My New Ass Policy: Effective Immediately!! - Ladies, feel free to implement

[Guest]

Upon arrival you will be asked politely about the last time you showered. If it was within the hour, we will proceed.

If it has been longer than an hour and you claim to be ?fresh? you will need to strip. You will be handed a white washcloth and asked to wipe your ass. If all is clear then we shall proceed. (Awkward much?)

If things are not ?clear? then you will need to immediately move to the shower to wash your ass.

If you come in and tell me you need to shower, I will happily lead you to the restroom where a clean towel and washcloth await you. I will expect you to use the washcloth. Using only your hands is not good enough. YOU NEED TO SCRUB YOUR BUTT!

It?s very awkward and annoying on our end when we have to clean up after you. We Ladies are here for your stress release, comfort and enjoyment. You expect us to be fresh and groomed. The least you can do is ensure you a have clean butt hole. Regardless if we are TUMA freaks or not, you leaving streaks on the sheets is never a polite way of showing us how much you appreciate our companionship.

Thanks in advance!

[crazyb]

I love it!!!!! I am surprised its taken this long.

Clean living is GREAT

[Guest]

Riddle me this:

What is the difference between Justina Carter and Captain James Tiberius Kirk?

When Captain Kirk visits Uranus, he's happy when he gets to wipe out Klingons.

[Guest]

Riddle me this:

What is the difference between Justina Carter and Captain James Tiberius Kirk?

When Captain Kirk visits Uranus, he's happy when he gets to wipe out Klingons.

lmao!!!!!

[MAG]

I love it!!!!! I am surprised its taken this long.

Clean living is GREAT

Um, it hasn't taken this long. There's a rant about this once a month or so.

Welcome to November.

[crazyb]

Um, it hasn't taken this long. There's a rant about this once a month or so.

Welcome to November.

And your point is????????

[Guest pejo]

Upon arrival you will be asked politely about the last time you showered. If it was within the hour, we will proceed.

If it has been longer than an hour and you claim to be ?fresh? you will need to strip. You will be handed a white washcloth and asked to wipe your ass. If all is clear then we shall proceed. (Awkward much?)

If things are not ?clear? then you will need to immediately move to the shower to wash your ass.

If you come in and tell me you need to shower, I will happily lead you to the restroom where a clean towel and washcloth await you. I will expect you to use the washcloth. Using only your hands is not good enough. YOU NEED TO SCRUB YOUR BUTT!

It?s very awkward and annoying on our end when we have to clean up after you. We Ladies are here for your stress release, comfort and enjoyment. You expect us to be fresh and groomed. The least you can do is ensure you a have clean butt hole. Regardless if we are TUMA freaks or not, you leaving streaks on the sheets is never a polite way of showing us how much you appreciate our companionship.

Thanks in advance!

Yeah, the awkwardness level is a bit high here. A rag test, seriously? Mood killer. Besides, if the guy took a shower an hour ago, but took a fresh dump 20 minutes ago, you would still have a problem under your 1 hour policy.

Couldn't you just make a pre-session shower mandatory? Maybe you could even be "in charge" in the shower so that things are cleaned as you would like? And install one of those shower massage extension hose things, so you can really get up in there with the water jets-- get that area cleaned up nice!

[fork]

File under "things I learned in kindergarten". Clean your poophole!

[Guest]

Yeah, the awkwardness level is a bit high here. A rag test, seriously? Mood killer. Besides, if the guy took a shower an hour ago, but took a fresh dump 20 minutes ago, you would still have a problem under your 1 hour policy.

Couldn't you just make a pre-session shower mandatory? Maybe you could even be "in charge" in the shower so that things are cleaned as you would like? And install one of those shower massage extension hose things, so you can really get up in there with the water jets-- get that area cleaned up nice!

So running a hose from outside the house into the bathroom isn't good enough for you?

[Kaduk]

So running a hose from outside the house into the bathroom isn't good enough for you?

[Guest]

Thanks Kuduk! This changes everything! I'm gonna personally get all your behinds now!!!

[Guest pejo]

Yes. Problem solved. That is why Kaduk gets paid the big dollars.

Thanks Kuduk! This changes everything! I'm gonna personally get all your behinds now!!!

[slim jim]

You are too funny Justina make sure to include a wash assing and polishing fee. That photo is so disturbing on so many levels.

Note: his age and her age . Even the dog is hanging his head.

sj

[passiondog]

Her age, his age, yep, God it's good to be rich.

[Denguy40]

[BadBoy]

Watch it there mister smarty pants young guy, Slim Jim. Some day you will be old too, and even more horny than you are now (yes, it's true). You won't mind a significant age difference then, I guarantee it.

Viva la difference!

[Guest]

+1 Justina it has always been my policy I had a guy leave because I asked him to do that lol. Safety first it cuts down the possibilities of yikes:eek:

[boink36]

Um, it hasn't taken this long. There's a rant about this once a month or so.

Welcome to November.

There is a very simple answer to this. every month you can post a "Clean your fucking incall" thread. you can add to that, dump the trash and ashtrays every 4 to 6 weeks even if they don't need it.

[2Big]

Shrug, what's the big deal?

Use dark sheets, or put some plastic covering on your bed. Problem solved.

And, if I just took a ginormous dump 5 minutes before showing up, by your calculation that would be ok, right?

[Guest]

Aloha

I now wash every guy before we get started. So far I have only had 3 who still had shit in his ass crack! Sad part, they where not even embarrassed about their lack of hygiene.

BTW, I throw away those washcloths.

Yes, those showers DO count as part of your time and I use a tea tree oil soap, which is a natural antiseptic and leaves you tingling.

[inkspot]

*Thinking to myself* I wonder how the gals would feel if every guy they see insist they spread their legs and see if they pass the smell test.

I think you insult the intelligence of the members.

Run you business as you see fit.

[Guest]

*Thinking to myself* I wonder how the gals would feel if every guy they see insist they spread their legs and see if they pass the smell test.

I think you insult the intelligence of the members.

Run you business as you see fit.

Actually, it can be very fun starting your time together in the shower and I DO advertise stating a shower before, after, yet it always ends up being both. Honestly, I moved into the place I did here in South Florida due to I have a shower big enough for 2+. And everyone loves getting washed especially after a round of golf...LOL

Being clean can actually be FUN when done together, wink wink and so far not one has refused a shower.

Well, just my 2cents, my soapy, sudsy 2cents

[Audrey Astor]

Yeah, the awkwardness level is a bit high here. A rag test, seriously? Mood killer. Besides, if thperennial area ok a shower an hour ago, but took a fresh dump 20 minutes ago, you would still have a problem under your 1 hour policy.

Couldn't you just make a pre-session shower mandatory? Maybe you could even be "in charge" in the shower so that things are cleaned as you would like? And install one of those shower massage extension hose things, so you can really get up in there with the water jets-- get that area cleaned up nice!

That's the fucking problem! Some dudes come in and shower, but somehow forget to use SOAP under their arms or on the perenial area between their balls and asshole. Or like you said they take a crap between their shower and our incall. Toilet paper and baby wipes don't cut it. That situation requires a whole new shower. Thank gosh this is the minority. Most of the guys are as self conscious as I am, and I appreciate that. Should we talk about smoking too? If you smoke, cool. Don't do it between your cleanup and my incall. If I seem like a bitch, oh well... I'm over adults with puss poor hygiene and no consideration. Peace

[Audrey Astor]

*Thinking to myself* I wonder how the gals would feel if every guy they see insist they spread their legs and see if they pass the smell test.

I think you insult the intelligence of the members.

Run you business as you see fit.

I wish someone would make that request. I wash with soap and water AGAIN right before you walk in, along with a good tongue brushing and listerine. This is why I discourage early arrivals.

[2Big]

So, how much time do you girls spend cleaning YOUR azzcracks? Shit goes both ways, so to speak.

Generally, I don't get freaked out over a little poop if I pull it out the poop chute.

Or do you girls shit rosewater petals?

[TheDude720]

Oh so you actually mean New ASS-policy instead of New-Ass policy.

[Archetype]

Or do you girls shit rosewater petals?

I always thought they shit rainbows.

[Bit Banger]

I always thought they shit rainbows.

And there's a pot of gold at the end!

[Seeking ~P]

good tongue brushing and listerine.

I luv tongue scrapers (i stock them)

That gross coffee smell and cigarette smell that is sitting on your tongue, stinks!

[macho]

File under "things I learned in kindergarten". Clean your poophole!

Wow I feel very sorry for that teacher. I'm not trying to shame you. I just wanted teachers to be recognized for going above and beyond. Well you got learn sometime.