a provider.  That blurs the line.

Sorry you've had bad experiences.  Learn from them & adjust your boundaries.

Now go get shit-faced.  :D

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14 minutes ago, MAG said:

Sorry you've had bad experiences.  Learn from them & adjust your boundaries.

Now go get shit-faced.  :D

Thank you, MAG. You are right....but I don't think I'll hobby too much from now on. 500 hours of hobby time is alot of money spent. That is not counting the airfare and hotels for the hobby trips that I took.

 

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13 minutes ago, MAG said:

It's difficult to strike a balance between "business relationship" vs. "personal relationship".  As soon as that line gets blurred, someone's likely to end up disappointed.

There are tons of stories on this board from guys who got too close, or were too eager to please & got taken advantage of, or the ATF got complacent.  Some guys combat this by having more than one ATF.

It's probably best not to starting doing personal favors (including lending money) for a provider.  That blurs the line.

 

This^^^ 

Early on in my hobby habits I had to step back from one ATF because those lines were becoming blurred. Emotions were running deep for me and I knew it would end up being bad. Doesn't mean there was anything wrong with her it just meant I had to re-evaluate my motivations, expectations and find that center. Anytime you add sex into the mix it can easily spiral out of control unless you set clear boundaries for yourself. Good luck brother.

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4 minutes ago, Running with Scissors said:

 Good luck brother.

thanks...looks like you have been there and done that

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1 hour ago, hobbyer said:

MAG:

Yes, it's better not to repeat...if you repeat, don't do too much.

Alot of providers just want to make money. There is always a new sucker around the corner (maybe I am one of them). They don't really care once they have your money.

I do have bad experience, both past and present. The past is not worth mentioning. As for the present, unfortunately, I cannot mention it. 

  

 

I fucking hate generalizations from simple minded twits!

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7 hours ago, hobbyer said:

With more than 500 hours of hobby time under my belt, I recommend not to repeat with a provider even if the session is good:

1) even if the session is perfect, there is no guarantee the next one will match the last perfect one.

2) over time, the provider takes you for granted.

3) if the session is bad or the performance/attitude goes downhill, chances are, the performance/attitude will go even further downhill.

4) save your hobby funds for other useful non-hobby purposes

So by reading your post I take it the 500 hours, means you have seen close to 500 ladies, if that is the case and you do not find one you want to repeat with, you must be doing something wrong in this hobby. To me repeating is the whole idea to the hobby, finding a lady that you actually connect with and she with you.  Your number 3 would be the only one I would agree with you on totally, why would you want to repeat if the session is bad. Sounds like to me you need to save your funds on some other non-hobby purpose, just sayin.  Hobby well and prosper, troller.

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7 hours ago, hobbyer said:

With more than 500 hours of hobby time under my belt, I recommend not to repeat with a provider even if the session is good:

1) even if the session is perfect, there is no guarantee the next one will match the last perfect one.

2) over time, the provider takes you for granted.

3) if the session is bad or the performance/attitude goes downhill, chances are, the performance/attitude will go even further downhill.

4) save your hobby funds for other useful non-hobby purposes

I think that maybe you aren't suited for the hobby if you actually believe what you wrote.

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58 minutes ago, Laci French-2940 said:

I fucking hate generalizations from simple minded twits!

Nice of you to show some compassion.  :cool:

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Just now, MAG said:

Nice of you to show some compassion.  :cool:

Like to be helpful:D

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3 minutes ago, Laci French-2940 said:

Like to be helpful:D

Maybe your signature should be "Fill your life with sarcasm and your heart with disdain".

The guy is obviously going through a rough time and came here for support & maybe some advice.

Sheesh.

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27 minutes ago, MAG said:

Nice of you to show some compassion.  :cool:

She is one of the most compassionate providers I have ever met. JMO. As I said earlier 500 hrs does he need to repeat. Lol.

Edited by geecue2
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1 minute ago, geecue2 said:

She is one of the most compassionate providers I have ever met. JMO.

Evidence from this thread to the contrary.  :rolleyes:

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5 minutes ago, MAG said:

Evidence from this thread to the contrary.  :rolleyes:

Take a chance trust someone.

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OK, OK, MAG and Laci, eat a Snickers, you just aren't yourselves when you haven't eaten.

As to the original OP's point:

Yes, it's better not to repeat...if you repeat, don't do too much.

Alot of providers just want to make money. There is always a new sucker around the corner (maybe I am one of them). They don't really care once they have your money.

I do have bad experience, both past and present. The past is not worth mentioning. As for the present, unfortunately, I cannot mention it. 

This is simply a man expressing his feelings.  Apparently he expected a lot more in the way of emotional involvement than he has found.  My opinion is simply that after 500 hours he should know that he is entirely correct:  the providers just want to make money.  What he has not come to grips with is the fact that this is also entirely fine.  That is why we all go to work, and this is their work.  Some like their work more than others, some don't.  The OP is also entirely correct that once they have your money, they don't really care.  That is also entirely fine, I am paying for their time and companionship (and splendid it is), you can't pay someone to care about you.  Maybe some do, maybe some don't.  You shouldn't expect it.  Frankly, I am pretty sure that most of the ladies don't really care much about me, but since they do such a wonderful job of pretending that they care about me for 60-90 minutes, I am a happy old guy.

In my humble old country-boy opinion, Mr. Hobbyer, I think you have it backwards - maybe you would enjoy the sport more if you went less for constant variety, and visited someone you like several times.  I am pretty much confined to four ladies at this point in time, all of whom I have visited with repeatedly.  Each time gets better and better as we get better acquainted.  Perfect illustration: about five hours ago I was enjoying the companionship of a lovely lady that I have probably seen 20-25 times over the past two years.  Today was the hottest ever, still smiling.  I care about her, I think she sorta cares about me (in the "hope he doesn't get run over before he comes to see me again" sort of way) and we have lots of fun.

Bottom line, the guy is reaching out and sharing his feelings, they are as valid as anyone else's, no reason to pile on to him.

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1 hour ago, MAG said:

Maybe your signature should be "Fill your life with sarcasm and your heart with disdain".

The guy is obviously going through a rough time and came here for support & maybe some advice.

Sheesh.

You will not find a more compassionate and caring person than Laci...PERIOD.

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1 hour ago, MAG said:

Evidence from this thread to the contrary.  :rolleyes:

Is there anyone you agree with on TOB?

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2 hours ago, Badboy said:

OK, OK, MAG and Laci, eat a Snickers, you just aren't yourselves when you haven't eaten.

As to the original OP's point:

Yes, it's better not to repeat...if you repeat, don't do too much.

Alot of providers just want to make money. There is always a new sucker around the corner (maybe I am one of them). They don't really care once they have your money.

I do have bad experience, both past and present. The past is not worth mentioning. As for the present, unfortunately, I cannot mention it. 

This is simply a man expressing his feelings.  Apparently he expected a lot more in the way of emotional involvement than he has found.  My opinion is simply that after 500 hours he should know that he is entirely correct:  the providers just want to make money.  What he has not come to grips with is the fact that this is also entirely fine.  That is why we all go to work, and this is their work.  Some like their work more than others, some don't.  The OP is also entirely correct that once they have your money, they don't really care.  That is also entirely fine, I am paying for their time and companionship (and splendid it is), you can't pay someone to care about you.  Maybe some do, maybe some don't.  You shouldn't expect it.  Frankly, I am pretty sure that most of the ladies don't really care much about me, but since they do such a wonderful job of pretending that they care about me for 60-90 minutes, I am a happy old guy.

In my humble old country-boy opinion, Mr. Hobbyer, I think you have it backwards - maybe you would enjoy the sport more if you went less for constant variety, and visited someone you like several times.  I am pretty much confined to four ladies at this point in time, all of whom I have visited with repeatedly.  Each time gets better and better as we get better acquainted.  Perfect illustration: about five hours ago I was enjoying the companionship of a lovely lady that I have probably seen 20-25 times over the past two years.  Today was the hottest ever, still smiling.  I care about her, I think she sorta cares about me (in the "hope he doesn't get run over before he comes to see me again" sort of way) and we have lots of fun.

Bottom line, the guy is reaching out and sharing his feelings, they are as valid as anyone else's, no reason to pile on to him.

This is worth reading twice!

Image result for applause gif

 

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2 hours ago, Badboy said:

Bottom line, the guy is reaching out and sharing his feelings, they are as valid as anyone else's, no reason to pile on to him.

Bingo.

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3 hours ago, Badboy said:

This is simply a man expressing his feelings.  Apparently he expected a lot more in the way of emotional involvement than he has found.  My opinion is simply that after 500 hours he should know that he is entirely correct:  .....................

In my humble old country-boy opinion, Mr. Hobbyer, I think you have it backwards - maybe you would enjoy the sport more if you went less for constant variety, and visited someone you like several times.  ....................

Bottom line, the guy is reaching out and sharing his feelings, they are as valid as anyone else's, no reason to pile on to him.

Thank you, Badboy...the 500 hours were split amongst 160-170 ladies. I have had a few regulars in the past. The story is the same. At some point, they take you for granted being the "old reliable". You can say that I am jaded but that is my conclusion.

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43 minutes ago, hobbyer said:

Thank you, Badboy...the 500 hours were split amongst 160-170 ladies. I have had a few regulars in the past. The story is the same. At some point, they take you for granted being the "old reliable". You can say that I am jaded but that is my conclusion.

You've seen many ladies. Where are your reviews?  You only have one review posted back in 2014.

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1 minute ago, ilovewomen said:

You've seen many ladies. Where are your reviews?  You only have one review posted back in 2014.

Most of my escapades are out of town; I rarely repeat when I am out of town. I haven't seen a whole lot of ladies in CO. I didn't write much review as they have a bunch already.

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Mr. hobbyer you should not brush in such wide strokes in posts.  I was offended by reading your post because it felt as if you were placing all providers in your experience summary.

You cannot make such broad generalizations. I have met some of my best friends and those closest to my heart in this "hobby" that obviously did not happen with the donation and the envelope.

A true connection trancends the hobby experience. And that is the only thing that interests me.

I have asked gentlemen to leave because they wanted the 3g experience and that feels too mechanical.

Its hurtful to read a post such as this and be lumped into a category.

Im really sorry youve had such negative experiences but when posting you should be more specific instead of casting such a wide net.

Or maybe I was just being cunty...doubtful, but I will accept fully.

Mr Mag I'm glad you were able to be the compassionate one for the OP today. I looked through your posts and that seems to ring true in all your posts...you are now Mr. Compassionate.

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15 minutes ago, hobbyer said:

Most of my escapades are out of town; I rarely repeat when I am out of town. I haven't seen a whole lot of ladies in CO. I didn't write much review as they have a bunch already.

You should see more local ladies then and maybe you would feel better about the hobby.

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