Posted October 19, 2014 ...with this new guy I am seeing. I made a sex worker joke and he lost it. lol Totally not supportive of the industry! No idea what I am going to do on this one. lol I almost made this a PM, but figured my suggestion deserved critique by the peanut gallery. 1) Play hard to get for the next 2-3 date requests. Nothing serious, just not available for the requested time, perhaps another time, etc. Be a little distracted during the date, like you have someplace to be afterwards, stuff like that. 2) If he doesn't get the hint, just say that you've been going over your dates in your mind and that you've found a few things which indicate an incompatibility for the long term. Flat out state that you'd like to break it off. But don't give the specific reason - that might enrage the do-gooder pool (see below). 3) If he doesn't get the hint, break off ALL communications with him. If he doesn't understand the industry then if, no - when, he finds out you will become damaged goods, at best someone to save. If you continue on and he falls hard for you, then he will feel cheated and his feelings for the industry will turn to hatred. He will become one of the do-gooders who would punish us all, drive us from the face of the earth. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2014 I am going through this right now. Usually when I date personally on about the 3rd date, I will casually bring up sex work with a joke and see how the guy takes it. In my last serious relationship after about 8 weeks of dating and him professing his love for me, I told him straight up about it and if he wanted me to quit. I had made lots of sex worker jokes and we would discuss how important I think sex worker rights are since about the 3rd date. He was supportive and understood the positives to being a hobbyist and a provider. He did say he was really surprised that I was a provider. lol He wanted me to quit and was fine covering my expenses as he made pretty good money. That relationship lasted several months. Now, I am starting to get a little serious with this new guy I am seeing. I made a sex worker joke and he lost it. lol Totally not supportive of the industry! No idea what I am going to do on this one. lol Making a suger daddy out of one boyfriend and building a relationship on lies, half truth, and jokes with another. you are not only a credit to your profession but your gender as well. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2014 I almost made this a PM, but figured my suggestion deserved critique by the peanut gallery. 1) Play hard to get for the next 2-3 date requests. Seriously???? Are you being sarcastic? If not, this is the dumbest advice I could imagine. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2014 Makes me wonder what it would be like dating someone who escorts for a living. Or do the ladies plan to quit if they find a SO? I have been seeing one lady almost exclusively on a very regular basis for the last few months. We know each other pretty well by now. It's been kind of like having an office wife with benefits. We spend time together and have a good time and go our separate ways at the end of the day. She is someone I would definitely be interested in really dating if the opportunity were there. This morning I was tempted to ask her out as a civilian, but, don't want to ruin a good thing. http://youtu.be/1KCem_Za9TY 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2014 Seriously???? Are you being sarcastic? If not, this is the dumbest advice I could imagine. Haven't you been dumped that way before? The gal just seems to lose interest in you, has difficulty making a date. If you don't get the hint, they advance to #2 or #3. My point was to break it off with this guy w/o revealing affiliation with escorting. Otherwise he may just become a member of the MORAL group trying to eradicate her livelihood and our hobby. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2014 Haven't you been dumped that way before? The gal just seems to lose interest in you, has difficulty making a date. If you don't get the hint, they advance to #2 or #3. My point was to break it off with this guy w/o revealing affiliation with escorting. Otherwise he may just become a member of the MORAL group trying to eradicate her livelihood and our hobby. Yes I have, which is why I think it's bullshit advice. She doesn't have to reveal anything to break it off in a kinder way. "We're not compatible" works just fine. SMH 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2014 Yes I have, which is why I think it's bullshit advice. She doesn't have to reveal anything to break it off in a kinder way. "We're not compatible" works just fine. SMH Something I didn't mention.... When a person plays "hard to get" in the hopes that the other person will lose interest, it can lead to that person trying harder and harder to make contact, rather than giving up. I've heard of stalking situations that have begun this way. The best advice is to make it (politely) clear that you're not interested. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 20, 2014 Making a suger daddy out of one boyfriend and building a relationship on lies, half truth, and jokes with another. you are not only a credit to your profession but your gender as well. So washing his clothes, packing his lunch everyday, making sure all of his safety equipment was in his truck before he left for work, giving him nightly massages, making sure the house was clean before he came home, and watching his kids while he was at work along with doing my civilian job and other duties means I was a sugar baby? lol ok Most women don't enjoy taking care of a man. They don't like to cook and clean and make sure he is happy. I love it. I love making sure he feels special and wanted. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 20, 2014 Now, I am starting to get a little serious with this new guy I am seeing. I made a sex worker joke and he lost it. lol Totally not supportive of the industry! No idea what I am going to do on this one. lol I echo one of the points made by others--if you bail on this relationship, best to do it in a way that doesn't leave him angry or vindictive. As I recall, you live in a small town. Risk is higher in that setting that he finds out what you do for a living (coffee shop gossip, and all that). If he is angry because of the breakup then finds out you are an ASP, he could complicate things for you. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 20, 2014 From the male perspective: Do you even care if we have an SO? I know most of us ladies just assume (until otherwise told) that you have an SO. But I am just curious if you care about us. I know some ladies are very private about it and others have been open from the get go. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 20, 2014 From the male perspective: Do you even care if we have an SO? I know most of us ladies just assume (until otherwise told) that you have an SO. But I am just curious if you care about us. I know some ladies are very private about it and others have been open from the get go. Nope. Don't care at all. Some ASPs I know are very open about it. Seems like a normal thing to do (date, I mean). Every now and again an ASP's SO might be "visible." Like, he is in the house when she is seeing you, or he is just leaving as you are arriving. That is REALLY REALLY not ok. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 20, 2014 From the male perspective: Do you even care if we have an SO? I know most of us ladies just assume (until otherwise told) that you have an SO. But I am just curious if you care about us. I know some ladies are very private about it and others have been open from the get go. No, I don't care if the provider has a SO and I usually assume she does. I typically stay away from talking about SOs. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 20, 2014 I've been single for 6 years. Before the hobby I attempted dating sites.....what a nightmare! I found the hobby a year ago and was so relieved. After dealing with so many crazy guys I was beginning to become very jaded. I was tired of being lied to and led on. I don't have those issues in the hobby. If a guy doesn't want to see me anymore, he stops seeing me....no stupid excuses, no lies and no hurt feelings. I get to have all the perks of being a girlfriend without any of the drama. I did try dating a client but it was more of the same......lies and excuses. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 20, 2014 I've been single for 6 years. Before the hobby I attempted dating sites.....what a nightmare! I found the hobby a year ago and was so relieved. After dealing with so many crazy guys I was beginning to become very jaded. I was tired of being lied to and led on. I don't have those issues in the hobby. If a guy doesn't want to see me anymore, he stops seeing me....no stupid excuses, no lies and no hurt feelings. I get to have all the perks of being a girlfriend without any of the drama. I did try dating a client but it was more of the same......lies and excuses. Agree with this COMPLETELY 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 21, 2014 Here's my two cents on the subject. From personal experience, i learned this can be a exciting and educational experience. I dated a woman who worked part time as an escort, in addition to her "regular" employment. I saw her first professionally, twice, and then she asked ME if I'd like to date her. I agreed, what fool wouldn't, and things went swimmingly for about 6 months. During that time, she continued to see other clients, although I never asked how many or when, because I truly did not want to know. Looking back, I think she was a VERY low volume provider, in that she always seemed to be free for a date with me, and worked steadily at her full time employment. Casual dating with her was great, fun, exciting and very satisfying. About 6 months into the relationship, I noticed a change. For me, I was falling in love with this woman, but she seemed resistant and hesitant, and grew distant. One day, out of the blue, she sent me an email, telling me she no longer could see me, professionally or casually dating. This was very devastating, and unexpected, and I took it hard. But I learned a valuable lesson. Never let your feelings overwhelm your common sense. Casual dating is just that, casual. Serious relationships involve both people. Don't overcommit yourself unless you know how the other person really feels. For the record, this lady was in her 40's divorced, very beautiful, sexy, vivacious, a great companion, and grounded. I believe very strongly that she really liked me, but that a serious relationship with me was not right for her at the time. We parted as friends, no bitterness, no anger, no resentment or ill feelings. If I ran into her on the street or in the mall, I would have no problem greeting her warmly with a hug. And I think she would do the same. Friends don't hold grudges. Just an observation for those who would engage in dating a provider, or becoming a SO to one in the business. Make sure your heart, and mind, are in the right place BEFORE you enter into this kind of relationship. Don't get hurt, know the consequences if you break up, but more power to you if it works out. And ladies, please remember, we have feelings too. Make sure your hearts aren't broken later on either. Tread lightly everyone, where love and sex are ventured. The two aren't always mutually exclusive, to all. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 23, 2014 So I am wondering why the ladies say it would be better to date someone you met in the civilian world and then tell him what you do. It does not make sense to me. Is this so you can keep your lives separate or because you think he won't be able to separate it. Seems to me that a guy already active here could be more understanding of your situation and willing to accept it. Thoughts? Because escorts hold the men who see them in contempt. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 23, 2014 Because escorts hold the men who see them in contempt. That's a blanket statement and not true. I have definitely taken advantage of the gents I have met in the business because some are definitely date worthy. To me dating in the civilian world as a provider is like having herpes, it's a dirty secret you have to confess before you can move forward with someone. It sucks and I would rather stick with people who already know what I do so I can get over that hump more easily. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 26, 2014 If you dated a provider and even got serious, what would your expectations be of her? Would you go behind her back and see other providers if you were serious? I can only imagine how trust and loyalty would play here. Seems life would be cake if you didn't bother trying to date her. Who knows, weigh out your options and maybe make a joke about it to her and see what she says. What do you have to lose? When dating, questions are usually asked about what our thoughts, opinions, and beliefs are within the first 3 dates. (if you aren't asking him questions about what kind of guy he is and his character, maybe you should start. that'll help filter out the guys that aren't a waste of your time) That is usually a good time in my opinion to see how he feels about money for sex. Depending on his reaction you go on another date or no. Very simple. Its really none of his business to know what you do, unless you are getting serious. Again, my opinion. lol 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 29, 2014 But then we're all infected at one time or another in our lives with that madness called love. There's no logic or reason to it, it just happens. The personal circumstances of the individuals involved will affect the path the course of love takes. As well as the personal chemistries determining if that love is a long slow smoldering burn or a flash fire over and done in an instant. Will it work or won't it? No way to tell unless you try it and some might say all you need is love. http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=moulin+rouge+elephant+love+medley+view&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=D5172484D160B68CA3E1D5172484D160B68CA3E1 ...Happy Hobbying... ...Crazy Horse... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 6, 2014 I have always been a serial monogamist. The last few months of seeing escorts has confirmed for me that I am happiest in a committed relationship. I like seeing you lovely ladies, but, there is still an unfulfilled hole in my soul. I can honestly say that I have never cheated on someone when in a relationship. Intellectually I don't believe in monogamy, but, have never had the opportunity to try out a non-monogamous relationship. I guess dating an escort would be the ultimate test of that theory. I am a bit gun shy of a real commitment at this point, but, definitely miss having a SO to go out to dinner, shows, concerts, etc. So I would like that with the freedom on both sides to take time to really get to know each other and make sure that we are a really good match before jumping into a commitment again. Not looking for free sex. I am willing to pay. I would not defraud a lady by pretending to be in a relationship only for free sex. Just not that kind of guy. Sage advice oh wise one. Thanks. +1 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 7, 2014 To the OP, soooo how has it worked out? Your absence on discussions recently is noticeable. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 10, 2014 there's a vast difference between dating an ASP and having a true relationship with one. dating means more going out, doing things, having fun and seeing if you click. relationships are different than that. her feelings for you are more important than what she does for a living, so i'd focus on that if i were you. then you have to ask yourself can you deal with what she does for a living -- or is it really about getting free sex. if you can separate your feelings in your dick from those in your heart, the solution to your dilemma will be easier. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 1, 2015 Someone's bound to get jealous because of the whole working situation... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
