Posted June 12, 2015 (edited) Thats right Men! It's YOUR turn to advertise. A bit of reversal of roles. The Gentleman who choose to participate will be the provider. Here's how this works: Post an ad within this thread with pics (obviously not real ones)List your ratesServices/MenuTell us why YOU stand out above the rest Ladies: Now's your chance to think with your imaginary magic stick but very real wishing well. You can givem crap about fake pictures, photo shopped pics, old - not current or accurate picsNCNSTheir donation Should you TOFTT?If you've partaken in the fruit, write a mini review. NO FANTASTICS ALLOWED! **This topic has been pre-approved by The Admin Gods/Goddess. This thread is meant to be fun and laced with sarcasm.** Edited June 12, 2015 by Justina Carter Bolding 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Justina! Excellent Thread! Thank you for the opportunity! ReAl LiVe MaN!!! Hi! I'm Matt! Ladies, Are you tired of Pretty boys with their petty, whiney, attitudes and their cute little dicks? You know, the kind that get facials, and manicures, and drive European sports cars? Well, spend some time with a real guy. I don't look like much, and I'm usually dirty and sweaty from hard work. I fart and belch when I need to. Cuss, too! And I always scratch where it itches. I call a jack a jack and a spade a spade, but I always treat a woman like a lady. And I clean up real nice, too! I will arrive in my late-model, $75,000 pick-up truck to take you out on the town. I will be nicely dressed in your presence, clean and fresh, no matter how many hours it takes. When we're together, I will ask you about your day, and I will LISTEN, too, all the while rubbing your feet and any other tired spots on your body. And when you are relaxed, I will take you the way a woman wants to be taken, using my hands, my tongue, and all 8.5 inches of my manhood. Call me NOW 1-800-get-laid $300 per hour, $1,800 overnight, with a minimum of 6 orgasms guaranteed! $150 wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am 15 minute special 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Hmmm... Really? Go on... She said what?!? You don't say... And then what happened? $300/hour. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Hi Matt! Your pictures intrigued me, but tineye reveals thousands of hits, you really get around. On that note you mentioned that you scratch when you have an itch. Is that due to you having crabs or some other kind of std? In your first pic you are carrying a mighty big gun and you later mention your big pickup, followed by the bragging hint at a large member, are you compensating? I also noticed that you do not have a location mentioned in your ad. Can you tell me where you are at so that I can stalk you before I decide to TOFTT. Cross streets are fine as well because a 75K truck can't be that hard to spot. Also I am curious about your hourly rate. I only have $200 to spend but I promise I am well worth it, in fact, you may even end up giving me a refund and want to become my lover. Honestly, I am just looking to find my soul mate, and you might just be the one for me. I do not have any references, but I promise I am not LE, and I am the best lover you will ever experience. Love your future ex wife LMAO that was fun! Great thread Justina Justina! Excellent Thread! Thank you for the opportunity! ReAl LiVe MaN!!! Hi! I'm Matt! Ladies, Are you tired of Pretty boys with their petty, whiney, attitudes and their cute little dicks? You know, the kind that get facials, and manicures, and drive European sports cars? Well, spend some time with a real guy. I don't look like much, and I'm usually dirty and sweaty from hard work. I fart and belch when I need to. Cuss, too! And I always scratch where it itches. I call a jack a jack and a spade a spade, but I always treat a woman like a lady. And I clean up real nice, too! I will arrive in my late-model, $75,000 pick-up truck to take you out on the town. I will be nicely dressed in your presence, clean and fresh, no matter how many hours it takes. When we're together, I will ask you about your day, and I will LISTEN, too, all the while rubbing your feet and any other tired spots on your body. And when you are relaxed, I will take you the way a woman wants to be taken, using my hands, my tongue, and all 8.5 inches of my manhood. Call me NOW 1-800-get-laid $300 per hour, $1,800 overnight, with a minimum of 6 orgasms guaranteed! $150 wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am 15 minute special 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Good Morning , Are you tired of not getting the love you need and want? For the low, low, cheap at twice the price you can spend a loving hour with the man of you dreams. I am well endowed with 68 hh and long flowing hair. I smell of fresh b o and sweat like no other. Last few day in town!!! Catch me while you can!!! Call Tiny 1800 BIG-Love 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Come on, LITE MY FIRE! I'm frisky and ready since my releese from the boy's dorm in El Paso. I've been to collage and speek many languages <wink>. I'm 4'10" - but length isn't everything. Looking for an NSA relationship. Could you be the 1? No thugs, pimps, or vulger language. If you are a cop, please don't waist my time. Call 1-800-dik-head and ask for Randy 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Biggest brothel in Colorado! All kinds of service for just a vote! Give it to us and we will stick it to someone else. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Biggest brothel in Colorado! All kinds of service for just a vote! Give it to us and we will stick it to someone else. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Fred Garvin Male Prostitute 24/7 Up all night if you want me too Cheap and Easy Willing to Discuss Call 123-231-DICK Ext 222 Room 111 This is my old ad and pic, guess its time to take new ones. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Fred Garvin Male Prostitute 24/7 Up all night if you want me too Cheap and Easy Willing to Discuss Call 123-231-DICK Ext 222 Room 111 This is my old ad and pic, guess its time to take new ones. ^^^ Any ladies looking for a guy to "Roger you Roundly," this is the guy. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Hi Matt! Your pictures intrigued me, but.... Game, set, match. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 HeY ALl yUO H:rolleyes:rni Gaaaalzz!!!!!! :)I aM a ONE of a kINd STUD wiTh a PaKCAGe U kaN't bELievEEE!:) oNlY In toWN 4 ONE niGHt cAll 234-567-8901 or My Old Nember 345-678-9010 AnD b sURe to Aks fo BILLY HMU now BABE I WANT YOU (no AA, BB, or CC) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 (edited) And they take trades too! Some have already taken cash. [sarcasm font off] I can't find any good reviews. Edited June 12, 2015 by Johnboy#1 Add 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 12, 2015 Put your money where your mouth is and schedule a paid appointment with the guy who writes the funniest ad. Then post the review. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 13, 2015 Was that a gauntlet I just heard Can we see your ad 2Big? Put your money where your mouth is and schedule a paid appointment with the guy who writes the funniest ad. Then post the review. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 13, 2015 (edited) https://www.flickr.com/photos/unloveable/2400877902 one of these days I'll learn how to directly insert an image. Edited June 13, 2015 by Johnboy#1 add 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 13, 2015 I love the taste of a woman. I take pleasure in pleasing you. One hour of passionate intimacy $1.00 Two hours of passionate intimacy .50? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 Was that a gauntlet I just heard Put your money where your mouth is. Money talks, bullshit walks. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 You didn't quote my entire post 2Big. You left out "Can we see your ad 2Big?" I am a women that loves a good challenge. I would gladly turn the tables in the name of fair play, and also because I think this is a brilliant idea of Justina's. There are only a few posts, I like to have options too you know. I was waiting to decide until I saw your ad 2Big. I would also like to see your menu. I love giving Greek as much as receiving it. I have a new strap-on I need to break in. Maybe I could name it 2Big Do you offer Greek or would that be extra? I am woman of my word, and I will gladly PM my favorite post to schedule an appointment, and leave a review. So, can we see your ad 2Big? I like a little preview before purchasing the merchandise. Put your money where your mouth is. Money talks, bullshit walks. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 I would also like to see your menu. I love giving Greek as much as receiving it. I have a new strap-on I need to break in. Maybe I could name it 2Big 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 Here's my menu: Foot rubbingDinner and bubble bath preparationListening (actually listening ) to you talk about your dayLetting you vent without immediately trying to fix every little problem you bring upHolding your purse while you shopWatching (insert latest chick flick here) with you and telling you I enjoyed it (without putting my hand in my waistband)Saying "your ass looks small in those pants" and "no, she isn't prettier than you"Not making you watch sportsTaking out the trash, mowing the lawn and changing the oilNot scratching myself for at least an hourGiving you a massage without assuming it will turn into sexTaking "no" for an answer without whining, complaining or pouting BONUS Fetish Option (only available to one customer at a time):We attend a short ceremony in front of a priest or a judge where we both promise to stand by each other till we die. Later, when you change your mind, you can have half my stuff. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 here's my menu: foot rubbingdinner and bubble bath preparationlistening (actually listening ) to you talk about your dayletting you vent without immediately trying to fix every little problem you bring upholding your purse while you shopwatching (insert latest chick flick here) with you and telling you i enjoyed it (without putting my hand in my waistband)saying "your ass looks small in those pants" and "no, she isn't prettier than you"not making you watch sportstaking out the trash, mowing the lawn and changing the oilnot scratching myself for at least an hourgiving you a massage without assuming it will turn into sextaking "no" for an answer without whining, complaining or pouting bonus fetish option (only available to one customer at a time):we attend a short ceremony in front of a priest or a judge where we both promise to stand by each other till we die. Later, when you change your mind, you can have half my stuff. ^ ^ ^ ^ +1 ^ ^ ^ ^ 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 Well, here's the real McCoy with a 10" snake: http://coloradosprings.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/new-to-colorado-10in-colorado-black-snake/18869691 Oh, I forgot to check to see if the photos are fakes. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 Damn, ain't no one here can compete with this ad. Doesn't matter what you look like! Here's my menu: Foot rubbingDinner and bubble bath preparationListening (actually listening ) to you talk about your dayLetting you vent without immediately trying to fix every little problem you bring upHolding your purse while you shopWatching (insert latest chick flick here) with you and telling you I enjoyed it (without putting my hand in my waistband)Saying "your ass looks small in those pants" and "no, she isn't prettier than you"Not making you watch sportsTaking out the trash, mowing the lawn and changing the oilNot scratching myself for at least an hourGiving you a massage without assuming it will turn into sexTaking "no" for an answer without whining, complaining or pouting BONUS Fetish Option (only available to one customer at a time):We attend a short ceremony in front of a priest or a judge where we both promise to stand by each other till we die. Later, when you change your mind, you can have half my stuff. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 Taking "no" for an answer without whining, complaining or pouting Better verify with other reviews. There is no way he is really offering this. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 Hi Matt! Your pictures intrigued me, funny shit Melissa!!!!!! There are only a few posts, I like to have options too you know. I was waiting to decide until I saw your ad 2Big. I would also like to see your menu. I love giving Greek as much as receiving it. I have a new strap-on I need to break in. Maybe I could name it 2Big Do you offer Greek or would that be extra? I am woman of my word, and I will gladly PM my favorite post to schedule an appointment, and leave a review. So, can we see your ad 2Big? I like a little preview before purchasing the merchandise. really funny shit Kashmir! I love your fire girl;)!!! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 ♥♥♥Real Man Fishing for your HEART♥♥♥ Ladies, If you're looking for a good time, look no farther! Clean, polite, handsome REAL GUY! BRING A COPY OF MY PHOTO. IF IT ISN'T ME IT'S FREE! 8.5" Love muscle you have to see to believe! 1-800-GET-LAID SPECIAL! I wrecked my fishing boat and need to get it repaired as soon as possible! This week only, 1 hour $275.00 NO STALKERS OR TIME WASTERS! If you can't pay, don't call! Time wasters and no shows will have their phone number and names written in men's rooms all across Denver with the words "for a good time call" above them. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 14, 2015 Hi Fred, I can tell from your ad that you are very intelligent, and your willing to discuss!! I know you will see the rational in my special request. Condoms just kill my "lady wood". I want you to have the best time possible. It really is about pleasing you, more than me. Would you consider BB? I promise I am clean, and I am also fixed (no babies, he he). When you think about it...It is like not having sex at all! Fred Garvin Male Prostitute 24/7 Up all night if you want me too Cheap and Easy Willing to Discuss Call 123-231-DICK Ext 222 Room 111 This is my old ad and pic, guess its time to take new ones. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 15, 2015 Wow Matt, That is so sad about your boat. I saw that you wrecked it last month too. I would love to help. The only thing is all my funds are in my business. If you are willing to meet me. I will have my secretary write you a cashiers check for your fee first thing in the morning. All I need is your name and address. SPECIAL! I wrecked my fishing boat and need to get it repaired as soon as possible! This week only, 1 hour $275.00 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 15, 2015 hi fred, i can tell from your ad that you are very intelligent, and your willing to discuss!! I know you will see the rational in my special request. Condoms just kill my "lady wood". I want you to have the best time possible. It really is about pleasing you, more than me. Would you consider bb? I promise i am clean, and i am also fixed (no babies, he he). When you think about it...it is like not having sex at all! lmao you crack me up. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
