Friend's ex

[LoneRearranger]

Here's a question for the ladies. There is a local provider that I'm 95% certain is my friend's ex GF. She obscures her face and tattoos. I'd love to book a session, but it seems like it may be a little strange. Have any of you been contacted by someone from your private life? What's the etiquette around that? 

[inkspot]

It has never been a problem for me.  I had providers so up unexpectedly as customers. I treated them like anyone else.  We both appreciated the business.  I would not mention to your friend if you pay a visit to his ex.  On the other hand I guess you two could compare notes.

[MoneyTeam]

Is she hot?

[MoneyTeam]

Oh shiiiiiiit!  ^^

[Scarlett Dayne]

Yes I have had that happen.

One time it was even a man that used to work for my dad. Hilarious! I have ran into people I went to high school with as well as my dad's former employee.

There wasn't any weirdness between the two of us, but I guarantee we weren't going to put an ad in the local paper to air our naughty deeds lol.

They were actually fun because they were fun, cool and treated me awesome. 

However... If it is Your Friend, a close friend, I think that would definitely be breaking "friend code" by hanging out with someone he used to be in like/love/lust with.

"Bros Before Hos"... Should probabllllyyyy be your motto in life. It's all about respect and trust in my opinion. You're not much of a good friend to him if you are not a person he can truly respect and trust.

Just Sayin'... ;-)~

[Just Jos]

At first i was gonna say dooo it, she's fair game, but then i read Scarlett's response and... She's right. If you are truly his friend, I wouldn't risk it. Or Perhaps you could just be direct w him and as nonchalantly as it can be brought up say that you are thinking of visiting an escort, and show him a pic of said lady. I'm sure you'll get your answer then? Haha 

[Bit Banger]

35 minutes ago, Just Jos said:

At first i was gonna say dooo it, she's fair game, but then i read Scarlett's response and... She's right. If you are truly his friend, I wouldn't risk it. Or Perhaps you could just be direct w him and as nonchalantly as it can be brought up say that you are thinking of visiting an escort, and show him a pic of said lady. I'm sure you'll get your answer then? Haha 

You should NOT out her to your friend, but you might ask if he minded you dating his ex.  Doing that behind his back would break the Bro Code. 

[Just Jos]

Oh dang! I guess i never thought of it as "outting" That type of thing is so difficult to keep from a significant other, I just assumed That he already knew. Anything is possible, tho I suppose. To the OP was she a provider pre or post breakup? If it's pre I stick to my original solution. But if it's post break up, go w bits suggestion. :-)

[gr8owl]

To me, one of the main reasons to go the "provider" route is to AVOID DRAMA.  Codes and bros, etc. aside why would you want to go looking for drama?  If you are that sure she is friend's ex and you want to book with her it sounds to me like you had a "thing" for her already.  Another good reason to steer clear. Keep it simple, professional, no emotional entanglements and no drama.  Look elsewhere.  IMHO

[MoneyTeam]

Sooooo did you see her?  (;

[Guest]

Man, these first posts are posing some ethical dilemmas...Props to you for bringing it with this post!

Anyway, he's still your friend and she's his ex. While I'm not saying you're required to ask for permission from your friend, this situation would create a dilemma for you if you went ahead and contacted or scheduled with her without mentioning to him that you're interested in seeing his ex (he doesn't need to know the context of the "dating" that would be going on). If you seriously need more drama in your life, then go ahead and discuss the idea with your friend. However, if you're content with how things are with your friend, then just leave it alone and let her do her thing and keep the past in the past.

[pitbull]

Your friend's previously unattainable (and presumably hot) girlfriend is available. That's an opportunity you can't pass up. You both are able to keep secrets, so go for it. 

[MoneyTeam]

Well it all really depends on how close you are with this friend.  Is he like your best friend forever, a co worker, an old buddy from the highschool lacrosse team?  

[Guest]

49 minutes ago, pitbull said:

Your friend's previously unattainable (and presumably hot) girlfriend is available. That's an opportunity you can't pass up. You both are able to keep secrets, so go for it. 

There are too many other providers out there who are not a friend's ex to risk it. So why risk it with your friend? We can agree to disagree on this one and I'm glad we're not friends.

[MrFister]

Not quite the same thing, but, when I first started hobbying, a close family member was a very popular escort (she stopped about 5 or 6 years back). To this day, I've kept that knowledge to myself.

Same advice applies (not speaking directly to the OP): Unless you're the type of person that needs to stir shit up, leave it alone.

[pitbull]

38 minutes ago, MisterBigShot said:

There are too many other providers out there who are not a friend's ex to risk it. So why risk it with your friend? We can agree to disagree on this one and I'm glad we're not friends.

Maybe his friend went out with several hookers. He may have no choice but to bang his friend's exes. Makes perfect sense, right? But seriously, I don't see the drama if people can keep secrets -- maybe they can't. 

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, pitbull said:

Maybe his friend went out with several hookers. He may have no choice but to bang his friend's exes. Makes perfect sense, right? But seriously, I don't see the drama if people can keep secrets -- maybe they can't. 

So much for the saying "Bros before Hos", huh? What his friend does is irrelevant in this scenario. If friendship weren't important to the OP he wouldn't have posted his dilemma here.

We know where you stand , Pit and you're certainly entitled to your opinion. We just happen to disagree on this topic.

 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, MoneyTeam said:

Well it all really depends on how close you are with this friend.  Is he like your best friend forever, a co worker, an old buddy from the highschool lacrosse team?  

Definition:

friend (/frend/): a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

 I'll direct this to friendships between men. By definition, a friend is someone with whom you are close. You can spin it any way you want to satisfy your conscience but it doesn't change reality. While I agree with the "why bring this potential trouble into your life when there are so many other women to choose from" advice, the part I find vexing is how easily some men will metaphorically kick a friend in the nuts over an immature infatuation for banging a friends' ex-girl, ex-wife, sister, daughter...just because she's a provider and he can. Fuck this "bros before hoes" bullshit as it's just pseudo 21st century banality that the masses swallow because it's easier than giving the situation any serious thought. Friendship is about character, loyalty and respect. If one is willing to jeopardize a friendship over something like this, those qualities are nonexistent within the relationship. It doesn't matter "how close you are with this friend" or if the girl is "hot" and into "face fucking". If one finds himself in the situation the OP laid out and one chooses to follow through on his fantasy he's not just fucking his friends' ex, he's fucking his (soon to be former) friend. 

19 hours ago, Scarlett Dayne said:

One time it was even a man that used to work for my dad. 

 

I have one child, a daughter I raised predominantly on my own. We are very close. I've often considered how I'd react if I found she was an escort. I know it would be difficult and worrisome for me because I'm her dad, but I hope and believe I would be accepting and understanding. She's a smart woman and it's her life. On the other hand, if I found that a man whom I'd been acquainted with in ANY fashion at ANY point in my life, purposely sought out my daughter's company knowing full well she is my child, well, that man would likely meet some friends of mine who aren't as committed to non-violence as I am. If it was pure coincidence, I'd expect him to walk away the second she opened the door. I'm sure you're a fine person, Scarlett, I'm not judging, just giving my perspective as a single father. 

[petey-9950]

Being old and divorced it would be like doing your best friends girl friend,. Nope. Don't need that drama 

[Guest]

49 minutes ago, If6Was9 said:

Definition:

friend (/frend/): a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

 I'll direct this to friendships between men. By definition, a friend is someone with whom you are close. You can spin it any way you want to satisfy your conscience but it doesn't change reality. While I agree with the "why bring this potential trouble into your life when there are so many other women to choose from" advice, the part I find vexing is how easily some men will metaphorically kick a friend in the nuts over an immature infatuation for banging a friends' ex-girl, ex-wife, sister, daughter...just because she's a provider and he can. Fuck this "bros before hoes" bullshit as it's just pseudo 21st century banality that the masses swallow because it's easier than giving the situation any serious thought. Friendship is about character, loyalty and respect. If one is willing to jeopardize a friendship over something like this, those qualities are nonexistent within the relationship. It doesn't matter "how close you are with this friend" or if the girl is "hot" and into "face fucking". If one finds himself in the situation the OP laid out and one chooses to follow through on his fantasy he's not just fucking his friends' ex, he's fucking his (soon to be former) friend. 

I have one child, a daughter I raised predominantly on my own. We are very close. I've often considered how I'd react if I found she was an escort. I know it would be difficult and worrisome for me because I'm her dad, but I hope and believe I would be accepting and understanding. She's a smart woman and it's her life. On the other hand, if I found that a man whom I'd been acquainted with in ANY fashion at ANY point in my life, purposely sought out my daughter's company knowing full well she is my child, well, that man would likely meet some friends of mine who aren't as committed to non-violence as I am. If it was pure coincidence, I'd expect him to walk away the second she opened the door. I'm sure you're a fine person, Scarlett, I'm not judging, just giving my perspective as a single father. 

^^^This^^^ and ^^^This^^^ is why you should avoid seeing her. You never know what the future could have in store for you. Its best to move on. Avoid drama at all costs. Don't burn your friendship over pussy. Next escort in line. There are many to pick from. Dose not matter who she is. Always let your big head do all the REASONABLE thinking, before you pick a provider. 

Its best to move on.

[rhood]

For the love of whatever god you may pray to. DON"T DO IT! Move on. ....pretty simple actually.

[TheWhisperer]

On December 30, 2015 at 6:43 PM, gr8owl said:

To me, one of the main reasons to go the "provider" route is to AVOID DRAMA.  Codes and bros, etc. aside why would you want to go looking for drama?  If you are that sure she is friend's ex and you want to book with her it sounds to me like you had a "thing" for her already.  Another good reason to steer clear. Keep it simple, professional, no emotional entanglements and no drama.  Look elsewhere.  IMHO

Exactly!

[MelindaMadison]

This world is suppose to be drama-free (yes-in Utopia) AND DISCREET. There's no element of discretion in the action that you are contemplating taking. Seriously- can't even believe this is on the table. If roles were reversed...any truly professional lady would avoid the appointment to veer away from any issues that may develop from it.  You don't mix real-life world with fantasy world- Period. That's just being professional- and Safe.

[Bit Banger]

26 minutes ago, MelindaMadison said:

... You don't mix real-life world with fantasy world- Period. That's just being professional- and Safe.

While I agree with your basic premise regarding the OP, I have to disagree with you on ^^this^^ statement.

There are several providers I have gotten to know over the years.  We interact in RW situations quite frequently.  But when it's time to turn professional, we do so with ease.

[MelindaMadison]

7 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

While I agree with your basic premise regarding the OP, I have to disagree with you on ^^this^^ statement.

There are several providers I have gotten to know over the years.  We interact in RW situations quite frequently.  But when it's time to turn professional, we do so with ease.

BUT...that sounds like it was a Mutual agreement between both parties to go that direction in YOUR case. The OP seems to be contemplating booking with someone he knows ( a former gf of a friend of his) (probably NOT pre-agreed upon cooperation from all parties involved). However successful you may have been in bridging the gap between professional provider and turning them into personal friend or gf- there are many cases and stories of this type of relationship gone wrong which just brings forth a low of wrath, heartbreak and drama. Always best to avoid. To the OP: there are plenty of wonderful ladies out there that aren't tied into your personal life and friendships- and she may not be in a situation where she wants to service a buddy of her ex either. (or if she does-should be given the choice Before booking-although i suspect that may be awkward as hell for both of you) 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, MelindaMadison said:

You don't mix real-life world with fantasy world- Period. That's just being professional- and Safe.

The smartest thing you could do is not book anyone, who knows your personal information. That means you NEVER give it out. 

[pitbull]

On December 30, 2015 at 11:16 AM, MisterBigShot said:

So much for the saying "Bros before Hos", huh? What his friend does is irrelevant in this scenario. If friendship weren't important to the OP he wouldn't have posted his dilemma here.

We know where you stand , Pit and you're certainly entitled to your opinion. We just happen to disagree on this topic.

 

I'm being a bit of a troll here and I apologize. Any situation where it may be exposed/known that you see prostitutes is not a good thing. I agree with you. Minimize drama and move on to a well reviewed and discrete woman. 

[Omega Man]

My friend broke up with his dentist girlfriend. (He may have thought she was a flight attendant). -  I've booked her to clean my teeth and don't see any reason to tell my friend as she has many clients.

Oral hygiene in this case means keeping your mouth shut. 

[Scarlett Dayne]

Ooohhhh here's a good one...

Ladies:

What if you showed up for a date only to realize the guy at the front door is your ex-boyfriend's (ex-husband's) good friend??

Situation #1: He knew it was you, gets off on doing things behind someone's back and decided to call you anyway despite what it might do to him & your ex's friendship because he simply must "have" you. What do you do?

Situation #2: He did not know it was you. You show up. You both, in shock, realize that you know each other from your ex. You are both attracted to each other. What do you do?

My Answers to get the ball rolling lol...

Situation #1: I would tell him I was not interested in adding any more seeds to my karma garden lol, and I would leave immediately. I would not like or trust this person anymore. I would not say a word to my ex about what his friend had done. Hey... he's now my ex so it probably means he F'ed up somewhere causing us not to be together anymore anyway lol (ha ha just Teasing guys lol).

Situation #2: I would find it extremely hot and naughty, nottt... gonna... lie! More than anything I have probably already thought about getting banged by him on many occasions (alone wink wink lol hee hee) sooo my mind would gravitate to those previous steamy images lol. I would want us to tear each others clothes off, and ravish one another's bodies until we couldn't breath. But... I would choose to have a conversation with my ex's friend to explain how I want him buttt I simply can't for the sheer principle of it. Then I would begin to leave. Buttt... he'd pull me in for a kiss at the front door. I'd pretend to pull away, but would give in to his warm lips pressing against mine. He grabs my ass pulling me tightly into his hard cock begging to be released. I find it difficult to think clearly, and make wise decisions. Conscience tugging at me while desperately seeking pleasure at the same time. Never-the-less I finally come to my senses, and slowly drift away from his strong, enticing body. Then I would fix my dress, gather my faculties, re-compose myself and return home with only a small door prize lol.

[The Wise Old Owl]

On 12/31/2015 at 5:28 PM, Nikki Holiday said:

^^^This^^^ and ^^^This^^^ is why you should avoid seeing her. You never know what the future could have in store for you. Its best to move on. Avoid drama at all costs. Don't burn your friendship over pussy. Next escort in line. There are many to pick from. Dose not matter who she is. Always let your big head do all the REASONABLE thinking, before you pick a provider. 

Its best to move on.

The Wise Old Owl sez "Good advice, Nikki".

The Wise Old Owl

Wiser than my years,

Older than dirt...

Edited January 14, 2016 by The Wise Old Owl