Mustang87

Who knows what you do?

58 posts in this topic

A recent topic about meeting other hobbiests got me thinking.  No one outside of the hobby knows anything about my involvement in the hobby.  I've never told anyone for the obviously reason, although I do know a couple of people I probably could bring it up to with no negative consequences.  My question, how many other hobbiest talk about, or share their experiences with outsiders?

Edited by Mustang87
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Besides those 'in' the hobby mentioned in the previous thread?

My former HS roommate knew. We shared stories, ladies, etc. He was my wingman, and I his.  But he has since passed on. 

One of my three sisters knows that I partake in professional companionship, but no details. A few other family members are aware of my clothing optional adventures. 

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My question, how many other hobbiest talk about, or share their experiences with outsiders?

Not me. In my case there's no need to do that. That's what this Forum is for.

Besides, it would create potential privacy problems in the future, because... you never know...

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My 2 closest friends know, and one of them hobbies too. We all 3 went to a Rockies game and he brought a female "friend" with him and it just so happens that I had seen that same "friend". That's how that came about and how we know about each other. But previous to that, and still to this day, nobody else knows. 

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I'm new to this but so far just me. Wait corrections me and a couple ladies I've seen on TOB. Someday it might change since it's not that I'm adverse to sharing this but so far it hasn't come up in conversation.

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My best friend knows. Although interested, he's not in a the right financial situation to play - maybe in the next year or so. Even then, I'm curious to know how he deals with the whole thing. My SO and I believe he's kind of f'd up as far women goes. Ah, but maybe that's why he needs the hobby :rolleyes:

Except for the one time, he doesn't ask me about it.

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I have a single friend I have introduced into the hobby.  We were talking over beers one night after work.  He laid out all the female problems he was having.  Then he pulled out his phone and brought up backpage.  He said he knew I would think he was scum, because if he knew which were real and which were cops, he would call one on a heartbeat.  He was too scared to try.  At least he was smart and cautious.

I took his phone from him, and scrolled down 'till I found a lady I'd seen.  I said, "this one is a wildcat."  He got real quiet and just stared at me. I pulled out my phone, brought up P411, and showed him all my "oks" including one from the lady on backpage. The look on his face was so comical, both doubtful and hopeful at the same time.  I just called the lady immediately right there in front of him, explained the situation, and set up a double date.  She for him and her friend for me.  One week later we all got together....and the rest is history.  

That was fun.

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Funny, just last week I had two referrals from different men. The first, was an outcall and as I was getting ready to leave, he asked me to go to his co-worker! The second was some just out of college guy, and I had a feeling that his friend whom I had seen earlier that day sent him my way, and I was right. They all didn't seem to give a rat's ass who they told. 

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Funny, just last week I had two referrals from different men. The first, was an outcall and as I was getting ready to leave, he asked me to go to his co-worker! The second was some just out of college guy, and I had a feeling that his friend whom I had seen earlier that day sent him my way, and I was right. They all didn't seem to give a rat's ass who they told. 

Sharing is caring!;)

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Much of this business is word of mouth...or it used to be. Still is in my book...;) I refer clients to other providers I think they would match with, and clients refer their friends to me. Works all around.

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I was having lunch with a buddy a year or so ago and he said something that made me think he might at least be aware of the hobby.  I then said something that might have given him the idea I was aware of the hobby.  Then by mutual, silent agreement, we changed the subject and never revisited it.

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I was having lunch with a buddy a year or so ago and he said something that made me think he might at least be aware of the hobby.  I then said something that might have given him the idea I was aware of the hobby.  Then by mutual, silent agreement, we changed the subject and never revisited it.

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It has become the new weed out tool for people in my life, friends or men I date. "Hi my name is ______, What are your feelings about escorts and the people who see them?"

If their answer is positive, they are welcome in my life. If not, don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out.

 

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Half the fun for me is to step out of my mundane ordinary middle-class life and step through the looking glass into my own adrenaline-charged private world, populated with young*, beautiful, sexy women who are willing to have wild, unbridled sex with me for an hour, and then I shower and step back through the looking glass into my mundane ordinary middle-class life.  It is a totally private adventure, just for me, and I think talking to anyone about it would diminish it.

Of course that is just my opinion and I am a very private, slutty, adrenaline junky.

*  that is, younger than me, which is just about everyone.

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Half the fun for me is to step out of my mundane ordinary middle-class life and step through the looking glass into my own adrenaline-charged private world, populated with young*, beautiful, sexy women who are willing to have wild, unbridled sex with me for an hour, and then I shower and step back through the looking glass into my mundane ordinary middle-class life.  It is a totally private adventure, just for me, and I think talking to anyone about it would diminish it.

Of course that is just my opinion and I am a very private, slutty, adrenaline junky.

*  that is, younger than me, which is just about everyone.

Step back into the looking glass, a lot of women want the same. Just ask...life is short!

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Half the fun for me is to step out of my mundane ordinary middle-class life and step through the looking glass into my own adrenaline-charged private world, populated with young*, beautiful, sexy women who are willing to have wild, unbridled sex with me for an hour, and then I shower and step back through the looking glass into my mundane ordinary middle-class life.  It is a totally private adventure, just for me, and I think talking to anyone about it would diminish it.

Of course that is just my opinion and I am a very private, slutty, adrenaline junky.

*  that is, younger than me, which is just about everyone.

:lol: Sorry, I'm laughing to myself - the number of times I personally would use those words to describe a hobby session could be counted on one hand. Don't get me wrong - I thoroughly enjoy the majority of my encounters but "wild, unbridled" requires (for me) someone with a fair amount of kink and a rare amount of stamina on my part. Just not that into the kink that much anymore. And stamina? pffft

But, as you say, it's your private world ;)

I'm more likely to share experiences with other providers than with knowledgeable friends or acquaintances. Even then, that's risky. I try to avoid the subject. When I do share, I try to stick to the positives and avoid dissing people.

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Stupidly left my ho laptop open around my nosy bitch older sister without locking it (went to the bathroom) and noticed some emails I hadn't read yet were grayed out meaning they'd been read. I asked her and another relative if they'd touched my computer and they both said no (she lied poorly). A few weeks later on during an argument she tried to blast me in front of our maternal grandmother (who luckily wasn't really even paying attention to her rant). This was over 2 yrs ago and as far as I know not another soul knows. I'm not out in the escort sense to anyone else in my civvie life.

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All my closest friends are providers. I have (let me swirl the mental Contacts list) two precious civilian girlfriends who are able to know. I chose them each with excruciating care. Rehearsed what I would say. Found the right moments for telling each of them. Both said they had figured it out already.

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Interesting question, and for me the answer is nobody knows except a great individual who I met on this board. I have met this hobbying veteran (way way way more adventures than me) on a few occasions in person for coffee, and our conversation is radically different from anything I've encountered. I can talk about my ice cold wife and ask him about the hot women he's had the pleasure to be with. Other than that, no one knows, and that is why I almost need this board. There is one possible friend that I maybe could tell, but maybe not, so I would not take that risk. 

I think we all perhaps forget how reviled and disgusted most people are by this hobby. We should not underestimate that level of disgust, because it's real. 

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Aside from a provider I met in the "real world" when our  jobs crossed paths -- it was an interesting two hour meeting! (Everything is cool and we've laughed about it on a subsequent appointment.)

Telling even a close friend would mean telling their spouse and their spouse's best friend and so on and on. I don't think people could keep quiet. Maybe some, but you know a couple of glasses of wine or a few beers and "Hey, would you ever guess that Bob visits escorts?" Then boom goes the dynamite...

Recently, some of the guys were shooting the bull and something along the lines of "$2500 an hour sounds like a Vegas hooker!" came flying out of some guy's piehole. I bit my tongue and thought, "Oh, I bet there are a number of fine ladies I know would be very please with that sort of donation."

The "real" world, indeed....

Edited by Yogi
typos, syntax
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Telling even a close friend would mean telling their spouse and their spouse's best friend and so on and on. I don't think people could keep quiet. Maybe some, but you know a couple of glasses of wine or a few beers and "Hey, would you ever guess that Bob visits escorts?" Then boom goes the dynamite...

 

Yep. Someone who came over recognized me as being a friend of a mutual friend, but I didn't have a clue and he never mentioned anything. Out went the discretion.

The next time I hung out with the mutual friend alone, she told me that she knew what I was doing and how she found out. Guess he told his biz too, but WHY?!

 

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Yep. Someone who came over recognized me as being a friend of a mutual friend, but I didn't have a clue and he never mentioned anything. Out went the discretion.

The next time I hung out with the mutual friend alone, she told me that she knew what I was doing and how she found out. Guess he told his biz too, but WHY?!

 

Have you determined which client it was?  He needs to get his pee-pee slapped for outing you, that's pretty fucked up.

I'm curious how the conversation with your friend went?

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Have you determined which client it was?  He needs to get his pee-pee slapped for outing you, that's pretty fucked up.

I'm curious how the conversation with your friend went?

I barely took the time to think about who told, but the conversation is very memorable. 

I knew that my friend was about to say something heavy when she took a deep breathe, tucked her lips in, and closed her eyes. Then came, "One of your johns..." After she spoke, I felt more uneasy about having that conversation and being in a moment of confrontation, than her actually knowing.

My immediate response was defensive and explanatory. She didn't want to hear any of it, so I caved to her pleas for me to quit with a "I'll try" or something like that, only because I didn't want to talk about it anymore, and I wanted her to calm down.

Since then, I've been extremely open with what I do. I've even told a few of my girlfriends exactly how I do it, along with special and new places to touch the men in their lives.

As for the first friend who found out, we've never spoke about the topic again. 

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+1!  I think my friends would be shocked and upset, but at the same time jealous if they new what I was up to.  Only a few trusted providers know my real name, as I've hosted a few times when my wife was out of town.  I've never shared my hobby with any male though. I'm a risk taker but not if there is not a payoff to taking a risk, only a liability.  Seeing an escort has quite a nice payoff; talking about my hobby with another guy is a risk without much benefit. 

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...  talking about my hobby with another guy is a risk without much benefit. 

Not much benefit? WTF are you doing here?

The same benefits you get from discussing the topic on TOB (& similar boards) can be obtained in a frank conversation with a friend: reviews, referrals, best practices, etc. One of the advantages of discussing these with a friend is that he (or she) has a better understanding of your tastes than John Q poster and has your best interests at heart.

Are there risks? Sure! Do you ever step off the curb?

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Not much benefit? WTF are you doing here?

The same benefits you get from discussing the topic on TOB (& similar boards) can be obtained in a frank conversation with a friend: reviews, referrals, best practices, etc. One of the advantages of discussing these with a friend is that he (or she) has a better understanding of your tastes than John Q poster and has your best interests at heart.

Are there risks? Sure! Do you ever step off the curb?

This is a much better place because it is anonymous and even close friends may not be trustworthy. I have one friend that I could tell but I won't because he has a big mouth and doesn't think before he speaks. He wouldn't intentionally say anything to out me but it could easily slip out. I have another friend that is very religious and would out me to my wife and then beg me to attend church with him.

Nobody knows about this and I intend to keep it that way for now. That might change when my wife divorces me because then it won't matter as much.

 

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For me,

no, nope, no one, not gonna cross over into the "real word" .. Taking very cautious ant thought out steps to avoid it....  This is a personal and private "treat" for me ...  I have plenty of things that I share with others in my life.  This won't be one of them...

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Not much benefit? WTF are you doing here?

The same benefits you get from discussing the topic on TOB (& similar boards) can be obtained in a frank conversation with a friend: reviews, referrals, best practices, etc. One of the advantages of discussing these with a friend is that he (or she) has a better understanding of your tastes than John Q poster and has your best interests at heart.

Are there risks? Sure! Do you ever step off the curb?

You don't have to remind me about risk-taking as I, like all of us here, engage in an illegal activity that would be additionally upsetting or humorous to friends and, as others have pointed out, might lead to my outing intentionally or otherwise. I would be happy to talk with another hobbiest in real life but I don't know any. I enjoy talking to providers about my and their experience in this very interesting and weird hobby world but I will not discuss this with even my lifelong friends. Assuming they're not hobbiests, there's no benefit trying to help them understand my "aberrant" behavior.  But sharing thoughts and experiences with so many hobbiests and providers on this board has been very much appreciated.  And if I ever hear a friend mention "UTF" or "CIM" I'll know he might be a brother 😊

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I once thought "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas".      I have sense learned that "loose lips sinks ships" is 1000X more true. 

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