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Providers deciding to text out of the clear blue!

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So, you want to visit a provider. You don't have a P411 account, so you give her the names of other providers you've visited with. You give her your phone number so she can make sure you're legit, and that the providers you've given as references recognize your phone number as well. You visit with the provider, and have a grand ole time. A month later the provider comes back to town and decides to TEXT YOU OUT OF THE CLEAR BLUE..."Hey baby, it's me *****. I'm in town again. Would you like to get together?" I've been very lucky that others weren't around when the text came on my phone, but what the hell ladies? What are you thinking??? We wish you remain discreet and DON'T necessarily want you texting out of the clear blue! Anyone have similar problems like this?

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Other people have posted, that it's happened to them, in the past. Text her back, when you can, be polite, and let her know you prefer not to be texted without notice. 

Hopefully she'll learn to get permission, from clients, BEFORE she texts in the future. 

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I'm not an expert but would recommend: get a P411 account (pay sending a money order, not your credit card) and use burner phone that you turn on only when needed and keep it hidden.

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Wait a minute,  you mean they save your phone/email info?      I thought this was all "discrete"

I guess that one providers warning to keep you info secure was all a bunch of baloney.  

So to recap,  NEVER give your personal info,   Never give your personal phone number.  Never give your personal email.  

ALWAYS use a burner phone number,  email, and never give the name of your employer.   

 

Though,  I have told certain provider that it is OK to contact me by email.    If I'm single it's nice to know when they are going to be in my area.    But I also let them know if I happen to be in a "vanilla relationship".   That way then know not to call/text.  

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9 hours ago, Kissit said:

So, you want to visit a provider. You don't have a P411 account, so you give her the names of other providers you've visited with. You give her your phone number so she can make sure you're legit, and that the providers you've given as references recognize your phone number as well. You visit with the provider, and have a grand ole time. A month later the provider comes back to town and decides to TEXT YOU OUT OF THE CLEAR BLUE..."Hey baby, it's me *****. I'm in town again. Would you like to get together?" I've been very lucky that others weren't around when the text came on my phone, but what the hell ladies? What are you thinking??? We wish you remain discreet and DON'T necessarily want you texting out of the clear blue! Anyone have similar problems like this?

First of all Sorry this happened to you.

It is so unprofessional to contact a client after you have had a meeting.

Who ever did this to you should know that Ladies do not "reach out" just to let a gentleman know that they are back in town.

Everyone has a private life, and the feeling you get in the gut when something happens like this is enough to make you feel a rumble! 

Plus some anxiety effect after...

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1 hour ago, frankenthaler91 said:

Wait a minute,  you mean they save your phone/email info?      I thought this was all "discrete"

I guess that one providers warning to keep you info secure was all a bunch of baloney.  

So to recap,  NEVER give your personal info,   Never give your personal phone number.  Never give your personal email.  

ALWAYS use a burner phone number,  email, and never give the name of your employer.   

 

Though,  I have told certain provider that it is OK to contact me by email.    If I'm single it's nice to know when they are going to be in my area.    But I also let them know if I happen to be in a "vanilla relationship".   That way then know not to call/text.  

 Saving information is not in contradiction with discreetness. Info is needed for references and you like to be remembered when you see a lady a second time right?

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It happens. It's why I love Pinger on android. I can turn off notifications. I'll still get the text, but there's no notice on my phone unless I open the ap. Ladies save numbers for a few reasons, one of which is to be your reference. It's bad form to text without permission, but you can't really control that. Buy a burner phone (they're cheap), or get an ap that you can turn off. Then it doesn't matter. 

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9 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

 Saving information is not in contradiction with discreetness. Info is needed for references and you like to be remembered when you see a lady a second time right?

Hey Lucy,  

I like that you keep a record so you can look it up and remember who I am. I'm a good guy, but an infrequent hobbyist and you would probably need something to remind you of who I am and how I treated you (and hopefully how much you also enjoyed the session as well ;) ). I'm just curious about what you do with that info. Are you old-school, just jotting things down on paper? Do you have a spreadsheet somewhere? Do you just leave it on your computer's desktop or do you use some kind of encryption to keep it safe? I'm really curious about security practices used in this industry.  There are some really powerful tools out there that we should all use, but I don't think many of us do.

 

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20 hours ago, Kissit said:

So, you want to visit a provider. You don't have a P411 account, so you give her the names of other providers you've visited with. You give her your phone number so she can make sure you're legit, and that the providers you've given as references recognize your phone number as well. You visit with the provider, and have a grand ole time. A month later the provider comes back to town and decides to TEXT YOU OUT OF THE CLEAR BLUE..."Hey baby, it's me *****. I'm in town again. Would you like to get together?" I've been very lucky that others weren't around when the text came on my phone, but what the hell ladies? What are you thinking??? We wish you remain discreet and DON'T necessarily want you texting out of the clear blue! Anyone have similar problems like this?

Once upon a time, you had a grand ole time with a travelling lady. Maybe such good a time that you expressed an interest in seeing her again upon some subsequent visit.  She then initiated contact upon her return.  Most certainly a faux pas, but hardly a sign of the apocalypse.  Who the hell's reading your text messages anyway?  . 

Edited by Happymon
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There are quite a few providers that do this. I think its bad form, but since you don't know who does and who doesn't, I'd follow the advice above. 

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I don't think unsolicited texts are the end of the world. Unless someone reads all of your texts before you do or someone sends you nudes. I think the professionalism or lack of it is kind of a gray area. I am of on the fence about it, sending an innocent text is much better than calling. Text is fairly discreet and if it's innocent all the more easy to pass it off as a mistake.  I randomly texted a client (who I knew was single) a few weeks after our first meeting and it turned into a 3 year and counting regular thing and I have visited him all over the country. But that first text kind of felt like cold calling, I genuinely wanted to say hello but didn't want to come off as asking for business.

If we glance over the other conversations about this we'll find guys who actually like it. There are many that partake that are single and a random text is only going to make their day better and not ruin it at all. Hell for some it's an instant half chub because a lady thought enough about him to reach out. I know a few guys that prefer me to reach out when I want to see them because they like they way it feels.

Is the real life awkwardness that makes this an issue or is it unwanted solicitation?

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23 hours ago, Kissit said:

 A month later the provider comes back to town and decides to TEXT YOU OUT OF THE CLEAR BLUE..."Hey baby, it's me *****. I'm in town again. Would you like to get together?" I've been very lucky that others weren't around when the text came on my phone

I've only had one provider do this, and she frequently travels between cities and I believe it is her way of drumming up business once she hits a city where she may have had regulars some time ago, but lost touch. I think my bigger concern was always LE getting ahold of her phone with my number in it. I started using systems like HUSHED for anonymity. I think it helps... recently started considering seeing ladies who generally require verification, but the process freaks me out a bit. Maybe I will figure out a way to make it work.

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14 hours ago, frankenthaler91 said:

Wait a minute,  you mean they save your phone/email info?      I thought this was all "discrete"

So to recap,  NEVER give your personal info,   Never give your personal phone number.  Never give your personal email.  

ALWAYS use a burner phone number,  email, and never give the name of your employer.   

 

 

So my biggest concern has been how do you see providers who require references, and verification without providing them personal information...? It's an impossibility. Sometimes you weigh the pros and cons, some women are beautiful and you're like "I want it, but not that bad!"

Edited by BadLeroyBrown
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On 4/24/2016 at 1:02 PM, Kissit said:

 Anyone have similar problems like this?

If a provider remembers me well enough to contact me, I will be a happy man.

...wishing I had your problems...

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4 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Unless someone reads all of your texts before you do or someone sends you nudes.

Maybe it's not the case that ALL texts are being read by the SO. But you just need that one text to be read by chance to detonate the crisis. Better not send unsolicited texts ;)

 

4 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

I randomly texted a client (who I knew was single) a few weeks after our first meeting

Sounds good, but if a guy is single today, that doesn't mean he will still be single in 2 weeks. He might have a new partner, maybe he met the love of his life in a bar a week ago. It's risky. In my opinion (I respect other opinions) it's better not to send unsolicited texts or calls.

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17 hours ago, frankenthaler91 said:

Wait a minute,  you mean they save your phone/email info?      I thought this was all "discrete"

I guess that one providers warning to keep you info secure was all a bunch of baloney

Give it rest already. Keeping phone number is assumed.

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As someone with a burner phone and no one snooping into my texts it brings a smile if a lady I enjoyed seeing liked me as a client enough to reach out and say " I am in town - see you again?" And yes, just business. Still feels good. If I was silly enough to use main phone and had snoopy SO, yeah, problem!

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If you use a hobby phone, this isn't an issue. It's only a text letting you know a provider is back in town and that she'd like to see you if you're available, not a national security threat.

If you use your personal phone for any of this, then you're just asking for a headache sooner or later.

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I've had it happen a few times, but I use a hobby phone...so no harm no foul. 

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Unless they've previously cleared it with you, it's completely unprofessional.

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Luckily, my SO knows all about my "hobby", so it's not an issue. I'm sure most single, and swinger, guys have no problem with these texts, either.

If you're married, and hiding this, you should be using a burner phone, or app, because some girl WILL text, or call, when you don't expect it.  That's my two cents! :)

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2 hours ago, frankenthaler91 said:

Thank you for your contribution. 

You are welcome.  But I think you know exactly what I meant.

You were right on about the burner phone btw.

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20 hours ago, Lawyer said:

Maybe it's not the case that ALL texts are being read by the SO. But you just need that one text to be read by chance to detonate the crisis. Better not send unsolicited texts ;)

 

Sounds good, but if a guy is single today, that doesn't mean he will still be single in 2 weeks. He might have a new partner, maybe he met the love of his life in a bar a week ago. It's risky. In my opinion (I respect other opinions) it's better not to send unsolicited texts or calls.

Maybe if someone has an SO reading all their texts there are trust issues. And it's possible that any questionable text could "detonate the crisis".

More and more clients, especially since the irksome hobby phone trend, are inviting the communication. So maybe as trends change it's time to change some behaviors. Maybe part of the communication before and after a session should include the texting after the fact talk. That way there aren't unsolicited texts.

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1 hour ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Maybe part of the communication before and after a session should include the texting after the fact talk. That way there aren't unsolicited texts.

I understand ideally from the providers standpoint why it would be advantageous to send these text, because it solicits business from someone you've already cleared/verified once before, but ultimately the entire reason most men seek providers essentially is because of their need for discretion, and lack of residual issues stemming from the contact. I really do not think it is ever in good taste to send these text. Truth be told if they wanted to see the provider again they would locate them again, just as they had done initially. No, after the fact text are needed... ever. One of those world oldest profession "unwritten rules".

Edited by BadLeroyBrown
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22 minutes ago, BadLeroyBrown said:

I understand ideally from the providers standpoint why it would be advantageous to send these text, because it solicits business from someone you've already cleared/verified once before, but ultimately the entire reason most men seek providers essentially is because of their need for discretion, and lack of residual issues stemming from the contact. I really do not think it is ever in good taste to send these text. Truth be told if they wanted to see the provider again they would locate them again, just as they had done initially. No, after the fact text are needed... ever. One of those world oldest profession "unwritten rules".

But times change, methods change. The old rules applied to the old times. We now have more ways to communicate than ever and the oldest profession is ever evolving.

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13 minutes ago, Lucy Kitten said:

But times change, methods change. The old rules applied to the old times. We now have more ways to communicate than ever and the oldest profession is ever evolving.

Yes, Lucy I agree the game has elevated to a whole different level these days, but ultimately, if a guy wanted to hear from a woman after the fact couldn't he just go date regularly? I know there are other reasons for the client/provider relationship, but yeah... discretion is not texting me mid day when you have no idea where I am or who I'm around to say "hey this is Becca I'm back in town, here's my new number"  some guys SO's are special investigators and a phone number alone can be more than enough to close a "case

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I actually keep up with my cliental, not that I send out of the blue messages... If I come across someone that is a potential regular I like to store them for the next time we met.That way I'm not asking "What Is your name again"....

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1 hour ago, BadLeroyBrown said:

 discretion is not texting me mid day when you have no idea where I am or who I'm around to say "hey this is Becca I'm back in town, here's my new number"  some guys SO's are special investigators and a phone number alone can be more than enough to close a "case

You've just made the case for a hobby/burner phone if you're a man and want to participate in this biz at all. Get a burner phone. Keep it in a secure location, preferably away from your SO, turn it on and off at your discretion since a hobby phone doesn't need to be on 24/7...only when you want to hobby. It won't matter who sends you a message or when the message arrives because you control when you turn it on/off.

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