The Dirty Talk Challenge

[Guest]

The statement was made in another thread by another poster that he doubted it would be possible to find ladies who talked dirty, even though they advertised as such.   I said I could pick 10 ladies I had never seen before, after research, and score a 10 out of 10 in dirty talkers.  

I accept said challenge.  I will post my results in this thread over the course of the year:  Counting March....10 months left in the year.  10 ladies to sample.

As I post reviews, you can find out which ladies I "sampled."   If I prove myself correct, I will expect the poster who made this challenge to come into this thread, and admit in full Monty Python style, that "his mother was a hamster, and his father smelt of elderberries."

Now, dirty talk is a lot like beauty....it exists in the eye (or ear) of the beholder.   But, I think we all agree that "put your penis in my vagina, sir" would not constitute dirty talk.  

Unless, perhaps, the line was delivered by Scarlett Johansen.....in a thick British accent.....as she licked her lips and then ripped open her bodice.

<sigh>           Wait....what were we talking about?   Oh yes.

See what I'm getting at?  How dirty the talk is will be as much a function of context as the actual words that are said.

But, we'll see.   I will attempt to discuss what is said in the review, and whether or not I felt a need to wash the Young Lady's mouth out with soap.

Searching in P411 for Denver only, I see 250 providers listed today.  Of these, only 107 state in their profiles that they are a "dirty talker".   Which begs the question:  What the hell are you other 143 ladies talking about during sex?  Your King Soopers shopping list???

I will contact via my P411 account, which makes no mention of "Laplace."  However, listed in the details of my profile is a mention of a preference for scandalous talk.   This is about as fair and as "blind" as I can make the test.

 

Let the games begin.

 

Edited March 12, 2016 by Laplace

[Bit Banger]

Down here in the RGV, "Oh Papi" {in a breathy voice} counts.

[inkspot]

33 minutes ago, Laplace said:

The statement was made in another thread by another poster that he doubted it would be possible to find ladies who talked dirty, even though they advertised as such.   I said I could pick 10 ladies I had never seen before, after research, and score a 10 out of 10 in dirty talkers.  

I accept said challenge.  I will post my results in this thread over the course of the year:  Counting March....10 months left in the year.  10 ladies to sample.

As I post reviews, you can find out which ladies I "sampled."   If I prove myself correct, I will expect the poster who made this challenge to come into this thread, and admit in full Monty Python style, that "his mother was a hamster, and his father smelt of elderberries."

Now, dirty talk is a lot like beauty....it exists in the eye (or ear) of the beholder.   But, I think we all agree that "put your penis in my vagina, sir" would not constitute dirty talk.  

Unless, perhaps, the line was delivered by Scarlett Johansen.....in a thick British accent.....as she licked her lips and then ripped open her bodice.

<sigh>           Wait....what were we talking about?   Oh yes.

See what I'm getting at?  How dirty the talk is will be as much a function of context as the actual words that are said.

But, we'll see.   I will attempt to discuss what is said in the review, and whether or not I felt a need to wash the Young Lady's mouth out with soap.

Searching in P411 for Denver only, I see 250 providers listed today.  Of these, only 107 state in their profiles that they are a "dirty talker".   Which begs the question:  What the hell are you other 143 ladies talking about during sex?  Your King Soopers shopping list???

I will contact via my P411 account, which makes no mention of "Laplace."  However, listed in the details of my profile is a mention of a preference for scandalous talk.   This is about as fair and as "blind" as I can make the test.

 

Let the games begin.

 

Me thinks someone has too much time on their hands.

[Guest]

A lovely lady I have seen multiple times has a voice that is so sexy that she could say "Hello" and you feel like you just heard Jenna Jamison rape you verbally.  I am pretty sure she is one of your 107 ladies as well.  Good luck finding her!  

[Just Jos]

2 hours ago, Laplace said:

The statement was made in another thread by another poster that he doubted it would be possible to find ladies who talked dirty, even though they advertised as such.   I said I could pick 10 ladies I had never seen before, after research, and score a 10 out of 10 in dirty talkers.  

I accept said challenge.  I will post my results in this thread over the course of the year:  Counting March....10 months left in the year.  10 ladies to sample.

As I post reviews, you can find out which ladies I "sampled."   If I prove myself correct, I will expect the poster who made this challenge to come into this thread, and admit in full Monty Python style, that "his mother was a hamster, and his father smelt of elderberries."

Now, dirty talk is a lot like beauty....it exists in the eye (or ear) of the beholder.   But, I think we all agree that "put your penis in my vagina, sir" would not constitute dirty talk.  

Unless, perhaps, the line was delivered by Scarlett Johansen.....in a thick British accent.....as she licked her lips and then ripped open her bodice.

<sigh>           Wait....what were we talking about?   Oh yes.

See what I'm getting at?  How dirty the talk is will be as much a function of context as the actual words that are said.

But, we'll see.   I will attempt to discuss what is said in the review, and whether or not I felt a need to wash the Young Lady's mouth out with soap.

Searching in P411 for Denver only, I see 250 providers listed today.  Of these, only 107 state in their profiles that they are a "dirty talker".   Which begs the question:  What the hell are you other 143 ladies talking about during sex?  Your King Soopers shopping list???

I will contact via my P411 account, which makes no mention of "Laplace."  However, listed in the details of my profile is a mention of a preference for scandalous talk.   This is about as fair and as "blind" as I can make the test.

 

Let the games begin.

 

Dirty talk is so hit or miss with me. Sometimes I feel like a dirty slut, sometimes I don't. 🙀 Perhaps that's why I think the only activity listed on my p411 (I think) is ymmv. 

I will say that if a gentlemen is booking w me, and looking for something specific, I would hope that he would reiterate the importance of that to me so that I can bring my A-game and adjust our date accordingly. 💋 

I think that most of the women here are capable of going from fancy to filthy - real fuckin quick - if you Communicate your desires 💜 

[Guest]

17 minutes ago, Just Jos said:

Dirty talk is so hit or miss with me. Sometimes I feel like a dirty slut, sometimes I don't. 🙀 Perhaps that's why I think the only activity listed on my p411 (I think) is ymmv. 

I will say that if a gentlemen is booking w me, and looking for something specific, I would hope that he would reiterate the importance of that to me so that I can bring my A-game and adjust our date accordingly. 💋 

I think that most of the women here are capable of going from fancy to filthy - real fuckin quick - if you Communicate your desires 💜 

This is the point I was trying to make.  Thank you so much for highlighting it.   But.....

2 hours ago, inkspot said:

Me thinks someone has too much time on their hands.

Yeah, I would have had a whole year to do it, but you are right in pointing out that I am getting a bit too swept up into the spirit of the debate.

What's worse, I may have to turn in my PHD in Thinkology.  I did not think this through well enough.  This seemed like a really good, fun idea at first, but I have received several private communications pointing out why this may be a bad idea.   So, my apologies to everyone for having wasted bandwidth on this.  I will think more and talk less in the future.

 

mmmmm........crow..........

[fishndude57]

51 minutes ago, Laplace said:

This is the point I was trying to make.  Thank you so much for highlighting it.   But.....

Yeah, I would have had a whole year to do it, but you are right in pointing out that I am getting a bit too swept up into the spirit of the debate.

What's worse, I may have to turn in my PHD in Thinkology.  I did not think this through well enough.  This seemed like a really good, fun idea at first, but I have received several private communications pointing out why this may be a bad idea.   So, my apologies to everyone for having wasted bandwidth on this.  I will think more and talk less in the future.

 

mmmmm........crow..........

Oh mercy, if I had a dollar for every time I opened mouth, inserted foot, I'd challenge Donald Chump for presidency. Not at all a waste of bandwidth. I know of several that would foot your bill, not gonna share tho.

[Guest]

I can only dirty talk when the mood is right, for a lot of women it can be very awkward if it's not under the right circumstances.  I look forward to watching you crush him though. :-)

[Guest]

11 minutes ago, SpiceInCo said:

I can only dirty talk when the mood is right, for a lot of women it can be very awkward if it's not under the right circumstances.  I look forward to watching you crush him though. :-)

LOL!  For certain men it can be awkward as well...

Excuse me miss, would you mind if I put my penis in your vagina, you naughty little girl! 

Edited March 13, 2016 by Riggo

[Bit Banger]

I don't think you need to eat too much crow, Laplace. Your 1/month was a decent working plan. 1/day, now that might be stretching it. 

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

I don't think you need to eat too much crow, Laplace. Your 1/month was a decent working plan. 1/day, now that might be stretching it. 

And think of the benefits to the hooker economy if he didn't hit number 10 until the 104th lady... There was nothing but good to come from this attempt other than the slight ding to his retirement fund.

[geecue2]

3 hours ago, Just Jos said:

. Sometimes I feel like a dirty slut, sometimes I don't. 🙀  

[Everhard]

I saw an interview with a porn star once (we can discuss why I was listening to her talk vs. other activities later). She said she was really bad at dirty talk until she realized she just needed to describe what was going on. If you think about it, she is absolutely right. It both made me much better at dirty talk and ruined it for me at the same time....

[Laci French]

Let the games begin

[Madame Web]

25 minutes ago, everhard-3488 said:

I saw an interview with a porn star once (we can discuss why I was listening to her talk vs. other activities later). She said she was really bad at dirty talk until she realized she just needed to describe what was going on. If you think about it, she is absolutely right. It both made me much better at dirty talk and ruined it for me at the same time....

That's a great tip! 
I can only dirty talk if I'm being sarcastic and have no interest in sex. Total fail on the wiring mechanism in my brain. 

[Guest]

The problem with dirty talk is that, if you say the wrong thing, you can go from hero to zero in about a second. Very hard to recover if you've just called a girl a lying cheap slut sex poodle, and like, her poodle died that week or something.

[Guest]

I'm just saying, being in the medical field. I say penis and vagina which isn't incredible sexy. I'm like a an immature giggler  when I try and say "cock" lol. It feels so unnatural. 

[fishndude57]

I have a rather tough time too. I like being polite.  Don't think I'll ever get past that. Like most men, I am better at putting feelings down on paper than verbally.

[Guest]

28 minutes ago, SpiceInCo said:

I'm just saying, being in the medical field. I say penis and vagina which isn't incredible sexy. I'm like a an immature giggler  when I try and say "cock" lol. It feels so unnatural. 

Awesome Spice! I suffer from lay person syndrome also.

I had a client try and question my "real" life profession during sex. (as if I was lying or something, escorts never do that)

He asked, "If I knew the real name for the taint?"

In my best blonde accent I said, "perineum". I then gave him a BJ that sounded like you were in the dirtiest A&P class ever! Vas deferens sounds sexy, but I think that is because it sounds French.

Seriously, if I get a doctor/client that starts dirty talking in medical terminology that is so HOT!

 

[Guest]

That reminds me of an appt I had recently when when was an ER doctor and we kept stopping to talk about work hahaha.  I could have picked that man's brain the whole session lmao. 

[pejo]

4 hours ago, SpiceInCo said:

I'm just saying, being in the medical field. I say penis and vagina which isn't incredible sexy. I'm like a an immature giggler  when I try and say "cock" lol. It feels so unnatural. 

Hearing a grown woman giggle every time she said "cock" would be pretty cool, actually.

[BadBoy]

Especially if she said it a lot!

[ajot]

Hey don't worry, you have months to go of inserting your foot in mouth! Though feel free to change it up if you need to. The actual point was that most girls are advertising a bunch of stuff on P411 and other places that they don't know they are! 

To not put your foot in your mouth as much you could just give a general monthly summary haha. (At least I'm guessing that's what the pm's are about - or I'm really missing something.) 

Feel free to keep to good standards though! Very preferable! Certainly better than letting some girls get away with thinking that they are naughty dirty talking if they say the word "moist." (Seriously, I know girls who think even saying moist towelette is using a dirty word!)

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, ajot said:

Hey don't worry, you have months to go of inserting your foot in mouth! Though feel free to change it up if you need to. The actual point was that most girls are advertising a bunch of stuff on P411 and other places that they don't know they are!

I was with a lady last week and I told her that sadly in our first few appointments I had ignored her p411 likes and I said I would worship her feet.  She said "Oh no!  I will kick out your teeth because my feet are so ticklish".  I gave her the "O_o" look and said, "But on p411 you said Foot Fetish was a big thing".  She looked at me and said "Really?  I need to change that then!"... Women... Go figure!

Edited March 16, 2016 by Riggo

[Guest]

I am horrible at dirt talk, but given the chance, I can write such naughtiness that would make the most perverted man cum in his pants. 

[Guest]

16 minutes ago, Melissa Sterling said:

I am horrible at dirt talk, but given the chance, I can write such naughtiness that would make the most perverted man cum in his pants. 

Share please! 

[gr8owl]

18 minutes ago, Melissa Sterling said:

I am horrible at dirt talk, but given the chance, I can write such naughtiness that would make the most perverted man cum in his pants. 

I think we are all game if you want to call here and now your "chance" LOL

[Guest]

I think that's one of my faults too. I am the queen of sexting, I can come up with stories that make "50 shades of grey" look like child's play, boom jizz in the pants, but getting me the say it.... all I can say is...

 

 

 

PENIS!!! 

[Jez UaBriain]

It would seem too many people spend to much time time talking, and not enough time doing. Just saying.

[Everhard]

I find that describing the effect that the woman is having on me is one of the more effective ways to dirty talk. While inside of her, gently whispering how hard I am because of her body, her mind, her moves. That she is the one who is making me this hard and telling her what is happening to me is simple honesty and exciting. Have had a woman cum just from describing what I was feeling because of her.