Cut The Chit-Chat

[Kandi Apple]

I hope I speak for all the ladies when I say: Cut the Chit- Chat!

All the messages back and forth just to get to the point.

Most of us are all here for the same reason.

We all screen the same "for the most part" .

When you contact a provider it is proper Hobbiest  etiquette to introduce yourself, include your contact information the date and time looking for, and your recent reputable references.

The P411 members tend to want more information from us ladies due to the menu change. That is OK as long as you don't waste a ladies time by personally messaging her as if P411 is a dating site.

[Bit Banger]

Many YL have stated in the past that there are hidden screening clues in conversing with a potential client. The same applies to clients screening YL. So there is value in "chit chat".

I agree it shouldn't take a twenty minute conversation or two dozen texts/emails. Unless of course on side limits themselves to monosyllabic responses. But even that tells you something. 

[inkspot]

One can understand that you do not need to email needlessly back and forth.  

I just paid a visit to a provider that required you to "chit chat" so she could get a feel for you in getting to know you.  Her way of screening for the hidden clues.

Your complaint is falling on deaf ears.  It gets kind of old.  

 

[Kandi Apple]

There is a big difference between calling and having a conversation and email/text. 

I agree with the falling on deaf ears. 

It's appropriate for the gentleman that are new to this to visit the topic.

The veterans are familiar with the protocol. 

[Guest]

don't waste a ladies time by personally messaging her as if P411 is a dating site.

p411 is not a dating site? No wonder I'm not getting any where with these girls. So you're saying answering messages like "hey baby, how you doing? wanna play?" is not your idea of a good time?

Edited November 1, 2015 by Raoul
syntax

[Kandi Apple]

p411 is not a dating site? No wonder I'm not getting any where with these girls. So you're saying answering messages like "hey baby, how you doing? wanna play?" is not your idea of a good time?

Lol!

Responding with please send an appointment request and we can make it work.

Edited November 1, 2015 by Kandi

[geecue2]

 

 

I can understand the desire to find out more about someone than just the canned ads and photos. Is she a warm beauty or a cold hearted robot?  A few emails can help figure that out, but I prefer hearing a voice myself.

https://youtu.be/j1c7RWumItU

Hearing the voice is nice.

 

 

[brownegg]

I hope I speak for all the ladies

Kinda a big hope, isn't it?

[Bora Bora]

When you contact a provider it is proper Hobbiest  etiquette to introduce yourself, include your contact information the date and time looking for, and your recent reputable references.

I ask a few questions before even thinking in a date and time. Ads don't always have all the information, even about simple things like if shower is available, preferred time of the day, area of the city, etc.

The way she answers is important in my final decision to schedule or not an appointment. That doesn't mean 10 emails going back and forth, but I do expect a nice reply, especially knowing that my original email asked about things that are not obvious in the ad and was respectfully written.

[Wannabebad]

I hope I speak for all the ladies when I say: Cut the Chit- Chat!

All the messages back and forth just to get to the point.

Most of us are all here for the same reason.

We all screen the same "for the most part" .

When you contact a provider it is proper Hobbiest  etiquette to introduce yourself, include your contact information the date and time looking for, and your recent reputable references.

The P411 members tend to want more information from us ladies due to the menu change. That is OK as long as you don't waste a ladies time by personally messaging her as if P411 is a dating site.

One size fits all doesn't. EOM.

[Keyser]

I hope I speak for all the ladies when I say: Cut the Chit- Chat!

All the messages back and forth just to get to the point.

Most of us are all here for the same reason.

We all screen the same "for the most part" .

When you contact a provider it is proper Hobbiest  etiquette to introduce yourself, include your contact information the date and time looking for, and your recent reputable references.

The P411 members tend to want more information from us ladies due to the menu change. That is OK as long as you don't waste a ladies time by personally messaging her as if P411 is a dating site.

I ran this through the escort translator - "Just shut up and give me your money".  I can only imagine that that theme carries over into the actual session.

Guess what, Kandi? You're in a service industry, sometimes you actually have to banter with your customers.  If you think it's beneath you, don't "hope you speak for all the ladies" and declare it a universal nuisance.  Just tell the customer to stop and then he'll decide if he still wants to book.

[Wannabebad]

Yea, I'm sorry but if I was to ever get to Denver this provider would be very low on my list to see even though she is hot. I personally like a little chit chat to get a feeling if we are going to click before I plunk down my hard earned dollars. This post and telling me (a veteran) how I should conduct my dealings with every lady (since she hopefully speaks for them) is a total turn off. I'm sorry Kandi but I think you could have broached this subject in a much better way instead of trying to scold us. 

[Kandi Apple]

I was not trying to be above anyone or scold anyone. Maybe I could of vouched strictly for myself.

My point was the e-mails and text that I receive that turnout to be irrelevant to a meeting period. They are just small Chit-Chat.

Example: Can you send me more pics, How much for ..., or even the ones that just say "Hi" and that is it.

Do I need the list to be long for it to be clear that those kind of things are not what a provider would like to be filtering through.

I prefer to be contacted by Phone just for the sole purpose that I can speak to whom is inquiring. Because your clearly calling me for a reason and can ask about anything. I can answer Yes, No & Maybe so... And if you are calling you clearly read my ad.

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend any gentleman.

Edited November 2, 2015 by Kandi

[pitbull]

It seems that the smokin' hot Ms. Kandi is railing against the dreaded "time wasters." This complaint is as old as the profession, and it is understandable. I was warned by ink long ago to not be one of those "time wasters" and only inquire if I was ready to rock. Before I heard this sage advice, I literally e-mailed back and forth endlessly with a now retired lady, and I never ended up seeing her. She never once hinted that I was wasting her time, by the way. 

It's also true that any person in sales must deal with several tire kickers before they get a live one. However, I'm not sure if this theory applies to this particular endeavor. Anyway, I certainly have spoken to many people in my widget business who were all fired up to buy my widgets. I say, "Ok, when, where, and how?" and the e-mail line goes dead.  

[Erin_CO]

I understand Kandi's point of view. You can't imagine how many stupid txts or emails people send.

Personally, when I receive an email with a nice introduction and/or intelligent questions I like to chit-chat and establish some chemistry before meeting. Sometimes it can take a few emails but I really enjoy the journey as well as the destination, as I'm sure the gentleman does as well

[Lucy Kitten]

I ran this through the escort translator - "Just shut up and give me your money".  I can only imagine that that theme carries over into the actual session.

Guess what, Kandi? You're in a service industry, sometimes you actually have to banter with your customers.  If you think it's beneath you, don't "hope you speak for all the ladies" and declare it a universal nuisance.  Just tell the customer to stop and then he'll decide if he still wants to book.

I think you have to actually understand the OP before you can run it through the translator. No lady likes a time-waster. The endless chit-chat wastes an unbelievable amount of time. If you need to trade fifteen emails before booking you're doing it wrong.

Guess what Keyser? We're in a luxury service industry, not commissioned car saleswomen. Banter is also a lot different than being a straight up time waster. So way to conflate the two issues and take out your misguided grumpiness on the OP.

I don't think any lady here has the time to stop and tell every single time waster that they are wasting time. While the PSAs seem redundant (and there are always the guys who immediately respond with the "that's not me!" posts) they wouldn't be needed if there weren't guys around here that are guilty of this behavior.

 

[Lucy Kitten]

I ask a few questions before even thinking in a date and time. Ads don't always have all the information, even about simple things like if shower is available, preferred time of the day, area of the city, etc.

The way she answers is important in my final decision to schedule or not an appointment. That doesn't mean 10 emails going back and forth, but I do expect a nice reply, especially knowing that my original email asked about things that are not obvious in the ad and was respectfully written.

I am an exceptionally nice person but this makes me crazy! I know that often times not all information is provided and wanting to fill in the gaps isn't unreasonable. But making the call and asking the questions without the intent of booking at the time is frustrating. Very frustrating and very common. Often times the questions asked are too intrusive for someone who isn't booking. The success rate with those types is very low. And it makes me feel as though you want me to sell myself to you on an individual level.

I don't like being tested. I am polite and professional always but I do not like being tested and the response you'll get from me will be terse when you try. I have worked hard on my ads and my website and earned a long list of very good reviews. I work to get bookings not convince potential clients via email. See even my response seems terse. I just don't like that and if it scratches me off anyone's list that is unfortunate.

[Wannabebad]

Let's reflect

" Personal goal number two is to quit being so damn sensitive, "

Just sayin, 😘

[Bora Bora]

I know that often times not all information is provided and wanting to fill in the gaps isn't unreasonable.

Exactly. So don't complain if we want to fill in the gaps *before* taking the decision of booking an appointment.

There's nothing wrong about asking a few important questions (within the law). "Professional" yes/no answers sometimes won't fill in the gap of personality and attitude. If there is not a welcoming attitude during the call or answering an email I will assume that I won't find a welcoming attitude during the meeting. You call it testing. I call it filling in a gap, because ads can't convey a friendly voice or a sweet personality, and not all providers have enough reviews so as to get out of them the lady's general attitude.

[Lucy Kitten]

Exactly. So don't complain if we want to fill in the gaps *before* taking the decision of booking an appointment.

There's nothing wrong about asking a few important questions (within the law). "Professional" yes/no answers sometimes won't fill in the gap of personality and attitude. If there is not a welcoming attitude during the call or answering an email I will assume that I won't find a welcoming attitude during the meeting. You call it testing. I call it filling in a gap, because ads can't convey a friendly voice or a sweet personality, and not all providers have enough reviews so as to get out of them the lady's general attitude.

I am not complaining, simply stating that I don't like that behavior and it doesn't get a good response from me. There is no reason for me to make you feel welcome if you're not booking.

It is testing because not only do you want these questions answered but your decision to book is dependent on the reaction you get from asking a bunch of questions without expressing an interest in booking.

And yes ads can absolutely convey personality. We obviously disagree, I was expressing a feeling based on your post not complaining. But it wouldn't kill you to contemplate the position of the provider who is answering your questions and not getting your time for an appointment.

[geecue2]

 

I prefer to be contacted by Phone just for the sole purpose that I can speak to whom is inquiring. Because your clearly calling me for a reason and can ask about anything. I can answer Yes, No & Maybe so... And if you are calling you clearly read my ad.

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend any gentleman.

Maybe one thing to consider, I personally would say that 95% of the ladies do not answer their phones. Booking is always done by text. It is tough for me especially when seeing a new lady, not hearing her voice until you open the door.

[Bora Bora]

It is testing because not only do you want these questions answered but your decision to book is dependent on the reaction you get from asking a bunch of questions without expressing an interest in booking.

I never said without expressing and interest in booking. Besides, the call in itself tells about the interest in booking, the genuine questions I was mentioning also show the obviously interest in booking.

Being said that, I have no more comments .

[Lucy Kitten]

I never said without expressing and interest in booking. Besides, the call in itself tells about the interest in booking, the genuine questions I was mentioning also show the obviously interest in booking.

Being said that, I have no more comments .

My last nitpick

"I ask a few questions before even thinking in a date and time." This is what set me off. If you don't have a date and time in mind they why spend the time? The call doesn't express real interest without a real time in mind. What to you are genuine questions to a provider are often time wasting when it doesn't come with booking an appointment. The number of guys that do this is frustrating and no matter how genuine your questions are you will at least by me be lumped in with the time wasters. There are too many that window shop and time waste that's it's impossible to pick out those who have good intentions.

 

[gr8horse]

When I make my first contact I seldom have an exact day or time that I would like to book. I contact a provider that I have decided I would like to visit when the opportunity arises.  My first contact is to discover if the information I am able to provide is adequate for verification. I do try to be concise as I am cognizant of the time waster label. I never ask about services or amenities, it is important to know what area of the city the appt. will be held. Sometimes I get the impression that a provider is not interested unless I a good to go with time and date. However recently this question and subsequent conversation via text led to a great appt. Her sense of humor, flirtatious manner and her keeping the dialogue open led me to take some risk and sneak out of the office for a long lunch. My question is .... By in large is this proper protocol?  Or should I be better prepared when making the first move. By the way thank you to one of the most respected providers on this site for remembering me and providing a reference long after I had seen her. Stellar!!

[Guest]

When I first started in this biz it was customary to chat back and forth, usually by phone though. I am still that way. If I get too many back and forth messages, I will ask you to call me. It is more personal, saves time etc. I really do not get messages on P411 except appointment requests, but when I do, I ask them to call me. So it may be prudent to let the guy know right off the bat that you prefer to be called or that you do not like to e mail back and forth so much.

The rules keep changing all the time, and varies from person to person, I can understand why people get confused. If you stay the same, there is less confusion.

[Scarlett Dayne]

I personally enjoy all the chit chat back and forth. It is extremely useful in getting to know and find out more about a man before I decide to meet him or not.

Are there a ton of men who choose to waste our time just to have a conversation with us knowing full well they will never actually go through with making, keeping and having a date with us? Yes, lol, Ohhh Yes. Over time you learn to figure out those who are serious, and those who are just time wasters.

However for the most part...

It's a Tango we must dance because the escort business should be a matter of safety, fun, connection and figuring out if we are going to be a good match for each other. I am extremely cautious about what kind of person I allow into my personal space. I do not enjoy seeing men who are rude, cocky, abusive, complain incessantly or those who have a constant negative energy swirling around their being. 

Sure it would be super easy to just shoot me a day and time to get together, set it up the date and simply just show up. However I do not see everyone. I only see those who I feel I will enjoy their company. I am not french fries at McDonald's where anyone can just drive up and consume. I am for a specific kind of gentleman, and I refuse to accept anything less than what I desire in a date.

I made a decision a while back to only do what I enjoy in the escort business. Ever since making that change I have been a lot more happy and satisfied finding that I now enjoy each and every date I embark upon. This is what life is about... Enjoyment. Not forcing yourself to endure something until the clock strikes, "The date is now over so get off me please." LOL.

I Enjoy What I Do Because I Am Intentional With My Actions... ;-)

[Lucy Kitten]

When I make my first contact I seldom have an exact day or time that I would like to book. I contact a provider that I have decided I would like to visit when the opportunity arises.  My first contact is to discover if the information I am able to provide is adequate for verification. I do try to be concise as I am cognizant of the time waster label. I never ask about services or amenities, it is important to know what area of the city the appt. will be held. Sometimes I get the impression that a provider is not interested unless I a good to go with time and date. However recently this question and subsequent conversation via text led to a great appt. Her sense of humor, flirtatious manner and her keeping the dialogue open led me to take some risk and sneak out of the office for a long lunch. My question is .... By in large is this proper protocol?  Or should I be better prepared when making the first move. By the way thank you to one of the most respected providers on this site for remembering me and providing a reference long after I had seen her. Stellar!!

Your text led to an appointment which makes all the difference. Too often the conversation starters never book and so there is less interest in answering those questions. I do suggest being better prepared when making the first move, we have schedules and maybes are hard to schedule around.

You seem like a pretty nice guy but I am hesitant about the provider that gives a reference long after seeing someone. I recently refused a reference because I haven't seen the guy in three years. So much could have changed in three years.

[gr8horse]

A few months felt like a long time to me. So nothing close to years. And yes I graciously accept the fact that if I am trying to book on relatively short notice my chances are greatly diminished. My life in the larger perspective is not changed much based on whether or not my schedule collides or gels. Cold showers aren't much fun and not all that effective come to think of it, but it is sometimes the only answer. 

[inkspot]

The more I think about this thread, the more off base it sounds.  I have had many a provider contact me out of the blue often trying to entice me to be a new client.  Sometime it would be in response to a post or when joining a new board.  Sometimes I scheduled with them, sometimes not.

I got an idea of what the person was like by communicating with them.  It goes both ways.

Gez, what a shallow thought if I contacted a provider only when I wanted to schedule an appointment.

[Lucy Kitten]

To all who think idle chit-chat isn't time wasting, can I have your work number? You know just to say hi and ask a few questions? And maybe we can get together sometime in the future. Maybe.