BadBoy

Falling For a Provider

38 posts in this topic

As I have mentioned several times in several threads, my biggest problem in this sport is to keep from falling in love, since I seem to "click" with several of my ATFs.  Actually had my feelings hurt once (wahh, boo hoo).

Came across this the other day, and I think it is a good thing to keep in mind.

Small Soul Mate.jpg

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Hahahaha.. that's funny dude. I do agree though, sometimes it's hard to keep things 100% business. But in the end, it's best for everyone to keep it all business. 

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Sometimes I think falling for clients is even worse. It takes a lot of effort to convince  guys the interest in him is genuine and it really sucks to get rejected by a guy whom you're trying to give it away for free.

I recently broke it off with my FWB, he started as a client. It didn't end well, apparently I am routine and a little boring :( Oh well it was only two years of my life.

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5 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Sometimes I think falling for clients is even worse. It takes a lot of effort to convince  guys the interest in him is genuine and it really sucks to get rejected by a guy whom you're trying to give it away for free.

I recently broke it off with my FWB, he started as a client. It didn't end well, apparently I am routine and a little boring :( Oh well it was only two years of my life.

I doubt very much that you are routine or boring. Just MHO. He, obviously, was not direct or honest with you. I know that sounds like BS, but just my take. I'm truly sorry for your loss. Been there, done that as well......

It's a slippery slope to get involved emotionally when there's money involved. But (like I love to say always a "BUT" haha) In the end we are all very much human creatures. Love is the one thing that makes us human creatures.

Don't be too hard on yourselves for finding love where you never expected it. If it's returned, well, that's a great thing and to be thankful for.

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We all can say whatever we want about how we will always keep it "all business."  Those are our intentions...

...and also the famous last words of some who met this way, and boom.  Its like you got hit by a fucking train. A wonderful smelling, primally addictive, awe-inspiring, and sometimes way-too-old-for-you and emotionally unavailable train. Sigh. **:)**

Cant help who does that to you, nor can you just decide not to love them. Doesnt work like that.

 

 

 

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It can work out. My S/O and I met through TOB. We're still together, and still love each other, hopefully, 'til I shuffle off this mortal coil.

I've always felt, though, that even if we split up, I'd rather have had the relationship with her, than never have met at all. 

I hope everyone feels that kind of love in their lifetime! :)

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1 hour ago, Jez UaBriain said:

Fall in love with a provider? No, who would do that!!!!!!!

This guy, a healthy human being.

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13 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Sometimes I think falling for clients is even worse. It takes a lot of effort to convince  guys the interest in him is genuine and it really sucks to get rejected by a guy whom you're trying to give it away for free.

I recently broke it off with my FWB, he started as a client. It didn't end well, apparently I am routine and a little boring :( Oh well it was only two years of my life.

I'm sorry you're hurting. Two years of one's life is a big investment. Btw...I don't see how anyone, in their right mind, would consider you either routine or boring. I have a propensity to fall quickly and deeply for my ATF's and if you're searching for a rebound romance I'd like to offer my services.

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2 hours ago, Jez UaBriain said:

Fall in love with a provider? No, who would do that!!!!!!!

 

1 hour ago, ironman318 said:

This guy, a healthy human being.

I'm not sure, but I believe that Jez's post should be placed in the <sarcasm> font. 

1 hour ago, pfunk said:

It can work out. My S/O and I met through TOB. We're still together, and still love each other, hopefully, 'til I shuffle off this mortal coil.

...

I know both personally. This is NOT fiction.  They truly are happy. 

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I don't believe it is a problem, so long as mentally you understand the nature of the relationship.  To elaborate, its like having a favorite store, restaurant etc.., you might become a regular, and develop a strong relationship with the proprietors and staff.  However at the end of the day, you cant expect them not to serve other customers, nor go out of business should their sales go south.  It hurts, but at the end of the day you will find another establishment to patron.            

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3 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

 

I'm not sure, but I believe that Jez's post should be placed in the <sarcasm> font. 

I know both personally. This is NOT fiction.  They truly are happy. 

Yes, my comment was indeed oozing with sarcasm. And yes, Pfunk and SO are two people who are indeed kindred spirits.

I also think open relationships are healthy. Very few animal species are totally monogamous.

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8 minutes ago, Jez UaBriain said:

Yes, my comment was indeed oozing with sarcasm. And yes, Pfunk and SO are two people who are indeed kindred spirits.

I also think open relationships are healthy. Very few animal species are totally monogamous.

As a Zoologist, I concur completely.  Of the few species which are monogamous, humans aren't among them.

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6 hours ago, MrBigShot said:

Btw...I don't see how anyone, in their right mind, would consider you either routine or boring.

I LONG ago learned that everyone's "Wow!" is someone else's "thank god she (or he's) gone."

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22 hours ago, Badboy said:

As I have mentioned several times in several threads, my biggest problem in this sport is to keep from falling in love, since I seem to "click" with several of my ATFs.  Actually had my feelings hurt once (wahh, boo hoo)... 

I can't speak for every married gent or gents who have been in monogamous relationships, but I for one have never fallen in love with a provider...and I've clicked with several.  I can see how many possible relationships can develop, but to me hobbying is about people having fun. 

I hope that doesn't sound course

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It works if you're not the jealous type. And she's not either. Kinda helps if she's into you too. 

 

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I don't really understand the whole falling in love with a provider, but that doesn't mean it can't/won't happen. I have formed a special bond with a couple young ladies in this hobby of ours. One I've known a while, and would do practically anything in the world for her, and the other I met kinda recently but we just click.. I enjoy the friendship we've developed and I think , personally myself, that letting other feelings get involved would mess up the bond we have already. Just my 2 cents worth. But let's face it, there are some absolutely gorgeous ladies in this hobby of ours and it almost impossible not to have some feelings for our favorite ones.. 

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12 minutes ago, Juanmotai said:

I don't really understand the whole falling in love with a provider, but that doesn't mean it can't/won't happen. I have formed a special bond with a couple young ladies in this hobby of ours. ...

... But let's face it, there are some absolutely gorgeous ladies in this hobby of ours and it almost impossible not to have some feelings for our favorite ones.. 

Over the years I have formed a special relationship with a number of ladies. I would even say that I love a few (philia - their happiness means something to me), but I've never been romantically 'in love' with them. We may get together for dinner or drinks, but BCD remains business. Some, now retired, I still see as casual friends. 

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I think there’s a boundary here between Infatuation and Love. It’s easy to become infatuated with someone, whether it be from a fantasy of “Wow, She’s the One for Me”, and then actually “She is the One for Me”. Falling for one of our peers here can involve far more than love to me. It can involve being genuine. If the call comes, and you gotta stand up for them…you do. It’s called Friendship. Nothing wrong with it. Easily for me more substantial than “Falling for a Provider”. Personally I’d rather continue these relationships on a Friendship Basis, where I can see a Pretty Lady numerous times and simply talk about things in general, not “Us”. When comes to a point for me to where I tell someone “I Really Really Like You”, it’s time to bolt. If I can say to anyone, “I Think You Cool”, I’m prolly in for the long run. I know a lot of cool peeps. Don't know if this made sense my $.02 anyways.

Edited by fishndude57
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We spend very intimate time with one another.  It's not surprising that people would develop feelings for another as a result. . 

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I fell hard for one once.. it was painful too..  OK, OK, so she tripped me when I was walking out of her room... it still counts man 

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1 hour ago, DemureMorman said:

When she is clean, you fit together well, you start off standing, picking her up, kissing, her reaching for your tap tap to insert in her bb (you standing, holding her up, with her legs still locked around your back). You have to tell Her that "we really need to...condom" because you know that you will not last much longer (that you're not a msoger). When she asks you if you want more time? When you do it every which way (like you haven't done in over half a decade). When you find it still easy (and want) to talk to her afterwards in and out of the shower together. When she wants every bit of you for some reason or other, maybe to retain you for her future move to your state, you sealed the deal, the final nudge in her mind to transfer. You know you cannot review these ones who are smitten, you become possessive. How can you not? when one gives over all of herself to you on the first visit, from the first kiss. Very responsive Y, obviously not a show. It just goes on and on. You think you're wearing her out, thinking she's thinking you have "gettin' it up" problems, but she still wants yet more and may ask you to just...stay.

Image result for welcome to fantasy island

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Isn't that why we do this--to be completely smitten for a short time? I know that's why I do.

The physical aspect is nice, but the mental connection is what I strive for.  My perfect scenario is similar to Morman's with my own personal twists. I want to immediately have that connection and to enjoy it throughout our time together. I want to reflect on that time later that day; that week. I want the memory of her voice, her kiss, her touch, to linger for as long as possible.

Maybe I'm unique. When I like someone, I really like that person and want to give my everything to that relationship--whether it's for an hour or a lifetime. Afterwards, I let it go. Don't get me wrong. It's not always easy to do and over the years I've gotten myself into some awkward situations. But experience has taught me when to let go and to simply savor the experience.

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I did fall in love with a provider this year, experienced the whole thing, and the pain for about a month. It sucked. But after I realized that even the pain of love is better than being alone

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4 hours ago, jhooker said:

I did fall in love with a provider this year, experienced the whole thing, and the pain for about a month. It sucked. But after I realized that even the pain of love is better than being alone

Pain makes you beautiful, my friend.  ...so apparently I must be freakin' gorgeous...

Edited by daaacz
Another thought.
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Never had any pain or heartache in this endeavor, but I learned early on to never expect more from a  person or a situation then they/it can provide (i.e., its not get what you want but want what you have got).

I think that is why I enjoy this endeavor so much is because at the end of the day it's all wrapped up in a fairly well defined business transaction. So I  put my heart into it because I realize that "it's not personal it's just business".

 

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I've never fallen for a provider. For me the whole point of the hobby is so that does not happen. I'll never seek out another relationship. It's just too much damn work.

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