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Nilpferdchen

Ediquette in Contacting

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Forgive my ignorance, I'm new the way things work in the US.  I just have a quick question.  I've contacted some nice ladies, and have been very polite and used proper grammar and sentence structure.  But on one occasion all the replies I got were 2-5 words, text speak (in emails) and it was a major turn off.  

Is that normal?  Is it just "response fatigue"?  Am I right to decide to see someone after they said it was OK? 

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3 hours ago, Nilpferdchen said:

Forgive my ignorance, I'm new the way things work in the US.  I just have a quick question.  I've contacted some nice ladies, and have been very polite and used proper grammar and sentence structure.  But on one occasion all the replies I got were 2-5 words, text speak (in emails) and it was a major turn off.  

Is that normal?  Is it just "response fatigue"?  Am I right to decide to see someone after they said it was OK? 

Short answers and text speak are very, very common. Get used to it. Also, what does the highlighted statement above mean? I am not following you.

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They are common, but perhaps you are interested in ladies who do not type that way.  It's not 100%.  You're also much better off using email--people tend to be a bit more conscious when they have a real keyboard.

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Yes, you don't have to commit to see even if they said yes. Obviously, if you're not going to to see if they said "yes" to your request, you should cancel with plenty of time so they can rebook the time. 

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Cheers guys.  It was on email to begin with, but they were probably just responding from their phone.  

I guess it kind of is a deal breaker for me.  I'll have to work around it, or learn for it not to be. 

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48 minutes ago, Nilpferdchen said:

Cheers guys.  It was on email to begin with, but they were probably just responding from their phone.  

I guess it kind of is a deal breaker for me.  I'll have to work around it, or learn for it not to be. 

If you are expecting girls to chat with you, before you ever schedule an appointment, you're forgetting that this is a business. There are a LOT of time wasting pretenders, who NEVER schedule an appointment. If they suspect you're one of those, you'll be lucky to get any response.

I strongly suggest you be polite, brief, and businesslike. Expect the same in return. Good luck! :)

 

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Ladies that respond in an intelligent, welcoming manner to my inquiries have a lot better chance of getting my business.  It does not have to be a paragraph, just a sentence or 2 to get an idea that we might actually enjoy each others company.

Turnoffs-  responding by calling me sweetheart, sugar, etc.  This  tells me you cannot remember my name.

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18 hours ago, Nilpferdchen said:

Not to see, I meant.  

I guess I have a problem typing.

What Pejo said re: short answers and text.  The rest of question as I understand it - you have every right to decide not to see someone for whatever reason doesn't float your boat, as does she.  UNTIL an appointment is actually set, at which time both sides should do their level best to be where they are supposed to be, at the agreed upon time unless something truly out of their control comes up.  Then as much advance notice as possible should be politely given.  She however does have the right to expect that you pretty much know you want to see her before you call and are going to get to the point without multiple calls and chit chat.  Many of the ladies have other things going on - jobs, school, family, etc. - and really can't let time wasters take up all their available time.

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This particular I wanted to see, but her email and then text responses turned me off.  I said this and she responded with an explanation that satisfied me.  But it was already past the time I originally wanted to see her.  So, I have to save it for another day... perhaps I already shot myself in the foot.  Only time will tell. 

 

 

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You are not the only one I have heard this from recently. Intelligence is a turn on for many. Others say you are not dating her grammar. It works both ways, a curt email from a stranger doesn't get much return effort from me.

BUT- I can barely find the period for text messages on my high-tech hobby flip-phone. I wouldn't read too much into it. I prefer not to text unless necessary, without punctuation ;)

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OK, Nilpferdchen, I'm going to point out that not only did you misspell "etiquette" in the title of the thread, there were a couple of other grammar and syntax errors in your message.  In other words, you are in no position to criticize the ladies.  I, on the other hand, have a command of the English language, its spelling and syntax, not to mention its grammar, that is stunning (not surprising from a former English teacher), and one thing I have learned is not to confuse communication skills with intelligence, character, or any other personality attribute.  Some of the best communicators in this business are crabby and annoying as heck in person.  On the other hand some ladies who misspelled three words in their five-word texts have charmed my pants off.  Judge not by the text!

Also, bear in mind that a lot of times when a lady sends a five-word text back, it is because she is out with friends and is trying to be as discrete as possible, and you should be glad that she is taking time to respond to you and show interest.  Judge by the reviews and you will be fine.

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Typical conversation by text:

Hobbyist: Available?

ASP: Yes.

Hobbyist: When?

ASP: Now.

Hobbyist: Where?

ASP: Close. 

Hobbyist: Cost?

ASP: Bring $.

Hobbyist: Great.

ASP: Seeya.

The Wise Old Owl

Brevity is the key to Clarity...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Badboy said:

 

Also, bear in mind that a lot of times when a lady sends a five-word text back, it is because she is out with friends and is trying to be as discrete as possible, and you should be glad that she is taking time to respond to you and show interest.  Judge by the reviews and you will be fine.

Would that be discreet, professor?  LOL Sorry just couldn't help it!! (Agree with rest of post though ;))

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2 hours ago, Badboy said:

OK, Nilpferdchen, I'm going to point out that not only did you misspell "etiquette" in the title of the thread, there were a couple of other grammar and syntax errors in your message.  In other words, you are in no position to criticize the ladies.  I, on the other hand, have a command of the English language, its spelling and syntax, not to mention its grammar, that is stunning (not surprising from a former English teacher), and one thing I have learned is not to confuse communication skills with intelligence, character, or any other personality attribute.  Some of the best communicators in this business are crabby and annoying as heck in person.  On the other hand some ladies who misspelled three words in their five-word texts have charmed my pants off.  Judge not by the text!

Also, bear in mind that a lot of times when a lady sends a five-word text back, it is because she is out with friends and is trying to be as discrete as possible, and you should be glad that she is taking time to respond to you and show interest.  Judge by the reviews and you will be fine.

Yeah, I realized that. :)  I was wondering how long that would squeak by... 

English isn't my first language.  So, I have a hard time understanding a "text speak".  Tone in writing doesn't come that way.  Grammar wasn't what I was put off by.  It was texts like "yeah, u", "fine", "?", etc...     

 I've interacted with 5 her so far, only 1 wrote like that.  I more so just wanted to know if it was standard practice in the US (answer, yes).  

Where I'm originally from and where else I've lived, it's in the open and thus lot different.

 

 

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What if a provider has dyslexia, and her grammar sucks ass? Is that too a deal breaker. JK boys. :D

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27 minutes ago, Nikki Holiday said:

What if a provider has dyslexia, and her grammar sucks ass? Is that too a deal breaker. JK boys. :D

As long as she is nice, I don't care.  One of my ATF's was deaf.

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6 hours ago, Nikki Holiday said:

What if a provider has dyslexia, and her grammar sucks ass? Is that too a deal breaker. JK boys. :D

Did you hear about the agnostic provider who simultaneously suffered from dyslexia and insomnia?

 

She lays awake at night, wondering if there really is a dog.

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3 minutes ago, SpiceInCo said:

I have had so many people message me just wanting to talk. I can't distinguish  the real between the lurkers.  I am also using a phone to email, so yes, Many errors occur.  But when reading all of my reviews they all speak volumes on my service and how I tend to talk away and hold an amazing conversation.   If you messaged me and weren't somewhat to the point, I will more than likely stop responsding. But after the relationship is past the first meeting I tend to text frequently with my clients.  But if you're basing your impression off a lack luster conversation, you will frequently be dissapppointed.  A woman's reviews, and ad should be a huge part of your decision making. Understand on days when we post ad we can get contacted  by up to 20 people via text, calls, emails. I run out of energy answering the same questions  and the same small talk. 

I love the non-scheduling related chit-chat.  I want to build some kind of rapport with the lady that is my current lady of choice and "text me when you are at 5th and Main" does not quite accomplish that!

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15 minutes ago, Riggo said:

I love the non-scheduling related chit-chat.  I want to build some kind of rapport with the lady that is my current lady of choice and "text me when you are at 5th and Main" does not quite accomplish that!

The entire time I'm chatting with a woman half my age, and/or WAAAYYY out my league, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking "DO you REALLY think she cares?".

Of course, I've been doing this a lot longer, so I'm a bit jaded...:)

 

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2 minutes ago, pfunk said:

The entire time I'm chatting with a woman half my age, and/or WAAAYYY out my league, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking "DO you REALLY think she cares?".

Of course, I've been doing this a lot longer, so I'm a bit jaded...:)

 

I think some of them do care. When you are meeting old farts with little tools constantly, they are probably looking for any kind of spark and sometimes the human interaction is just as important, if not more important, than the physical one.  Because god knows, most of us older fellers are not going to meet the physical requirement to generate excitement. :D

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48 minutes ago, Riggo said:

I love the non-scheduling related chit-chat.  I want to build some kind of rapport with the lady that is my current lady of choice and "text me when you are at 5th and Main" does not quite accomplish that!

Huh, I keep it down to basics: time, place, any delays or random things I should know about on the way. Sometimes a tiny bit of chit chat of "oh sorry, busy at that time or need to bring my car into the shop that day so no." I shoot for the minimum so I don't waste my or her time. 

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3 minutes ago, ajot said:

Huh, I keep it down to basics: time, place, any delays or random things I should know about on the way. Sometimes a tiny bit of chit chat of "oh sorry, busy at that time or need to bring my car into the shop that day so no." I shoot for the minimum so I don't waste my or her time. 

Different strokes for different folks... Some people prefer to keep the meeting at the transactional level and some feel a little more comfortable when it is slightly deeper than that...

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A few more interaction and I understand a little better.  I guess I perceived her effort in communication as her possible effort in other aspects.  But based on more experiences, they are not parallel paths.  

Much different that across the ponds. 

 

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32 minutes ago, Riggo said:

Different strokes for different folks... Some people prefer to keep the meeting at the transactional level and some feel a little more comfortable when it is slightly deeper than that...

This is post first meeting of course.  I don't expect a lady to provide a whole lot of chat before we have ever met...

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1 hour ago, Riggo said:

This is post first meeting of course.  I don't expect a lady to provide a whole lot of chat before we have ever met...

Haha, ok. I mistook it for prefirst meeting which made me very confused. Post makes more sense, especially in setting up another meeting you get more chit chat.

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This problem is not exclusive to responses. It is all I can do to get the information from men on emails, forget about texting. The biggest time wasting for me is having to "hand hold" a request.

I will steal Wise Old Owl's format.

Them: You available?

Me: When did you want to meet? What area are in? Do you need and incall or an outcall?

Them: incall

Me: {sigh} I still don't know when or where? Could you please read my website (insert here, because they didn't take the time to hit the link button in my ad) and I will be happy to try and schedule an appointment.  If you have met with an escort before, please provide a reference. If you are a newbie, let me know. Thank you.

Them: Denver and yes I have.

Me: Yes, you have what? You still have not told me when. Please read my website.

Them: Met an escort.

Me: {breathe} {trying to be nice, I don't know if he is a scared newbie or just a dumbass yet}

Me: If you have a reference, please send me her information. If you are a newbie, can we chat on the phone briefly?

Them: Like I want to meet now.

Me: Like sorry. Like I can't help you. Like good luck.

**2 weeks go by..........

Them: You available? We have talked before.

Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Re72di5phM0

 

 

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I think poor Kashmir posted the wrong youtube clip.  After a frustrating exchange like the one she just described, I can imagine her channeling Sam Kinison:

 

scream

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