Booger-Eating Morons

[Guest]

Yeah, Mister.  I'm probably talking about you.  A typical ad viewing session by the BEMs who walk among us, after a long day of shovelling shit at the manure factory:

<fap fap fap fap fap>  "oooooh geeze look suzy's got new tit pics up!"  <fap fap fap fap fap> "ooooh geeze look at her ass!" <fap fap fap fap fap> "oooh look shes got a 250 special up!"  <goes through wife's purse and finds 220....adds ten crumpled ones from his own pocket> "YES!"  <BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP>    {editors note: what follows could just as easily occur via text or email}

Suzy: <best slightly breathy and sexy yet professional voice> "Hello!"

BEM: <fap fap fap fap fap> "Hey"

Suzy: "May I help you?"

BEM: <fap fap fap fap fap>  "Yeah! You busy tonight?"

Suzy: "I might have an opening" <giggles> "What time were you interested in?"

BEM: <fapfapfapfapfapfapfap> "Do you do blowjobs? I really want a blowjob!  No Condom!"

Suzy: <facepalm....but continues on doggedly> "What time were you wanting?  And do you have references?"

BEM: <fap fap fap fap fap> "Yeah, I got references."

Suzy: <idly doodling with her free hand...it's a stick man> "Can you give me their names and contact info?  And what time were you interested in?

BEM: <fap fap fap fap fap> "Saw her on Back page last year.  Ivanna something.  Whats your address?  I could probaby be there in 15 minutes!!" <FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP>

Suzy: <draws a large knife in the head of the stickman>

 

Gentlemen, lets review a typical ad. Together. Pick one. I know that you want to linger on those boobs, legs, and asses that appear at the top of the ad.  But, there's more!  Really! If you look down below the pictures, you will see a bunch of funny-looking marks.  These marks are called "WRITING."  Writing was invented by the human race so that we could convey thoughts and ideas, and leave them in a permanent place, for other human beings to understand them.  YES!!!  It's true!

All those funny looking marks? That lady is actually trying to tell you something about herself.  You may like what she has to say! You may not!  You should stay away from the ladies who write things you don't like.  This is called "being a wise consumer."

Look further into her "writing."  There you will find something called "instructions."  Instructions are a secret code that the lady has placed into her ad.  On purpose!  This secret code, when followed carefully, will actually result in your meeting with the same lady in the pictures.  You will probably even be able to place your peepee.....your very own real live weiner!.....into her mouth or vagina.  And she will SMILE! Seriously!  Dude.....it's happened to me!  All you have to do is look at her "instructions" and learn how to follow them!  It's like a treasure hunt!

Give it a try!

 

Now, we have seen a lot of guys post stuff about liking ladies, and maybe the ladies liking them (or not) back.  Some have complained about having to "please" a lady.  Others complain about not being able to "please" a lady.

Dudes!  Seriously! Look at what the lady likes. Remember? It is in those funny marks beneath the pictures of her tits.  Yeah!  The writing!  Other guys have written stuff about the lady, too!

But here's where it gets hard.  This is why ordinary looking guys like me have wonderful hot, sexy, sessions time and time again, while you are still hung up on whether or not she should like her, or bother to try and make her cum.

 

I think.  I have a doctorate in thinkology. So when I read what a lady has written about herself, or others have written about her, I put it all together AND I THINK ABOUT IT! YES!  Thinking about the stuff in all this writing BEFORE I call a lady actually gives me better, hotter, and more frequent sex than most of the poor, dumb, sons-o-bitches that seem to stumble around this place like drooling zombies!

For example,  I LIKE trying to make ladies cum. Whether or not I am good at it is a secret the ladies will take to their graves. So, I read.  When a lady starts an entire thread about how she didn't get to cum because the guy popped in a BJ.....this lady is using "writing" to convey an idea.  I think about it.  This lady likes to cum.  I like to make ladies cum.  This might be a good lady to call.  If you don't like making ladies cum and just want to bust a nut, this would be a bad lady to see. See how thinking works?

Another example.  I prefer to have sex with ladies I like. It really helps if I think they like me, too.  So, I read.  If a lady uses "writing" to convey the idea that she likes to form "connections," I think about it. She would be a good lady to see.  If you don't like the idea of a provider showing real or feigned attraction for you, or will obsess over whether it IS real or feigned, this would be a bad lady to see. See how thinking works?

Reading.  Thinking.

All you booger-eating morons should give it a try once in a while.

[Guest]

Where's the TLDR version? 

[Guest]

Q.E.D. ?

[fishndude57]

Personally I read the writing of every ad. It really gives me comfort in my freedom of selection. While it'd be great to see all ladies, I have to be realistic and know that some will not want to see me. I try and give the ladies all the information they want as far as screening. I never ask about menus, fees or anything that they have made plain and simple in their ads by supplying info, or just in plain language...don't ask, it's improper to ask in that fashion. I've never asked for and never will ask for a discount...gimme a break. Personally I always try and be on my best behavior. You never know when you might need a reference, and honestly references help. I've never had to provide the name and number of a reference yet, but the screening info I supply is always complete and up to date. So far, this attitude has served me well, only 1 bad experience to date, and I was still polite on exit. I'd like to think I get it and it's why when I've asked I've also been able to see someone more than once. It's not rocket science, and I don't get the jerks, but I'm hearing of one even as I type this. Oh well off to fish.

[Guest]

My God here's a huge high five.  Nothing is more obnoxious than being contacted non stop by booger eating mongers. 

 

Here's actual stats. 

I am only going to mention two examples. 

The two biggest things I mention:

I need 24 hours notice!

I am not newbie friendly, you must have references.  

 

I just pulled up my app and went through the last 10 conversations. 

8/10 were either newbs, or didn't have references. 

One had references but wanted an appt an hour from contact. 

This is a normal everyday deal.  It is obnoxious and wastes so much time.  I knew that mongers were only looking at pics so I even turned one of my pics into a meme that says "don't waste our time, read the "blank" ( I am not advertising, what I am saying is pertinent to this conversation) 

Apparently even that doesn't work.  

[Guest]

28 minutes ago, Laplace said:

Q.E.D. ?

Sarcasm font didn't work I see.  When appealing to knuckle dragging booger eating morons who can't read and comprehend a single paragraph in an ad, short and sweet might be a better option.

[Guest]

http://

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, Kashmir said:

http://

Oh my gawd.   That just hurts.

 

My sides, that is!  LMAO.

[pejo]

8 hours ago, Laplace said:

Writing was invented by the human race so that we could convey thoughts and ideas, and leave them in a permanent place, for other human beings to understand them.  YES!!!  It's true!

. . .

Reading.  Thinking.

But my dick gets really tired if it has to read all those words. And it gave up on thinking long ago.

[BadBoy]

7 hours ago, SpiceInCo said:

My God here's a huge high five.  Nothing is more obnoxious than being contacted non stop by booger eating mongers. 

 

Here's actual stats. 

I am only going to mention two examples. 

The two biggest things I mention:

I need 24 hours notice!

I am not newbie friendly, you must have references.  

 

I just pulled up my app and went through the last 10 conversations. 

8/10 were either newbs, or didn't have references. 

One had references but wanted an appt an hour from contact. 

This is a normal everyday deal.  It is obnoxious and wastes so much time.  I knew that mongers were only looking at pics so I even turned one of my pics into a meme that says "don't waste our time, read the "blank" ( I am not advertising, what I am saying is pertinent to this conversation) 

Apparently even that doesn't work.  

Since the last thing I want to talk about with a young lady is "the life," I guess I have remained pretty clueless throughout the years.  I knew that you ladies had to put up with some Booger Eating Mongers ("BEMs"), but I had no idea that the proportion was so high.  I guess the only thing I can say is: "As the unanimously elected spokesman for my entire sex, I deeply and sincerely apologize for the BEMs among us who harass and waste your time."  Speaking only for myself I would add that I thank you for continuing to put up with this stuff, so that I can come see you.  Stick with it, there is gold among the dross.

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Badboy said:

Since the last thing I want to talk about with a young lady is "the life," I guess I have remained pretty clueless throughout the years.  I knew that you ladies had to put up with some Booger Eating Mongers ("BEMs"), but I had no idea that the proportion was so high.  I guess the only thing I can say is: "As the unanimously elected spokesman for my entire sex, I deeply and sincerely apologize for the BEMs among us who harass and waste your time."  Speaking only for myself I would add that I thank you for continuing to put up with this stuff, so that I can come see you.  Stick with it, there is gold among the dross.

 

This is the crap we get.  Effing BEM

[BadBoy]

How could you possibly pass up a chance to spend time with "a legit playa," with a black light saber in my paints."

My guess is that Damien is a 23-year old pimple-faced, skinny white kid who has never visited a real woman and who gets off on sending abusive e=mails.  Would I be wrong?

Damn, I almost want to see that "black light saber."

[Guest]

Let's bait and switch him so you can see it hahaha

[boink36]

I had a little chuckle reading this thread. we have providers who advertise when they post every day on the forum even though the rules clearly say it's not allowed. it looks like the clients might not be the only people who just look at the pictures. 

[Guest]

I am curious how what I have posted is considered advertising.  It's within the scope of the conversation we are having.  I haven't ranted or raved about myself nor said to do anything I can get snipped for.  He was talking about BEM, I was participating in the conversation. 

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, SpiceInCo said:

I am curious how what I have posted is considered advertising.  It's within the scope of the conversation we are having.  I haven't ranted or raved about myself nor said to do anything I can get snipped for.  He was talking about BEM, I was participating in the conversation. 

I don't think Boink was directing that at you specifically. 

[ajot]

Since I'm bored an no one else seems to feel like speaking up to your being a white knight, I'll take on the task.

First off, it IS absolutely ridiculous that you get stupid harassing emails Spice. It sucks. But I'd also say it's a great thing because you can easily weed out the morons just like I weed out all of the spam messages I get for fake pills. Its far better you weed them out at the email or the text stage than later on when they either stand you up or try to short you on leaving.

Now let's break down your bullshit (for fun, cause I honestly don't give a fuck):

"I think.  I have a doctorate in thinkology. So when I read what a lady has written about herself, or others have written about her, I put it all together AND I THINK ABOUT IT! YES!  Thinking about the stuff in all this writing BEFORE I call a lady actually gives me better, hotter, and more frequent sex than most of the poor, dumb, sons-o-bitches that seem to stumble around this place like drooling zombies! "

On that I'd say, no, no it doesn't get you laid more. Go off to an internet forum on how to pick up chicks from a dating site and that might be it. What is getting you laid more is either 1. Funds, 2. enough of 1 and a mix of not being a complete moron in communicating with her. But as you don't note in your discussion, she might still stick around and say she's available in a few hours or tomorrow - and then it still happens even with the bullshit. Why? Because of the fact that the women here are not on Ashley Madison, a dating site, or at a bar waiting for you.

Certainly your goal should NOT be to leave her unsatisfied. I'm certainly happy to try out whatever she has in mind to make her have a great time as well. Who ever has problems with the other is certainly welcome to vent a bit on the forums if there is an accidental or an intentional lack of satisfaction (though some of those certainly can get far from professional from either party!). 

But don't be mistaken that no one fakes it. Whether it be spouse, stripper, escort, or just the barista, there's a monetary incentive to make you feel good and get in your mind. I have a friend that tried stripping for a short time and made a killing - not from the stripping, but from the mind fucks being polite and pretending to care. Search this forum or the ones I can't name, and there are plenty of escorts out there that are fine with guys trying to get them off a bit but would rather they just move on and stop killing the mood cause it just won't happen! Yet a smart gal will always stroke your ego more than anything else.

Certainly connecting with a girl is always going to have a more passionate time. I see plenty of ads discussing fine wines they like, and I certainly don't see any ad that flatly says "I'm stupid and don't want to talk to you." It's all about fantasy. And the ones that talk about those things have hooked YOU with their writing instead of their pictures. So go for those, the same as some of the guys that like bigger girls, or the guys that want a tiny girl with big boobs.

Sure, she might not like to see you as much as someone she gets along with better, or drop what she's doing, but that's most likely the case unless you randomly are great with her (which, lets face it, you're probably not in reality). And a good lady will fake the connection to get more business unless she REALLY doesn't like you!

Though for all of my long rant, there IS one excellent point we should all take away from this: If you see a lady, no matter how much you might donate for the privilege, if she is the type to post about you leaving her unsatisfied, you'd damn well better satisfy her or not go see her! 

And that people really shouldn't be rude in contacting a gal, but there are some real dumb ones out there that just harass sadly.

 

Now, go ahead and flame back, irrespective of whether you're stable or unstable at the moment! 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, SpiceInCo said:

Let's bait and switch him so you can see it hahaha

Oh I love these kinds of guys. hahahah come on over punk. Lets just say....."slip and accidentally fuck him in the ass, no lube." Oh I'm sorry, that was my $175 rate punk.  

 

 

Edited March 11, 2016 by Nikki Holiday

[boink36]

12 minutes ago, SpiceInCo said:

I am curious how what I have posted is considered advertising.  It's within the scope of the conversation we are having.  I haven't ranted or raved about myself nor said to do anything I can get snipped for.  He was talking about BEM, I was participating in the conversation. 

Who said you were advertising?

[Buddy Glass]

I give this an A for pandering. It's a whole lot of words used to say 'Check the ad'. People already on this forum are going to be better about booking, for the most part, so I'm not really sure what's driving the effort behind the essay. We could delve into the caveats, though. Some guys (myself included) aren't on fixed schedules, so our own availability may not be apparent 4 days from now. I've often called to book a few hours in advance and been offered an appointment 'right now'. Ads aren't strict rules as this post presents them. No texting! But the lady texts you after the call goes to voicemail. Prebook! But come over now. And,  he biggest one I've noticed, the total absence of screening, even among advocates here, who include it in their ads.

There are a ton of assholes out there. It isn't gender specific. Providers and clients both pull no shows. Both ask too many questions at times. And both have occasionally stupid ideas of what a rate should be. Some guys see a girl is well established with all perfect reviews and think  it should be $100 an hour! And some girls think that, even though they are new with no reviews, $500 is the intro rate.*

Most issues could be solved by screening. Guys can get on something like P411, and women could actually screen. Yeah, I know, every reply will say "I screen!" but it seems to be a step that's skipped far, far, far more often than it's actually used. 

 

*I don't argue rates. If it seems unreasonable, I move on. I have no say in your rate, price the service how you see fit. I'll pay, or not, as it fits with my concept of the value of the service. People are priceless; service has a value.

[Guest]

I ASSumed  me since I was 1 of 2 ladies in the convo, and the other one only posyed a pic, and you mentioned  you chuckled  while reading the convo. If I'm wrong, we'll I'm naturally blonde, and I apologize.  

[Guest]

1 hour ago, SpiceInCo said:

 

This is the crap we get.  Effing BEM

I don't know what happen. But my last comment was for this post. 

 

10 minutes ago, Nikki Holiday said:

Oh I love these kinds of guys. hahahah come on over punk. Lets just say....."slip and accidentally fuck him in the ass, no lube." Oh I'm sorry, that was my $175 rate punk.  

 

 

 

[ajot]

20 minutes ago, SpiceInCo said:

I ASSumed  me since I was 1 of 2 ladies in the convo, and the other one only posyed a pic, and you mentioned  you chuckled  while reading the convo. If I'm wrong, we'll I'm naturally blonde, and I apologize.  

I think he was just saying in general there are plenty of girls that come on to this site and others, try posting all sorts of seemingly "high I'm new in town" but really trying to spam ads in the forums (though I've seen it more elsewhere). Just indicates that they aren't reading anything.

23 minutes ago, Buddy Glass said:

I give this an A for pandering. It's a whole lot of words used to say 'Check the ad'. People already on this forum are going to be better about booking, for the most part, so I'm not really sure what's driving the effort behind the essay. We could delve into the caveats, though. Some guys (myself included) aren't on fixed schedules, so our own availability may not be apparent 4 days from now. I've often called to book a few hours in advance and been offered an appointment 'right now'. Ads aren't strict rules as this post presents them. No texting! But the lady texts you after the call goes to voicemail. Prebook! But come over now. And,  he biggest one I've noticed, the total absence of screening, even among advocates here, who include it in their ads.

There are a ton of assholes out there. It isn't gender specific. Providers and clients both pull no shows. Both ask too many questions at times. And both have occasionally stupid ideas of what a rate should be. Some guys see a girl is well established with all perfect reviews and think  it should be $100 an hour! And some girls think that, even though they are new with no reviews, $500 is the intro rate.*

Most issues could be solved by screening. Guys can get on something like P411, and women could actually screen. Yeah, I know, every reply will say "I screen!" but it seems to be a step that's skipped far, far, far more often than it's actually used. 

 

*I don't argue rates. If it seems unreasonable, I move on. I have no say in your rate, price the service how you see fit. I'll pay, or not, as it fits with my concept of the value of the service. People are priceless; service has a value.

Fully agree on all this. I will just skip a girl rather than tell her that her rate is too high. Though I have had many other providers laugh WITH me over crazy rates some new girls will post and wonder why they don't get any interest! 

And I absolutely have something like 75% or more of the girls I see or try to contact directly and completely put a lie to something they say in their ad. Most of the time it's not a big deal, just kinda a laugh. A bit more annoying when it gets into specific things they've marked OK in their p411 profile and get horrified when mentioned on meeting. Though I think I've only ever had a few times where it's a real issue - but that makes it worse

[Guest]

29 minutes ago, ajot said:

Since I'm bored......

Now, go ahead and flame back, irrespective of whether you're stable or unstable at the moment! 

Why would I flame you?  Other than questioning the frequency of my sexual activities, you pretty much regurgitated everything I said!  You get extra points for reading comprehension!

(FWIW....I'm getting laid again tomorrow.)

21 minutes ago, Buddy Glass said:

I give this an A for pandering. It's a whole lot of words used to say 'Check the ad'. People already on this forum are going to be better about booking, .......

There are a ton of assholes out there. It isn't gender specific......

Two valid points. 

1) Maybe the catchy title will get a few visiting miscreants to read and change their ways.  I just one BEM becomes a gentleman, its worth it.

2) Yes  everybody does it.  No, that doesn't make it ok.

 

Call me a white knight.  I don't care.  Just don't call me late for tomorrows date.

[fishndude57]

 

2 hours ago, SpiceInCo said:

 

This is the crap we get.  Effing BEM

I was chatting with one of the ladies in person today over lunch when her text went off, actually it was going crazy pretty much all through lunch anyway, she's rather popular. This is literally the same she got from a repeat client. I couldn't believe it either. That dude's ass is still burnin after her scorching reply I bet, and 've gotta feeling he's not gonna be welcomed back soon. She showed me text and reply, he tried to apologize and that just made it worse.

Edited March 11, 2016 by fishndude57
Forgot a few words

[Guest]

I'll spare mine and his reply, but pretty much the same situation.  

[Buddy Glass]

2 hours ago, ajot said:

I think he was just saying in general there are plenty of girls that come on to this site and others, try posting all sorts of seemingly "high I'm new in town" but really trying to spam ads in the forums (though I've seen it more elsewhere). Just indicates that they aren't reading anything.

Fully agree on all this. I will just skip a girl rather than tell her that her rate is too high. Though I have had many other providers laugh WITH me over crazy rates some new girls will post and wonder why they don't get any interest! 

And I absolutely have something like 75% or more of the girls I see or try to contact directly and completely put a lie to something they say in their ad. Most of the time it's not a big deal, just kinda a laugh. A bit more annoying when it gets into specific things they've marked OK in their p411 profile and get horrified when mentioned on meeting. Though I think I've only ever had a few times where it's a real issue - but that makes it worse

Yeah, there's a ton of bullshit out there. Then you show up up and she's all "Oh no honey, I don't do that!" even when it's clearly in her profile/ad. They figure that once you've knocked on the door you're not going to leave. 

The other ones that get me are the ones who heavily market on their 'porn' career. Could be I've just had some bad luck, but those have always been subpar experiences for me. 

For fun, we should count the no review, 300+ rate club. I wonder if there's been a recent influx, or if I'm just noticing it more.

[Guest]

44 minutes ago, Buddy Glass said:

Yeah, there's a ton of bullshit out there. Then you show up up and she's all "Oh no honey, I don't do that!" even when it's clearly in her profile/ad. They figure that once you've knocked on the door you're not going to leave. 

The other ones that get me are the ones who heavily market on their 'porn' career. Could be I've just had some bad luck, but those have always been subpar experiences for me. 

For fun, we should count the no review, 300+ rate club. I wonder if there's been a recent influx, or if I'm just noticing it more.

I just don't get it.  I can honestly say I've been with over 40 different ASPs in the last 5 years, and I have NEVER experienced this.  Never.

The "worst" experience I had was early in my career: a lady who suggested my time was up after I came 30 minutes into an hour session.  Yep.  My fault.  She was a good provider, but the clues were all there in the "writing":  she was 3G.

Other than that one time, I have NEVER been refused anything I requested, if it was on the menu. In some cases, on return visits, I have been offered some things that were "not on the menu."

Oh, I've only seen one provider who had also done porn: [Snip}.  She was fabulous, and a real bargain to boot.  Again, I am not understanding your results.

I'm not handsome.  Or rich. Or well hung. Or young.  How do you explain this wide variation in results between you and I?

 

 

Edited March 11, 2016 by boink36
Shilling removed.

[pfunk]

9 hours ago, Laplace said:

I'm not handsome.  Or rich. Or well hung. Or young.  How do you explain this wide variation in results between you and I?

Too many guys think with their dick, and ignore the warning signs. No reviews. Claim to be a porn star, but don't have any links to their work. Are visiting with "friends". Great pics, almost TGTBT, with nothing to show good service. 

You and I are more concerned with having a great time, rather than seeing the visiting "super hottie". That's why we miss the letdowns.

The other explanation, for some guys, is that they are rude morons, and don't even know it. They say stupid stuff, act entitled, and wonder why they get bad service. Again, they don't even realize how insulting they act. 

[ajot]

13 hours ago, Buddy Glass said:

Yeah, there's a ton of bullshit out there. Then you show up up and she's all "Oh no honey, I don't do that!" even when it's clearly in her profile/ad. They figure that once you've knocked on the door you're not going to leave. 

The other ones that get me are the ones who heavily market on their 'porn' career. Could be I've just had some bad luck, but those have always been subpar experiences for me. 

For fun, we should count the no review, 300+ rate club. I wonder if there's been a recent influx, or if I'm just noticing it more.

I think it's partially the recent influx. It happened a year or two ago and I was talking about it with the first gal I saw here then. Some that are new just think they're better and can get more than the current ones, but don't understand service and reviews matter. They adjust prices after a bit - or get reviews showing they are worth it. And it all depends on where they came from. Some places in Florida and Texas are lower, places like NY and CA are higher, so they've pegged the basic rate to there even if they think they're honestly cutting down to be more reasonable.

It could be noticing it more because she might look really interesting, but you've been burned enough to wise up and wait for reviews!

3 hours ago, pfunk said:

Too many guys think with their dick, and ignore the warning signs. No reviews. Claim to be a porn star, but don't have any links to their work. Are visiting with "friends". Great pics, almost TGTBT, with nothing to show good service. 

You and I are more concerned with having a great time, rather than seeing the visiting "super hottie". That's why we miss the letdowns.

I think it's two fold: the first that you've learned to wait until there are a bunch of reviews to see what she doesn't say in her advertising, and second you might be attracted to more of the features on her menu that you will forgive a wider range of outer appearance differences for.

Some people are in this for the romance they aren't getting at home, while some of us don't have a really bitchy wife at home and it's actually kind of fun to have a different kind of sexy with someone being bitchy! It's all what you're going for. Its the same as when you were young, going out to bars and clubs with the one friend that just cared that she had a smokin thin body and couldn't care if she was dumb as a brick, and the other friend that didn't care what she looked like if she had a great personality on the dance floor. 

Honestly its easier to match up looks: if she has pics you like and she looks like those when you arrive, you're good. It's harder with "brains," as I've had plenty of women tell me they're really smart, and everything they say afterwards proves they are lucky enough to have a shirt explain which side tgif in!