BadLeroyBrown

Dating while in the business...

47 posts in this topic

I was just thinking about it, and I'm sure that this is listed in prior threads, but I've searched to no avail. What happens when a provider becomes lonely, of course you see who you wish M-F for business purposes, but how does a lady transition from many men to just one? What's the biggest obstacle in doing so? Was just wondering... always enjoy hearing from the ladies, fellas feel free to chime in! Happy Friday everyone!

-2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just assume every lady (ok, many) have SOs at home and know how to separate hobbying world from real world.  I know a few that have SOs, husbands and young adults (so I don't get dinged) living at home, but hobby as a means to support themselves, pure pleasure and somewhere in between.  Personally, I don't want to hear about their SOs BCD as I'm sure they don't want to hear about my family life.

Hobby world stays in hobby world and real life world stays in real life world.  Do your best to NEVER  let them cross!

Ghostbusters-.gif

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, BadLeroyBrown said:

I was just thinking about it, and I'm sure that this is listed in prior threads, but I've searched to no avail. What happens when a provider becomes lonely, of course you see who you wish M-F for business purposes, but how does a lady transition from many men to just one? What's the biggest obstacle in doing so? Was just wondering... always enjoy hearing from the ladies, fellas feel free to chime in! Happy Friday everyone!

I might be wrong but I don't see why she would need to transition to just one. variety is the spice of life.

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What's the question? Do you assume that we give up our work when we find a partner?

Providers are real people that like relationships and sometimes are in relationships of their own already. Some even date their clients. I have and would again in the future date clients.

And anyone who has actually watched Ghostbusters knows that it was crossing the streams that saved the day. It sent Gozer back into ghost world and saved Dana and Louis. Sometimes crossing the streams is cool.

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
24 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

What's the question? Do you assume that we give up our work when we find a partner?

Providers are real people that like relationships and sometimes are in relationships of their own already. Some even date their clients. I have and would again in the future date clients.

And anyone who has actually watched Ghostbusters knows that it was crossing the streams that saved the day. It sent Gozer back into ghost world and saved Dana and Louis. Sometimes crossing the streams is cool.

I guess my question really more so surrounded is it difficult to find a partner that understands your worklife, or like do most women just choose not to date until they retire?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
26 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

What's the question? Do you assume that we give up our work when we find a partner?

Providers are real people that like relationships and sometimes are in relationships of their own already. Some even date their clients. I have and would again in the future date clients.

And anyone who has actually watched Ghostbusters knows that it was crossing the streams that saved the day. It sent Gozer back into ghost world and saved Dana and Louis. Sometimes crossing the streams is cool.

Love the Ghostbusters analogy though, sincerely! If you figure out a way to throw some Thundercats in there I might just fall in love! I'm just sayin' 😍😍😍😙

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, boink36 said:

I might be wrong but I don't see why she would need to transition to just one. variety is the spice of life.

I mean I agree, nothing wrong with playing the field, but what about when they are wanting that one meaningful relationship with just one?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, BadLeroyBrown said:

I guess my question really more so surrounded is it difficult to find a partner that understands your worklife, or like do most women just choose not to date until they retire?

It can be difficult, it's hard to find someone you can be totally honest with regardless of careers. Some may wait but I wouldn't. I am youngish and would prefer to do the fun things I want to do with a partner now.

My opinion on dating a provider or as a provider maybe isn't the most popular but I believe that finding successful relations while providing is pretty easy. If anything relations with a provider are probably stronger. A well seasoned provider is confident with herself and her abilities and knows what she has to offer a partner. When you can be honest about something like escorting for a living it makes all the other truths that much easier to share. The hardest part of any provider relationship is probably their partner and their struggle to accept what their lady does for a living. Some are cool with it, most say they are cool with it but really aren't. It can be very hard to process that your partner does things with other people that they do with you. If a guy wants to date a provider he really needs to be able to compartmentalize. A job is a job and she be treated as such in any relationship.

This job can get lonely but it's more like blue balls than actual loneliness. You spend your days catering to the needs of others while ignoring your own. There are sessions and people that almost get the job done but ultimately fall short because of the superficiality of the exchange. Eventually you need something or someone more fulfilling.

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

It can be difficult, it's hard to find someone you can be totally honest with regardless of careers. Some may wait but I wouldn't. I am youngish and would prefer to do the fun things I want to do with a partner now.

My opinion on dating a provider or as a provider maybe isn't the most popular but I believe that finding successful relations while providing is pretty easy. If anything relations with a provider are probably stronger. A well seasoned provider is confident with herself and her abilities and knows what she has to offer a partner. When you can be honest about something like escorting for a living it makes all the other truths that much easier to share. The hardest part of any provider relationship is probably their partner and their struggle to accept what their lady does for a living. Some are cool with it, most say they are cool with it but really aren't. It can be very hard to process that your partner does things with other people that they do with you. If a guy wants to date a provider he really needs to be able to compartmentalize. A job is a job and she be treated as such in any relationship.

This job can get lonely but it's more like blue balls than actual loneliness. You spend your days catering to the needs of others while ignoring your own. There are sessions and people that almost get the job done but ultimately fall short because of the superficiality of the exchange. Eventually you need something or someone more fulfilling.

Substance... tangibility! What's real, and what's not! I dig you!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FOR ME... It has been extremely difficult to find a man that is BOTH emotionally mature, sane, abuse free and fetish free AND totally cool with me still being an active/known escort while we are seriously dating.

The two combined incomes would be outrageous, but most men just can't seem to wrap their mind around me being with other men while dating me.

The men that would date/marry me is NOT the problem. 

(1) Typically I meet men who would love to date/marry me, but would immediately want me to cease being an escort. While this is disappointing I feel like this is a totally normal guy just being a really normal guy.

(2) Typically I meet men who would love to date/marry me, but would love to fling their dick all over the US plowing anything with a skirt while they would never want any other man touching me. Currently I date because I receive a rate. This type of man is guided and controlled by lust, and lust alone. Money or no money this man would screw any woman he was remotely attracted to. I am not that type of person. I am pretty choose-y, and need many reasons to engage in real world sex with a man. Sometimes it's 2 glasses of Absinthe and a man in sexy glasses lol, but 97% of the time I need much more from a man in order to engage in naughty bedroom fun. I love having sex, and lots of it!! I think about sex a lot, and want it all the time!! I'm definitely not a prude, I'm just picky and loyal lol.

(3) Typically I meet men who would love to date/marry me while still allowing me to be an escort, BUT they all suffer from sort sort of major defect(s) ... extremely emotionally immature, completely insane sociopaths and psychopaths, abusive mentally/emotionally/physically, drug/alcohol addictions or are into seriously weird fetish crap which most normal woman in the real world would Never be okay with.

******* THIS IS ONLY MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE ACCOUNTS OF ALL MEN *******

Which leads me to the belief that if I am ever going to date again, and honestly find real, true Love... I need to get out of the escort business all together.

I would choose Love over this job in a heartbeat because I'm a total sucker for a great love affair.

But... To be honest with everyone... I am utterly addicted to this lifestyle I am used to living, and it's extremely hard to break free from escorting because the money is fast, easy and plentiful AND my life is exciting and carefree.

This is probably where most of us escorts struggle the most when contemplating leaving the escorting business to live a "normal mainstream life". 

The money, the excitement and the carefree lifestyle is ultimately what keeps me from my Destiny of finding Mr. Right.

Is it so wrong that I want to have my cake, and eat it too lol? Mmmm cake lol 

 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, Scarlett Dayne said:

The two combined incomes would be outrageous, but most men just can't seem to wrap their mind around me being with other men while dating me.

I'd have no problem with you being with other men while dating you, but that combined income thing, probably not. I'd be quitting my job and you'd be supporting me, right? I mean with all that sex, I'd need my rest.:cool:

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/6/2016 at 4:53 PM, BigBaldBlk said:

I just assume every lady (ok, many) have SOs at home and know how to separate hobbying world from real world.  I know a few that have SOs, husbands and young adults (so I don't get dinged) living at home, but hobby as a means to support themselves, pure pleasure and somewhere in between.  Personally, I don't want to hear about their SOs BCD as I'm sure they don't want to hear about my family life.

Hobby world stays in hobby world and real life world stays in real life world.  Do your best to NEVER  let them cross!

Ghostbusters-.gif

Love the electric "firey wall of protection"!!! We all need one in life.

Honestly, I really don't want my elderly parents finding out about me. Out of respect for them is all. 

Edited by Kali Sensual Reiki
Thinking about who's privacy matters most it's our parents.
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, Raoul said:

I'd have no problem with you being with other men while dating you, but that combined income thing, probably not. I'd be quitting my job and you'd be supporting me, right? I mean with all that sex, I'd need my rest.:cool:

Ummm NO lol. Hee hee you are too Silly lol ;-)~

I would never support a man financially unless we were engaged/already married, AND he got injured, sick, paralyzed or wanted to go to seminary.

Nice try though. I like how your wheels turn lol.

 

Edited by Scarlett Dayne
1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

55 minutes ago, Scarlett Dayne said:

I would never support a man financially unless we were engaged/already married, AND ... wanted to go to seminary.

Scarlett Dayne, The Preachers Wife.

A Lifetime Movie Event. This thing will write itself. :cool:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
54 minutes ago, Raoul said:

 

Scarlett Dayne, The Preachers Wife.

A Lifetime Movie Event. This thing will write itself. :cool:

I thought about writing a book about the Escort World after I exit stage left from this endeavor lol. It would definitely be a very juicy, tell-all type of book that would NOT be about all the hot dates I've had BUT more about all the not-so-great dates I've had before. I just want it to be really funny, and make people laugh realizing this job isn't all glam and glitz. It has its ups and downs just like everything else here on Earth lol.

I think my funniest recently was walking through someone's patio screen door. It was like a spider web. I walked into it, and yet kept going further and further completely entwining myself in the entire door frame and screen. When I was released from the madness it looked like a 900 lb bull had gotten a hold of that door. Grace... is not my strong suit LMAO ;-)~

I think it would be Hilarious to have a TV sitcom about a few escorts who are roommates, and have it be about their funny and trifling antics that go on from day to day.

I'm good at writing. Have a few scripts semi-written up. I'm apparently not good at knowing the right people to make this happen lol... yet ;-)~

Edited by Scarlett Dayne
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
34 minutes ago, Scarlett Dayne said:

I thought about writing a book about the Escort World after I exit stage left from this endeavor lol. It would definitely be a very juicy, tell-all type of book that would NOT be about all the hot dates I've had BUT more about all the not-so-great dates I've had before. I just want it to be really funny, and make people laugh realizing this job isn't all glam and glitz. It has its ups and downs just like everything else here on Earth lol.

I think my funniest recently was walking through someone's patio screen door. It was like a spider web. I walked into it, and yet kept going further and further completely entwining myself in the entire door frame and screen. When I was released from the madness it looked like a 900 lb bull had gotten a hold of that door. Grace... is not my strong suit LMAO ;-)~

I think it would be Hilarious to have a TV sitcom about a few escorts who are roommates, and have it be about their funny and trifling antics that go on from day to day.

I'm good at writing. Have a few scripts semi-written up. I'm apparently not good at knowing the right people to make this happen lol... yet ;-)~

New Thread...title Scartlett's movie. Scarlett's Web....go!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Scarlett Dayne said:

I thought about writing a book about the Escort World after I exit stage left from this endeavor lol. It would definitely be a very juicy, tell-all type of book that would NOT be about all the hot dates I've had BUT more about all the not-so-great dates I've had before. I just want it to be really funny, and make people laugh realizing this job isn't all glam and glitz. It has its ups and downs just like everything else here on Earth lol.

I think my funniest recently was walking through someone's patio screen door. It was like a spider web. I walked into it, and yet kept going further and further completely entwining myself in the entire door frame and screen. When I was released from the madness it looked like a 900 lb bull had gotten a hold of that door. Grace... is not my strong suit LMAO ;-)~

I think it would be Hilarious to have a TV sitcom about a few escorts who are roommates, and have it be about their funny and trifling antics that go on from day to day.

I'm good at writing. Have a few scripts semi-written up. I'm apparently not good at knowing the right people to make this happen lol... yet ;-)~

I think that would be a fun post     I think you should post some of them here and maybe some other people could post their stories

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, crazyb said:

I think that would be a fun post     I think you should post some of them here and maybe some other people could post their stories

The thing is; A Provider submitting stories to the forum would have to be done in the third person narrative as "he", "she", "it", or "they", but never as "I" or "me" (first person) as that would be considered promoting their own goods, services & not allowed in the forum as Advertising......

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Scarlett Dayne said:

FOR ME... It has been extremely difficult to find a man that is BOTH emotionally mature, sane, abuse free and fetish free AND totally cool with me still being an active/known escort while we are seriously dating.

The two combined incomes would be outrageous, but most men just can't seem to wrap their mind around me being with other men while dating me.

The men that would date/marry me is NOT the problem. 

(1) Typically I meet men who would love to date/marry me, but would immediately want me to cease being an escort. While this is disappointing I feel like this is a totally normal guy just being a really normal guy.

(2) Typically I meet men who would love to date/marry me, but would love to fling their dick all over the US plowing anything with a skirt while they would never want any other man touching me. Currently I date because I receive a rate. This type of man is guided and controlled by lust, and lust alone. Money or no money this man would screw any woman he was remotely attracted to. I am not that type of person. I am pretty choose-y, and need many reasons to engage in real world sex with a man. Sometimes it's 2 glasses of Absinthe and a man in sexy glasses lol, but 97% of the time I need much more from a man in order to engage in naughty bedroom fun. I love having sex, and lots of it!! I think about sex a lot, and want it all the time!! I'm definitely not a prude, I'm just picky and loyal lol.

(3) Typically I meet men who would love to date/marry me while still allowing me to be an escort, BUT they all suffer from sort sort of major defect(s) ... extremely emotionally immature, completely insane sociopaths and psychopaths, abusive mentally/emotionally/physically, drug/alcohol addictions or are into seriously weird fetish crap which most normal woman in the real world would Never be okay with.

******* THIS IS ONLY MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE ACCOUNTS OF ALL MEN *******

Which leads me to the belief that if I am ever going to date again, and honestly find real, true Love... I need to get out of the escort business all together.

I would choose Love over this job in a heartbeat because I'm a total sucker for a great love affair.

But... To be honest with everyone... I am utterly addicted to this lifestyle I am used to living, and it's extremely hard to break free from escorting because the money is fast, easy and plentiful AND my life is exciting and carefree.

This is probably where most of us escorts struggle the most when contemplating leaving the escorting business to live a "normal mainstream life". 

The money, the excitement and the carefree lifestyle is ultimately what keeps me from my Destiny of finding Mr. Right.

Is it so wrong that I want to have my cake, and eat it too lol? Mmmm cake lol 

 

No ma'am.... what flavor is your "cake" by the way?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, SabrinaLynn said:

As far as for me and my family...Well let's just say BETTER TO KEEP SECRET.

My whole life would be torn upside down if I was ever "outed"! But, when I do date outside of working I lead them to believe I'm actually going to a 9-5, and come home within decent work hours. Its worked so far...LoL

Dang, so what happens when young man tries to send flowers to your office? What career field is your 9-5 in?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

With the right person, there is no "transition" because for me, the "right person" is not inclined to decide for me when to make a switch.  If I want to switch to only one man it will be easy as community college cause I won't want "many men." Maybe I'm just a lascivious brat...but variety is fun. Here's my perspective :

 

So, I've met someone theoretically, and I think he is hotter and more amazing than a brand new Slinky. Wonderful! Now that I've got this piece of man-candy by my side, I should  a)stop what I've been doing for 13 years because he says he can't deal with it b)sneak around and do it on the low-low since it's so awful and shitty and omg how can I possibly be okay with it knowing that there's someone at home who can give me all the snausages I could possibly want just for fun OR .... C) choose to date guys who don't decide that once I'm "theirs" that I should just immediately change all MY methods of sustaining my way of existence.

Why should I fuck with anyone who, knowing what I do up front (always), decides it's beneath him to date a freak who loves to fuck (AND isn't just out being used and hoping for validation at some point?)  Change all my shit around for THAT? Gooby pls.

I will always go with the one who likes me ALREADY, and doesnt need me to "fix" my ass for him. Because they respect and trust me. Because they're secure in my feelings for them and don't take that madonna-whore bullshit anywhere near me; because I'm a bad bad bitch who doesn't get with people for the fuck of it or cause I need them to feel whole. They're lucky and they know it. I'm lucky too and I waste no time with a man from whom I don't feel lucky to have the affection.

 

Maybe it makes me a bit of an asshole, but im an asshole who gets what I want or just deal with the loneliness and DO WHAT I WANT with the time I am saddled with in my lonely existence.  For me, the concept of making any kind of abrupt switch from my job to a relationship is simply too much to expect.  Over half the time, it is only an issue with the ones that I'd call "fuckboys" after all is said and done...the ones who decide after 1 year of living together that they want a "NSA" roommate AKA a live in housekeeper they can crawl on top of when they want or crawl on top of whoever they want instead other times. Funny how they never remember that MY life is not sustained by their ego in all its fragility. I am not kept alive by their feelings, and they never seem to want to pick up any of the slack left by that 13.00/hr job that they CAN handle. Just saying...men who want to date a lady like me are typically not "dutiful" in any sense of the word and guys who wanna be like "oh you can count on me baby, you don't need that job!"...they really need to be prepared to put their coin where their cake hole is if they want me to believe their words.

 

Personally, I would not transition to one man for any reason that isn't him putting a ring on it.  I like variety, but if Im receptive to someone "ringing" me, chances are that giving up the variety I have come to love will be easy as hell anyhow :) Alas, the last man I met who made me feel that way...knows who he is and that I think he's being too stubborn by "being alone." Fuck me lol...

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not to certain I would want to actually "date" someone I've met over the TOB/BP website. Not sure how I would explain this one to the guys at BBQ's.. LOL

 

But on second thought, I  have never been put into that type of predicament, so who really knows what I would do or say, when the time comes now that I think about it!

Edited by HenryFlyGuy
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, HenryFlyGuy said:

I'm not to certain I would want to actually "date" someone I've met over the TOB/BP website. Not sure how I would explain this one to the guys at BBQ's.. LOL

 

But on second thought, I  have never been put into that type of predicament, so who really knows what I would do or say, when the time comes now that I think about it!

You ran into them at a hotel and seemed to instantly hit it off!  - Could quite possibly be the truth with a little rewording. :wub:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Could be. 

In my life thing's like that don't just happen to me if you catch my drift.:P

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Madame Web said:

You ran into them at a hotel and seemed to instantly hit it off!  - Could quite possibly be the truth with a little rewording. :wub:

We met on a dating website - just pick one of the many sites and go with it.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, HenryFlyGuy said:

I'm not to certain I would want to actually "date" someone I've met over the TOB/BP website. Not sure how I would explain this one to the guys at BBQ's.. LOL

 

But on second thought, I  have never been put into that type of predicament, so who really knows what I would do or say, when the time comes now that I think about it!

Based on these comments, do everyone a favor and don't ever date an escort - or anyone else you think you have to hide or make excuses about to "the guys." If the "guys" don't like who I choose to date they can go enjoy vigorous self intercourse out of my sight.

If I am misreading this and it is just a "where did you guys meet" problem that is simplicity itself.  "online". Let them assume a dating site.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the whole "can an escort/john date someone"  is being made way too complicated by most.  The key to any relationship is simply being able to always make your partner feel special and cherished (as hopefully they ARE).  Doesn't matter whether he/she is a nurse, truck driver, escort, accountant, whatever.  The problem is that it is really easy to use the "I will only have sex with you and no one else" thing in most relationships as the cornerstone of showing how 'special" the partner is.  But if you are actively working as an escort or are an actively participating john it becomes much more difficult.  But if sex is the only thing you use to make the other feel special, the discovery that you cheated is going to be totally devastating.  If on the other hand sex is out as the display of special status it forces the couple into demonstrating their love, commitment, depth of value in other, perhaps more meaningful and lasting ways.  Not necessarily easy, but when two people can pull it together i for one think their relationship is actually much deeper and more stable and fulfilling than the classic monogamy proof.  Not that there is anything wrong with monogamy, but it is not necessarily the end all be all in every case.  And it should come about as a "feels right" choice, not a societal or friends or family expectation and should never, never be the only way you make him/her feel special.  Just my usually minority opinion for what it is worth.

6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

I think the whole "can an escort/john date someone"  is being made way too complicated by most.  The key to any relationship is simply being able to always make your partner feel special and cherished (as hopefully they ARE).  Doesn't matter whether he/she is a nurse, truck driver, escort, accountant, whatever.  The problem is that it is really easy to use the "I will only have sex with you and no one else" thing in most relationships as the cornerstone of showing how 'special" the partner is.  But if you are actively working as an escort or are an actively participating john it becomes much more difficult.  But if sex is the only thing you use to make the other feel special, the discovery that you cheated is going to be totally devastating.  If on the other hand sex is out as the display of special status it forces the couple into demonstrating their love, commitment, depth of value in other, perhaps more meaningful and lasting ways.  Not necessarily easy, but when two people can pull it together i for one think their relationship is actually much deeper and more stable and fulfilling than the classic monogamy proof.  Not that there is anything wrong with monogamy, but it is not necessarily the end all be all in every case.  And it should come about as a "feels right" choice, not a societal or friends or family expectation and should never, never be the only way you make him/her feel special.  Just my usually minority opinion for what it is worth.

Yes! Awesome post Gr8owl!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/6/2016 at 5:36 PM, Lucy Kitten said:

What's the question? Do you assume that we give up our work when we find a partner?

Providers are real people that like relationships and sometimes are in relationships of their own already. Some even date their clients. I have and would again in the future date clients.

And anyone who has actually watched Ghostbusters knows that it was crossing the streams that saved the day. It sent Gozer back into ghost world and saved Dana and Louis. Sometimes crossing the streams is cool.

I have experienced this phenomena, with a SP that crossed over and we would do things, go on dates. It's a date when she isn't running the meter. But after awhile I believe she started to fall for me and she just vanished. The downside to crossing over is the heartache for awhile. But like miss kitten sais, I would do it again. What's wrong with affection and natural feelings for someone? You just can never be a possessive person and get anywhere close to a SPs heart, they are naturally independent and are repelled by the iron chains of a relationship. Think of them as butterfly's, if you can attract one enough to where she feels safe and can get an emotional feed she will stay. But only as long as she wants, and when she feels like she wants to leave she has to be able to just like that. We clients must be happy just watching the butterfly's and admiring their beauty. Be nice, be still, she'll come back.......maybe.

6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now