YourmyfavoriteASP

The wife is ready

18 posts in this topic

The wife has come around. She is willing to try a threesome. So, whom do you suggest I contact?  I think for both of us to be comfortable we need a ASP in her 30s or 40s. What are your thoughts? Do you recommend someone? Do you wanna join us?  Oh, and I wanna be fair. I want my wife to enjoy another man. Thoughts on that?

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Number one rule in my opinion when I've done this is that the woman picks. She gets to make the choice so that she feels comfortable. You don't need your wife wondering if you think that girl is prettier or better or whatever and that's why you picked her. You need to make sure she has total control over every part of this or the big green eyed monster my come a callin. Be prepared for the visiting woman to be several rungs below your wife possibly. You and the chosen woman will be there to make your wife happy and you will be happy through that. The biggest key is comfort for your wife. Oh and when it comes to the man guess what. She gets to choose that one also if your smart. 

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Sounds like you should consider hooking up with another couple. Maybe try Kasidie or visit Scarlett Ranch. A word of advice...if by "the wife has come around" you mean she has finally given in after years of you trying to convince her to try this?...don't do it. 

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Number one rule in my opinion when I've done this is that the woman picks. She gets to make the choice so that she feels comfortable. You don't need your wife wondering if you think that girl is prettier or better or whatever and that's why you picked her. You need to make sure she has total control over every part of this or the big green eyed monster my come a callin. Be prepared for the visiting woman to be several rungs below your wife possibly. You and the chosen woman will be there to make your wife happy and you will be happy through that. The biggest key is comfort for your wife. Oh and when it comes to the man guess what. She gets to choose that one also if your smart. 

This is key! It all boils down to making sure she is comfortable with the other Woman. 

And have a blast!!!! :wub:

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Damn, I wish I wasn't retired sometimes 😜 I'm not familiar with many of the ladies on this board nowadays, but I'm sure there are some wonderful ASP's on here who would love to see you and your wife.  Just do your research and find someone who genuinely loves what she does and you and your wife will have a great time!  

But if you would like another man involved, I would also recommend you both go to the Scarlet Ranch.  They have some great parties and there are lots of attractive couples and single females there.

Kasidie is also a great sight. You can peruse member profiles, and there's a also a party section. There's always lots of naughty fun things going on around town!  For example, last Saturday I went to this awards show. Great entertainment and the after party was FUN!!!  😜🔥💦 

 

Good luck!!! 😘💕💕💕

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Edited by Sweet Ashley
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Who, what, when and where is this Scarlett Ranch?

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First of all, your wife is a keeper. I envy you, and I suspect others share my opinion on that. I'm thinking your wife wants to explore the lesbian side of life and my oh my you will have fun watching that. I wish I could help you in your search, but I don't know enough people in this hobby. Good luck and have fun. I will say that the Scarlett Ranch swinger idea does NOT seem to be what you're after. Sounds like you want a hand-picked woman/man, and not a random person at a swinger's gathering. But hey, whatever works. Good luck! 

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First of all, your wife is a keeper. I envy you, and I suspect others share my opinion on that. I'm thinking your wife wants to explore the lesbian side of life and my oh my you will have fun watching that. I wish I could help you in your search, but I don't know enough people in this hobby. Good luck and have fun. I will say that the Scarlett Ranch swinger idea does NOT seem to be what you're after. Sounds like you want a hand-picked woman/man, and not a random person at a swinger's gathering. But hey, whatever works. Good luck!

I agree with Pitbull on this one.

My wife and I have played together a number of times, it really comes down to what and who she is comfortable with. Let her choose, there are a lot of things to consider and only the two of you know what you are looking for. I would not choose Scarlet Ranch for a first time encounter, just my 2 cents. Too much going on.

Oh yeah...like Pit said,you will have fun being the spectator for a while. Once you join in? Hang on to your hat!

Have fun!

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I will agree with the others on this one. anytime I have had the pleasure of enjoying a couple, I have always told the husband, the wife is the boss at all times over all things. I like to spend time chatting with the wife before hand making sure she knows those rules as well. I always tell the couple that they need to make sure they have their own ground rules known. Females are very jealous creatures even if it is something they say they want. On the first time you do this, I would almost say that you ignore the other girl and make sure your wife is the one getting all the attention. I know that when I am with a couple, if I do not have too much interaction with the husband things go off without a hitch. You gotta make sure that you're not using this as an excuse to just be with another woman. Just my two cents. Been with dozens of couples over the years in and OUT of the hobby.

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LOLS the real catch is that she is willing to "try". I kid, but only kind of. Did she yield to your persistence? Did you suggest to her that you hire a pro? If she's not totally into it and just willing to try then it's baby steps all the way. Joining Kasidie is a great idea, let her check out the scene . I haven't been to the Scarlet Ranch so I can't speak to that but I have really enjoyed the Mon Chalet. You can get a room room or enjoy the pool, you can enjoy others or not. Oh and definitely discuss beforehand what's ok and not ok during playtime.

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The Mon Chalet is great place if you love to swim naked. The rooms are awesome to play in, but the beds are not comfortable to sleep in for overnight.

The Scarlet Ranch has several BIG parties through out the year. Thursday nights is ladies night. The Halloween Costume party is super fun too. They have Exclusive Travel for members. 

 

Living the lifestyle of a swinger without threatening to fracture your relationship and communicating with your partner is the most important issue at hand. 

1. Consider this part educating yourself. Set up an online account as a couples page. Both of you have the password. Its good idea to read other couples profiles. This will help you see all the different types of swingers. Soft swap, full swap, no swap, MF-F only, no single men, some couples allow single men, couples only and even BI or gay.  

2. Best if you two make your first few times swinging observing. Don't set any rules or expectations for yourselves yet. Meet other couples and introduce yourselves. Making friends is the key. Now you both have a really good feel of your soundings and what to expect. Don't persuade your partner, find out what they themselves really want and don't want. Don't act on anything yet.

3. Now you have familiarized yourself. Perfect time to talk about your temporary rules and temporary expectations. The reason I say temporary is because people sometimes have a change in heart while in the midst of things. Or you may experience something that one or both of you don't like or enjoy. You can change those as you go and as you both become more comfortable.

4. Boundaries are very important to not just you but to there couples as well.  You want to avoid is being that couple who arrives at parties, and then one of them pisses his or her partner off. This can bring on jealously or hurt feelings. 

5. Bring different brands and sizes of condoms and lube. You would be surprised how many of the gentlemen don't bring condoms. :eek: And they ready to nail your wife without one. Even as a swinger you have to protect yourself from STD/HIV.

6. For the guy- don't drink too much alcohol, you may find yourself unable to perform. 

7. You can minimize rejection by going slow.

8. Mostly swingers respect one another and no means no.

9. You will need to be extremely discreet. There are married men and women who secretly attend these events and their spouse has no idea. Never become offensive if they won't tell you anything about their real lives. Don't be surprised if someone you know shows up.

10. Don't make dates with people you meet outside the club without your SO knowledge. You cant come back from that. Let your wife choose who she is comfortable with. Because your going to want the same in return. 

PS I hope this Helps. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Nikki Holiday
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Oh, and I wanna be fair. I want my wife to enjoy another man. Thoughts on that?

I know of a few men who are perfect for this when your both ready. 

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Squirrel Creek Lodge

It appears they've changed their name. 

"Happy Nut Hunting!"

Try this link...the one above doesn't really describe what you will find if you actually go. 

http://www.scarletranch.com/

Sunday afternoons are a good time for a first visit. The cover is lower and the beer is included.

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Sumbitch, lived in Denver my whole life, have been a slut the whole time and never heard of this place.  Need to get a date and check it out!

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The Mon Chalet is great place if you love to swim naked. The rooms are awesome to play in, but the beds are not comfortable to sleep in for overnight.

The Scarlet Ranch has several BIG parties through out the year. Thursday nights is ladies night. The Halloween Costume party is super fun too. They have Exclusive Travel for members. 

 

Living the lifestyle of a swinger without threatening to fracture your relationship and communicating with your partner is the most important issue at hand. 

1. Consider this part educating yourself. Set up an online account as a couples page. Both of you have the password. Its good idea to read other couples profiles. This will help you see all the different types of swingers. Soft swap, full swap, no swap, MF-F only, no single men, some couples allow single men, couples only and even BI or gay.  

2. Best if you two make your first few times swinging observing. Don't set any rules or expectations for yourselves yet. Meet other couples and introduce yourselves. Making friends is the key. Now you both have a really good feel of your soundings and what to expect. Don't persuade your partner, find out what they themselves really want and don't want. Don't act on anything yet.

3. Now you have familiarized yourself. Perfect time to talk about your temporary rules and temporary expectations. The reason I say temporary is because people sometimes have a change in heart while in the midst of things. Or you may experience something that one or both of you don't like or enjoy. You can change those as you go and as you both become more comfortable.

4. Boundaries are very important to not just you but to there couples as well.  You want to avoid is being that couple who arrives at parties, and then one of them pisses his or her partner off. This can bring on jealously or hurt feelings. 

5. Bring different brands and sizes of condoms and lube. You would be surprised how many of the gentlemen don't bring condoms. :eek: And they ready to nail your wife without one. Even as a swinger you have to protect yourself from STD/HIV.

6. For the guy- don't drink too much alcohol, you may find yourself unable to perform. 

7. You can minimize rejection by going slow.

8. Mostly swingers respect one another and no means no.

9. You will need to be extremely discreet. There are married men and women who secretly attend these events and their spouse has no idea. Never become offensive if they won't tell you anything about their real lives. Don't be surprised if someone you know shows up.

10. Don't make dates with people you meet outside the club without your SO knowledge. You cant come back from that. Let your wife choose who she is comfortable with. Because your going to want the same in return. 

PS I hope this Helps. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As a swinger, I have to say that Nikki pretty much nailed it with her list. 

Whenever anyone asks me about the lifestyle I always say that communication is #1. I've seen the lifestyle make or break relationships and there really isn't a middle ground, you both must be all in (happily) or it won't work. And never ever take one for the team, that will only cause regret and resentment. 

I love the lifestyle and am happy to answer any questions about it if anyone is looking for help or guidance. 

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I suggest letting your fun wife pick out the woman she feels she will connect with the most. If she has fun during the threesome then you are sure to enjoy this fun as well. That way you aren't held accountable at the end for picking someone she feels you like/want/desire more than your wife. Let her feel like she is in Control of the entire situation. Make her the Queen Bee, let her do the directing (lol) and you are all most likely assured to have a successful first time threesome. Hope it all works out to be a Great Time Had By All ;-)

Edited by Scarlett Dayne
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