jr45

Smells Like.....

48 posts in this topic

Wanted to say to the TOB team and start a topic I haven't seen really written about.  I'm a long time lurker of TOB just really have not had anything to contribute to the community or hobbyist until recently.  First and foremost, I wanted to thank so many of you for contributing some great advice, helping me get through the hobby and keep my "bad choices" and "TOFTT" experiences to a minimum.  You all, including the girls... have helped me through some very tough times.  With that being said, yes.... I am married.  Not really afraid to admit that part.  Things are what they are, and although I have a healthy sex life with my wife... I have to come to realize that I really enjoy variety.  No other way to say it, which is really what brings me into the hobby.  I think this is really a common battle ground with a lot of men.  I have come to really appreciate my ATF providers as they know some keys to how to conduct business with men that are in relationships.... i.e... private incall locations, ability to shower, men's bodywash available, deodorant available, drinks available, etc... bottomline... NO frilly smells!  This really brings my question, to everyone in the group and the hobby, but more so directed to the girls... Girls, you have to assume that at least 80% (might be a high estimate) of the guys you are seeing are in some sort of relationship, why in the fricken world would ever drench yourself in perfume, have girly lotions to rub the guy down in, list goes on and on...etc...???  I completely get the fact that you all want to smell good for us... (really appreciate that part)...but there really can be a tactful line drawn to what is TOO much! lol.... I hate really having to worry about coming home smelling like another woman, nothing makes the situation more awkward than meeting a provider and all of sudden getting hit by this wall of perfume, then immediately thinking in my head... holy shit, how am I going to make this go away?!  Need to go to the gym, work out...sweat, smell like a man again, go roll in dirt.... throw diesel on myself... who the fk knows, just need to do something to get this damn smell off me before I get home to my wife and have a ton of explaining to do before my ass gets thrown to the wolves!  If anything, I hope there may be some good stories that come out of this post... but at a very minimum, girls... take some notes as I'm extremely surprised I haven't seen this talked about before on here!  This is really a BIG deal to Most if not ALL guys!  And again... thank you to the board!

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99% of the providers have a shower. Ask to use it when you have 10 minutes left. Keep a gym bag with deodorant, soap, and lotion in your car. Problem solved! :)

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1 hour ago, jr45 said:

Wanted to say to the TOB team and start a topic I haven't seen really written about.  I'm a long time lurker of TOB just really have not had anything to contribute to the community or hobbyist until recently.  First and foremost, I wanted to thank so many of you for contributing some great advice, helping me get through the hobby and keep my "bad choices" and "TOFTT" experiences to a minimum.  You all, including the girls... have helped me through some very tough times.  With that being said, yes.... I am married.  Not really afraid to admit that part.  Things are what they are, and although I have a healthy sex life with my wife... I have to come to realize that I really enjoy variety.  No other way to say it, which is really what brings me into the hobby.  I think this is really a common battle ground with a lot of men.  I have come to really appreciate my ATF providers as they know some keys to how to conduct business with men that are in relationships.... i.e... private incall locations, ability to shower, men's bodywash available, deodorant available, drinks available, etc... bottomline... NO frilly smells!  This really brings my question, to everyone in the group and the hobby, but more so directed to the girls... Girls, you have to assume that at least 80% (might be a high estimate) of the guys you are seeing are in some sort of relationship, why in the fricken world would ever drench yourself in perfume, have girly lotions to rub the guy down in, list goes on and on...etc...???  I completely get the fact that you all want to smell good for us... (really appreciate that part)...but there really can be a tactful line drawn to what is TOO much! lol.... I hate really having to worry about coming home smelling like another woman, nothing makes the situation more awkward than meeting a provider and all of sudden getting hit by this wall of perfume, then immediately thinking in my head... holy shit, how am I going to make this go away?!  Need to go to the gym, work out...sweat, smell like a man again, go roll in dirt.... throw diesel on myself... who the fk knows, just need to do something to get this damn smell off me before I get home to my wife and have a ton of explaining to do before my ass gets thrown to the wolves!  If anything, I hope there may be some good stories that come out of this post... but at a very minimum, girls... take some notes as I'm extremely surprised I haven't seen this talked about before on here!  This is really a BIG deal to Most if not ALL guys!  And again... thank you to the board!

To tell you the truth I really enjoy that. different strokes I guess.

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" and although I have a healthy sex life with my wife... I have to come to realize that I really enjoy variety.  No other way to say it, which is really what brings me into the hobby. .."

I will probably be crossed off of a few "to do lists" for this response but I guess I will live that.   

Over the past 8 years, since discovering this "provider/hobby world" I have learned to accept (for the most part)  the sexual differences between a man and woman.  I have developed an understanding and acceptance as to why certain situations can lead to a man looking outside of  his marriage for sexual fulfillment (when the sex has all but stopped on the home front; when his wife has become ill and/or unable to partake in the physical activities he so deeply craves, etc.)  I understand that by him fulfilling his sexual needs via the services of an escort, he can then return to enjoying all of the other aspects of his relationship with the woman he loves - his wife.  I get that.  I understand it.   And somehow my mind feels that in those situations, although the man is technically going behind his wife's back to have sex with other women, that his motives are to save his marriage - that he truly loves and respects his wife and the alternative would harm the marriage more as it would cause him to resent her and his every growing desire would ultimately prevent him from enjoying all the other things he enjoys with his wife in their marriage.  So I guess, you can say - those types of situations have my "approval'  (not that anybody needs my approval LOL this is just my opinion)  

As I've said in other threads in the past, to me TRUST is a huge and fundamental element of a marriage.  There is nothing about the OP's situation IMO that shows any compassion or respect for the wife or the marriage.  I am sorry but if you have a "healthy sex life" with your wife, then I cannot understand why you feel it is okay to betray her; lie to her, keep secrets and sneak around behind her back knowing how devastated and heart broken she would feel if she were to learn the truth - for no other reason but to satisfy your craving for 'variety.'  It's just not nice.  It's actually kinda cruel and frankly, it isn't fair.  It makes me very sad.  If your reason is simply "variety" then perhaps you shouldn't be married. Sorry - I probably should keep my opinion on this to myself.  But I just can't.

 xoxo

Edited by Danielle Rae
typos
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49 minutes ago, Danielle Rae said:

 

I will probably be crossed off of a few "to do lists" for this response but I guess I will live that.   

 

But added to a few. ;)

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Seems like this has come up before for discussion but I couldn't find it. My solution is to eat french fries after the session. At least gets the odor off your face. I suppose you could wipe your greasy hands on your close. I've also driven around with all the windows open too.

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 If you are afraid of your clothes smelling like her - rip yours off quickly. After you are done, take a shower - give her a "fist bump" to say goodbye and head out the door.
 

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Being single, I don't really have to fear this problem. To be quite truthful, I've found most providers to be on the discretionary side when it comes to wearing various fragrances. They probably realize that many of their clients are in relationships, and it behooves them to go by the saying "less is more".

Of course, it doesn't help that I have a terrible sense of smell, my bed would probably have to be burning before I smelled the smoke. Anyway, some former gf's must have suffered the same affliction I have, because I could detect what they were wearing 20 feet down the hall before I arrived at their places of residence. I would have sworn I walked into a perfumery. Impressed, I was not. The point is, I have never found a provider who wore as much fragrance as these former gf's.

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As to incriminating odor, it's been mentioned to stop and get gas for your car.

"Accidentally" spill some on your hands and a little splash on your pants.

Gasoline covers the smell of everything.

 

Signature

 

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I guess I am just lucky, but all of the ladies I see wear very little perfume (my current ATFs don't wear any - but they smell great naturally) and all have showers with some kind of "unscented" body wash.  Problem solved.  You might want to check ahead of time.  The one time I visited someone who didn't have a shower (I forgot to check) I just stopped at the gym for a quick shower.  The gasoline trick would probably work, but seems so nasty it would be reserved for emergencies.

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Before meeting a provider, I almost always say something along the lines of "I need to leave your place looking and smelling like I did when I got here."  Meaning... I can't smell like pot, smoke, lotion, incense, etc., and can't have visible marks on my extremities from impact play (whips, crops, etc.) or restraints.  I guess the last part of that only applies to select weirdos like me, but the first part is probably pretty universal.  I think most providers would get the hint with statement like this, and I've never personally had someone not get the hint.

As far as what Danielle Rae says... I wholeheartedly agree with her.  There are a lot of people on here (myself included) who would gladly trade this "hobby" in a heartbeat for something that even remotely resembles a fulfilling relationship.  I'll never understand guys in good relationships with mentally healthy women that would risk everything for a cheap screw.  We're all wired differently I suppose...

 

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You being married is none of my business. 

Escorts are paid for time, and to go away. Not to leave A lingering smell left on the gentleman when he leaves.  

If your a provider who wears all the sexiest smells lotions heavy makeup, place it in your advertising and give the guy the option of telling you NO perfume at time of booking. It's the guys responsibility to read the advertisement and mention it. 

problem solved 

Edited by Nikki Holiday
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IMO if you're attached and choose to see a provider then it's a big risk regardless of how you come home smelling. Another thing besides perfume to look out for is incalls that smell like smoke -- especially if you don't smoke. With perfume you can at least avoid contact with your clothes on, shower, then leave without contact. The smoke smell is stuck with you even if you shower, because once you're there it's on your clothes and you're stuck. If you haven't met the lady before then do your research, read reviews, and communicate concerns with her ahead of time. Also, as some of the other posts mentioned always have a plan B -- change of clothes etc. and use common sense.

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On ‎1‎/‎23‎/‎2016 at 8:21 PM, jr45 said:

 I hate really having to worry about coming home smelling like another woman, nothing makes the situation more awkward than meeting a provider and all of sudden getting hit by this wall of perfume, then immediately thinking in my head... holy shit, how am I going to make this go away?!  Need to go to the gym, work out...sweat, smell like a man again, go roll in dirt.... throw diesel on myself... who the fk knows, just need to do something to get this damn smell off me before I get home to my wife and have a ton of explaining to do before my ass gets thrown to the wolves!  If anything, I hope there may be some good stories that come out of this post... but at a very minimum, girls... take some notes

Unfortunately, we're living in a world where everyone else is responsible for our actions but us.  Sounds like you're on full buy-in.  Spill coffee? Sue the vendor. Hit a tree? Sue the arborist. Get busted by your wife? Sue the escort. You alone are responsible for your actions.  I find it odd to rant about something that's completely and utterly up to you.  No one but you needs to give a rats ass about your lifestyle choices and the possible consequences.  Make your olfactory needs known at the time you schedule.  You have the choice to walk away if not to your specifications. See gals with showers.  Bring your own soap and deodorant.  Man up and take responsibility for your own choices in life. 

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You can always ask the provider the kind of perfume she's wearing and then buy one while driving back home ;)

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2 hours ago, gimmyg said:

You can always ask the provider the kind of perfume she's wearing and then buy one while driving back home ;)

Smooth.   Very smooth.

I know who to call now if I ever need a wingman.

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10 hours ago, gimmyg said:

You can always ask the provider the kind of perfume she's wearing and then buy one while driving back home ;)

And yes... that is a pretty genius move!  niiiiiccceeee!

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This is one reason I prefer to hobby in the morning.  More time for things to dissipate.

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On 1/23/2016 at 8:54 PM, Danielle Rae said:

T" and although I have a healthy sex life with my wife... I have to come to realize that I really enjoy variety.  No other way to say it, which is really what brings me into the hobby. .."

I will probably be crossed off of a few "to do lists" for this response but I guess I will live that.   

Over the past 8 years, since discovering this "provider/hobby world" I have learned to accept (for the most part)  the sexual differences between a man and woman.  I have developed an understanding and acceptance as to why certain situations can lead to a man looking outside of  his marriage for sexual fulfillment (when the sex has all but stopped on the home front; when his wife has become ill and/or unable to partake in the physical activities he so deeply craves, etc.)  I understand that by him fulfilling his sexual needs via the services of an escort, he can then return to enjoying all of the other aspects of his relationship with the woman he loves - his wife.  I get that.  I understand it.   And somehow my mind feels that in those situations, although the man is technically going behind his wife's back to have sex with other women, that his motives are to save his marriage - that he truly loves and respects his wife and the alternative would harm the marriage more as it would cause him to resent her and his every growing desire would ultimately prevent him from enjoying all the other things he enjoys with his wife in their marriage.  So I guess, you can say - those types of situations have my "approval'  (not that anybody needs my approval LOL this is just my opinion)  

As I've said in other threads in the past, to me TRUST is a huge and fundamental element of a marriage.  There is nothing about the OP's situation IMO that shows any compassion or respect for the wife or the marriage.  I am sorry but if you have a "healthy sex life" with your wife, then I cannot understand why you feel it is okay to betray her; lie to her, keep secrets and sneak around behind her back knowing how devastated and heart broken she would feel if she were to learn the truth - for no other reason but to satisfy your craving for 'variety.'  It's just not nice.  It's actually kinda cruel and frankly, it isn't fair.  It makes me very sad.  If your reason is simply "variety" then perhaps you shouldn't be married. Sorry - I probably should keep my opinion on this to myself.  But I just can't.

 xoxo

That is why I like you Danielle.

 

 

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3 hours ago, UTF4ME said:

That is why I like you Danielle.

 

 

Well thanxxx xoxo Muah! :)

 

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My personal favorite answer is to dowse yourself in gasoline and light a match!

Oh wait,  was lighting the match not part of the solution?

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59 minutes ago, Riggo said:

My personal favorite answer is to dowse yourself in gasoline and light a match!

Oh wait,  was lighting the match not part of the solution?

Once upon a time, I had a "winner" of an ex-boyfriend who actually did just that...(I knew how to pick 'em for a while back then...):eek:

Edited by Danielle Rae
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Confess to your wife u have a secret fetish of wearing purfume then start wearing it. But you gotta quit your poker club

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On January 23, 2016 at 8:54 PM, Danielle Rae said:

" and although I have a healthy sex life with my wife... I have to come to realize that I really enjoy variety.  No other way to say it, which is really what brings me into the hobby. .."

I will probably be crossed off of a few "to do lists" for this response but I guess I will live that.   

Over the past 8 years, since discovering this "provider/hobby world" I have learned to accept (for the most part)  the sexual differences between a man and woman.  I have developed an understanding and acceptance as to why certain situations can lead to a man looking outside of  his marriage for sexual fulfillment (when the sex has all but stopped on the home front; when his wife has become ill and/or unable to partake in the physical activities he so deeply craves, etc.)  I understand that by him fulfilling his sexual needs via the services of an escort, he can then return to enjoying all of the other aspects of his relationship with the woman he loves - his wife.  I get that.  I understand it.   And somehow my mind feels that in those situations, although the man is technically going behind his wife's back to have sex with other women, that his motives are to save his marriage - that he truly loves and respects his wife and the alternative would harm the marriage more as it would cause him to resent her and his every growing desire would ultimately prevent him from enjoying all the other things he enjoys with his wife in their marriage.  So I guess, you can say - those types of situations have my "approval'  (not that anybody needs my approval LOL this is just my opinion)  

As I've said in other threads in the past, to me TRUST is a huge and fundamental element of a marriage.  There is nothing about the OP's situation IMO that shows any compassion or respect for the wife or the marriage.  I am sorry but if you have a "healthy sex life" with your wife, then I cannot understand why you feel it is okay to betray her; lie to her, keep secrets and sneak around behind her back knowing how devastated and heart broken she would feel if she were to learn the truth - for no other reason but to satisfy your craving for 'variety.'  It's just not nice.  It's actually kinda cruel and frankly, it isn't fair.  It makes me very sad.  If your reason is simply "variety" then perhaps you shouldn't be married. Sorry - I probably should keep my opinion on this to myself.  But I just can't.

 xoxo

On topic...A pro wears ZERO perfume, and a good FBSM lady uses absolutely scentless lotions.  Those procedures seem really basic. 

As for the lovely Danielle's objection, well, I understand it and I'm equally mystified that someone would seek escorts while getting a lot at home. My wife, who I love dearly, just can't muster the desire for sex more than 4 times a year or so. I have talked about that ad nauseum. I have also been judged and/or put down (not by Danielle who truly understands the situation) by many on this board and/or trolls. 

I may be mystified, but I don't judge and/or condemn the man who seeks escorts with an affectionate wife at home. I am envious/jealous that his wife is affectionate. I would love to stop spending money on FBSM. I would love to reconnect with my wife and put this "hobby" away for good. 

For this guy, he may be one of those people who could explain to his wife and/or proposition a "swinging/polyamorous" life. However, that kind of talk probably happens in the movies, but not in real life. I actually feel bad for a guy with such a high sex drive. The irony is that I have a low sex drive and my wife still can't keep up with a twice-a-month need. I'm optimistic that she will rediscover her mojo. I have to keep that frame of mind. 

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1 hour ago, pitbull said:

For this guy, he may be one of those people who could explain to his wife and/or proposition a "swinging/polyamorous" life. However, that kind of talk probably happens in the movies, but not in real life. 

There are swingers clubs, in the Denver area, with several hundred couples as members. I guaranty that "that kind of talk" happens with many couples, especially if one partner loses their desire or ability. I've been in two swinging relationships, they are fun!

On topic, I'll repeat my previous post: " 99% of the providers have a shower. Ask to use it when you have 10 minutes left. Keep a gym bag with deodorant, soap, and lotion in your car. Problem solved! :) "

 

Edited by pfunk
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On ‎1‎/‎23‎/‎2016 at 6:46 PM, pfunk said:

99% of the providers have a shower. Ask to use it when you have 10 minutes left. Keep a gym bag with deodorant, soap, and lotion in your car. Problem solved! :)

There is your answer. As long as you don't play grab ass at the door on your way out. Although I really liked your answer "roll in diesel fuel , dirt, etc.

That is some funny shit. And yes, I do understand your concern. So, ladies , pay attention here. A married man speaketh!

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I don't wear perfume nor do I like cologne but for different reasons.  ACHOO

My preferences are listed on my website and p411. Best to mention any preference during booking.

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I've had issues with strong perfume smells on occasion while participating in this activity. Most providers offer a shower if you have this happen to you or you can request no perfume and /or odorless lotions if you want to have a repeat session. Keep a gym bag in your vehicle with deodorant, soap and a change of clothes (or just a shirt) for just these occasions (really comes in handy when hobbying). Otherwise, no big deal, when you take precautions ahead of time.

Edited by MisterBigShot
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On 1/23/2016 at 8:54 PM, Danielle Rae said:

" and although I have a healthy sex life with my wife... I have to come to realize that I really enjoy variety.  No other way to say it, which is really what brings me into the hobby. .."

I will probably be crossed off of a few "to do lists" for this response but I guess I will live that.   

Over the past 8 years, since discovering this "provider/hobby world" I have learned to accept (for the most part)  the sexual differences between a man and woman.  I have developed an understanding and acceptance as to why certain situations can lead to a man looking outside of  his marriage for sexual fulfillment (when the sex has all but stopped on the home front; when his wife has become ill and/or unable to partake in the physical activities he so deeply craves, etc.)  I understand that by him fulfilling his sexual needs via the services of an escort, he can then return to enjoying all of the other aspects of his relationship with the woman he loves - his wife.  I get that.  I understand it.   And somehow my mind feels that in those situations, although the man is technically going behind his wife's back to have sex with other women, that his motives are to save his marriage - that he truly loves and respects his wife and the alternative would harm the marriage more as it would cause him to resent her and his every growing desire would ultimately prevent him from enjoying all the other things he enjoys with his wife in their marriage.  So I guess, you can say - those types of situations have my "approval'  (not that anybody needs my approval LOL this is just my opinion)  

As I've said in other threads in the past, to me TRUST is a huge and fundamental element of a marriage.  There is nothing about the OP's situation IMO that shows any compassion or respect for the wife or the marriage.  I am sorry but if you have a "healthy sex life" with your wife, then I cannot understand why you feel it is okay to betray her; lie to her, keep secrets and sneak around behind her back knowing how devastated and heart broken she would feel if she were to learn the truth - for no other reason but to satisfy your craving for 'variety.'  It's just not nice.  It's actually kinda cruel and frankly, it isn't fair.  It makes me very sad.  If your reason is simply "variety" then perhaps you shouldn't be married. Sorry - I probably should keep my opinion on this to myself.  But I just can't.

 xoxo

Everyone's situation is unique and you're certainly entitled to your opinion of the OP or of anyone's motives for participating in this activity. However, I find it very interesting that the OP is being judged openly by you or anyone for being part of this community regardless of his reasons for doing so. You know, the whole glass houses theory?

His reasons are probably personal and quite possibly more in depth than he expressed in his original post. My unscientific guess is, his story is common to probably a large percentage of married men on this site who love their wives yet after many years of marriage and missionary position with the lights off are intrigued by variety and the physiological make-up of being a Homo sapien Male of the species.

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