My New Ass Policy: Effective Immediately!! - Ladies, feel free to implement

[Guest]

Aloha

I now wash every guy before we get started. So far I have only had 3 who still had shit in his ass crack! Sad part, they where not even embarrassed about their lack of hygiene.

BTW, I throw away those washcloths.

Yes, those showers DO count as part of your time and I use a tea tree oil soap, which is a natural antiseptic and leaves you tingling.

Now that sounds like a lot of fun!!! I wanna tingle!!!

*Thinking to myself* I wonder how the gals would feel if every guy they see insist they spread their legs and see if they pass the smell test.

I think you insult the intelligence of the members.

Run you business as you see fit.

Did I insult your intelligence before or after your grammar error?

[pitbull]

I have no clue how you ladies do what you do...but of course the guy needs to be scrubbed and power washed. Agreed.

[Jez UaBriain]

There is a very simple answer to this. every month you can post a "Clean your fucking incall" thread. you can add to that, dump the trash and ashtrays every 4 to 6 weeks even if they don't need it.

yea well , we don't fuck your ash trays, etc. And this is a recurring thread that does happen all to frequently. It is amazing that there are some who don't have the decency to clean themselves up before they visit with the ladies. I would be humiliated if it were me.

In all seriousness, If you guys want our faces to suck your dick, or lick your asshole then have enough respect to not NOT show up smelling like ass, or piss, or ball cheese. Or it ain't happening. I don't care if it is the last dollar on earth.

ps- if you keep running into dirty incalls, then maybe its time you raised your standards on who you lust after. Just saying...

[boink36]

yea well , we don't fuck your ash trays, etc. And this is a recurring thread that does happen all to frequently. It is amazing that there are some who don't have the decency to clean themselves up before they visit with the ladies. I would be humiliated if it were me.

In all seriousness, If you guys want our faces to suck your dick, or lick your asshole then have enough respect to not NOT show up smelling like ass, or piss, or ball cheese. Or it ain't happening. I don't care if it is the last dollar on earth.

ps- if you keep running into dirty incalls, then maybe its time you raised your standards on who you lust after. Just saying...

If every guy on this forum has a dirty ass as the OP clearly indicates, every provider on this forum has an ass dirty incall.

ps- Clean your incall.

[Jez UaBriain]

quote from boink- ps- Clean your incall.

sorry. I cannot, as I don't have one. :-D

[pitbull]

That's the fucking problem! Some dudes come in and shower, but somehow forget to use SOAP under their arms or on the perenial area between their balls and asshole. Or like you said they take a crap between their shower and our incall. Toilet paper and baby wipes don't cut it. That situation requires a whole new shower. Thank gosh this is the minority. Most of the guys are as self conscious as I am, and I appreciate that. Should we talk about smoking too? If you smoke, cool. Don't do it between your cleanup and my incall. If I seem like a bitch, oh well... I'm over adults with puss poor hygiene and no consideration. Peace

The most shocking thing about this thread is that Holly used profanity! What is the world coming to? As for the smoking, that's a great point. Cigarettes are almost as putrid as other odors.

[Guest]

The most shocking thing about this thread is that Holly used profanity! What is the world coming to?

This is what happens when you get tired of smelling shit!

*Thinking to myself* I wonder how the gals would feel if every guy they see insist they spread their legs and see if they pass the smell test. I think you insult the intelligence of the members. Run you business as you see fit.

Foul Asses & Foul Pussys.... should become united. Apperatly some hookers think it cool to fuck johns with a foul snatch. Some johns apparently think its cool to have steamy smelly ass.

WTF.... Try having a smelly ass when coming to see me. You'll shortly find out what happens. (My bare hand will wipe your ass, I will stick it your face and wipe it on your face, and say now what? Learn to check yourself.

Shit happens!!!

Shit goes both ways, so to speak. Or do you girls shit rosewater petals?

Shit goes both ways & foul snatch goes both ways. For those's who can't seem too wash themselves and check there pussy.... leaves me speechless.

[gr8owl]

And explain again why so many clients can't get any at home! Or elsewhere without paying!:eek: I kid. Kinda. OK not really.

What the fuck is so hard about asking the lady to allow you to clean up upon arrival? Hazard a guess it almost beats a tip to most.

[HappyHarryHardon]

Okay, I do not understand this at all. It sounds like there is a bunch of guys who don't wash. I find this hard to believe. I am sure it happens, but to this chronic of a scale? Ladies, if you are going to an outcall and you drive over 30 minutes to get to your appointment, do you ask the guy to take a shower? I doubt it.

I'm a regular guy, and shower in the morning right after. SO, if I take a shower and then an hour later get to a meeting with a provider, I can guarantee my ass does not smell. I have never had any complaints. If a lady wants me to shower, I will, but come on.

[Jez UaBriain]

Okay, I do not understand this at all. It sounds like there is a bunch of guys who don't wash. I find this hard to believe. I am sure it happens, but to this chronic of a scale? Ladies, if you are going to an outcall and you drive over 30 minutes to get to your appointment, do you ask the guy to take a shower? I doubt it.

I'm a regular guy, and shower in the morning right after. SO, if I take a shower and then an hour later get to a meeting with a provider, I can guarantee my ass does not smell. I have never had any complaints. If a lady wants me to shower, I will, but come on.

Harry, you would be surprised. I really think there are more scumbag guys; then there are scumbag, ripoff providers. Fortunately, most of you TOB guys are kind, hard -working, and decent. But in the real world some guys think we ladies are just cum dumpsters. Whores.Contrary to the fact that we could be somebody's sister, or mother, or even grand mother. And you would not want some guy showing up and treating them so disrespect

fully would you?

I was married for sixteen years to a guy who had a serious aversion to water. When we slept together I made him shower. Or it wasn't happening. period. There is nothing that can smell worse, and is a huge turn-off (exception being decomposition) then bad body odor, smelly ass and ball cheese.

Addressing the issue of dirty in calls. May I suggest you guys raise your lust standards. If you like going slumming, fine. But then don't bitch about the dirt. It's economics. Plain and simple.

Edited November 21, 2014 by Jez UaBriain
mis-spell

[HappyHarryHardon]

But in the real world some guys think we ladies are just cum dumpsters. Whores.Contrary to the fact that we could be somebody's sister, or mother, or even grand mother. And you would not want some guy showing up and treating them so disrespect

fully would you?

Hi Jez, No, I wouldn't want anyone to be disrespected ever, and thinking of the ladies as anything other than being there as a service is B.S. You ladies always deserve to be held in the highest respect. I understand that some guys act in a demeaning manner, and in my opinion they are pathetic. All I am saying is that if I go see a lady and she wants to take a towel to my ass, I am going to leave. Ask me to shower, but do not come off with the attitude that I am a sticky ass mother F&^%$# just because I am a guy.

Edited November 21, 2014 by Kaduk
[/QUOTE]

[fork]

I think any provider who indulges (if that's the right word) in TUMA should simply ask everyone to shower upon walking in the door. Simple.

Even if I have showered recently, I'm never opposed to another. It only takes a few minutes, and usually means I'm getting some extra-special attention. Some dickheads might get offended but if it's a policy that "every gentleman showers" then it's not a personal judgement against some delicate flower's ego.

[Bit Banger]

...

Even if I have showered recently, I'm never opposed to another....

Especially if she's willing to join me. Saving water can be sooooo much fun!

[harpo]

It is about time ....It is all over the world....is it conspiracy of toilet paper manufacturers ? lol

I am not saying this is the answer but it is helpful. Showering after number 2 is essential.

sometime I hate doggy because women TOO have their share of the aroma ..using the whole roll of toilet paper is not enough.

[2Big]

we could be somebody's grand mother.

[Guest]

It is about time ....It is all over the world....is it conspiracy of toilet paper manufacturers ? lol

I am not saying this is the answer but it is helpful. Showering after number 2 is essential.

sometime I hate doggy because women TOO have their share of the aroma ..using the whole roll of toilet paper is not enough.

This just made my day! xoxoxox

Okay, I do not understand this at all. It sounds like there is a bunch of guys who don't wash. I find this hard to believe. I am sure it happens, but to this chronic of a scale?

I am with you on this, +1 - I call bullshit on girls and this is based on my own experience. Iv been a high volume provider for many years. I have only had 2/3 guys who couldn't wash themselves properly. All the other men know how to wash their ass and smell awesome.

Ladies, if you are going to an outcall and you drive over 30 minutes to get to your appointment, do you ask the guy to take a shower? I doubt it. If a lady wants me to shower, I will, but come on.

You got a good point here. +1

Iv never asked a client if I could shower upon my arrival.But that is because I took a shower right before I left the house to see him. But when I arrive, I use the bathroom to freshen up and change, I usually bring my own kit of stuff.

Harry, you would be surprised. I really think there are more scumbag guys; then there are scumbag, ripoff providers.

I call bullshit, I am high volume provider, I don't have this problem. This is shit being blown up like fucking time bomb.

Fuck that.....secondly, I am with the guys on this on this one. The guys DONOT come and pay to see us hookers, to have a bunch bullshit fucking drama. And deal with more shit, than they already got at home. 99% of the guys will do anything you ask them to do. (again based on my experience)

But in the real world some guys think we ladies are just cum dumpsters. Whores. Contrary to the fact that we could be somebody's sister, or mother, or even grand mother. And you would not want some guy showing up and treating them so disrespect fully would you?

I find this funny, because its been my experience men love a good whore. Just saying! If you have people in your life who mistreat you, and treat you like shit... fuck em get rid of them. You won't have this problem. Don't worry about what other people think. Because then you become their bitch.

All FWB are whores, All girlfriends are whores, All wives are whores. All hookers providers escorts are whores. That?s why there?s a Valentine?s Day. That?s why car leases expire in 16 months instead of 12. It takes 16 months for SUV Roofies to wear off. My point is, all women are whores, and the last thing men want is a whore who doesn?t know how to do her job with a foul snatch.

I don't really mean everyone is whore... Now I'm being a smart ass, time to stop....

There is nothing that can smell worse, and is a huge turn-off (exception being decomposition) then bad body odor, smelly ass and ball cheese.

Bullshit, providers who see clients with foul fish like snatch pussy smells just as bad if not worse in some cases.

Addressing the issue of dirty in calls. May I suggest you guys raise your lust standards. If you like going slumming, fine. But then don't bitch about the dirt. It's economics. Plain and simple.

We have providers right here on this board who straight up LIE on there advertising, claim they don't smoke, it doesn't matter incall or outcall, they smell like an ash tray. I never knew how bad cigarettes smelled until I got sick with stage 1cancer and quit for good got my sense of smell back. If your a provider has this many guys who don't wash their ass, maybe it time you raise your rates.

This goes both ways...

[pitbull]

This just made my day! xoxoxox

I am with you on this, +1 - I call bullshit on girls and this is based on my own experience. Iv been a high volume provider for many years. I have only had 2/3 guys who couldn't wash themselves properly. All the other men know how to wash their ass and smell awesome.

You got a good point here. +1

Iv never asked a client if I could shower upon my arrival.But that is because I took a shower right before I left the house to see him. But when I arrive, I use the bathroom to freshen up and change, I usually bring my own kit of stuff.

I call bullshit, I am high volume provider, I don't have this problem. This is shit being blown up like fucking time bomb.

Fuck that.....secondly, I am with the guys on this on this one. The guys DONOT come and pay to see us hookers, to have a bunch bullshit fucking drama. And deal with more shit, than they already got at home. 99% of the guys will do anything you ask them to do. (again based on my experience)

I find this funny, because its been my experience men love a good whore. Just saying! If you have people in your life who mistreat you, and treat you like shit... fuck em get rid of them. You won't have this problem. Don't worry about what other people think. Because then you become their bitch.

All FWB are whores, All girlfriends are whores, All wives are whores. All hookers providers escorts are whores. That?s why there?s a Valentine?s Day. That?s why car leases expire in 16 months instead of 12. It takes 16 months for SUV Roofies to wear off. My point is, all women are whores, and the last thing men want is a whore who doesn?t know how to do her job with a foul snatch.

I don't really mean everyone is whore... Now I'm being a smart ass, time to stop....

Bullshit, providers who see clients with foul fish like snatch pussy smells just as bad if not worse in some cases.

We have providers right here on this board who straight up LIE on there advertising, claim they don't smoke, it doesn't matter incall or outcall, they smell like an ash tray. I never knew how bad cigarettes smelled until I got sick with stage 1cancer and quit for good got my sense of smell back. If your a provider has this many guys who don't wash their ass, maybe it time you raise your rates.

This goes both ways...

Wow. It's interesting that Nikki mentions that quitting smoking helped her sense of smell to return, because smokers smell so bad and they are usually the last to know. Perhaps these smelly clients just have horrible senses of smell. I don't know. I don't really want to know.

I sure hope Nikki's cancer treatment is going well. Take care.

[FatDog]

great thread......i've implemented a new pussy policy. your box better not smell like used rubbers, or a tuna canning factory at high noon....it better be summers eve fresh. mkay....

[Jez UaBriain]

You liked that comment, hay. I knew you would. That is exactly the reason I put that comment in. ;-D

[Guest]

It is about time ....It is all over the world....is it conspiracy of toilet paper manufacturers ? lol

I am not saying this is the answer but it is helpful. Showering after number 2 is essential.

sometime I hate doggy because women TOO have their share of the aroma ..using the whole roll of toilet paper is not enough.

v=ZKLnhuzh9uY'>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY

[Audrey Astor]

Okay, I do not understand this at all. It sounds like there is a bunch of guys who don't wash. I find this hard to believe. I am sure it happens, but to this chronic of a scale? Ladies, if you are going to an outcall and you drive over 30 minutes to get to your appointment, do you ask the guy to take a shower? I doubt it.

I'm a regular guy, and shower in the morning right after. SO, if I take a shower and then an hour later get to a meeting with a provider, I can guarantee my ass does not smell. I have never had any complaints. If a lady wants me to shower, I will, but come on.

No, this is not a chronic problem; thank gosh! It's just when it does happen, it is so disturbing.

And to answer your question; yes, when I go on outcalls, I excuse myself to the restroom, to again freshen my mouth, and wash my privates, and ass AGAIN. With any luck a tongue will be down there soon, so I like to be fresh.

[Bit Banger]

Sign I saw in a bar/restuarant yesterday

NOTICE: All employees are requested to take a BATH before reporting for work ... Since we have to kiss your ass to get you to do anything, we want it to BE NICE & CLEAN!

(I have a picture but I couldn't figure out how to post it from my phone.)

[gr8owl]

This perhaps?

[Bit Banger]

This perhaps?

Similar, but a different sign.

They also had a sign announcing, "New incentive policy: work or be fired!"

Nice joint in Tortilla Flats, AZ.

[gr8owl]

[Burt Reynolds]

with high volume girls i just pull my cock through my underwear.

[nudiej]

As awesome as it feels when the ladies are 'taking care of' my ass, I won't question any ass test or rag test - mood killer, hardly!

I would add that the ladies do the same. As an ass man there is moment of hesitation when you realize a shower would be a very good idea - followed by a wholesale economy of 'what's next' thoughts - best and easily avoided!

Nothing more exciting than heading down the pleasure path unobstructed and worry free!!

[gettin' up there]

I know one dirty butt is one too many, but just out of curiosity, what percent of your clients do you think come to their appointment unclean? I am lucky to have a shower at work, so I'm able to scrub clean whether I leave for the appointment from home or work. As a guy who enjoys much intimacy, I always come freshly and aggressively scrubbed. As others have suggested, most of us (clients and providers) would be mortified to be informed they were not clean. But I guess there are some that think their uncleanliness will go unnoticed.

I hate to generalize, but I have seen many Asian providers, who almost always take the client right to the shower and step in to clean the client up. This is routine at the AMPs too, where you usually get a table shower before the massage and whatever else you have planned. Another mature, but relatively new provider I have seen a few times just announced the same policy as you.

While I haven't taken advantage of the offer for "shower play" (another p411 "activity enjoyed in private" that will no longer be listed) in a while, I used to take providers up on this a lot. It was a sweet, sensual, soapy, slippery way to start an hour of play. And us gently washing each other "killed 2 birds with one stone"--foreplay and mutual cleaning, though I will admit there was no abrasive scrubbing going on.

Lastly, I will admit, and wonder how common it is for other guys, that as I have spent more time in the hobby, the more I've removed/trimmed body hair. Not that body hair implies dirty, but one of the nice parts about most providers being clean shaven is the visual that all is clean and nothing is lurking in the bush lol.

[pfunk]

I know one dirty butt is one too many' date=' but just out of curiosity, what percent of your clients do you think come to their appointment unclean? [/quote']

I can't answer for the girls, but I used to think, that if I took a shower in the morning, I was good for the whole day! (and I smoked!) I learned better hygiene, but I'm sure I was Mr. Stinky for many appointments early on.

[gettin' up there]

I can't answer for the girls, but I used to think, that if I took a shower in the morning, I was good for the whole day! (and I smoked!) I learned better hygiene, but I'm sure I was Mr. Stinky for many appointments early on.

Uh, I started out that way too! I guess it is part of the learning curve that not everybody gets.